Bungou Stray Dogs shit

[i-was-attacked]

Q: YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM CAPABLE OF.

Dazai: I don't wanna sound rude, but I feel like I'm being threatened by a cupcake.

[i-was-attacked]

Kunikida: Eat your vegetables.

Ranpo: Sorry, I can't. I'm on diet.

Kunikida: What kind of died stops you from eating carrots??

Ranpo: It's a special diet, strictly gummy bears only.

Kunikida:

Kunikida: what-

[i-was-attacked]

Mark: So you can, "Have a nice day" and that's considered polite.

Mark: But you can't say, "Enjoy the next 24 hours" without sounding extremely threatening.

John: WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM.

[i-was-attacked]

Fyodor: Kolya, I love you with all my ego.

Nikolai: Ego?

Fyodor: I would say my heart, but my ego is bigger.

[i-was-attacked]

Dazai: How would you feel if I fell of a cliff?

Chuuya: Not surprised.

Dazai: I was asking whether you would care.

Chuuya: You've fallen of seventeen cliffs before.

Dazai: And?

Chuuya: And you're still alive, aren't you?

Dazai: Excuse me for trying to ask a deep question.

Chuuya: Excuse me for having to fish you out of a deep lake.

[i-was-attacked]

[Captured by a villain]

Kunikida: Don't say a word.

Dazai: Fergalicious.

Kunikida: I said no words!

Dazai: Oh! I see! Two weeks ago while playing Scrabble it wasn't a word, and now suddenly it is a word, because it's convenient to you.

[i-was-attacked]

Mori, to Q: I have a lot of questions, but the first one has to be where you got flamethrower.

[i-was-attacked]

Kouyou: How'd you guys get kicked out of the movie theatre?

Chuuya: That idiot kept yelling out diving scores as people jumped off of the Titanic.

Dazai: That last guy had a solid 8, let me tell you.

[i-was-attacked]

Ranpo: Fresh ava ca doo.

Fukuzawa: Please, I don't understand.

[i-was-attacked]

Gogol: I'm responsible adult.

Fyodor:

Gogol: I'm responsible.

Fyodor:

Gogol: I'm.

[i-was-attacked]

Tanizaki: Dazai made me call his old friends to tell them he'd died, just to see how they'd react.

(Earlier)

Tanizaki: *on the phone with Ango*

Dazai: Is he crying?

Tanizaki: A little.

Dazai: *grabbing phone from Tanizaki* YOU SHOULD BE WAILING, YOU STONE COLD BITCH!

Tanizaki:

Dazai: Now call Chuuya.

[i-was-attacked]

Fyodor: If you have any objections, feel free to put them in the suggestion box.

Pushkin: That's the trash can.

Fyodor: Exactly.

[i-was-attacked]

Atsushi: *with his foot stuck in a chair* You may be asking, "Atsushi, how did you do this to yourself?"

Atsushi: *slightly baffled and trying to get out* Well, guys, Atsushi doesn't know either.

[i-was-attacked]

Chuuya: I sent good vibes your way.

Chuuya: They are coming.

Chuuya: There's nothing you can do to stop them.

Dazai: ... This is the most threatening way I've ever been cheered up.

[i-was-attacked]

Kunikida, holding a marshmallow: You can have this when you'll help us with this case.

Ranpo: I'm 26! You can't motivate me with snacks!

Kunikida: I guess I'll just walk away then.

Ranpo: HOLD ON, I never said I didn't want it-

[lady-tortilla-chip]

Gin:

Gin:

Gin:

Ryuunosuke: no I’m not saying that to her quit being a wimp and do it yourself.

Gin:

Ryuunosuke: foul language will get you nowhere.

Gin:

Ryuunosuke: ......wait no don’t tell Jinko, fine! Fine I’ll help you with Higuchi.

Gin:

Tachihara: I’m terrified.

[i-was-attacked]

Dazai: How much could I possibly owe you? Fifty/sixty bucks?

Kunikida: Two thousand, four hundred and thirty seven dollars.

Dazai: Dollars?! Wait, of course dollars. Why was that the part I was surprised by?