Ichi l She/Her l 30 y.o l INTJ l AO3 l My original stories l Spotify l Guidelines
Hello there, welcome to my blog!
I'm an all-time smiling person, a bookworm, an enthusiast baker, and a lazy couch potato who loves great music, writing, art, and long and calm walks.
I have also been dabbling in watercolor painting.
I'm an extroverted introvert if this makes sense... A history geek and completely obsessed with Oskar Von Reuenthal from Legends of the Galactic Heroes.
I’m here to share with you my writings about my favorite characters from my favorite animes.
I majored in electrical engineering and now I’m a physics middle school teacher
Favorites
Books : The pursuit of happiness of Douglas Kennedy, The century trilogy by Ken Follet, Six years by Harlan Coben, When the dawn breaks by Emma Fraser, and A Thousand splendide suns by Khaled Hosseini
Songs: Black gives way to blue by Alice in Chain, Flipside and Cinnamon girl by Lana Del Rey, Et s’il fallait le faire by Patricia Kaas, and What sober couldn’t say by Halestorm
Anime: Legend of the galactic heroes, Nana, SNK, Given, BSD, and Vinland saga
Movies: The wind rises, Whisper of the heart and Porco Rosso
Favorite characters (aside from Oskar): Odasaku, Eren Jäger, Walter Von Schönkopf, Toshizo Hijikata (Hakuoki), Itachi, Akane Tsaunemori, Yoshinobu Maeda, Ichinose Guren, and Nana
Non-anime series: How to get away with murder, blacklist and war and peace
Attack on Titan
Eren Jäger
Various characters
Them Discovering You Are Pregnant
Bungou Stray Dogs
Dazai Osamu
Oda Sakunosuke
Legends of the galactic heroes
Oskar von Reuenthal
Some of my works are NSFW, so please, if you are a minor do not interact, I have other SFW stories.
Chapter XV Who am I to sympathize when no one gave a damn
Pairing : Eren Jäger x reader, past relationships: Reiner Braun x reader, Jean kristein x reader
Characters: Eren Jäger, Annie Leonhart, Pieck Finger, Reiner Braun, Jean Kristein, Carla Jäger, Sophie Jäger.
Tags: Unhealthy coping mechanism, unhealthy relationships, childhood trauma, physical and verbal abuse, self-esteem and trust issues, domestic violence, implied/ referenced cheating, and a touch of sweet, lovable, and non fuckboy Eren Jäger
This fic is brought to you by Lana Del Rey’s songs
A/N: Hey, hey, heeeeeey! Guess who have decided to pick up her fanfic and update it. Yes, this lazy Ichi! I'm really sorry for taking so long to update, I didn't abandon this story, I promise.
Also thank you so much for reading and supporting my works.
Ichi ❤️
Quickly glancing at your reflection in the mirror, you tucked the rebellious locks behind your ear and smoothed your ponytail. It took you a while before you realized you were smiling at the woman staring back at you. Lately, you had been smiling a lot. You were sleeping better, and you felt happier. It was all thanks to him. Thanks to Eren.
With this thought in mind, you opened the door and threw yourself in his arms.
“Easy girl. You startled me.” He giggled, wrapping his arms around you. Nothing eased your soul and mind more than his warm embraces and presence. Whenever he was around, you felt light and carefree. Like the first page of a new sketchbook. “I just went to buy some croissants a couple of blocks away.” His voice was warm and soothing, like the first ray of sun after months of cold winter. “How about we continue this inside?" he asked a few seconds later, playfully poking your nose.
Smiling, you laced your fingers with his and led him inside your apartment.
There was something about this man that made you feel warm and fuzzy. Something you had always tried to name but failed to Was it his emerald green eyes and the way they looked at you as if you were a unique piece of art? The tone of his voice that softened whenever you were around? The bright smile that made his eyes shine and your heart jump in its place? Maybe it was the way his heartbeat synched perfectly with yours whenever you found yourself in his embrace? Or maybe it was all of the above and much, much more.
The feeling of his hand caressing your hair lovingly brought you back to reality.
“What’s on your mind, love?” he asked, offering you one of those smiles that made you want to hug him and never let go.
“You,” you instantly replied without thinking. Your cheeks turned crimson the second you realized what you had just said. Feeling shy, you buried your face in his chest.
