hello

hello im aradia and i work in a funeral home if that is too strange for you i must apologize for it's simply who i am. although others might just call me a crazy bitch

[iamthetruedarklord]

apocalypseArisen [AA] is online.

AA: when was i last 0n tumblr

AA: i d0nt think it matters actually 

AA: because ive been s0 busy but im here n0w

AA: with the bunny that is still unnamed 

AA: 0n0

[caligulasampora-deactivated2014]

Monday Mishaps

[caligulasampora-deactivated2014]

Noticing the girl’s tense shoulders, Eridan’s mouth snapped shut, causing a sharp sting as his teeth bit hard on his tongue. Holding back a yelp, he swallowed hard, trying in vain to catch another glimpse at the stranger. Something about her unnerved him, to say the least. What little he had seen of her face was more than enough to make a lasting impression. Under her gaze, Eridan had felt the heat of hate, something that was all too rare to find in an environment where most people just gave him a weary look. Overall, it just gave him the sense that she would enjoy his death if it were to occur.

It was admirable, oddly enough. It wasn’t every day someone was more pissed than he was, even when he was at his calmest.

Making a swift decision to find out more, Eridan slowly knelt down beside the girl. His features quickly rearranged into his typical confident mask, though his typical scowl was banished in the hopes to impress. He grabbed one of the many loose papers on the floor, slowly smoothing it out on one knee.

"So," Eridan began, dragging out the syllable in time with the paper, "what’s a girl like you doin’ ‘round here? ‘Cause I would’ve remembered such a pretty face if I’d seen it before."

[iamthetruedarklord]

Naturally, her wide eyes and dazed or insane appearance had the tendency of scaring people off, and she wasn't surprised when she glanced up between her lashes to notice that yes, he was staring at her with a mild expression of fear, and yes, he seemed to be surprised at the immense amounts of hate radiating off of her. She didn't mean to come off like that, oh no. The irritation was just...overflowing at this point. She couldn't help it; it was like trying to stop the rain from falling. 

Underneath the faint fear, however, there was something like...admiration? Wonder, maybe, but honestly, at the moment she couldn't care too much. All she wanted was to get her books together and be able to head class without wasting too much time. There were only a few minutes left to the bell, after all, and if she were to be late there was no telling what she was going to do. When it seemed like things were looking up, and she had gathered her things, she noted that she was missing one paper. A paper that, unfortunately, was being smoothed out on the knee of the reason she had fallen over, and suddenly she was being hit on.

Wow.

"I go to school here," she said flatly. Where was he even expecting to go with this?

[iamthetruedarklord]

apocalypseArisen [AA] has changed their mood to MELANCHOLY!

[iamthetruedarklord]

Upon hearing his words, he only succeeded in making her laugh even more hysterically, if that was even possible. Minutes passed until she managed to compose herself, and she tucked her legs under her from her position on the floor, wiping away tears of mirth from her eyes. 

"That was hilarious and probably the most interesting thing that happened to you all day, and all I get in return is a fuck you? Wow, Sollux. We really need to work on your people skills."

[programminggemini-deactivated20]

Damn was this floor comfortable, but do you know what wasn’t comfortable though? Aradia continuing with her fucking snark.

Sollux gave an eye roll, “Who needth people when there are computerth, though. At leatht they don’t give me thhit for not thleeping like thome people.” He moved slightly into a more pleasant position on the floor, “And really? Motht interethting thing, it’th more like the motht likely event to make have a fucking aneurythm.”

[iamthetruedarklord]

"Forcing aneurysms, interesting things, same thing!!" She said, shuffling over next to him and the fallen chair on the floor then taking up the spot next to him, falling flat on her back. "Especially when it comes to you." Aradia nudged his leg with her knee, gaze flickering from his face then back up to the ceiling.

[iamthetruedarklord]

apocalypseArisen [AA] has changed their mood to MELANCHOLY!

