Where Writing, Reading, And Mars Collide

All Mars, all the time! (Mostly...)

[i-writeandread-blog]

Live like a dream

Just landed in Croatia, been meeting our echie sisters all over the airport. Will be posting a lot from the island. I’ll upload some footage from the Amsterdam show. Jared pointed me out at the front (it’s nice to be recognized) and then he kicked a balloon onto my head. Those were my favorite moments. I live streamed the whole thing. I’ll upload some content from that. Anyway, it’s almost Leto time!!!

[i-writeandread-blog]

In Amsterdam

So I’m 5 days into my vacation and I can’t help but wonder if I’ll be one of the lucky ones to run into the boys here in Holland. I’m not going to seek them out, so don’t expect it to happen, but we’ll see... tomorrow night is the show and I don’t even think they’re here yet anyway... also side note, it’s fucking cold here.

[nikkitasevoli]

Ugh 💥💦🔥🔥 hottest man alive

[msroxy]

beautiful pic

[i-writeandread-blog]

So sweet

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Europe (oh how I love thee...)

So I leave in 20 days for three weeks in England, Holland, Germany, and Croatia. I’ll be at the Amsterdam show and the Schloß Salem show, and mars island if anyone wants to meet up. I’m extremely overwhelmed by this trip, but my plan is to post a few chapters up before I go. And if I don’t sleep on the planes bc i never can, I’ll be writing. I hope to catch some of you out there!!!

[i-writeandread-blog]

Well it’s official. I’m old. Happy birthday to meeeee! (Yesterday that is)

And by old, I mean I remember walkmans, cabbage patch kids when they FIRST came out, and MTV when they actually had music videos.

[i-writeandread-blog]

This just never ever gets old. Anytime I’m in need of a pick me up, this does the trick, albeit with tears in my eyes!

[nikkitasevoli]

Oh yes babe 😏😈

[i-writeandread-blog]

Omg! My son just got...

Signed up for a USA national soccer team!!! (Futbol) so excited!!! (The team is DC United)

I am one very proud Mama!!!

[grimandghoulish]

reblog if you remember what it felt like to walk into blockbuster

[i-writeandread-blog]

Yes, I’m this many years old

[i-writeandread-blog]

I just found your blog and read your stories. I love each and every one!!! I also saw that you have had trouble with your daughter and have been held up. I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what you went/and are going through. I'm so sorry this happened. Just wanted to let you know!!

Oh you’re so sweet! Things have no doubt been super rough around here lately. But I know that they’ll get better! Thanks for reading my stories. I was going to post some tonight but I’ve had a crappy bad day. Maybe I’ll crank something out before I fall asleep!!!

[i-writeandread-blog]

Wonderland - Chapter 14

I’m not sure how I am doing this, but I’m literally working on 4 different stories simultaneously. I hope it isn’t confusing for any of you reading more than one of mine at a time. I’m going to try to figure out how to create a link at the top that has each one and a master list attached. Hopefully that will help both you and I. Anyway... (also the tags weren’t working for some... I don’t know why.)

"I love you. My sweet, funny, adorable Ali." Jared said out of nowhere.

I bolted right up. I was shocked, which goes without saying. Do I say it back? Can I say it back? I couldn't ignore it. It was plain as day that he said it. My reaction clearly evident that I heard it too. I stared at him incredulously. I lost all motor function skills. I just sat there looking bewildered.

"Ali, it's true. I'm madly, deeply, head over heels in love with you. You don't have to say it back, in fact I don't want you to say it back unless you mean it. But this feeling in my heart, body, and soul is undeniable. I've only ever felt the same way about five people before. I know what this is. And I'm sorry if it scares you or if it's a terrifying prospect, but I'm not going to hide anything from you. I promised that to you the night you found out about Jamie and I lying to you. I promised honesty, and here it is." Jared spoke from the heart.

"Jared, are you absolutely sure you love me, are IN love with me?

"Without a shred of a doubt. You are the last person I ever plan on feeling this way about. I'm prepared to love you as long as you let me and even beyond that. I'm going to love you whether you want me to or not."

I snatched him into my arms, hugging him with all my might. He was beyond anything I could ever have imagined. He was my everything.

"I love you, Jared Joseph Leto. I have loved you from the minute I first watched an interview with you years ago. I knew I loved you. I knew I was in love with you. I don't know how, but it was true. I haven't stopped loving you and being under your spell ever. Even when I was mad at you, I couldn't not still love you. You have been the answers to all my prayers. Thank you for giving me a chance! I love you, I love you, I freaking love you, Leto!" I showered him with kisses to his forehead, temples, cheeks, and settling on his mouth. He laughed. When I stopped, he pulled away to look at me. We sat there staring into each other's eyes for what felt like every bit of five minutes. Neither of us saying a word. Just drinking each other in.

I finally broke the silence and said, "so what now, sir?" He lightly moaned at the word sir. He studied me a few moments longer then ordered me to undress. I did exactly as I was told and grabbed the hem of my shirt, lifting it over my head. My breasts bounced and my nipples were instantly hard. He watched my every move, not saying a word. I slowly pulled off my pajama bottoms under the bedding. He grabbed the sheets and bedspread and tossed them completely off the bed. I was completely exposed and my natural instinct was to try to hide myself. He was having none of that, pulling my arms from my body.

Still not saying a word, he positioned me the way he wanted me. I was laying flat on my back. He had my arms raised above my head and my legs spread eagle. I was uncomfortable being this bare and on display, but I didn't dare move. He got up and rummaged through his suitcase, pulling out a tie. I wasn't expecting him to have one.

"Oh little Ali, I'm so glad I brought this. I'm going to tie your wrists. They are to remain above your head. Your legs can't be restrained to anything so they will stay open like this okay?"

I nodded.

"You're going to have to tell me this is okay. I need words. Are you alright with this?"

"Yes." I breathed out heavily.

“Ali, this is just a small sliver of a taste of what it means to play, we won't even need a safe word. Do you trust me to worship you the way you deserve?"

"With all my heart."

He smiled wide.  He delicately wrapped the tie around my wrists and pulled it into a knot.  Then he started caressing my face, giving me a gentle kiss on my forehead.  I started to shiver from the lack of clothing and blankets.  He walked over to the thermostat and turned the heat up.