He slowly cupped your chin and made you look at him. A smile curled up the corners of his mouth before his arms dropped to your waist. “I’m happy I’m up there,” he breathed against your lips before leaving a couple of chaste kisses. “Did you eat?” he inquired as he pulled away, and it made your heart melt. You had no idea what you did to deserve someone like him, but you were glad to have him in your life.
“No, was waiting for my handsome man.” A cheeky smile adorned your blushing face, making him chuckle.
“What a lucky man!”
After you two had breakfast, you did the dishes while he went to take a shower. You were about to finish when you heard the soft ding of received notifications.
A few seconds later, you grabbed your phone and checked the notification.
You had no clue how long you had been standing there, staring at your phone in shock. Feeling overwhelmed by your racing thoughts and feelings, you didn’t even notice Eren’s presence until he placed a hand on your shoulder and called your name.
“Are you alright, love?” His voice was filled with genuine concern as his eyebrows shot up his forehead.
“Yeah, yeah,” you muttered, pocketing your phone. “Just one of those war videos popped in.” You managed to pull up a smile before looking at him. “Want me to blow-dry your hair for you, dear?” you asked, hugging him.
Please don’t ask more questions.
“Would love to!”
Relief washed over you as those words came out of him.
After he left, you spent most of the evening staring at the text you received earlier that day. The number wasn’t registered, but you knew it was your sibling’s.
The noises coming from the living room were terrifying. Feeling your sibling’s small body tremble next to you, you moved closer and wrapped both arms around the frail silhouette. Your father had always scared you to death, but there were nights, like this one, when the word fear failed to come close to describing what you were feeling.
Hiding in your closet, you tried to stay as quiet as possible. If only you could stay hidden until he’d pass out on the couch from how much he drank that night. Trying to remember why he was angry this time, your brain kept racing as angry curses and threats reached your ears. You kept repeating that you needed to remain quiet, to not lose your grip and cry, to not utter a sound or a breath. You needed to stay here until the storm passed. You needed to hide your little sibling. To protect them from the monster you referred to as ‘dad’.
Dad, the word rotted in your mouth and felt like poison each time you said it. Deep down inside, you knew that you had a father, not a dad.
‘Dad passed away last night. The funeral will be held this Thursday afternoon.’ Your eyes scanned the two lines over and over again. It felt weird because, for you, your father died the day you left for college over a decade ago.
Sitting on the floor, bearfoot, you continued staring at your screen. Having no idea what you were experiencing, you let your head fall back as your tears silently traveled down your flushed cheeks.
Why are you crying now? The voice inside your head scoffed. He finally got what he deserved.
But you knew you weren’t crying because of that. You weren’t sad because he died or for his loss. How could you be sad for losing what you never had? How could you cry over someone who has hurt you for years? Someone you would never forgive. And even if you wanted to, it was too late. You crossed the point of no return years ago, and there was no going back now. There was nothing to go back for.
Remember all the things he did to you? all the bruises and stitches. All the scars and wounds. The voice kept arguing. Remember how he hurt you? how he damaged you. how he brought you down and broke you to pieces. The voice persisted. It became angrier, slowly becoming scary. He’s worse than Jean.
You knew that, and you weren’t willing to forgive him for that. You never intended to do so.
Then why the fuck are you crying?
You wished you had an answer, but you didn’t. You wished you weren’t this lost. You wished the news left you indifferent.
A couple of hours later, you finally found the resolve to stand up and go finish your work. With a cup of herbal tea in one hand and your phone in the other, you were about to take place by your desk when you received a call.
Frowning, you rejected it, but the number called again. After the fourth attempt, you gave up and took the call.
"Hello, sis, it’s been a while,” the voice greeted. Hearing how much it changed, you realized it had, in fact, been a while. That little, soft voice that asked you a million questions was no longer there. That innocent voice was gone. and that convinced you more of how pointless it was to dwell on the past and try to rebuild burned bridges.
“Hi,” you simply replied.
Discouraged by your cold tone, they took a deep breath before asking, “How are you?”
“Known better days.”
