Fuck.

efficiently flopping since 1999

[bintro]

[captainjonnitkessler]

When I fail to remember a login password I don't need them to provide me with a "forgot your password?" link, I need them to provide me with a list of their password requirements so I can remember what hoops I had to jump through to modify my normal password to meet their inane requirements

[itsdappleagain]

jesus no

[maximumzombiecreator]

The nurse who prescribes my HRT is great, zero complaints, but he can put the ball a little too in-my-court. In my most recent checkup we were talking about adjusting my dose, and he asked what dosage I wanted, and like, that's not a question I am qualified to answer, my guy.

So I said, "My ideal dose is basically that I'm holding an erlenmeyer flask of pure estrogen and someone offscreen yells, 'Doctor, you can't!' and I say, 'Just watch me!' and then I drink it and contort violently around and then fall out of frame and when I pop back into frame I'm played by Anne Hathaway."

And he didn't give me that dose but he did up it, so, like I said, zero complaints.

[anxietyproblem]

Let me sleep.

[cetitanhasmoved]

[ionchy]

[tastefullyoffensive]

👻 @uberjnet

[iamthefuckness]

so youtube figured out i was gay a long time ago, but i learnt a funny thing about the "most rewatched" feature recently because of it. it tells you exactly where in a wrestling video you can best see the players🍆🍒 without fail. comment section is very serious about wrestling but that mark tells a different story about the viewers...

[ultrafacts]

[frocio]

i love it when italians argue about italian. like we don’t even know how our language really works we just roll with it

[frocio]

[iphisesque]

Italian is 107 different provincial languages stuck together with spit and half a prayer

[frogcoded]

My bf lives in another region and we are constantly arguing about regional variations of words and we both live in the fucking north of Italy

[putaemo-cional]

one time i saw a map of italy but instead of cities and roads etc it was just covered w different ways you can say the word vagina. it was covered

[frocio]

oh I can think of at least seven ways to say the word vagina right off the top of my head rn. I can’t imagine what I could do if I tried harder

[criptochecca]

Fjgkahfmangksoajufnajejgnanfjakirjvjjs

[fishbizkit]

this is the Italian Vagina Map, reblog to… I’m not sure actually. Can’t hurt though. 

[cannot-think-of-a-cute-name]

reblog to Italian season your pussy

[newrider]

[wamscoastsmoker]

IT’S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

[notsocialphobixanymorelmao-deac]

I T S T H E M I D D L E O F J U N E

[wamscoastsmoker]

I T I S H A L L O W E E N T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y

[pwhyxco]

ok who the fuck got this on my dash it’s still june

[wamscoastsmoker]

get spooky

[theotherdibbles]

isn’t this from the shake it off music video

[falsegod]

[christianstepmoms]

In a world of convenience and e-dispensers, my university’s food court has a ketchup bowl

[christianstepmoms]

I posted this well over 7 years ago why and how the hell is this making rounds now

[vintar]

i had a meet n greet with the anaesthesiologist for my top surgery and he said it’s his favourite procedure to work on because everyone who wants it is just so truly happy to be there, and i can’t stop thinking about this career that is 99% attending to various sadnesses miseries and woes and 1% having funny little dudes in dangerfield buttonups throwing themselves on the operating table like YEEHAW LET’S GOOOO

[jhscdood]

as the anesthesiologist was wheeling me into the OR, i grabbed the nurse’s hand as we passed her, and i said, “I’LL BE RIGHT BACK, I’VE GOT TO GET SOMETHING OFF MY CHEST.”

my journey to the OR was temporarily delayed because said anesthesiologist was bent at the waist, in hysterics, and took several minutes to collect himself.

[dduane]

All the best comedy is timing, timing, timing.  :)

[theinformationcollector]

TIL In 1926 the famous pianist Fats Waller (then 21) was kidnapped by Al Capone’s gang to play piano for his birthday. He basically went missing for 3 days and was returned unharmed but drunk.

via reddit.com

[urbanfantasyinspiration]

What this headline leaves out is that they kidnapped him by doing the standard mob thing of driving a car up, pointing a gun at him, and saying “get in”. Fats thought he was gonna be killed until Al told him he was a huge fan

[gaynfl-moved]

[heroineimages]

Unharmed, heavily intoxicated, and I believe something like $1,500 wealthier.

[holycowboybatman]

Nonono we don’t get to ignore what was just said prior. What the fuck DO YOU MEAN THE OPPOSITE OF YOUR MOTHER SELLING YOU TO ONE DIRECTION????!

[nitewrighter]

so easily we forget the lore of our forefathers.

[mariakono]

cannot stop thinking about the guy who claimed that the husky dog from the thing had his tail CGI’d out because it was wagging

at a time where CGI looked like absolute fucking shit

[melia-antifa-archive-deactivate]

Minor correction: Jed wasn’t a husky, he was a malamute and wolf mix, which some believe attributed to his rather unnatural behavior in The Thing, such as, again, not wagging his tail.