[programminggemini-deactivated20]

"That’th it I fucking give up do what you want. God dammit, AA." He held his palm to his face, not paying any attention to Aradia anymore. He meant he was done and now all he had to wait for was his computer being disconnected or her walking out, knowing it would likely end with it being disconnected. Fuck.

[iamthetruedarklord]

She reared back to make it look like she was going to pull the plug, the metal barely still in, the plug wobbling in the outlet, unbalanced…

Then pushed it firmly back inside and redirected her attention and foot to the base of Sollux’s chair, successfully knocking both it and him over. Suavely, of course! A good adventuress is nothing but that, at all times!

Honestly, she would’ve said something at this point, but she could barely breathe because she was laughing so hard.

[programminggemini-deactivated20]

The sudden impact with the floor left Sollux disgruntled. This was her plan seriously? He doesn’t moving from the position in which he landed, simply because he just didn’t give a shit at this point. Staring up at the ceiling he let out a long sigh then spoke, “Fuck you too, AA.” 

[iamthetruedarklord]

Upon hearing his words, he only succeeded in making her laugh even more hysterically, if that was even possible. Minutes passed until she managed to compose herself, and she tucked her legs under her from her position on the floor, wiping away tears of mirth from her eyes. 

"That was hilarious and probably the most interesting thing that happened to you all day, and all I get in return is a fuck you? Wow, Sollux. We really need to work on your people skills."

[iamthetruedarklord]

apocalypseArisen [AA] has changed their mood to MELANCHOLY!

[programminggemini-deactivated20]

His face quickly grew red in color, this is not some fucking game, IT WASN’T ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. He glared at Aradia, growing more angry with this entire situation, “Can we jutht thtop thith stupid little fucking game. Ith’th not funny dammit.” Bullshit. This is all fucking bullshit, how did this even start playing out anyways?

[iamthetruedarklord]

Her free hand slipped out over her mouth, stifling the loud laughter that left her at the sight of Sollux’s bright red face. “Oh my gosh, I—” Aradia bit her lip to stifle any and all laughter but only succeeding to a certain extent. Hehe. She wiggled the plug, still not pulling it out all the way. “Hmhmhmhm…I don’t knoooow…”

[programminggemini-deactivated20]

"That’th it I fucking give up do what you want. God dammit, AA." He held his palm to his face, not paying any attention to Aradia anymore. He meant he was done and now all he had to wait for was his computer being disconnected or her walking out, knowing it would likely end with it being disconnected. Fuck.

[iamthetruedarklord]

She reared back to make it look like she was going to pull the plug, the metal barely still in, the plug wobbling in the outlet, unbalanced...

Then pushed it firmly back inside and redirected her attention and foot to the base of Sollux's chair, successfully knocking both it and him over. Suavely, of course! A good adventuress is nothing but that, at all times!

Honestly, she would've said something at this point, but she could barely breathe because she was laughing so hard.

[iamthetruedarklord]

apocalypseArisen [AA] has changed their mood to MELANCHOLY!

[programminggemini-deactivated20]

"You fucking wouldn’t, don’t even think about it i’m working." He spoke through gritted teeth, he wanted to fucking kill. HELL, he would kill her if she unplugged it. Her hand kept playing around the plug, that was enough, "ARADIA FUCKING MEGIDO DON’T IT."

[iamthetruedarklord]

"Sollux Daniel Captor." She mimicked back in the same tone of voice, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. She twirled the wire around her fingers, loosening the plug ever so slightly but not even enough to shut off the screen.

[programminggemini-deactivated20]

His face quickly grew red in color, this is not some fucking game, IT WASN’T ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. He glared at Aradia, growing more angry with this entire situation, “Can we jutht thtop thith stupid little fucking game. Ith’th not funny dammit.” Bullshit. This is all fucking bullshit, how did this even start playing out anyways?

[iamthetruedarklord]

Her free hand slipped out over her mouth, stifling the loud laughter that left her at the sight of Sollux's bright red face. "Oh my gosh, I--" Aradia bit her lip to stifle any and all laughter but only succeeding to a certain extent. Hehe. She wiggled the plug, still not pulling it out all the way. "Hmhmhmhm...I don't knoooow..."