I watched him like a hawk, curious as to what he had in store for me.  When he turned around he said, "I think I want you blindfolded.  It'll make this so much more pleasurable."

"No, Jared.  I can't do that."

"No?"

"I'm not ready." I admitted.

"Okay, I'm not going to push you into anything, so I've got a better idea.  You're not to cum tonight unless I tell you that you can.  If you do, I will take you over my knee and spank you."

I gulped and sucked in too much air and started coughing.  He came back to the bed.  "Ali, you said you trust me.  Work with me here.  If I need to punish you, it will be for good reason.  Withholding an orgasm is an intense experience.  If you do as I say, you will have the most gratifying night of your life."

"I'll try.  But I'm not sure about the spanking part."

"Then I guess you'll have to try really hard then."

He climbed onto the bed straddling my waist.  His hands were expertly moving down my arms to my chest.  He pinched both nipples simultaneously sending a shockwave through my body.  "So sensitive." He muttered.  He started tracing little circles faintly on my stomach and the sensation caused my whole body to tingle.  He was moving at a snails pace and I was enjoying every second of it.  He moved down to the edge of the bed and bent my knees just enough to get a good view of my glistening slit. 

"You are so beautiful."  He said as he ran his hands up and down the inside of my thighs, again barely touching and sending jolts directly to my core.  Without warning he ran his finger between my folds and began rubbing my clit.  The contact making me almost close my legs.

"Stay put."

I regained control rather fast and stayed in the moment, enjoying his delightful assault on my tender bud.  Jared was beyond sexy and just looking at him do this was going to send me over the edge.  I closed my eyes.  The irony not lost on me since I didn't want to be blindfolded.  Not watching him, did indeed make it that much more alluring.

He deftly slid a finger inside and began slowly fucking me.  I arched my back and felt a slow build inside of me.  He slowed his movements down, helping me escape an impending orgasm.  He broke contact and I ached not having his touch.  Still not looking, I hadn't realized that he had completely shifted himself.

If it weren't for the beard, I wouldn't have had any inclination of what's to come.  But I knew his mouth was inches from my sex.  He blew a faint breath and then I felt his tongue licking my juices up.

"Mmm Jared, I need you inside me."

"Patience, sweet Ali."

He brushed his lips over my clit, kissing me and then sucking.  I was being driven to the brink only to have him stop, again and again.  This was pure torture.

He slid two fingers into my hole and pumped them in and out, all the while, sucking and nibbling on my clit.  I was so close, I began to tense.

"Don't you dare."

I was trying to reign it in.  I wanted to follow his rules, but I didn't know how.  I started crying.  He stopped.

"Open your eyes Baby."

I opened them and he was hovering over me.  "I'm sorry, you aren't ready.  We need to work on your control.  Just relax."

He pulled his pants off and I saw him stroke himself a few times then he glided into me.  He filled me slowly and completely.  Sliding in and out softly and taking his time.  I wrapped my legs around him and urged him to move faster, but he wasn't in any rush.  I knew I was close and I was still unsure if I was allowed to cum.  He answered my unspoken question.  "Let go baby."  I tensed up and then exploded around his throbbing cock inside me.  "That's it baby.  I love you.  You're perfect." 

Jared continued pushing in and out agonizingly slow.  He wasn't ready for his release and was just basking in the moment.  He nuzzled my neck and kissed everywhere his mouth could reach.  I wanted badly to run my fingers through his hair, but couldn't due to the restraints.  He reached up and tugged the tie off my wrists, reading my mind as he always does.  I took the opportunity to run my hands down to his ass and squeeze, then bringing them up and fisting them in his long hair. 

He rocked his hips back and forth more intense each time and was finally giving in.  "I need you to cum again babe."  He was erratic in his actions.  He shifted his angle which hit my g spot perfectly.  I came undone and he followed behind immediately.

We laid there entwined with each other.  Neither of us wanting to break contact.  I knew we couldn't stay like that long, so I relished in it. The way he held me, told me he really did love me.

We were both spent and neither of us had any energy other than to break the connection and roll into each other's arms.  He reached over and turned the forgotten TV off.  Followed by the lights on the nightstand.  It was completely dark but I could see his outline.  I traced my fingers on his handsome face and couldn't stop thinking about how lucky I was.

"Ali, I wanted you to have an amazing experience tonight and I'm sorry it didn't work out."

"Oh, but it did Leto.  It was pure bliss.  Thank you."

“My job is to make you feel special and cared for. If ever I don’t, you will have to speak up and tell me. Deal?”

I found his hand and grabbed hold, shaking it. “Deal. And if I ever do anything that upsets you, no matter what it is. You have to tell me. Communication is the key to a relationship. No secrets, and we talk everything through, right?”

He shook my hand back and said, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I thought back to the earlier conversation and was intrigued by what he had confessed. I needed to know all aspects of him. The good, the bad, and the ugly. We were truly still in the business of getting to know each other. As open as his life is because of him being famous, there’s still the private things that people don’t know. “Hey Leto, wanna play twenty questions?”

It was dead silence, then a chuckle. “Let’s make it even more interesting... let’s play truth or dare.”

This could and would be fun, so naturally I was up for it. “Sure.”

“Alright Ali, you have a question, so you go first.”

“Okay... truth or dare, Jared.”

“Dare.” I made a sound of shock and then reached for a pillow, hitting him with it.

“Okay, Okay... truth.”

“That’s better, so earlier you said you’ve only ever loved five people before. Who were they?”

He let out a breath and then answered with no hesitation. “My mom, my brother, my grandparents, and an ex girlfriend.”

I knew who the ex was but I wanted him to say it. I didn’t know if he still had feelings for her and I know she was married and many years had moved them beyond that point in their lives. Still he needed to say it and it would never be brought up again. “Cameron?”

“Yes. Okay my turn. Truth or dare?”

“You choose.”

“Okay, truth. Other than a Mars show, what was the last concert you went to?”

“Oh that’s too easy... but I’ll answer anyway. It was AC/DC.”

“Ali, you are just too fucking cute.”

We played the game for about 15 minutes not once choosing dare. The questions were lighthearted and fun, nothing too serious as we were both really sleepy and more so just wanting to hear each other’s voices. Then we both fell asleep.

