This is my autism speaking

they/them, aroace || I have two brain cells, one is a depressed motherfucker and the other one is an excited toddler, and they're both playing tag in what's left of my brain || i love tags, tags are funny

[idontbrain]

Can I just say I love this YouTube series?

Like, genuinely, one of my favourite things, I have exams and I can't get it out of my head enough to learn.

Since the last episode I have been rewatching all the yt shorts. Elliot especially seems like a very tragic character and I honestly don't think it's surprising what he did to Pepper. The guy literally grew up learning that free will doesn't exist. It doesn't matter what you want or what you think, there's only one path and you have no choice in following it. He had no control over his life (or death) since besically forever.

What tf are we expecting from him, of course he would posses people. It kind of makes me wonder how many times he had his own autonomy taken away like this that it's just so normal for him to do it to others.

The other party may have had a genuine reason to leave him, but I do hope this one won't give up on him. He really needs some serious help.

In the end though, I don't think Elliot is evil. But I don't think he has enough agency to be anything at this point.

Don't get me wrong, I don't say this in the way that he's controlled every second of his life or that he has no personality of his own (he has very much personality), but more in the way that he was raised to be this.

He grew up being nothing more than a puppet to a greater force and he can't comprehend anyone being more than that. He lies as easy as he breaths and he probably doesn't sees nothing wrong with that either since is just a thing that needs to be done.

The one time he tried to find a way out of this, he did so by literally trying to end himself and all it did was solidify the "there is no other way" mindset.

He has his own personality, sure, but he never had a choice to be anything else than a tool to whatever thing controls him. He might like ice scream and celebrating a holiday he shouldn't and the people he's traveling with, but it the grand scheme of things, his personality and desires don't matter in the slightest. When things get serious, it doesn't matter who is Elliot, because Elliot is whatever he needs to be to his patron. Elliot was raised as a servent and he behaves as such.

The others may found him charming for now, but his entier... everything is really alarming for himself and everyone around him. He's not evil, but he was taught he's nothing of his own at all.

This is so fucked up, I love it.

I would also appreciated it if we could please stop traumatising Pepper, poor girl is just trying to enjoy her life.

P.S.: As always, this is just my vague understanding of a character I need to ramble about, so don't take it too seriously. After all, I don't know where this story is gonna end up, but I know I'm very excited to find out.

[idontbrain]

I made a quick drawing of Pomni in a traditional romanian costume yesterday and I decided I'm not doing anything on here anyway so why not post it.

Pomni looks very uncomfortable and a bit like she's being held at gun point. I fear this is not her usual scene. Sorry, Pom-Pom, next time I promise to give you a cool hat or something.

Never in my life I thought I would be doing a drawing trying to represent Romania, but ig working to bring TADC here managed to awaken the patriotism in me:')

Anyway, if you wanna check out how you can help bring TADC in Romania, go over to @canonically47 , especially on Twitter.

Good luck to all of you out there trying to bring this show into your own country! It's certainly a fight, but I find it a quite enjoyable experience :)

P.S.: I don't know how accurate the costume is, I never remember the fucking design these things have and Google is not helping.

[canonically47]

if you're a romanian tadc fan, please SIGN THE PETITION TO HAVE TADC: THE LAST ACT IN ROMANIAN CINEMAS!

if you want to, you can also EMAIL ROMANIAN DISTRIBUTORS to get it into theatres. the cinema chain cinema city has confirmed they have no control over their distributions and need a distributor to give them the movie. as such, please start emailing romanian distributors for their contribution!

below are two email models one could send to distributors, one in romanian and the other in english:

if you know any romanian tadc fans (or came across this post, congrats, you now know me) or want to help - better put, if you're an international fan, and not romanian - please SHARE THE PETITION! and if you'd like to help out with an english email, PLEASE DO!

please reblog this rather than liking it! <3

[idontbrain]

All the StrawHats are constantly like "You’re gonna live dammit!" to one another because every fucking 100 episodes at least one idiot will try to kill themselves for the others.

[idontbrain]

I did this some time ago and never got to posting it.

Ride the cyclone scratches something in my brain in the best way possible.

Monique, my beloved! She looks like she's gonna set her hair on fire. I love her.

Also, I'm proud as shit of that hand, so I skipped the elbow as a treat.

[sparkyskid]

THIS door

could NEVER open THIS direction

by simple logic of how door hinges work, and where doorknobs are placed.

