Train Wreck of Thoughts

She/her | absolutely no clue what I’m doing

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Yes, I may love Remus Lupin with all my heart, but even I can admit that no one’s perfect (but he is), and that everyone has faults and makes mistakes (he’s never done anything wrong in his life)

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Marauders incorrect quotes as things me, my family and friends have said part 30

•Lily, sleep deprived: “Did you know that Friday wasn’t Thursday?”

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•Peter: “Wow, smarty pants. I wish I skipped a grade. Wait, no, I wish I failed a grade.”

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•James: “It’s a pretty new building, Hogwarts.”

Lily: “Yeah, if you compare it to the ancient wonders of the world.”

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•Marlene: “You look at Sirius and you’re like, yeah, that’s a white man. You look at Remus and it’s like, hmm, there might be a bit of spice.”

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•Walburga: “Stop cussing!”

Sirius, as a kid: “I’m not f***ing cussing!”

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•James: “Happy Father’s Day!”

Fleamont: “Thank you! I couldn’t have done it without you.”

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So, my brother and sister-in-law are expecting a baby soon and are being secretive about the name. Which, I have no problems with of course, it’s their business what they want to name their kid, not anyone else’s. But then my brother sent this in the family group chat and I’m dying 😆 what a goober

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Did I just do something?

Is-is this Lily Evans core?

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Aahhhh! I’m about to see The Great Gatsby on Broadway, and it has both Reeve Carney AND Eva Noblezada! Literally my two favourite Broadway stars (I’m a huge Hadestown fan) I’m actually going to DIE

Edit: Oh my gosh it was SOOO good! Aaaah! After Reeve Carney and Eva Noblezada stopped playing in Hadestown, I thought that I’d never get the chance to see them sing together. Dream come true! They were incredible, I love them so much

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I just know that in some Marauders universe somewhere, James and Peter constantly tease Remus around the full moon like “It’s Remus’ time of the month! He needs his Pads!”

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I’m pretty 98% sure that this happened at some point in Season 4-5

Will: “It’s not gay if I want to date Mike, but as bros, right?”

Lucas: “I’m not an expert, but I’m pretty sure that’s gay.”

Robin, eating chips in the corner: “I’m an expert. That’s gay.”

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Sanders Sides incorrect quotes as things me, my family and friends have said part 2

•Remus: “I guess I just have one of those faces people see in their nightmares.”

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•Remus: “Random question: if we were robbing a bank, what role would you play?”

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•*On New Year’s Eve*

Roman: “5, 6, 7, 8!”

Roman: *starts loudly banging pots and pans with chopsticks*

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Logan: “How would you do in a psych ward?”

Remus, deadpan, with zero hesitation: “I would rule it.”

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•C!Thomas: “We need more variety in our meals.”

Logan: “Well, you could try buying a variety of foods when you go shopping.”

C!Thomas: “I’m trying!”

Logan: “Different types of pasta doesn’t count.”

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Roman: “What are they gonna do, come tow us? We can just drive away.”

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Sanders Sides incorrect quotes as things me, my family and friends have said part 1

•Remus motioning to the last piece of cake: “Are you sure you don't want any?”

Roman, who had seen Remus microwave it: “I don't want your ROOM TEMPERATURE cake!”

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•C!Thomas: “I've always wondered: what makes olive oil ‘extra virgin’?”

Logan: “It has never been known by any man.”

Roman: “It hasn't even seen a man.”

Virgil: “Because no man has ever seen a kitchen.”

Patton: “…What ???”

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•Remus: “Hi! I'm Remus Sanders, I'm from Florida, and my favourite writing utensil is chapstick.”

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•Logan (to Roman, about Remus): “Sit next to him, he doesn’t bite.”

Roman: “Yes he does.”

Remus: “Yes I do.” *makes growling sounds*

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•Janus (to Remus): “You just screamed in his ear. That’s not how you greet people. You say ‘hello.’ ”

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•Virgil: “Is there even anything British in the British Museum?”

Logan: “Sure, the workers.”

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Happy ultimate Cinco de Mayo, hope everyone had tacos 🇲🇽🌮

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Marauders incorrect quotes as things me, my family and friends have said part 29

•Sirius: “Moonbeam, I will give you one congratulations if you can correctly guess the three cereals that I currently possess.”

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•James: “Sometimes I wish that falling asleep was as quick and easy as it is in Minecraft. You just right-click the bed, and you’re out.”

Sirius: “Steve doesn’t even need to sleep. It’s optional.”

James: “Like your mom.”

Sirius: “New lore just dropped: Steve is bipolar.”

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•Remus: “Do you think maybe-”

Sirius: “That I’m a Pisces? Nope! I’m a labrador!” *tries to do a cartwheel*

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•Peter (to James): “You look like you play badminton.”

James: “You look like a sumo wrestler.”

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•Lily (after seeing James and Sirius jokingly insult each other): “I’ve only taken one semester of psychology, but this seems like an abusive relationship.”

James: “Yup.”

Sirius: “My dad’s a therapist. Squirrelly fetcher.”

James: “He’s a real good one, huh?”