@callmeasyoulove @nikkitasevoli @branded-with-a-j @snewsome756 @llfd1977 @letojokerownsme @lady-grinning-soul-k @burritoverload @lolainblue @lostinletoland @msroxyblog

[i-writeandread-blog]

Wonderland Masterlist

Okay I’m trying my hands at a masterlist for the first 12 chapters to make it easier on everyone. Hopefully this works….

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Let me know if this isn’t working so I can fix! Thanks!

[i-writeandread-blog]

In case any of you need to catch up. I’m not really good with technology so someone may need to help me put this up in the description area...

[i-writeandread-blog]

Wonderland - Chapter 13

And just like that, Wonderland is back! (Y’all it survived Thanos snap after all) Geez, I missed Jared and Ali so much!! Enjoy!

I was surprised at first when Jared grabbed the bottle of brown liquor, but he was nothing if not a team player. We all loosened up rather quickly and I knew we were in for a long night.  I started shuffling the cards and looked to my two friends.  "Asshole, right?"  They nodded.

Jared's confused look was really adorable. "Jare, asshole is a game.  Let me explain the rules to you.  Girls we are going to have to ease him into this, he's a newbie and doesn't drink."  I explained the rules and how you don't want to end up being the asshole at the end of the round.  He caught on quickly and surprisingly was better at it than us three.  Especially considering we along with our group of friends had been playing it for at least five years. Darlene was not amused that she had been asshole two out of the three times we played and we all could tell from her not so subtle sighs and shrugs.  Usually when we played she would be the one doing most of the "winning."  At any rate, our hearts weren't really in it and we were getting tipsy a little too fast since we hadn't ate.

The food arrived and we were all happy to finally have something to do other than drink.  No one was speaking as we all consumed fries, burgers, pizza, and whatever else was available. We laughed a little at how much food we were devouring, then as if we all on cue thought about Nicky at the same time we started to cry. It was completely emotional in the room. I don't think we were ever going to be normal again as a group. The pain was going to be too much.

When we all seemed to be stuffed to the brim, Darlene started to shuffle the cards and set up for another game, when Jared grabbed her arm and stopped her.  The look of shock on Darlene was hysterical to me.  She was the alpha of every group.  Even her husband knew that she was the head of the household, giving in to her every desire.  "Please, don't." He said.  She looked to me and I nodded in agreement.

"Well, why the fuck not?" Dar questioned us.

"Because we are tired, we have jet lag, and we have a big day tomorrow.  Let's just call it a night and we can catch up more tomorrow. Please, Dar?"  I pleaded with her.

"Fine, but I'm breaking into MY mini bar when I get back to the room.  Thanks, Jared for the free booze. You're a doll."  She said and then leaned in and kissed his temple.  She stepped out of the room and said, "Come on Heather, we aren't wanted anymore." Heather got up and followed her to the door like a little puppy.

"Dar, that's not..." Jared stopped me. "Let them go." The door closed with a loud thud.

"Jared, I'm so sorry. I should have warned you about how crass she can be. I fear she may make me look badly. But you don't know the history or the stories behind our friendship."

"You're right, she does come off a little strong and I have to admit, I can't see how the two of you even know each other. I'd like to find out. Tell me while I clean up?" He got up and started picking up the liquor bottles and trashing them in the wastebasket.

"Okay, it's a doozy. You ready to hear some not so good things about your.... umm.... me?"

"Ali, you're my girlfriend. Just because we haven't actually said it out loud doesn't make it not true, so go ahead and call yourself that from this moment going forward, ok?"

"Alright, I guess I'll dive right in. I met Darlene at church." Jared spun around to look at me and smirked. "Yes, church, Jared. We aren't all heathens like you." He laughed, "uh huh."

"Well, it's true. We met at church. I was very active. My parents made us go as kids, but once I was older, I had the choice and I chose to still go. Silver Lake Baptist Church had a really big group of kids my age. We were teenagers. There really wasn't much to do in that po dunk town. So we went to church. It beat sitting at home.  Anyway, my cousin Lynne was always picking up strays.  Animals and people.  She has a kind heart, much kinder than mine.  One Saturday night we all met at church to go somewhere, probably bowling or skating... something along those lines, and in walks Lynne with Darlene.  I had never seen her before, but I was used to always being the center of attention.  I guess I sensed how strong of a personality Dar has and didn't want her to steal the spotlight. I immediately started picking on her.  It didn't matter to me that I was at church.  So it started with her weight, she has always been a bigger girl.  Then I found out her mom worked at the casino.  So I made some snide remark along the lines of, "my family plays the games there, we don't work them."  As if that somehow meant I was better than she was.  I don't know what got into me, but I just kept going until we were back at the church and she broke out in tears.  It was time to leave so I caught a ride with Lynne and Dar.  We dropped her off, so I knew where she stayed.  The next day feeling so guilty, I went to her house and knocked on the door, she answered and asked me in these exact words: "what the hell do you want?" I apologized and we became friends... through the years there's been a lot of ups and downs.  I've seen her go from raising her own self practically because her mom couldn't be bothered to do it, to being kicked out of her moms house because the many guys she brought over didn't like her.  I was there when she was being abused and then later when she met her husband.  She's tough on the outside because she always had to be.  She's never had it easy.  Three years ago she had a son who died of SIDS.  She's just never caught a break."  I began to cry. "As bitchy as she is, I get her. And I'm not really any different from her. I was a bitch to her in the beginning. That part of me still exists."

——————————

Ali confessed some darkness about her while I cleaned up, and it seemed to me that she has remained friends with Darlene out of guilt all these years. I felt bad. The two of them had a history, but that didn't mean they had anything in common other than the past. I didn't like that she was beating herself up.

"Ali, you're not a terrible person. You were a child. You did childish things.  Sometimes people are in our lives for a season, they fulfill their purpose and then they go.  It's okay to move on."

“I don't want to walk away from so many years of friendship with her, that would be a bad thing to do."

"Ali, you have nothing in common with her and I'm gonna be honest here, it seems like this life, the one you left behind for greener pastures was left for a reason.  These people all have issues with alcohol and drugs.  I watched Shannon spend years of his life fighting those demons.  Most times those battles can't be won.  They'll suck you down with them."

I watched her as she slowly started to realize I was right, taking in each one of my words and essentially chewing it over in her head.  I know she didn't like the idea that everyone she knew in her past growing up was essentially nothing more than just a means to her being where she was today.  They did not define her.  They could never be remotely anything as beautiful a soul as she was.  And for fucks sake, she deserved to feel better about who she was as a person.