“I can imagine,” they mumbled. "So... are you coming?” they asked after a brief hesitation. “It’s been years, and I... I need your presence. I need you, sis.” Their voice broke, and you could’ve sworn you could hear your heart crack. But they had made their choice years ago when they decided to forgive your father. To choose him over you. To choose the one who mistreated them over the one who looked after them and loved them unconditionally. Each time you remembered that night, your heart fell to pieces and your soul shattered. You and your sibling made an oath. You promised each other to stay together, to help one another, and to start all over again far away from that doomed house.
It’s about time we went back home. Their words echoed infinitely in your head. Forgive and forget, sis. He’s our father, after all. He’s the only family we have left. Their words were mixed with angry voices and loud banging against the door. They were covered by the sound of hectic sobbing and whispered promises. Promises little you made to make out alive, to escape this living hell as soon as possible, to seek freedom and live.
“I’ll wait for. Please, you don’t forget the pro—” Knowing what they were about to say, you hung up before they had the chance to finish their sentence.
“Why, why, why, why!!” you kept repeating as a broken record. “Why do you always insist on doing this to me?" You fell to the ground, crying. “Why now. Why. I’m finally happy. I’m finally having a normal and peaceful life. I’m finally living my life.” Your fist slammed the cold floor beneath you over and over. “Give me a break. Haven’t you had enough?"
Pairing : Eren Jäger x reader, Reiner Braun x Reader (past relationship), Jean Kristein x Reader (past relationship)
Characters: Eren Jäger, Annie Leonhart, Pieck Finger, Jean Kristien, Reiner Braun, Carla Jager, Sophie Jäger
Tags: Unhealthy copping mechanism, unhealthy relationships, childhood trauma, physical and verbal abuse, self-esteem and trust issues, domestic violence, implied/ referenced cheating and a touch of sweet, lovable and non fuckboy Eren Jäger, German-speaking Eren.
This work is brought to you by Lana Del Rey’s songs
I found this illustration on pinterest, credits to the artist
Updates on mondays and thursdays
Playlists : Reader’s POV, Eren’s POV
Summary
“I explained my hurt and still got hurt so I learned to stop talking”
They say you can’t break a broken heart, but how many times should a heart be broken to become immune?
Believing she had her share of suffering; reader decides never to expect a tomorrow from her one-night stands and to close her heart for good. everything goes according to her plans until one day, she wakes up in his bed.
His name is Eren Jäger and he is more than determined to pierce the hard rock ice covering her heart.
A/N: It’s been a while since I posted something, it was because of this fic. I came up with the idea over a month ago and started a draft but was too afraid to engage.
This work contains a detailed description of physical and verbal abuse, please read the tags.
Also, if you are a victim of any form of domestic abuse, please seek help. I know it’s not easy but it’s better than being stuck in this endless vicious cycle.
I also would like to thank you for all the support you give me and for the reactions. I hope you like this story because it means a lot to me. Stay safe please.
Pairing : Eren Jäger x reader, past relationships: Reiner Braun x reader, Jean kristein x reader
Characters: Eren Jäger, Annie Leonhart, Pieck Finger, Reiner Braun, Jean Kristein, Carla Jäger, Sophie Jäger.
Tags: Unhealthy coping mechanism, unhealthy relationships, childhood trauma, physical and verbal abuse, self-esteem and trust issues, domestic violence, implied/ referenced cheating, and a touch of sweet, lovable, and non fuckboy Eren Jäger
This fic is brought to you by Lana Del Rey’s songs
A/N: Hey, hey, heeeeeey! Guess who have decided to pick up her fanfic and update it. Yes, this lazy Ichi! I'm really sorry for taking so long to update, I didn't abandon this story, I promise.
Also thank you so much for reading and supporting my works.
Ichi ❤️
“Eren,” you moaned, wrapping your arms around his figure. Just like every time you had him this close, you were on the verge of losing your mind. His scent, his teeth grazing your shoulder, and his warm breath fanning against your skin felt ethereal. It felt like a dream. One, you didn’t want for it to end.
In response to the sultry noises escaping you, he brushed his lips against your pulse point, making the last threads of sanity grow thinner and more tense before they slowly vanished in the air.
Laying on your couch in the middle of your dimly lit living room, you tried to trace back the events of this night. You tried, without success, to figure out how innocent tickling led to him half naked and hovering over your nude body.
Swimming in an endless sea of joy and sensuality, you tried to capture and memorize this moment. The faint ticking of the mechanical, vintage clock sitting on the fireplace, the aroma of your fabric softener, and his heart rate. You were mindlessly indulging in your fantasies when his rich voice brought you back to present time.