But it also is not a simple animation mistake. When Jax brings out the keys, we see the inside of his door has a pattern on it, visible above his head. The door in the pink room does not have a pattern. The wall beside the door frame also doesn't match the pink room- There's a little arc in about the right place, but there is no light stripe. The arc next to the door in the pink room isn't the lightest colored thing on the wall, but the arc IS the lightest colored thing on Jax's wall.

I submit that because of the direction the door opens and the patterns on the door and wall do not match, the pink room CANNOT be Jax's room.

However there IS a door that CAN open that direction, might have "girly" decor, and would have pictures of Jax, Ribbit, and Kaufmo together.

We already know what Kaufmo's room looks like. Which means it must be Ribbit's.

[idontbrain]

Holy shit, here goes my sleep ig

You just gave me an existential crisis over a door

How tf does he teleport from there to his room tho? are the rooms connected?? Fuck is happening

[idontbrain]

I thought about the buttons scene a lot since the episode, especially because I don't quite believe in the Caine theory. I mean, I do think it's possible he pushed Jax over the edge, but even in that case I believe a lot of it was still just... Jax. Ignoring that theory tho: I have seen people that think Jax acted purely selfish, because he was scared to go back, and others that think he acted on impulse. I think two things can be true at once.

While it does seems like Jax doesn't want to leave, he still made the final decision in a state of blind panick.

He was already on the edge from the start of the episode, we know that very well. When Pomni explained what Abel said to them, he just handed them the keys and tried to go back in his room, he didn't even thought to go with them before Pomni asked him to.

He did helped them, sure, and he was quite invested in doing his part (going even beyond that by doing Zooble's part), but he didn't seemed very interested in the idea of getting out, per se. Probably, at that point, it didn't even sinked in for him that they were close to leaving, that it was actually happening. He treated more like an adventure up to that point.

When Zooble asked if he didn't have someone out there too, his brain took a moment to pause and be like "Holly shit, this is not an adventure, this actually might be real. Do you remember reality, Jax?". And we all know Jax loves nothing more than to run from reality.

Despite this fact, I want to point out that he wasn't trying to stop or sabotage them. He was growing increasingly more uneasy as they approached the room with the buttons, but he did nothing. Something out there scared him enough to prefer to stay trapped in the circus until his inevitable abstraction (that at this point even he knows it's pretty close), but he did nothing.

He then entered in a very time pressing, atmosphere heavy room.

Nonetheless, I believe that even if he had more time to think before he got in the room, he would have made the same decision, simply because Jax doesn't know how to deal with his own panick. His only chance of actually considering both decisions would have been if he confronted head on his own fears, but that required both time and a strength that at this point Jax simply lacks. At this point in his life, the only way he wasn't gonna press the red button would have been if there was less time to consider pressing the red button. And I believe he was quite aware of that too, at some level.

I think he tried his best to not think about it. I think he hold himself together as best as he knew how in that moment. I think Jax wanted to want to go back, so he tried to not think about all the reasons not to go back, but the moment he got a second alone with his own thoughts (in a very stressful environment, I might point out), that strategy went down the drain in a matter of seconds.

The argument between Pomni and the others simply allowed him just enough time to go from "building the panick in interior" to "breaking into panick on the outside".

And then, they found out it was, in fact, just an adventure.

And some people said he was laughing after because he revealed to the others that he would rather have them all suffering than confronting reality, all for nothing. But I wanna debate a bit on this take simply because he never had a problem with the others viewing him as the villain, to the point I would argue he actively seeks out to make them think the worst about him. Jax might said he's the funny one, but he goes out of his way to make the rest believe he's the villain.

I believe that in that moment, more than everything, he revealed to himself that he would rather die in that circus than confront reality. I think Jax just started to realise how pathetic he was and how he would have taken everyone down with him because of it. And all. for. nothing.

Or, yk, because Caine decided to play with them the "who you love more, mommy or daddy?" game, except mommy is a fucking kidnapper and daddy the abstract concept of freedom.

This was, all-around, just a very fucked up situation, happening to very fucked up people.

[idontbrain]

Ok, I'm actually gonna cut Jax some slack on this one, dude was way too out of it this episode

[idontbrain]

Ashley's (Zooble’s VA) tier list from like, three days ago (You can check up their livestreems on YouTube if you want!)

So maybe, just maybe, Ribbit is not a horrible abuser that "made" Jax like this? Maybe both them and Jax are complex characters that deserve to not be reduced to... well, archetypes?

We didn't even saw the fella existing on a screen yet, jeez; fandoms sure can be ruthless at times.