*James and Sirius start laughing *

Lily: “… 🤨”

Remus: “…There’s a lot to unpack there-”

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•Remus: *explains the Mari Lwyd tradition*

James: “You cannot come into my house, it is infested with a mouse.”

Sirius: “Let me in, I’m thirsty for some gin.”

**(I only know the Mari Lwyd tradition because I’m a quarter Welsh and my grandmother told me about it. You can read a bit about it here:

https://museum.wales/blog/1187/Christmas-Traditions-The-Mari-Lwyd/

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So, I was listening to Fall Out Boy’s album Mania (as one does), and, hear me out:

The Last of the Real Ones = Jily

HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T = Rosekiller

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) = Wolfstar

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Marauders incorrect quotes as things me, my family and friends have said part 28

•James: “Hang on, I’m the MASHter! Padfoot, can I grab some parchment?”

Sirius: “Yeah, go for it.”

James: “Yes! Moony, pick some names-”

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•Peter: “What’s your favourite colour?”

Sirius: “I’m glad you asked! I was abused as a child-”

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•Sirius: “I was born with a full head of hair.”

Remus: “How does it feel to be God’s favourite?”

Sirius: “Pretty nice, actually.”

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•James: “He doesn’t love my love!”

Regulus: “No, I just don’t like physical touch.”

James: “That’s how I show my love!”

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•Lily (about James and Sirius): “I’ve seen them hold hands under the table during Transfiguration multiple times.”

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•Mary: “I call my anxiety ‘The Inconvenience.’ That way, the whole thing has a name, and you can kind of laugh at it. That’s what my therapist told me to do.”

Marlene: “My therapist told me to cheat on my boyfriend-”

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Marauders incorrect quotes as things me, my family and friends have said part 27

•Sirius, telling a story: “Oh, he wants to play like that? I’ll go over with a baseball bat and break his legs. The cop’s like, ‘well, you’ll be in jail, and his legs will heal.’ Who said I was gonna stop at his legs?”

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•Sirius or James: “Luckily, I’m an apex dancer.”

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•Remus: “James is great. A delusional optimist sometimes, but-”

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•Marlene: “You’re about to witness one of the jankiest things I’ve ever done.”

Lily and Mary: “What are you about to do?”

Marlene: “I’m going to make a grilled cheese sandwich in a pot.”

-Later-

Marlene: “Wait, how am I supposed to flip it? Hmm. Maybe there’s a reason I haven’t done it like this before.”

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•Sirius: “I need words of affirmation or I’m going to explode-”

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•Sirius, explaining how to roll your Rs in French: “Choke yourself, then try to breathe.”

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Marauders incorrect quotes as things me, my family and friends have said part 26

•Lily, trimming her hair in the bathroom to give herself layers: “God gave me wavy hair because He knew I would do this.”

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•James: “How would you do in a psych ward?”

Regulus: “I would rule it.”

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•Remus: “He’ll get us all killed like it’s 50 below!”

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•Mary: “Some guys seriously act like their truck is their baby. Like, if their truck gets wrecked, they’re gonna pick that over their wife.”

Marlene: “Your truck might not be able to leave you, but I will.”

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•Remus: “Antidiuretic hormone. ADH.”

James: “That’s what I have!”

Sirius: “Close, but no cigar.”

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•Sirius: “It’s a filter. I look beautiful.”

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Marauders incorrect quotes as things me, my family and friends have said part 25

•Marlene: “I know a guy who got in a climbing accident, and he held onto the rope so hard that he burned his fingerprints off.”

Lily: “So, what crimes is he gonna commit?”

Marlene, with zero hesitation: “Probably arson.”

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•Remus: “Hey Shawty, you wanna, like, hey each other’s emails sometime?”

Sirius: “That would not work.”

Remus: “How wouldn’t that work??!?”

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•Sirius, excitedly: “Can I colour on the toaster?”

Remus: “…I’m gonna need that marker back-”

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•Marlene: “Random question: if we were robbing a bank, what role would you play?”

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•Sirius, ranting: “He blocked me on Pinterest! Instagram, Snapchat, gmail, and Pinterest.”

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•*On New Year’s Eve*

Sirius: “5, 6, 7, 8!”

Sirius: *starts loudly banging pots and pans with chopsticks*

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Marauders incorrect quotes as things me, my family and friends have said part 24

•James, after running his rolly chair into a desk: “No officer, I have not been drinking-”

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•James and Sirius: *arguing*

Peter: “Ladies, ladies! You’re both ugly.”

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•Professor McGonagall: “When you talk with your hands, it’s called gesticulation.”

Sirius, snickering: “When then I guess I have gesticular cancer.”

Professor McGonagall, pointing to the door: “Out. Leave.” *hiding a grin*

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•James (to Peter): “Sit next to Sirius, he doesn’t bite.”

Peter: “Yes he does.”

Sirius: “Yes I do.” *makes growling sounds*

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•*Lily and Remus waiting outside*

Lily: “Why do James and Sirius always take so long?”

Remus: *exasperated sigh*

Remus: “Sirius is probably pampering himself. He’s a pretty boy.”