idemromanticism

art using the idemromantic colors #5f5f5f #7bef86 #ffffff #ffafaf not an artist at all unless stated otherwise, the line art is not mine, just the coloring. if need, i'll try to credit artists, but usually i use free line art. i just like seeing these colors more.

[idemromanticism]

hey, ive been IDing as idemromantic for a very long time, and i was wondering if differentiating romo&platonic feelings is done automatically based on outside factors or if its a conscious choice based on outside factors?

To be honest, I've never seen this specified, so I assume it can be both! I do it automatically/without really thinking about it and I happily identify as idemromantic. Thank you for the ask 💕

[idemromanticism]

Hi! I've identified as idemromantic for over a year now, and I'm proud of it. But I'm starting to get doubts, because in my experience, I don't feel romantic and platonic love the same way, but I feel them similarly. And I don't consciously decide based on other factors; I'm able to tell the difference between them. But for me, it's marked by the fact that the feelings are so similar and as strong in intensity (most times, the platonic feelings are stronger). And I don't feel romantic (pt 1)

“(pt 2) towards my fiance; rather he's my platonic boyfriend. Am I still idemromantic?”

First I want to say that I strongly believe that identities are mostly something you decide for yourself because I think that labels are usually a way someone can know that they are not alone. So even with what you’ve said, I don’t want to say and I don’t want you to feel like I’m like a dictator on idemromanticism and I decide who can and can’t identify as it. I think that’s up to you. 

Idemromantic people feel platonic and romantic attraction the same/similarly physically and internally, but categorize their relationships with people based on factors like age, emotional closeness, sexual attraction, etc. and are able to tell the difference between the two feelings through that. 

So in my eyes, you are/can label yourself as idemromantic as you fit the qualities. In fact, I think I was in the exact same boat as you about a month back where I felt the same way you do and questioned if I was idemromantic, and after looking at other people speak of their feelings and such as they identify with the term, I decided I am idemromantic for sure. 

I do think though, and this is just my thought, that you should talk to your fiance, that is, if he doesn’t know you don’t have romantic feelings for him. From that small sentence you wrote, it sounds to me like a queerplatonic relationship/partnership which is totally great! But I think, if he isn’t aware of this, you should tell him and talk to him about how he feels about that. If he is aware, then wonderful! You can ignore this paragraph. 

Anyways, TL;DR - I think you are, and can label yourself as, idemromantic, but I also think that’s more up to you to decide. 

Thank you for the ask! <3

[idemromanticism]

my attempt at an artsy edit ~ the idemromantic flag made of roses! ~ yay!

Idemromantic ~

“A word signifying romance that is similar to platonic feelings and relationships. The word is meant to spark discussions on the variety of ways romance is expressed.

Some people can categorize their interest in others as romantic instead of platonic simply based on age, personality compatibility, emotional closeness, ease of living together, presence of sexual attraction, or other factors. However, their feelings toward their romantic interests would not be particularly distinguishable from platonic feelings and may be similar to how they feel for a best friend.

Romance can just be a special kind of experience set aside for special bonds. It doesn’t have to be grand, dramatic, gushy, or passionate.

Some people who experience romance this way may go through life never thinking they are out of the ordinary. Others may believe it means there’s something wrong with them. It isn’t unusual; it’s as valid a form of romance as any other.”

“Categorizes relationships and feelings as platonic or romantic but experiences no notable internal differences. They may categorize certain relationships as romantic instead of platonic based on age, personality compatibility, emotional closeness, ease of living together, presence of sexual attraction, or other factors. But their feelings toward their romantic interests would not be particularly distinguishable from platonic feelings and may be similar to how they feel for a best friend or beloved family member. They may pursue platonic, quasiplatonic, romantic, or no relationships.”

[terra-kat]

Me: Oh don’t worry, I don’t have romantic feelings towards you.

My idemromantic ass: 

[friendlyneighborhoodenby-blog]

I made a gif! It’s very cute and it’s my header now. I can make these for people too if anyone wants one.

[idemromanticism]

I have been confused my entire life on my relationships, and its been so completely frustrating. But I had never heard of this term until now!!!! I'm so happy!!!!!!!!!!! It completely describes me and now I'm not alone!!! Thank you!! 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Ah! I’m sorry you had to struggle for so long! But I’m glad I could help you find something that fit you! I was starting to give up on this page but now I know I definitely won’t. You’re definitely not alone and we’re a small community, but a community nonetheless. I’m always here if you need someone to talk to! Thank you so much for this ask and I’m so happy that you’ve found a fitting term for yourself! <3<3<3

[idemromanticism]

Can an Idenromantic person also be polyamorous?