[horsesandrobots]

Dead Red Roses | Closed Thread (iamthetruedarklord)

Equius was glad he had gotten his job back after being absent for so long. The manager was very understanding, even offered to let him have more time off, but Equius refused. The shop had an odd calming feeling to him, and the work, although sometimes menial, helped him keep his mind clear.

That day he had been the only employee in the front of the shop, his partner having gone in the back to restock and take inventory. It was a very slow day, though most days were in a small floral shop, and Equius was enjoying a small bouquet that he had arranged earlier that day, and slightly moved one flower here, another there, though always being careful to avoid damaging the flowers. He was able to be surprisingly gentle when he wished to be.

He had been so entranced that he was caught completely by surprised when the bell rang, signifying somebody had walked in through the front door. Quickly straightening up, he greeted the customer.

"Hello, good afternoon. May I help you?"

[iamthetruedarklord]

Well. That wasn't the kind of person you'd expect to see handling flowers so delicately, but oh well. She needed those bouquets, and hopefully the funeral home owner had already set out an order so she wouldn't have to exchange too many words. Aradia was busy enough without having to stop for idle chitchat with the florists!!

Although...

There didn't seem to be anyone to talk to, or any memo on the counter. Instead, there was only a gruff-looking man at the front, carefully tending to a small bouquet of what looked like her order with uncharacteristic gentleness. 

"Ah, I'm from the funeral home, here to pick up my order under Aradia Megido?"

[iamthetruedarklord]

apocalypseArisen [AA] has changed their mood to MELANCHOLY!

[iamthetruedarklord]

Aradia walked two fingers on the dirty carpet, moving subtly closer still to the socket that held the plug to his computer. “What do you even /do/ on there, though? Surely nothing extremely important…” Was she hinting at unplugging his computer? /Definitely./

[programminggemini-deactivated20]

"You fucking wouldn’t, don’t even think about it i’m working." He spoke through gritted teeth, he wanted to fucking kill. HELL, he would kill her if she unplugged it. Her hand kept playing around the plug, that was enough, "ARADIA FUCKING MEGIDO DON’T IT."

[iamthetruedarklord]

"Sollux Daniel Captor." She mimicked back in the same tone of voice, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. She twirled the wire around her fingers, loosening the plug ever so slightly but not even enough to shut off the screen.

[iamthetruedarklord]

apocalypseArisen [AA] has changed their mood to MELANCHOLY!

[iamthetruedarklord]

She placed her fists on her hips and let out a disgruntled sigh, “At least /try,/ Man, no wonder you always lecture me about the sass, It’s annoying.” 

"Here’s how you sleep. You don’t drink your body weight in energy drinks and you don’t spend seventy six hours on the computer." Plopping down onto the floor, she kicked at the leg of his chair.

[programminggemini-deactivated20]

He scoffed, “But what elthe would I drink, water?” He looked down at Aradia, god this girl just really wasn’t going anywhere, was she? Sollux gave a glare, “Okay, i’m getting tired of this bullthhit, if I thay i’ll sleep can you fucking leave.” 

[iamthetruedarklord]

Aradia walked two fingers on the dirty carpet, moving subtly closer still to the socket that held the plug to his computer. "What do you even /do/ on there, though? Surely nothing extremely important..." Was she hinting at unplugging his computer? /Definitely./

[iamthetruedarklord]

apocalypseArisen [AA] has changed their mood to MELANCHOLY!

[programminggemini-deactivated20]

"Well, fuck you." Sollux growled before taking the first swig from his can. He then shuffled a bit in his chair and focused towards Aradia, "Tho are you going to go now, or are you jutht going to tell me to do thomething that I probably won’t do?"