"The girl sitting before me... excuse me, the woman... she is bright, beautiful, funny as hell, and more special than she will ever give herself credit for.  You have me now.  These people can and will move on. You are not the sum of these parts.  They aren't even a fraction of who you are.  And who you are is my girlfriend.  Say it, Ali.  Be proud.  I'm proud of you and your accomplishments.  You got this old bastard for a boyfriend.  Many tried, none came even close.  Say it, Ali."

“Uhhh"

I gave her the look.  The one that said, do it or else.

"I'm your girlfriend." She said meekly.

“No, babe.  Say it loud."

"I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND!"

"That's right, babe.  And don't you forget that.  You're mine.  And I'm your best friend now."

I wanted to tell her right then that I was in love with her, but I knew it was too soon.  Or maybe it wasn't.  But I didn't want to press my luck.  Besides, I wasn't a complete asshole that I'd make her stop all contact with her friends from North Carolina.  She would do that on her own terms and timeline.  But she knew she had a new life going forward, and her future was going to be so bright.

In fact, my first goal was to get her writing again.  It was her dream.  And I knew she would be perfect at it just by listening to her stories.  They were all so colorful and unique.  She had a way of really getting you to feel like you were there in that moment.  I could hear her talk for hours.

“I was one of them once, you know... there wasn’t anything to do when we got older but to drink and fuck around with drugs.” Ali said so low I almost didn’t hear it.

“Oh for fucks sake, Ali. Seriously, what did I do as a teenager? I know you know.”

“Sold drugs.”

“Yes, and do I do it now? Do I drink now? Do I go and break into peoples houses now? No. People change. You have changed. How can you not see this? You changed the minute you decided your life didn’t belong here anymore. So can we concede that fact and stop beating ourselves up over bettering ourselves while others choose not to?”

She nodded and accepted that I was right. I was finally done cleaning up the mess we had all made and I was in desperate need of my “Ali cuddling session.” I walked to the bed and lowered myself into it. She followed suit. Once both of us were in bed, I reached for the remote and turned on the tv.

“What would you like to watch babe?”

“Something funny. Doesn’t matter what. You choose.”

I flipped through rapidly until I spotted Gilligan’s Island. This would be fine because I thought it would be nothing more than just background noise. Boy, was I wrong. Cute little Ali was full of surprises, yet again.

“Oh my God! I love this show. I never understood why it was Gilligan’s island and not the Professors or the Captains, or even the old rich couple. I mean if anyone had the money to buy an island it would be them, I mean I know they didn’t buy the island but still, just seemed weird he was just the skipper. And he was kinda a doof. Ginger was way prettier than Mary Anne, but I guess I can appreciate that...”

I planted my lips on her to get her to shut up. If I hadn’t she would have rambled forever, no doubt in my mind. I kissed her lustfully, and wrapped my arms around her in a huge embrace. She sighed into me. It was the first time she truly loosened up since she got here.

“I love you. My sweet, funny, adorable Ali.” The words tumbled out of my mouth.

She tore herself from my grasp. Sat right up. And stared at me as if I had three heads.

@nikkitasevoli @snewsome756 @llfd1977 @branded-with-a-j @letojokerownsme @lady-grinning-soul-k @lolainblue @msroxyblog @burritoverload @lostinletoland

[fozmeadows]

on fanfic & emotional continuity

Writing and reading fanfic is a masterclass in characterisation. 

Consider: in order to successfully write two different “versions” of the same character - let alone ten, or fifty, or a hundred - you have to make an informed judgement about their core personality traits, distinguishing between the results of nature and nurture, and decide how best to replicate those conditions in a new narrative context. The character you produce has to be recognisably congruent with the canonical version, yet distinct enough to fit within a different - perhaps wildly so - story. And you physically can’t accomplish this if the character in question is poorly understood, or viewed as a stereotype, or one-dimensional. Yes, you can still produce the fic, but chances are, if your interest in or knowledge of the character(s) is that shallow, you’re not going to bother in the first place. 

Because ficwriters care about nuance, and they especially care about continuity - not just literal continuity, in the sense of corroborating established facts, but the far more important (and yet more frequently neglected) emotional continuity. Too often in film and TV canons in particular, emotional continuity is mistakenly viewed as a synonym for static characterisation, and therefore held anathema: if the character(s) don’t change, then where’s the story? But emotional continuity isn’t anti-change; it’s pro-context. It means showing how the character gets from Point A to Point B as an actual journey, not just dumping them in a new location and yelling Because Reasons! while moving on to the next development. Emotional continuity requires a close reading, not just of the letter of the canon, but its spirit - the beats between the dialogue; the implications never overtly stated, but which must logically occur off-screen. As such, emotional continuity is often the first casualty of canonical forward momentum: when each new TV season demands the creation of a new challenge for the protagonists, regardless of where and how we left them last, then dealing with the consequences of what’s already happened is automatically put on the backburner.

Fanfic does not do this. 

Fanfic embraces the gaps in the narrative, the gracenotes in characterisation that the original story glosses, forgets or simply doesn’t find time for. That’s not all it does, of course, but in the context of learning how to write characters, it’s vital, because it teaches ficwriters - and fic readers - the difference between rich and cardboard characters. A rich character is one whose original incarnation is detailed enough that, in order to put them in fanfic, the writer has to consider which elements of their personality are integral to their existence, which clash irreparably with the new setting, and which can be modified to fit, to say nothing of how this adapted version works with other similarly adapted characters. A cardboard character, by contrast, boasts so few original or distinct attributes that the ficwriter has to invent them almost out of whole cloth. Note, please, that attributes are not necessarily synonymous with details in this context: we might know a character’s favourite song and their number of siblings, but if this information gives us no actual insight into them as a person, then it’s only window-dressing. By the same token, we might know very few concrete facts about a character, but still have an incredibly well-developed sense of their personhood on the basis of their actions. 

The fact that ficwriters en masse - or even the same ficwriter in different AUs - can produce multiple contradictory yet still fundamentally believable incarnations of the same person is a testament to their understanding of characterisation, emotional continuity and narrative. 