I don’t see why they can’t be! I don’t see those as opposing identities at all. I think they would fit quite nicely actually! :) 

Thank you for the ask! <3

[idemromanticism]

Okay, I'm sorry if you have to answer this a lot, but I've never heard of idemromantic before but I think it might fit me... Is the difference between it and wtf/quioromantic basically that in neither on do you distinguish romantic be platonic feelings, but that with idemromanticism you still distinguish the relationships based on other factors?

Don’t apologize! To be honest you’re maybe the third ask I’ve ever gotten. The difference between idemromantic and wtf/quioromantic is basically as you described. They both can’t distinguish between platonic and romantic attraction, but with wtf/quioromanticism, it’s more that you just don’t know how romantic attraction feels because they feel the same, so you are not sure if you feel it, while idemromanticism they just both feel the same and you decide whether you would date someone based on other factors like age, personality compatibility, emotional closeness, ease of living together, presence of sexual attraction, etc. 

[penicillium-pusher]

Some various lesser-know LGBTQ identities! Most of these can be sexual identities, as well (just… you know… substitute the word “sexual” where you see “romantic” haha)

[theonlyaceiknow]

Let’s spread awareness!!

[idemromanticism]

i really like this dragon 🐲

[idemromanticism]

I'm having a hard time understanding idemromanticism and I really want to be able to understand it so I can show support. Is there any way you can explain it?

I see where you’re coming from! It is kind of a hard thing to explain, and I’ve had trouble trying to explain it to people but I will try my best for you!

The definition on the aromantic wikia states:

“A word signifying romance that is similar to platonic feelings and relationships. The word is meant to spark discussions on the variety of ways romance is expressed.

Some people can categorize their interest in others as romantic instead of platonic simply based on age, personality compatibility, emotional closeness, ease of living together, presence of sexual attraction, or other factors. However, their feelings toward their romantic interests would not be particularly distinguishable from platonic feelings and may be similar to how they feel for a best friend.

Romance can just be a special kind of experience set aside for special bonds. It doesn’t have to be grand, dramatic, gushy, or passionate.

Some people who experience romance this way may go through life never thinking they are out of the ordinary. Others may believe it means there’s something wrong with them. It isn’t unusual; it’s as valid a form of romance as any other.”

But that itself is difficult to understand.

I liked think about it like this; in general, alloromantic people see people and sometimes get this feeling or attraction, sometimes they will think “I want to be this person’s friend.” (platonic attraction) and sometimes they will think “I want to /romantically/ date this person.” (romantic attraction) It’s a clear distinction, that tends to not be by choice.

But for me, I cannot tell the difference between these two attractions, so instead I categorize people based on other outside factors. This can be things like personal compatibility, ease of a relationship, financial stability, physical/sexual attraction, etc.

It’s a bit difficult for me right now, because I thought I was alloromantic my entire life until I talked to my friends and saw that my view of platonic and romantic attraction are different from theirs, and I very recently found this term, so it’s new to me. I always thought I could tell the difference, and for some reason I just always had a romantic attraction to anyone I was friends with. (i’m very selective with my friends) But eventually I realized that I just felt no difference between the two, and I simply categorized people whether we’d work out or not and things like that. Like, certain friends it would be harder to date and I recognize that. Some of my friends have a very different maturity level, or we simply have conflicting interests, or we don’t have compatible views on life. But internally, I don’t see a difference between how I feel about someone. I feel the same about my best friend that I would about a “crush” but in my mind I put them in different categories based on the different standards I have for what I personally define as attraction.

I hope this helped a bit! Reading over this, it might still be very confusing and I’m not very good at explaining things right, so I’m sorry if this didn’t help or made it more confusing for you… But I’m happy to continue trying to help you understand if you’re still confused/curious!

Also, I am on mobile right now, but I will be going home soon, so I’m going to edit this post a bit on my computer.

And thank you so much for the ask!

[ace-and-aro-support-group]

hello! im the blog who asked about a shout out for my side blog. if you want to look over the blog thats absolutely fine by me! it's @idemromanticism and focuses on being idemromantic. after realizing that i couldnt feel attraction like my friends could, i searched online for a while with a friend, and we found idemromantic which fit me perfectly, but theres absolutely nothing there if you look it up. so i felt a little left out and made this blog to help others like me feel more supported. :)

Woohoo! Go for it lovelies!(Also just so you know your asks are turned off on that blog. Idk if you mean for them to be off or not so I’m just letting you know.)-Kass

[idemromanticism]

oh my! I'll turn them on right now! thank you for letting me know!