[iamthetruedarklord]

"The latter." She said, crossing the distance between the two of them and poking him in the ribs. "You should sleep. Like. Soon. And don’t be like, ‘Oh, AA, i promithe I will’ because I know you won’t."

[programminggemini-deactivated20]

His reaction to the poke was delayed, and pulled away a good moment after. He then gave a nice dramatic eye roll towards Aradia, “What in the hell do you want to hear then? That I have magically been hit by the thandman and you mutht leave at this very moment ath I may fall over altheep on you therefore you will be trapped underneath me? Please, guide me in thith fathcinating action that is thleep, AA.” 

[iamthetruedarklord]

She placed her fists on her hips and let out a disgruntled sigh, "At least /try,/ Man, no wonder you always lecture me about the sass, It's annoying." 

"Here's how you sleep. You don't drink your body weight in energy drinks and you don't spend seventy six hours on the computer." Plopping down onto the floor, she kicked at the leg of his chair.

[iamthetruedarklord]

apocalypseArisen [AA] has changed their mood to MELANCHOLY!

[programminggemini-deactivated20]

He rolled his eyes, “I’m not going to thleep.” Standing up from this chair he walked over to the mini fridge he shared with Jake. (He wouldn’t exactly call it shared since over half of it is his own drinks.) Opening it he grabbed a Mountain Dew, it seemed he was out of everything else, he made a mental note to swing by the store for some more soon. “At leatht I try to control being one at timeth, come on.” Journeying back over to his chair he worked to open the soda with his index finger, “You only get away with it more.”

[iamthetruedarklord]

Eyes widening, she pressed a hand to her chest, feigning surprise. “You mean being an asshole is a choice of yours? It seems like I’ve been lied to my entire life!” Shifting again so her shoulder was against the doorframe and she was completely facing Sollux, Aradia blinked. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sollux, I am an innocent angel.” 

[programminggemini-deactivated20]

"Well, fuck you." Sollux growled before taking the first swig from his can. He then shuffled a bit in his chair and focused towards Aradia, "Tho are you going to go now, or are you jutht going to tell me to do thomething that I probably won’t do?"

[iamthetruedarklord]

"The latter." She said, crossing the distance between the two of them and poking him in the ribs. "You should sleep. Like. Soon. And don't be like, 'Oh, AA, i promithe I will' because I know you won't."

[iamthetruedarklord]

apocalypseArisen [AA] has changed their mood to MELANCHOLY!

[iamthetruedarklord]

She shrugged in response to that, settling back against the doorframe as he rubbed under his eyes. “You should sleep. Otherwise I came here for nothing.” Idly, she kicked a wad of paper away from her foot towards Sollux. 

"Oops, sorry. It’s kind of a package deal with me. Like you and your natural assholery." The little smile that tugged at her lips afterwards could’ve been joking. Maybe even sly, but nah. She probably meant that insult with all her heart. 

[programminggemini-deactivated20]

He rolled his eyes, “I’m not going to thleep.” Standing up from this chair he walked over to the mini fridge he shared with Jake. (He wouldn’t exactly call it shared since over half of it is his own drinks.) Opening it he grabbed a Mountain Dew, it seemed he was out of everything else, he made a mental note to swing by the store for some more soon. “At leatht I try to control being one at timeth, come on.” Journeying back over to his chair he worked to open the soda with his index finger, “You only get away with it more.”

[iamthetruedarklord]

Eyes widening, she pressed a hand to her chest, feigning surprise. "You mean being an asshole is a choice of yours? It seems like I've been lied to my entire life!" Shifting again so her shoulder was against the doorfram and she was completely facing Sollux, Aradia blinked. "I don't know what you're talking about, Sollux, I am an innocent angel." 

[iamthetruedarklord]

apocalypseArisen [AA] has changed their mood to MELANCHOLY!

[iamthetruedarklord]

"Is it really so awful that I came over to check on my best friend and make sure he isn’t coding himself to death?" Why was he staring? Her eyes drifted to the wall before she started talking again, shifting her weight on her feet. "And what do you mean sass? I’m not giving you any sass!" 