[earlgreytea68]

So I was reading this rumination on fanfic and I was thinking about something @involuntaryorange once talked to me about, about fanfic being its own genre, and something about this way of thinking really rocked my world? Because for a long time I have thought like a lawyer, and I have defined fanfiction as “fiction using characters that originated elsewhere,” or something like that. And now I feel like…fanfiction has nothing to do with using other people’s characters, it’s just a character-driven *genre* that is so character-driven that it can be more effective to use other people’s characters because then we can really get the impact of the storyteller’s message but I feel like it could also be not using other people’s characters, just a more character-driven story. Like, I feel like my original stuff–the novellas I have up on AO3, the draft I just finished–are probably really fanfiction, even though they’re original, because they’re hitting fanfic beats. And my frustration with getting original stuff published has been, all along, that I’m calling it a genre it really isn’t. 

And this is why many people who discover fic stop reading other stuff. Once you find the genre you prefer, you tend to read a lot in that genre. Some people love mysteries, some people love high-fantasy. Saying you love “fic” really means you love this character-driven genre. 

So when I hear people be dismissive of fic I used to think, Are they just not reading the good fic? Maybe I need to put the good fic in front of them? But I think it turns out that fanfiction is a genre that is so entirely character-focused that it actually feels weird and different, because most of our fiction is not that character-focused. 

It turns out, when I think about it, I am simply a character-based consumer of pop culture. I will read and watch almost anything but the stuff that’s going to stick with me is because I fall for a particular character. This is why once a show falters and disagrees with my view of the character, I can’t just, like, push past it, because the show *was* the character for me. 

Right now my big thing is the Juno Steel stories, and I know that they’re doing all this genre stuff and they have mysteries and there’s sci-fi and meanwhile I’m just like, “Okay, whatever, I don’t care about that, JUNO STEEL IS THE BEST AND I WANT TO JUST ROLL AROUND IN HIS SARCASTIC, HILARIOUS, EMOTIONALLY PINING HEAD.” That is the fanfiction-genre fan in me coming out. Someone looking for sci-fi might not care about that, but I’m the type of consumer (and I think most fic-people are) who will spend a week focusing on what one throwaway line might reveal about a character’s state of mind. That’s why so many fics *focus* on those one throwaway lines. That’s what we’re thinking about. 

And this is what makes coffee shop AUs so amazing. Like, you take some characters and you stick them in a coffee shop. That’s it. And yet I love every single one of them. Because the focus is entirely on the characters. There is no plot. The plot is they get coffee every day and fall in love. That’s the entire plot. And that’s the perfect fanfic plot. Fanfic plots are almost always like that. Almost always references to other things that clue you in to where the story is going. Think of “friends to lovers” or “enemies to lovers” or “fake relationship,” and you’re like, “Yes. I love those. Give me those,” and you know it’s going to be the same plot, but that’s okay, you’re not reading for the plot. It’s like that Tumblr post that goes around that’s like, “Me starting a fake relationship fic: Ooooh, do you think they’ll fall in love for real????” But you’re not reading for the suspense. Fic frees you up from having to spend effort thinking about the plot. Fic gives your brain space to focus entirely on the characters. And, especially in an age of plot-twist-heavy pop culture, that almost feels like a luxury. “Come in. Spend a little time in this character’s head. SPEND HOURS OF YOUR LIFE READING SO MANY STORIES ABOUT THIS CHARACTER’S HEAD. Until you know them like a friend. Until you know them so well that you miss them when you’re not hanging out with them.” 

When that is your story, when the characters become like your friends, it makes sense that you’re freed from plot. It’s like how many people don’t really have a “plot” to hanging out with their friends. There’s this huge obsession with plot, but lives don’t have plots. Lives just happen. We try to shape them into plots later, but that’s just this organizational fiction we’re imposing. Plot doesn’t have to be the raison d’etre of all story-telling, and fic reminds us of that. 

Idk, this was a lot of random rambling but I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. 

[nianeyna]

“fanfiction has nothing to do with using other people’s characters, it’s just a character-driven *genre* that is so character-driven that it can be more effective to use other people’s characters”

yes!!!! I feel like I knew this on some level but I’ve never explicitly thought about it that way. this feels right, yep. Mainstream fiction often seems very dry to me and I think this is why - it tends to skip right over stuff that would be a huge plot arc in a fanfic, if not an entire fanfic in itself. And I’m like, “hey, wait, go back to that. Why are you skipping that? Where’s the story?” But now I think maybe people who don’t like fanfiction are going like, “why is there an entire fanfic about something that could have happened offscreen? Is anything interesting ever going to happen here? Where’s the story?”

[earlgreytea68]

Yes! Exactly! This!!!

This crystallized for me when I taught my first class of fanfiction to non-fic-readers and they just kept being like, “But nothing happens. What’s the plot?” and I was so confused, like, “What are you talking about? They fall in love. That’s the plot.” But we were, I think, talking past each other. They kept waiting for some big moment to happen, but for me the point was that the little moments were the big moments. 

[meanderings0ul]

This is such an awesome conversation, but I think there’s even another layer here that makes ‘fic’ its own genre. And it is the plot.

Everyone who’s experienced in reading fic has their little ‘trope plots’ we are willing to read or even prefer in order to spend time with our favorite characters. We know how it’s gonna end and we genuinely don’t care, because the character is the whole point of why we’re reading. And that is unique. That’s just not how mainstream media publication does things.

But there are also hundreds of thousands of fics people might call ‘plot driven’ and they have wonderful, intricate plots that thrill their readers.

But they’re not at all ‘plot driven’ in the same way as other mainstream genres.

The thing about ‘plot’ in fic is that it tends to ebb and flow naturally. There’s not the same high speed, race to the finish you’d get from a good action movie. There’s no stop and start of side plots you get in TV genre shows. The best fic plot slides from big event to restful evening to frantic activity to shared meals and squabbles and back, and it gives equal time and attention and detail to each of these things.

Like @earlgreytea68 said, “There’s this huge obsession with plot, but lives don’t have plots. Lives just happen. We try to shape them into plots later, but that’s just this organizational fiction we’re imposing. Plot doesn’t have to be the raison d’etre of all story-telling, and fic reminds us of that.”

Fic plot moves at a pace similar to the life of whatever character it’s about. Not the other way around. There’s a fundamental difference in prioritization in fic.