“Are you ready, love?” he inquired once again.
His large hand caressed your cheeks ever so gently as you nodded. It took you a while to manage to utter a broken yes.
A genuine smile, the same one that captured your heart and bewitched your soul, broke through his lips as he kicked out his shorts and repositioned himself above you. He slowly guided himself past your wet folds. It stretched, burned, and filled you, and it never failed to make you feel complete. His thumb still traced gentle cercles against your burning cheeks as he praised you and chanted how perfect you were for him. how beautiful, dazzling, and amazing you were.
By the time he was fully inside you, your brain was so fogged that the line separating reality from fantasies blended, making it hard to tell what was real and what wasn’t. His hands were all over your body. His lips were littering soft kisses against your burning skin, reminding you that he wasn’t a product of your imagination. Reminding you that this was real. That what was going on between the two of you was real.
And you believed him. You believed and held on to all the unspoken promises he sealed against your skin.
So, you let your head fall back, eyes screwed shut, and gave in to the pleasure waves idly hitting you. You closed your eyes and let them drift you away from all the terrible thoughts that had haunted you for years. You let him trade the darkness devouring you with beams of sunlight and the twinkles of a million stars.
Eren couldn’t get over how dazzling you looked underneath him. With each thrust, the noises that spilled from your mouth pushed him over the edge. He tried to contain himself and take it easy on you. But your parted, swollen lips made it so hard for him to control the violent hurricane of feelings he was trapped in. And you asking him, in your high-pitched, broken voice, to go faster made thinking straight even harder.
His arms looping around your waist and pressing your writhing body against his gave you a sense of safety. You had no idea why, but whenever you found yourself in his arms, all your worries washed away, and the dark clouds invading your sky disappeared. Whenever he was around, all the sad melodies you spent your life listening to changed into happy ones. Smiling, you made a mental note to share this thought with him. to tell him about all the wonderful things he made you feel. to thank him for loving and accepting you as you were. But the unholy rhythm he was pounding on you made your thoughts dissolve like a spoonful of salt in a bottle of water.
Lost in the blissful mist of the building up pleasure, you didn’t realize that he had changed position until he hit that sweet spot that made you see the stars in the middle of your apartment. That particular angle that never failed to make your soul get lost forever in the abyss of your orgasm.
He continued moving in synch with your heartbeat and your lust-filled thoughts. With every buck and every groan, he was bringing dead parts of you back to life. Parts you completely forgot they ever existed.
By the time he collapsed next to you, your ability to think or form a coherent sentence was inexistent. Craving more of his soothing warmth, you instinctively nestled your face in the crook of his neck. A pair of strong, tattooed arms looped around your shaking body, and it felt like home. With the tip of your finger, you absent-mindedly traced the one climbing up his arm and covering his shoulder blade. Caressing his tattoos was one of the numerous habits you developed after you got together.
You remained like that, in each other’s arms, enjoying the comfortable silence until you fell asleep.
When the sunlight filtering through the beige curtains woke you up the next morning, you found yourself tucked under the soft, satin sheets in your bed.
Eren was nowhere to be seen. Sitting with your back pressed against the headboard, you perked your ears, trying to locate where your boyfriend was. But to your surprise, the apartment was as silent as the city streets on a snowy Sunday morning.
After you left your bed, you fished for a t-shirt and exited your bedroom. Your clothes and his, which were scattered all over the living room, were gone. Assuming it was Eren who picked them up, you put some order in the living room before heading to the bathroom to take a quick shower.
You were in the kitchen making breakfast when you heard the door.
Summary : You knew you and Eren were bad for each other and that your relationship was unhealthy but that never helped breaking away from him.
Tags: Modern AU, aged-up characters, Angst, unhealthy relationship,
1,2 k words
AN: Guess who's back with a new selfship with Eren Jager story!!
This story is inspired by we got used to us by riverside. I hope you like it.
Everything was falling apart.
You knew that; you could feel him slip from between your fingers, and there was nothing you could do about it.
Unable to sleep, you rolled to your side and watched the man sleeping next to you. His chestnut hair had fallen from his manbun, covering half of his face while the other was buried in his pillow.