P.S.: Obliviously, headcanons exist and are valid, I just personally don't like the theory, but you do you bc you is great <3

[idontbrain]

Uh, I never liked drawing humanoid figures, but here we are, ig.

The hand that covers his mouth is my favourite part, partially because it freaks me out a bit and partially because of symbolism.

The way I see it, Jax's behaviour, besides the fact that hurts everyone around him, also results in hurting him and making him incapable of seeing another way. Either because he's too deep in his own archetype or because he just doesn't believe in it, the way he is now, he would probably die before asking for help simply because he can't see it as an actual possibility. And that's a very real thing that happens to people. The hand that covers his mouth is, in many ways, his own doing.

Anyway. Drawing humanoid things is hard. Fuck hands. And arms. And the rest of body parts. Hopefully, I can now put this hyperfixation on pause until the next episode.

[idontbrain]

No, bc I kind of get Jax.

I'm not the kind of person that hurts people to be funny, so, leaving that apart:

Vulnerability feels like suffocating. It feels like handing a loaded gun to a five year old and hopping you won't get shot.

Jokes are funny. Unreal, easy, not something the others will think about.

Jokes are safe.

You can speak about yourself all day and night, but the moment you let out something too close to yourself, something too real to be a joke...

It feels physically painful, it make you sick. It's not relief or happiness or even trust. It's just a feeling of completely and utterly danger.

And it doesn't go away with time because time is just the tension you live in expecting the moment your mistake gets you back.

You want to run away so fast, you would abandon your life if you could.

It's especially horrible with friends (because with strangers, they don't expect you to act in a certain way, they don't know you and you won't even see them tomorrow).

And you just feel so STUPID. Like, what the fuck got into you, why would you say that, you're not in a drama show, they will always have that over your head, nobody will respect you anymore, that was so cringe.

I think that's a big part of understanding a person like Jax: vulnerability feels so dangerous that you physically just can't. And if you do, then it just feels like you did the most stupid thing in the world... like you are the most stupid thing in the world.

I don't know how to explain it, but it dehumanizes you.

It's dehumanizing to the people around you as well, because you will apply the same "God, how stupid can you be to tell that out loud" to them.

I almost hope Jax gets a good ending, just so I can see that a good ending out of this exists.

Also, I did the archetype shit too back in, like, middle school (NOT my 20s, tho).

[idontbrain]

Jax is one reality check away from abstracting

[idontbrain]

I got a tablet :)

I'm not that big on art, but I like to draw weird creatures in my free time.

[idontbrain]

Ok, so, imagine a person A and person B, where person B is some kind of thing-machine that when gets hurt in any way literally stops working and smth in it is shattered in very small pieces.

And person A is blocked in time freezing type of shit until they "repair" person B (like they are literally person's B mechanic).

But the problem is, every time they put a wrong piece in, all the pieces fall back off, and they have to start again until they get it right. And person B shatteres in different ways every time.

So, person A ends up living dozens of years in the time freezer every time person B gets hurt, so they keep protecting them, because what else can they do.

Person A grows up to deeply resent person B for that, but can't tell them, or even hint at it, because a machine isn't supposed to know it's nature or it's mechanic and a mechanic isn't supposed to hurt a machine.

Idk, just random thoughts.

[idontbrain]

No, I'm not gonna "enjoy the meal" because if I feel the food touching my mouth more than I already do, I might throw up on your carpet. Believe me, it's not because you're a bad cook, it's because my brain woke up and chose violence.

So, yeah, I'm gonna keep shoving this shit down my throat like I'm a fucking garbage disposal and you would be fucking grateful for it.

Thank you, and goodnight. *mic drop*

[idontbrain]

Cuphead to Mugman, every time he bets BOTH of their souls: You live with me or die with me.

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Anyone else wandering how does that work exactly? Like, you can just bet another person soul, okay, but what are the limits? Does the person have to be there with you , or can it be, for example, in another country? Does it work with strangers, or just family members, or friends? I need answers

[idontbrain]

Mugman, after arriving in hell: So, you're telling me all I have to do is hang on this wall?

Devil: Yes, you will be stuck here forever, suffering!

Mugman: And you wouldn't blow me up with a rocket?

Devil: ... should i?

Mugman: And I don't need to keep anyone from accidentally killing themselves?

Devil: ...

Mugman: And you're NOT gonna make me feel bad for not wanting to jump off a cliff and then try to replace me with someone better?

Devil: Sorry what-

Henchman: * wandering if they should invest in a fucking therapist *

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Meanwhile, Cuphead: * ugly crying on the couch *