I think this only adds to the case of ‘fic’ as its own, distinctive genre. Stylistic choices of writing that would never work in traditional, mainstream fiction novels work for novel-length fic. Fic adventures spend as much time fleshing out the little moments between romances and friendships as they do on that plot twist. The sleepy campground conversations are as important to the plot as the kidnapped princess, because that’s how the characters are going to grow together by the end of the story. It’s not a grace note, it’s not a side episode or an addition or a mention - it’s integral and equal.

That’s just accepted as fact by fic writers and readers. It’s expected without any particular mention. And it gives a very unique flavor and pace to fic that makes a lot of mainstream stories feel like stale, off-brand wonderbread. They are missing something regular fic readers take for granted (and it isn’t just the representational differences, because we all know that’s a whole different conversation). There’s a fundamental difference in how ‘fic’ is written, detailed, and paced that is built on its foundations as a ‘character driven’ genre.  

And it isn’t only action/adventure/mystery plots that have this difference in fic. Those ‘everybody’s human in today’s world’ AUs, those ‘friends to lovers’ slow burn stories have it too. They have a plot, but it’s the life - the grocery shopping, the dumb fights and sudden inescapable emotional blows, those moments of joy with that person you click with, managing work and family and seasons - that’s the whole plot on its own.

And that’s almost impossible to explain to someone who hasn’t really experienced fic as a genre, who’s used to traditional person A and person B work together/overcome differences/bond to accomplish X. In fic accomplishing X might be the beginning or the middle, not the end result of the story, and A & B continue to exist separate from X entirely. X is only relevant because of how it relates to A & B, not the other way around.

Fic is absolutely its own genre and it has a lot to do with plot. I’ve been calling this ‘organic plot’ in my head for months, because I knew something felt different about writing this way, how long fic plot ebbs and grows seemingly on its own sometimes. ‘Dual plot’ could be another option, maybe, though the character plot and life experience plots aren’t really separate. Inverted plot? Hm. I’m sure a good term will develop over time.

[earlgreytea68]

OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE THIS. 

I was always fond of saying, about my own fics, that my plots show up about two-thirds of the way through, because it takes me that long to figure out where I’m going, and then I would lol about it, because, ha, wouldn’t it be great if I organized it better. 

And now I read this and I’m like, WAIT. YES. THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING. IT’S BEEN HAPPENING ALL ALONG. I NEVER REALIZED IT. The idea that the primary importance is the throughline of the characters, and that’s what we’re following, and the plot is what’s dangling off the side of their story, that is SO IMPORTANT. You’re right, that usually we’re told as writers to construct stories from the plot outward. “Here are the beats your plot needs to hit, here’s the rising action to the climax to the falling action, now make sure your Character A makes this realization by Point X in order to get your plot into shape for Point Y to click in.” It’s *such* a plot-centric way to write and I am *terrible* at it. And I’ve always said, whenever I sit down to “outline” a story, like, How do you this? How do you know where the characters are going until they tell you where they’re going???

But it’s not that I’m “bad” at this, which is what I’ve always thought, it’s just that I’m coming at it from the opposite angle. I can’t plan the plot before the characters because I’m sticking close to the characters, and the traditional “plot” is secondary to whatever’s going to happen to them. And that’s not a wrong way of writing, it’s just a different way of writing. And it’s wrong of me to be thinking that my stories don’t get a “point” until they’re almost over. THEY’VE HAD THE POINT ALL ALONG. What happens when they’re almost over is that the characters come to where they’ve been going, and then the traditional “plot” is what helps shape the ending. The traditional “plot” becomes, to me, like that epilogue scene after the biggest explosion in an action movie, where you’re told the characters are going to be okay. I spend the entire movie telling you the characters are going to be okay, and then my epilogue scene is tacked on “oh, p.s., also they saved the day.” 

[i-writeandread-blog]

Halloween (originally a one shot) Chapter 1

This was published as a one shot through @echelonlab but I needed to make an edit to the characters name (as it was originally Cat, and we can’t have that, now can we? Lol) I will change the title once I can come up with something clever. I’m open to suggestions. Anyway, here’s the new updated version. Enjoy!

"Delilah, you have to come.  It's Jared Leto's party. You love him.  Just say yes.  I know it's last minute, but you can't turn down this once in a lifetime opportunity."  Angie pleaded with me.

My friend Angie had just moved to LA and somehow managed to get invited to Jared's Halloween party.  I couldn't figure out if she was just lucky or if somehow she stalked the right people.  She didn't care about Jared or his band, but she knows this is a dream come true for me.

"I can't figure out how you did it, Ang.  Of all the people, you get invited to my absolute favorite humans place.  But as much as I want to come, how could I? Flights are expensive when they're last minute and in case you didn't know, I'm not loaded with cash."  I proffered.

"Delilah, you get on a plane and you come and you meet your idol, I don't want to hear anymore excuses. Do you understand?" She isn't going to let me decline, if I don't show up she'll be mad enough to go months without talking to me. I have no choice. Scared as I am, I am going to LA and I can only hope I can be in the same room with Jared and not fangirl, faint, or make a complete fool of myself.

                                    -~~-

Three days later I found myself exiting LAX airport and into the most welcoming of weather and arms.  LA from what I could tell was going to be amazing at every vantage point.  Except maybe the few sketchy areas we drove past.  I was glad Angie's apartment was nowhere near those places.  My eyes were wide and I felt child-like taking it all in.

Angie had been an extra at the film studios back home and when she decided to take a chance and try for bigger things in LA, everyone, myself included, thought she was nuts.  But in the 5 months since she arrived she had already been cast in a tv pilot.  It was anyone's guess as to if it'd actually be picked up by a network, but she seemed to think it would.

Her apartment was the size of a shoebox, but it was in West Hollywood where she assured me was the "place to be."  We didn't stay there but to sleep, so it wasn't that cramped. The next two days we shopped for my Halloween costume and I finally found pieces that would make the perfect one, much to Angie's dismay.

                                   -~~-

"Today's the day! Are you excited?" Angie bounces on the bed.  "Go away. It's too early!" I begin throwing pillows at her head.  "Not a chance sweetheart, I didn't barter with the devil only to miss out on my favorite girl meeting her celebrity crush. Get. out. of. bed. now!" She is tenacious as ever.