What a fucking lie, but whatever, she was going to roll with that anyway. “And correction: your brain is processing /barely./ You just can’t feel it because it runs at that same speed almost everyday.” She finished her sentence while bringing her eyes back to him with a sunny smile, as though she hadn’t basically just insulted him.

[programminggemini-deactivated20]

"It’th not awful…jutht uncommon for thethe dayth?" Sollux finally realizing he was staring look away, slipping a hand under his glasses and rubbing them. Okay, maybe he was partially tired, but another energy drink could fix that.

"And i’m thorry but taht’s bullthhit, I am fully aware of my brainth limitth, tho theriouthly i’m fine." He hesitated for a bit playing her statement back in his head, then spotting her smile and frowned in response, "What the fuck did I thay about the thathh." 

[iamthetruedarklord]

She shrugged in response to that, settling back against the doorframe as he rubbed under his eyes. "You should sleep. Otherwise I came here for nothing." Idly, she kicked a wad of paper away from her foot towards Sollux. 

"Oops, sorry. It's kind of a package deal with me. Like you and your natural assholery." The little smile that tugged at her lips afterwards could've been joking. Maybe even sly, but nah. She probably meant that insult with all her heart. 

[iamthetruedarklord]

apocalypseArisen [AA] has changed their mood to MELANCHOLY!

[iamthetruedarklord]

"Three days and 4 hours, Sollux." Condescendingly, she tapped her foot on the floor, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. "Yes, right. I’m going to brush you telling me to go away off for now and tell myself it’s your exhausted mind talking." Shit, sass game was through the roof. Woah there, Aradia, slow the fuck down.

Speaking of slowing down, that sounded like something Sollux should be doing right now. Slowing down and trying to ease the huge stick up his ass out of said ass sounded like a lovely plan right now and WOW that sounded a lot worse than she had hoped. Honestly, she wasn’t even sure why she had come. To make sure Sollux slept? To make sure he was taking care of himself? No, Aradia didn’t come to harass him either, as fun as it was. 

[programminggemini-deactivated20]

"I’m not even exhauthted, my brain ith procethhing without any problemth." He blinked and stared intently at her, this isn’t usually like her to come over if he hasn’t slept in a few days, well at least since they were in a relationship. So what was behind all this?

"Tho thtupid thhit over, will you mind informing me on the real reathon you came other. Altho don’t try to give me any of that fucking thathh." God, he fucking hated that word, talk about a pain in the ass to get out.

[iamthetruedarklord]

"Is it really so awful that I came over to check on my best friend and make sure he isn't coding himself to death?" Why was he staring? Her eyes drifted to the wall before she started talking again, shifting her weight on her feet. "And what do you mean sass? I'm not giving you any sass!" 

What a fucking lie, but whatever, she was going to roll with that anyway. "And correction: your brain is processing /barely./ You just can't feel it because it runs at that same speed almost everyday." She finished her sentence while bringing her eyes back to him with a sunny smile, as though she hadn't basically just insulted him.

[iamthetruedarklord]

apocalypseArisen [AA] has changed their mood to MELANCHOLY!

[iamthetruedarklord]

—apocalypseArisen [AA] began pestering twinArmageddons [TA]—

AA: s0llux y0u sh0uldnt leave a guest waiting at the d00r 

AA: that 

AA: was just l0ckpicked

AA: wh0s the t0p d0g n0w huh fucker

That was actually an incredibly rhetorical question, as it was obvious to anyone who could see and even to those who couldn’t see that Aradia was indeed, the top dog.

As always, but she wasn’t going to push that anymore than Sollux’s gentle little heart could handle. Oops, wait a second—did she say gentle? She meant absolutely fucking awful and shriveled and blackened piece of trash organ in place of a beating heart. Well, after all, this was what he deserved. The two of them wouldn’t even be here and Aradia wouldn’t have picked his lock if he had just opened the door like a normal person.