However, we can see in other movies he’s in, where he plays non-antagonistic roles, like in White Fang, how he can also be a total sweetie when needed.

So what’s up with this wolfdog? Well, certainly not CG, because as you said, CG fucking sucked in the ‘80s… it really is just that Jed was a very good actor.

People who have worked with Jed have said that he had an almost human-like understanding of what he needed to do in scenes, and we can truly see as much on the screen; he sold his performance as the titular Thing in that movie, in a way that I honestly doubt many other animal actors could.

Was it because he was part wolf? I don’t think we’ll ever really know, I think his wolf lineage definitely contributed to his rather un-dog-like behaviors, but I wouldn’t say that’s the only thing that made him so talented; after all, such props should still go to the trainers that worked with him over the years! But it’s also alleged that Jed didn’t really need to be given commands very often, because, again, it was as if he perfectly understood what he needed to do.

But anyway, the point here is… no CGI! Just one very talented animal actor, who absolutely deserved to receive awards for his role in The Thing. We love Jed. :)

[comicallymajestic]

Also to add- CG wasn’t just bad in the 80′s, it was barely in its infancy. CGI at the time was not capable of rendering things like tails, it was being used for stuff like this;

This is from 1977, 5 years before “The Thing” released, and this was the best CGI anyone had EVER made at that time. The original Star Wars was on the cutting edge of cutting edge, and THIS was all they could muster. Digitally erasing and replacing a dog’s wagging tail wouldn’t have been possible in the early 80′s. 

[mama-germany]

Yknow what. I’m just gonna say it.

It’s about time we have a fictional princess who actually enjoys being a princess.

She enjoys the politics. She enjoys the diplomacy. And she enjoys the balls and banquets and attention and pretty dresses and that doesn’t make her a dumb shallow bimbo or some regressive anti feminist handmaid or whatever the kids say these days about women who don’t fall in line with their Strong Female Character power fantasies.

All the princesses urging for ‘something more’ that’s all fine and good but I’m ready to see a princess who appreciates that being a princess is already a lot!

[almost-john-work-deactivated202]

Honestly I’m also down with a princess who understands that not getting to, like, freely pick your husband is part of the deal. You get to eat essentially as much as you like, are filthy rich, and, even if you live in a male-line-only type of monarchy, you have the ear of the ruler of the country, who’s either your father or your husband. Your literally one of the top five most powerful people in the nation in any constellation. The only people who officially outrank you are your parents - who will die eventually - your husband, and possibly the equivalent of the pope. Have some bloody gratitude, you know?

Also your proposal would make for a dope story because doing politics and diplomacy was what being a noble lady was all about, and the “ugh I have to dress up pretty for the male nobles who are slobbering all over my hand when greeting me and no one takes me seriously because I’m a woman” was, like, never true in at the very least European monarchies. Not sure about other countries. I know the Chinese Empress and Mother of the Emperor were a huge deal, at least, but that might have just been those two, not noble women in general.

[mama-germany]

Exactly. Like surely there were some princesses under very oppressive circumstances but the vast majority had access to some of the best education available at the time, weren’t dying of starvation or cold, wearing the best crafted garments available, and yeah had a lot more influence than people today give them credit for.

[luna-drinker]

Princess: "Oh I wish I was born a commoner so I could do as I please and marry for love."

Peasant girls who can't do either:

[mama-germany]

Make this a 40k post then, I’m not a coward

[speakswords]

Alright this is rly sad but here goes. I started doing my once-in-awhile bot purge from my followers list. And. I used to be able to just quickly scan and see the bots. They were the ones with default icons and generator-sounding names like "noun-girl-827". And if you weren't sure, you could click on the blog and it would be immediately obvious it was a bot because there's either just bad porn click bait, or nothing there.

Well. This time I had to give up immediately because I got like ten followers down the list and was having immense trouble figuring out who's a bot and who's real. Never ever used to see this but like 5/10 of the first few followers I checked on had just totally empty blogs. It wasn't until I'd already blocked 2 - assuming bots bc empty blogs - that I thought to check if they had any likes. And bam! There it was. All of their user activity.

We have people on this website now who have never reblogged a single post.

Y'all, I'm sure you're sick of seeing "you have to reblog thing" but you literally have to reblog things. That is how this website works. You understand that, right? How do you think the post you hit "like" on got in front of you? It wasn't because you liked enough things and Tumblrs algorithm figured out what you like enough to hand it to you. It's because you followed someone, a human person, who reblogged that post. And it came from another person who also reblogged it.

You are killing this website by refusing to interact with it in the way that makes it better than the other websites you ran from to come here.

Anyway, I'm sure you're all nice people, but I'm not going to play the "bot or not" game if you have an empty blog I'm going to block you.

[wonderful-emoji]

PSA for newer users

[ptowzapotato]

And if you don't want to add anything to the post, simply hold down the reblog button and slide your finger to your pfp (that should've just popped up).