I am nervous and anxious. Time feels like it will stand still, but I know it is just my imagination.

'What will I say to him if given the chance? How will I keep my cool? Will he even notice me?' A million questions and thoughts start running through my head.

"Oh for Heavens sake, get out of your head! Drink your coffee and start getting dressed. It's already 1 in the afternoon, thanks to your laziness. If I didn't know any better I would think you're trying to get out of going." Angie screamed. "I am not! I'm just scared. Look you go get ready and I will do the same." I say even though a part of what she said is right.

I lay out the tights, shorts, and vest of my costume on the couch as Angie showers. As soon as she is done, it's my turn. I work out all the kinks in my neck and let the water massage my tense muscles. I get out and begin the process of making myself into the silliest of characters.

"I don't get your costume.  It's so weird.  I don't think anyone will know what or who you are."  Angie says as she puts on her slutty Little Red Riding Hood outfit.  "Yes, but HE will know. That's all that matters.  Sorry I couldn't be cliché like you!" I joke. I put on my hat to finish the look and we leave.

We still have several hours before the party but she insists we go out already dressed.  We go to eat at a diner and then since we are in Hollywood I request some light sightseeing on Hollywood Blvd.  Some people stop and give me a puzzling look. I smile and offer no explanations. To my right I hear a child say "look mommy it's Robin Hood."  I have to laugh because I can see where they would think that's what I am.

Time rushes by and it's now 8'o clock so we make our way up into the winding streets of Hollywood Hills and to the Wonderland compound.  I get out of the car, blowing out a breath I am holding, grab my props and repeat a mantra in my head, 'I am here. This will change your life, let's do this!'

"Cmon. Let's go have some fun and meet some crazy rich celebrities!"  Angie grabs my arm and pulls. "Wait! I'm not ready!" The words rush out past my lips.

Angie is trying to get me moving by saying, "It's go time, the time is nigh, now or never."

"Do or die." I whisper.

"Huh? Yeah whatever. Let's just go in. If it becomes too much for you, just squeeze my arm and we will leave, okay?" I begin squeezing her arm. "Not now dork! Give it at least 20 minutes."

The music is louder the closer we get to the door, people are arriving in droves, but I don't recognize anyone yet. We walk in and follow everyone else towards what I think is where Jared recently did a private concert for radio winners.

I notice Jared instantly. He's standing in the shadows apparently aware of everyone around him, his eyes darting around, but he's talking with Jamie and Jordan and laughing. I look away feeling a pang of guilt for staring in the first place. I can't help but think he looks gorgeous in his Jon Snow getup.

Almost immediately I find myself separated from Angie. Panic starts to rise up and I try to calm myself with breathing in and out. I don't know anyone here aside from her. I turn toward the entrance we walked in from, then back to the other garage-like door which opens out to the pool. There's people everywhere. I look back to where Jared was, but he's not there anymore.

"Oh no no no." I blurt out. Then directly behind me I hear, "I'm the only Bart Cubbins in this house." It's Jared's unmistakable voice. I gulp.

I turn to find myself face to face with Jared. My breathing hitches in my throat.  He gives me a sly smile and licks his lips.  I'm fairly certain I am going to pass out.  He stands back and gives me a once over look.  "This is perfection! I don't know why I didn't think of this."

I curtsy and almost immediately regret it. "It was the only thing I could think of to wear once I found these hats at a costume shop.  But I could never try to be the real Bart Cubbins." I explain to him. "Oh I don't know about that! Looks pretty spot on to me.  I'm Jared." He offers his hand.

Of course he has to know that I'm aware of who he is, after-all it is his party, but even if there were questions as to whether or not I knew it was his party and in fact him, the mere fact that I am dressed as his favorite Dr. Seuss character should be a good indicator.

"I'm Delilah. It's nice to meet you Jared." I shake his hand.  "Delilah, how did you come to be at my party? I don't recognize you?"  I begin to freak out. 'Am I not meant to be here? I'm gonna kill Angie!' The look of panic must be evident on my face because Jared laughs and says, "don't worry, I'm not kicking you out or anything, just didn't know why I've never had the pleasure of meeting you before."

"Im umm..." My throat is dry and I look around to see where the drinks in people's hands are coming from.  Jared notices.  "How about I get you a drink and we go sit somewhere quieter where we can talk?"  As much as I'd like to take him up on his offer I wouldn't dare dream on acting upon it.  "No, I don't want to take you away from your party and your friends."  He shakes his head, not letting me say no.

He leans in close.  "I'll tell you a secret, half the people here I don't like.  The other half are either friends or employees who won't even miss me if I leave."  I can't believe what he is saying.  Under different circumstances I would miss him if he left the room.  "Come.  I'll give you the grand tour."  He takes my hand and leads me into the house.  I notice several eyes on me as we make our exit.  He really has no idea how wrong he is about being missed.  Or I'm wrong and the people staring are looking for gossip fodder.

We enter the kitchen and he asks if I would like something to eat.  I shake my head no.  I'd throw up instantly from all the bundled up nerves inside of me going crazy.  He hands me a glass and asks what I would like to drink.  I tell him water to which he replies, "you're at a party, live a little." I think about it for a second.  "You don't drink, and you're at a party."  He steps back closing the fridge. "Touché. But I think you need some lubrication, you're too stiff."  He emphasizes the words lubrication and stiff.  It almost makes it sound sexual.  "Okay, I'll have whatever you think I should have, you're the boss."  He quickly makes up a gin and tonic and hands it to me.  I swallow it down quickly.  The corners of his lips curl up.  "I'll have another please, less tonic though."  He makes the 2nd one and then guides me to the next room of the complex.

There are a few people scattered around but as if they know something I don't, they scurry off as soon as we walk into each room.  He points out the living room, some office space, and a bathroom.  Then we go back to the stairs and I follow him up watching his ass the entire time.

"I feel your eyes on me little girl, do you like what you see?"  I blush.  "Yeah, it's quite the view." I reply.  The alcohol has opened up my self confidence, otherwise I'd have never said that aloud.

He turns around quickly and looks me over once again, almost as if he's seeing me for the first time. Or maybe he is undressing me with his eyes. I can't handle it so I keep walking past him.