But then again, Aradia never did have an affinity for the normal. Maybe that was why she kept talking to him. Hmhmhmhm. 

Instead, she waltzed into the dorm like she owned it (which she didn’t) and moved furniture out of her way like she was allowed to do it (which she wasn;t) and knocked twice on Sollux’s doorframe. 

"Knock, knock."

[programminggemini-deactivated20]

Fuck. That was the only word Sollux could understand that was going through his head currently. What was even the point of all this, sure he hasn’t slept in a while but he still had full function of his mind and body? That’s fine and healthy for him, he would sleep when he needed, it’s bullshit to waste time with that idiotic action anyways. 

But here Aradia was standing in his doorway trying to be some snide little shit. Swiveling his computer chair around he turned to look fully towards her, clearly glaring directly at the only other being in the room. He could just tell her to go away in a calm manner, but of course being himself and already aggravated there was no such thing as this fucking ‘calm’ possible. He took a large sigh and finally spoke up,

"Why did you even come over, you’re theriouthly not my fucking babythitter, I am a grown human being who can be independent. Go the fuck away, AA." 

[iamthetruedarklord]

"Three days and 4 hours, Sollux." Condescendingly, she tapped her foot on the floor, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. "Yes, right. I'm going to brush you telling me to go away off for now and tell myself it's your exhausted mind talking." Shit, sass game was through the roof. Woah there, Aradia, slow the fuck down.

Speaking of slowing down, that sounded like something Sollux should be doing right now. Slowing down and trying to ease the huge stick up his ass out of said ass sounded like a lovely plan right now and WOW that sounded a lot worse than she had hoped. Honestly, she wasn't even sure why she had come. To make sure Sollux slept? To make sure he was taking care of himself? No, Aradia didn't come to harass him either, as fun as it was. 

[iamthetruedarklord]

apocalypseArisen [AA] has changed their mood to MELANCHOLY!

[iamthetruedarklord]

—apocalypseArisen [AA] began pestering twinArmageddons [TA]—

AA: s0llux y0u sh0uldnt leave a guest waiting at the d00r 

AA: that 

AA: was just l0ckpicked

AA: wh0s the t0p d0g n0w huh fucker

[iamthetruedarklord]

That was actually an incredibly rhetorical question, as it was obvious to anyone who could see and even to those who couldn't see that Aradia was indeed, the top dog.

As always, but she wasn't going to push that anymore than Sollux's gentle little heart could handle. Oops, wait a second--did she say gentle? She meant absolutely fucking awful and shriveled and blackened piece of trash organ in place of a beating heart. Well, after all, this was what he deserved. The two of them wouldn't even be here and Aradia wouldn't have picked his lock if he had just opened the door like a normal person.

But then again, Aradia never did have an affinity for the normal. Maybe that was why she kept talking to him. Hmhmhmhm. 

Instead, she waltzed into the dorm like she owned it (which she didn't) and moved furniture out of her way like she was allowed to do it (which she wasn;t) and knocked twice on Sollux's doorframe. 

"Knock, knock."

[iamthetruedarklord]

apocalypseArisen [AA] has changed their mood to MELANCHOLY!

[iamthetruedarklord]

AA: 0PEN THE D00R S0LLUX

[programminggemini-deactivated20]

TA: ii am not openiing that god for2aken door.

TA: YOU CAN JU2T TURN YOUR DEAD LOVIING, EXPLORIING A22 FACE AROUND AND GO BACK TO YOUR FUCKIING DORMROOM.

TA: that door ii2 not moviing iin anyway nor ii2 iit openiing.

TA: BYE ARADIIA.

—twinArmageddons [TA] ceased pestering apocalypseArisen [AA]!—

[iamthetruedarklord]

--apocalypseArisen [AA] began pestering twinArmageddons [TA]--

AA: s0llux y0u sh0uldnt leave a guest waiting at the d00r 

AA: that 

AA: was just l0ckpicked

AA: wh0s the t0p d0g n0w huh fucker