[aromanticpositive-blog]

ive been feeling kinda down lately because i havent seen idemromantic in any arospec posts, could i possibly ask for some idemromantic positivity ?

Yes! Honestly, it’s really sad that there are identity gate keepers and marginalized identities in a community that is already been marginalized and forgotten about. There really have not been enough posts about idemromanticism. 

So let me say now: idemromantics are real and valid. Only you can define what romantic attraction is to you- it doesn’t matter how many qualifiers or traits you use to define your attraction, your feelings are real and legitimate and no one can tell you otherwise. Your romantic feelings are not any less valid than those who are not idemromantic. Your attraction is good and valuable no matter what kind of attraction it is, or how you classify it.  

Also, idemromantics are cool and deserve to have a great week!

[idemromanticism]

thank you for having this 💕

[cassiatora]

Hi. Sorry to bother you, but I saw a post about you being idemromantic and I was wondering if you could help me figure out if I am as well. When I get really attached to a friend, I start to want to cuddle, kiss, hug, etc. with them. I don't think that I'm demiromantic because it happens with ALL my friends. Idk does that sound like idemromantic or?

Hey! It’s no bother at all! I’m always happy to talk about asexuality/aromanticism. :)

First of all, you obviously know your experiences better than me, so don’t take my thoughts as the final word.

That being said, what you’re describing definitely could fall under idemromanticism. The key feature of idemromanticism (at least in my experience) is that you can/do distinguish between platonic and romantic relationships, but that distinction has nothing to do with emotions.

For me, the distinction could be any number of signals–labels (”boyfriend/girlfriend/datefriend,” “spouse,” ect), exclusivity (sometimes; see platonic soulmates; doesn’t necessarily mean “monogamous”), and actions (giving flowers, going on traditional dates, “meeting the family”) can all tip my perception of a relationship from platonic to romantic. The more signals there are, the more likely I’ll see the relationship as romantic. (If you’ve been on my personal/fandom blog, you can see that I frequently flip between romantic and platonic readings of a ship, with very little differences besides my own otp/arotp label.)

It’s worth noting that physical or emotional intimacy tells me nothing about whether a relationship is romantic or platonic. Cuddling, hugging, ect…? I don’t need to be romantically attracted to you for those things to sound appealing. (and I mean, I don’t have a lot of experience with being romantically attracted, but it doesn’t make me any more likely to want to cuddle, either.)

Basically: idemromantic = romantic and platonic are different, but they feel the same

If that sounds like you, great! If not, check out this glossary for some other aro-spectrum identities that might fit better. In particular, you might want to look into:

Grayromantic (grayro/gray-aro): experiences weak, infrequent, and/or uncertain romantic attraction; also an umbrella term for aro-spectrum folks who aren’t aromantic

Quoiromantic/Platoniromantic/WTFromantic: various terms for the feeling of “WTF even is romantic attraction?” Could also mean you simply have no interest in distinguishing between romantic and platonic feelings/relationships.

Alterous: refers to attraction that can’t sufficiently be described as romantic or platonic. Your experience might vary from one to another or hover in between, but in any case picking just one doesn’t feel right. [Can also replace “romantic” in your orientation, e.g. “I’m bi-alterous,” “He’s homo-alterous”]

Also, remember that it’s totally okay to try out more than one label until you figure out which one (or more!) fits. I mainly ID as idemromantic, sometimes as platoniromantic, and I’ll use grayro or even aro when talking to people who aren’t as familiar with aromanticism (as aro/grayro are slightly more intuitive concepts than the more specific arospec identities.)

[lgbtsupportlove]

What It Means To Be...

Idemsexual

Internally experiences sexual and platonic attraction similarly; categorizes relationships and feelings as sexual or platonic based on factors other than presence or lack of sexual attraction

Idemromantic

Internally experiences romantic and platonic attraction similarly; categorizes relationships and feelings as romantic or platonic based on factors other than presence or lack of romantic attraction

[ecalienni]

Happy Asexuality Awareness Week! Here are Eliza (my Nuzlocke OC), me, and N!

Enjoy! :D Please reblog!

[terra-kat]

I love being idemromantic.