Though they were there, clear as day, somehow you never picked up the signs. Neither of you. Instead, you continued, you persevered into hurting one another. Not out of malice or ill intentions, you just thought that was how love worked. You just thought that was the way of the world. Young and foolish, both of you believed you were in love when, in fact, you were just being devoured by pain.
You met Eren four years ago at one of the fraternity parties near your campus. You were a freshman, and he was a senior. It all started with friendly flirting on the veranda while sharing a bottle of cheap wine. Those late-night drunken conversations soon turned into casual hookups and ended up becoming whatever was going on between the two of you.
You had always told yourself that you should’ve noticed that there was something wrong with you. You should’ve known you were bad for each other. You should’ve recognized the telltale signs. Like the time you baked muffins at three a.m. It was so romantic, but you fought the whole time, and ended up going to bed angry at each other. It would’ve been okay if it was something that occurred only once. But then there were other times—plenty of them. Like when you discussed the Higgs boson, or was it chain reactions? You couldn’t tell anymore. Though you knew you were supposed to learn from that conversation and not end up calling each other names and getting into yet another fight in the middle of the night.
You reached out a hesitant hand and pushed back his hair, wondering if this was the right way to love someone. If, in the middle of this chaos you had both created, there was room for happiness. You grazed his cheeks and jawline with the tip of your fingers, trying to find a solution to this dilemma. A way to fix what was broken and damaged.
You thought you were passionate, even though you couldn’t tell love bites from bruises anymore. They meant the same to both of you anyway. You thought it was you against the world, even though you never tried to tend to others wounds. You just continued blaming each other for whatever unhappiness you were dealing with. You thought you were meant to be together, even though all you could remember were the times he made you cry. Or the times you hurt his ego and broke his heart.
You screwed your eyes shut, trying to remember all the moments of intense and pure joy you had shared with him. way before jealousy and possessiveness became a part of your routine. Way before bitterness and disappointment tore you apart. With a broken smile, you recalled the slow dances in the middle of the night to old jazz. You would stand on his shoes with your bare feet and lovingly move across your living room. Those frantic drunken kisses you exchanged under the pouring rain. The lighthearted giggles, the dreams you shared, and the way you used to look at each other.
You took a deep, shaky breath, conjuring yourself to not burst into tears. To not let your weakness show. You begged your eyelids not to give in and let them stream down your crimson cheeks.
Afraid you might wake him up, you cautiously slipped out of bed and locked yourself in the bathroom.
You told yourself that you should’ve known you were a dysfunctional couple when ‘I love you’ became a way of marking territories instead of manifesting feelings. You should’ve known that you were toxic when your bed became a battlefield. When making love was a way to express your frustration and nothing more. You should’ve known that you were done when longing and enamored stares traded places with ones full of hatred and despise.
You let yourself fall to your knees, crying your heart out, crying all the things you would never be, all the happiness you would never experience, and all the hardships you were bound to endure. Pressing your forehead against the cold shower door, you give in to your inner demons and negative thoughts and feelings. You surrender and let the void consume you for good. You had always known that, despite all the odds, your soul was intertwined with his. That even if you tried, you wouldn’t be able to stay away. That you would be leaving half of your being with him if you ever chose to leave. You and Eren were drawn into each other, hypnotized by the darkness you both emitted. You knew that you were far too gone and that it was too late for you to save yourselves.
You kept repeating to yourself that you should’ve left earlier, but you were too addicted, too lost, and too broken to admit that your love had died long ago. That it wasn’t meant to survive and prosper. You were so used to it being poisonous that you thought this was the only possible way to love and be loved by him. You were too numb, too young, and too stubborn to end things. You were so used to you and whatever fragile equilibrium you managed to create over the years.
“But I love him and I need him,” you hiccupped.
The mere thought of not being able to caress his hair as soon as you woke up, not being able to breathe in his comforting scent, not being able to kiss him, and not being able to feel his arms wrapped around you made your heart shatter into millions of pieces.
You were still sobbing when you heard a light knock on the door.
“Is everything alright, love?” you heard him ask from behind the closed door, his voice filled with genuine concern.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you replied with a wobbly voice.
“No, you’re not. Open up,” he insisted.
“Just leave me alone, would you?” you shouted. “Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone for once?”
“Because I promised to stick by your side and look after you. Now, open the damned fucking door.”
