Eden

I write too many thing I don't finish and can't sleep (He/she/they) 21

[drabbles-and-rambles]

I saw a post about Shane and Ilya being sad that they can't thank each other in their acceptance speeches like other can with their spouses and it got me thinking:

Ilya wins his first awards and hes got nobody he really wants to thank after his team and coach cause he he hates his family but he knows his speech is too short so on impulse he goes "And I want to thank Shane Hollander for being slightly worse than me this season". Everyone knows it was going to one of those two, so everyone thinks hes an asshole to say that but whats new so it works for him. But from then on it then becomes a bit for both of them to thank each other in their speeches in a snide way as a reason they won.

Shane winning the Art Ross Trophy (Awarded to the player who leads the league in total points at the end of the regular season). and going "special thanks to Rozanov for missing at least 5 shots this season, he was a huge help"

Ilya winning the Conn Smythe Trophy (Awarded to the most valuable player for his team in the playoffs.) "Just want to give a quick shout out to Hollander for getting knocked out in the second round this season. Must hate to see me up here."

They find a way to mention the other in their speeches every time all the time.

[shanehollandered]

and every time, they sit in their seats like

[technofinch]

I have GOT to stop spending $30

[atomikats]

curiouser and curiouser

[my-castles-crumbling]

okay stay with me for this one.

When Ilya moves to the Centaurs he doesn’t get to keep his number. Some old fuck on the team already has it and refuses to trade, no matter how much Ilya bribes him.

so, in true Ilya Rozanov fashion, he picks the number 24. People think he did it to be an asshole, which is true, but he also did it to have Shane with him all the time. Shane was both infuriated and touched by it.

but then of course, years later, SHANE transfers to Ottawa. And lo and behold, the old fuck who had number 81 retired, so when Shane has to choose a number?

81 is available.

so the first day of training, Shane walks into practice in a jersey that says Hollander, 81, with an absolutely shit-eating grin on his face.

and Ilya goes insane.

[perlukafarinn]

Canon divergent AU where Shane is a little more paranoid and when Hayden first comments on "Boston Lily", he decides he has to do something to break up the pattern and make it not so noticeable that he's got someone on Boston.

Not seeing Rozanov is not an option, so instead Shane picks out a few other cities to regularly go out by himself in. He'll go for a long walk, maybe sit down somewhere for a drink, and then catch a taxi back to the hotel an appropriate amount of time later. It's honestly pretty nice, unwinding by himself in this way, and now disappearing after games is not a thing specific to Boston! It's just another strange Hollander quirk!

Unfortunately, he fails to account for the guys on the team jumping on the most obvious explanation for all these disappearances, which is that Shane now has a girl in every port.

Word about this starts to spread quick, because it is so out of character for Shane, and pretty soon half the league is under the impression that he's some secret playboy.

Ilya is extremely not chill about this rumor.

[fractally]

I do love how despite Ilya being the one in active mental health treatment and having Romance Protagonist levels of insane trauma background Shane is 1000000% the crazier one between them. Like Ilya’s done shockingly well considering and sure he’s got some abandonment issues and some insecurities but he’s basically very functional and aware of his triggers. Shane I think would actually do a murder suicide in the right circumstances. Not shitpost Shane like canon Shane

[gremlinnddraws]

“I’m fond of lilies”.

This comic took me OUT so pls stare at it for a bit :D

[redstonedust]

normalize being dogshit amateur at your special interests and hyperfocuses. no more autistic savants. yes i am very into that topic no i am not good at it. we exist <3

[flywingsinajar]

insane pull tonight big fan

[youdontknowhowtodiequietly]

do we think kayleigh day was british irish or northern irish?

[idkimtiredanddumb]

You mean… do you mean … you mean northern Irish or from the republic (south) right? Right??

Either way her ghost is coming to smite you :/

[idkimtiredanddumb]

It’s the ‘don’t lose every single item in your possession ever exactly when you need them’ competition and I’m losing in a way no one has ever lost anything ever

« Wow » they say shuffling away nervously « are you sure it isn’t contagious « 

I am running in a circle begging an inanimate object to come back home to me.

[idkimtiredanddumb]

The duffer brothers were funny for drawing parallels between Vicky and Robin and Mike and will not because byler was real but because NEITHER of those ships was making it out like hilarious if it wasn’t so tragic

[hoechlinth]

yuna hollander said “fuck ilya rozanov” to her autistic son and had the audacity to be shocked when he followed her instructions to the letter

[animentality]

[orbitalmirror]

reblog if you're an actual person IRL who gets genuinely upset if you catch someone using ChatGPT and view it as a serious moral failing

[willgrahamscock]

I read one(1) problematic fanfiction and now I endorse all evil things in this world

[simkaye]

Anyone else feel like it’s been one of those days since 2019?

[heavenpierceher]

HOLD the fucking line NO christmas until dember

[heavenpierceher]

For every comment on this post with some bullshit about how christmas actually makes you happy and fuzzy inside so you can celebrate it whenever you want I’m going to go outside and kill an elf with a shotgun at point blank. Was it worth it?