"Mmm, now I have a nice view." He states matter of fact once I'm in front of him. As soon as we both reach the top of the stairs he pushes me against the wall. He's much stronger than I think anyone gives him credit for. "What's going on inside of your head?" He asks while tilting his head this way and that. "You're quiet now, what happened to the bold little girl from 30 seconds ago?" I giggle. "Oh for fucks sake, it's just a number." But I'm still giggling. He releases me and opens a door to the right of us.

"This is a guest room." I peek in and see a bed and some artwork.  He closes the door and steps across the hallway. "This is my moms room when she comes." He points to a door but doesn't open it. And then he walks a few steps and opens another door and shows me the upstairs guest bathroom. Directly across from the bathroom door is another room and down the hall at the end is one more door. He opens the door next to the guest room and walks in.

"This is my bedroom. Come in, I'll show you the view." I walk in and see his bed made up in white linen. There's a door on one side of his bed leading to a closet which he opens. I see flashes of color everywhere I look and can tell most of it is designer, and almost all is Gucci.

"What's the other door down the hall lead to?" I ask since this appears to be our last stop. "Ohh that's just storage." I let it go because he clearly didn't want me to know what it could be, but I couldn't help but wonder why there was a light on in there. It was hardly visible through the crack in the door, maybe a lamp was on.

"Well, I'm impressed Jared. It's very nice. But why am I getting to see all of this?" I can't help but wonder how I became so lucky.

"You wear a costume to a party I am hosting-that only I would know what you are dressed as, and you didn't think my curiosity would be peaked?"

"I wore this yes because it was your party, but also because I didn't want to be like everyone else. I'm not made for wearing sexy nurse costumes." He starts laughing at my revelation. "Oh Delilah, you are most definitely made for sexy nurse or sexy anything costumes. You don't even realize how sexy you are. Even dressed this ridiculously." He reaches towards my head and takes the hat and wig off. He takes off the cape he is wearing and sits down on the bed.

"Sit down with me. I want to know more about you. Who is Delilah?" He slides back towards the headboard and pats the empty space next to him. I sit down but just on the edge, not sure how comfortable I should get, but he grabs me by the waist and guides me back. "So?"

"Well I lead a fairly boring existence, I don't want to disappoint you. Let's talk about something else." I can tell this wasn't the right answer so I continue, "okay well let's see. I am 32, I started an online store about two years ago selling homemade candles, incense, and soaps. Umm, I have a dog named Sorcia- you know from the movie Willow..." he nods. "I just bought a condo in Myrtle Beach, SC. Nothing special." Then I mumble almost inaudibly, "oh I also have a twin who I killed. Anyways, what about you."

Jared shakes his head and laughs. My face however remains deadpanned. "Wait that last bit... it's true?"

"Yeah, so anyway your turn." I try to change the subject.  I don't even know why I felt comfortable opening up and telling him that.

"Oh no, you don't get off that lightly.  What the fuck do you mean you killed your twin sister?"  He stands up and walks towards the window which overlooks the pool.  "Should I be worried, should I kick you out?"

"No, Jared. I'm not a psychopath, I'm not crazy, I don't even know why I told you."  I stand up and walk towards the door, but somehow even though he was further away he catches me and stops me.  His eyes are glaring at me and daring me to tell him more.  "Okay, I'll tell you the whole story.  You're gonna want to sit for this." He sits back down at the foot of the bed as I begin my story, pacing back and forth.

"Three years ago my twin Penelope was in an accident.  Somehow she survived but she was changed.  Like a switch in her brain had been triggered.  She became depressed and angry.  Then that turned into doing really odd things.  She'd offer people things, like for instance, my aunt had come over and she asked if she wanted ice cream... after she ate it my sister laughed and said she had poisoned it.  Or she'd bring people a book but the pages would be torn out.  Just really weird and vile things.  She just wasn't the same.  After months of doctors not knowing what was wrong and being tormented by her we thought it best to send her away.  Before we could she attacked me."  I show him the scar on my stomach where she had stabbed me.  His eyes go wide.  "She said I would never put her away, never separate us.  She intended I think to kill me and then herself.  I don't know how I overpowered her, but I did.  I got the knife and stabbed her several times.  I couldn't believe what I had done and I was so scared.  I had an anxiety attack and blacked out.  When I woke up there was so much blood.  Her body wasn't there, but when the cops came they said no one would survive that amount of blood loss.  They searched the woods and followed a trail of blood.  It ended at one point or another, but they never found her body.  They figured an animal must have found her and dragged her body away.  They thought maybe a bear.  Oh God, this is the worst thing I have ever done and no one here in LA apart from my friend downstairs knows this.  I'm so sorry Jared.  I'll leave now."  Jared rubs his hands up and down his thighs and shakes his head no.

"No, I don't want you to leave.  You're so brave.  Thanks for telling me.  We all have hidden skeletons in our closets.  You weren't charged with a crime, were you?"

"No, the police said it was in self defense."  I explained.

"You're hardly a murderer, Delilah.  You're a survivor and to me that is the hottest thing about you."  He stands up and closes the distance between us.  He stares into my eyes asking for permission and then crashes his lips on mine.  The room instantly goes from ice cold to boiling.  His hands are wrapped in my hair and he stops only long enough to take a breath, until we hear a noise.

It's coming from the room he said was just storage.  It sounded like something fell, maybe a box.  He laughs nervously and then leans forward to attack my lips again with his, but then there's another noise and it sounds like footsteps.  Annoyed he steps back and says, "hold on, someone from the party must have come upstairs.  Let me go tell them to fuck off and leave, okay?"  I agree and sit down on the bed.

He walks out.  I try to catch my breath.  I bring my fingers up to my lips and smile.  It was everything I'd have ever hoped and imagined.  My thoughts were broken when I heard a scream followed by Jared saying "what the hell is this? Who the hell are you?" And then another scream, a scuffle, and footsteps running towards his bedroom door.  The last thing I hear before the door opens is Jared yelling, "Delilah , run!"

[i-writeandread-blog]

From where I’m standing, I realize... it was never about my view, but rather it was my viewpoint. I thought, I wasn’t any good... therefore I wasn’t. But I’ve come to realize in the last 2 days, that I am meant to write. I truly appreciate every one of you that reads what I always thought was bad. You have pushed me to want to write more, and I thank you all. My scenery may change in the future, but I’ll always remember that this was where I was when I realized my potential. ❤️