Your trembling hands reached out and unlocked the door. Unable to look him in the eyes, you brought your knees against your chest and hid your face.
“What’s wrong, love?” he asked, looping his arms around your shaken figure. He buried one of his hands in your hair, scratching your scalp gently. The contact of his skin against yours felt so wrong yet so soothing. The warmth radiating from his body eased your soul but made you want to throw up at the same time.
Not knowing what to do, you allowed yourself to melt under his touch. Nestling your face in the crook of his neck, you let his body tour over you. You let him hold you and share your burden. You let him in once again.
Everything was falling apart, but you knew there was no way out.
Hello friends!! I hope you’re all doing well and that you are enjoying the holiday season if you celebrate it. It’s been a while since I last wrote something, and I miss it. So, here I am with this event idea.
Starting today till January 5th, my inbox is open for requests for standalones.
Please take the time to read my rules/guidelines before contacting me.
All you need to do is send me a request with one of the characters in the list below, the genre or AU, and three constraints. It can be a trope, a prompt, a dialogue line, or a detail you want in the story. The stories can be with another canon character, xf!reader, or an original charater.
If you need inspiration to pick constraints, you can check those lists
by @urfriendlywriter : Are we about to kiss? small things that just matter in romance, angsty romance prompts, prompts
those seconds before the living breath is kissed out of you by @dumplingsjinson
sacred romantic moments by @shinsources
For NSFW check these lists
Dirty talk, dirty whispers by @melaerotica
Dialogue Prompts by @fireandspiceland
I’m comfortable writing fluff, family fluff, smut, angst with or without comfort, or a combination of two or more.
List of characters:
Attack on Titan: Eren, Reiner, Erwin, Zeke, Porco, Jean
JJK: Geto, Nanami, Gojo
Tokyo revengers: Mitsuya, Baji, Shinichiro, Draken, Chifuuya, Mikey,
Hello friends!! I hope you’re all doing well and that you are enjoying the holiday season if you celebrate it. It’s been a while since I last wrote something, and I miss it. So, here I am with this event idea.
Starting today till January 5th, my inbox is open for requests for standalones.
Please take the time to read my rules/guidelines before contacting me.
All you need to do is send me a request with one of the characters in the list below, the genre or AU, and three constraints. It can be a trope, a prompt, a dialogue line, or a detail you want in the story. The stories can be with another canon character, xf!reader, or an original charater.
If you need inspiration to pick constraints, you can check those lists
by @urfriendlywriter : Are we about to kiss? small things that just matter in romance, angsty romance prompts, prompts
those seconds before the living breath is kissed out of you by @dumplingsjinson
sacred romantic moments by @shinsources
For NSFW check these lists
Dirty talk, dirty whispers by @melaerotica
Dialogue Prompts by @fireandspiceland
I’m comfortable writing fluff, family fluff, smut, angst with or without comfort, or a combination of two or more.
List of characters:
Attack on Titan: Eren, Reiner, Erwin, Zeke, Porco, Jean
JJK: Geto, Nanami, Gojo
Tokyo revengers: Mitsuya, Baji, Shinichiro, Draken, Chifuuya, Mikey,
Please take your time and read my rules/guidelines before sending me requests or interacting with me.
Some of my works are NSFW so please, if you are a minor don’t interact and don’t send NSFW requests.
I don’t tolerate racism of any sorts.
I mostly write xf!reader fanfics but I do write things with original characters from time to time.
All of my characters are aged up (usually between mid-twenties and late thirties).
I don’t write smut for canonically minor characters (even if you ask me to age them up) or minor main characters.
I will not write anything related to non-con, violence, torture, BDSM, gore, rape, pedophilia, beastiality, misogyny, assault, incest, step-cest, age play, daddy kinks, foot fetishes, blood play, dacryphilia, anything related to spitting, pissing, vomiting, large age gaps for adults (max I can go with is ten years), a relationship where one of the pairings is underage, so if you request something that I'm not comfortable with writing, please respect my decision to decline.
I don’t specify the race/weight of my Y/N’s, so please don’t ask me to.
This is my first time taking requests, so please be patient with me if I take a bit too long to write the stories and do not expect me to finish requests right away
Thank you for reading my guidelines and respecting them. I hope you enjoy my stories.
