Hundreds of smiles

Sugar and spice and everything nice. Finland mentioned. Cute animals, teacher stuff, outfits, human rights... Filling these pages with things that caught my eye. Personal blog. ENFP.

[larehhh]

[hollyoakhill]

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

[dandraco]

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.

The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.

And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life. (Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)

At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.

And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as “Men bodies with boobs slapped on.”

And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.

And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.

And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.

TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

[humanpersonface]

YO. ALL OF THIS^. Michelangelo was hella grumpy all of the time. It was fantastic.

However, as beautiful as this commentary is, I’m gonna make a little correction. The Pope isn’t the one in hell getting his balls bitten; that guy is actually the Papal Minister of Ceremonies a the time, Biagio de Cesena. 

See, when Michelangelo was painting this, as you said, lots of people were uncomfortable with all of the nudity (especially because the Last Judgement [back wall mural] was painted much later when nudity in religious art was even more controversial than before), but the dude who was the angriest was de Cesena. 

He was so angry that he reportedly burst in on Michelangelo while he was working (which is already a big no-no because Michelangelo’s requirements for working were mostly “fuck the hell off and leave me alone or else I quit and I will stab you in the eye with my paintbrush/chisel”.). He then proceeds to tell Michelangelo that this fresco is disgusting and obscene and shame on him etc etc. He also referred to it as “i stui di nudi”, which means “A stew of nudes” which is one of the best descriptions of a thing ever, if you ask me. 

So Michelangelo, probably on the cusp of homicide is like “Thank you for the notes. Now get the fuck out,” and de Cesena reluctantly does. 

Later, he comes to see the finished product and finds that Michelangelo had painted his portrait down in Hell to represent the Minos, King of the Dead. He has the ears of an ass and the above described crotch biting snake:

Upon seeing this and being enraged, de Cesena went to the Pope to demand that it be changed and that Michelangelo be punished. However, the Pope was SO incredibly done dealing with Michelangelo’s snark, tantrums, and general hatred of the world and everyone in it, that he didn’t want to do shit. 

The Pope’s response to him was literally to say “As Pope, I have a lot of influence on Earth and up in Heaven, but I have no jurisdiction in Hell. You’re shit out of luck.” 

And it stayed.

Michelangelo, grade A artist, snark master, and professional dick.

[thecommonchick]

who can relate? 😂

[mysteerimiksutin]

Me ollaan täytettyjä sämpylöitä kaikki, kun oikein silmiin katsotaan.

[lesbonorppa]

Mitä Uolevi tekee, kun se jää auton alle?

- Kuolevi.

Mitä Uolevi tekee, kun se harrastaa seksiä?

- Nuolevi.

[octobaba]

Mitä Uolevi tekee kun aavistelee pahaa? - Huolevi

[kestovitutus]

Mitä Uolevi tekee verstaalla? -Vuolevi

[ristiinrastiinnaulittu]

Mitä Uolevi tekee kuullessaan Uolevi-vitseistä?

Itkee

[latiox]

[legs-are-just-for-show]

VIDEO GAMES ARE SAVED

[colorsplash]

game of the year

[75orchids]

I have seen the face of god

[secondhandsympathy-deactivated2]

This is the 6 IV Rowlet of Prosperity. Reblog and 2017 won’t be absolute shit

[sanguineswanqueen]

💗Reblog if u support these lesbian swans 💗

[love-this-pic-dot-com]

Morse Code A Visual Guide

[crystalinecoyote]

sammiwolfe important to our lives lol XD

[jankydog]

Oh oh my god now Morse code actually makes SENSE when you lay it out like that

[revysprite-deactivated20170502]

Awesome!!

[ironykins]

This is also nice, if you want to decode morse code quickly. 

[goldendragon22]

that avl tree though

[ironykins]

That’s not a coincidence! Naturally, it’s less work to transmit shorter sequences of dots and dashes, so we try to use up all the shorter sequences first. Basically, this means that we fill in all the branches at one level of this tree before moving onto the next. The result is a perfectly balanced decoding tree. 

The placement of the letters is also far from arbitrary. Here are all the letters in English ordered from most common to least common: 

ETAOINSRHLDCUMFPGWYBVKXJQZ

Notice something? The shortest morse code sequences were assigned to the most common letters. This makes the common letters easier to remember, and makes messages as short as possible in the average case.

Numbers are sort of an exception to this. All numerical symbols are encoded with 5 dots and dashes. But there’s a pretty clear pattern to these as well. 

1 = .—-

2 = ..—

3 = …–

4 = ….-

5 = …..

6 = -….

7 = –…

8 = —..

9 = —-.

0 = —–

So if the listener hears a series of 5 dots and dashes, they immediately know it’s a number. To decode it, they count the number of dashes. If the dashes came before the dots, the number is 5 + the number of dashes. Otherwise, the number is 5 - the number of dashes. 

Morse Code is neat.

[oldadastra]

Because this might be useful for a project I’m working on.

[camwyn]

Worth noting, if you’re trying to learn Morse, there are a number of smartphone apps that’ll help you with it. I’m currently using one for Android called Morse Toad, which uses both sound and a flashing image on the screen to teach you how to listen and look for the letters. It’s not the most sophisticated- it doesn’t teach you to key in Morse, just to interpret it- but it’s a start.

[his-shining-tears]

BONUS : 

[fallcaesar]

Santa is on strike due to global warming.  All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger.  Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

“MUST BRING PRESENTS TO GOOD CHILDREN”

“Yes good”

“AND EAT THE BAD ONES”

“Wait no”

“EAT THEM”

“sasha no”

[tolkientrash]

@burstofhope the Christmas tiger is watching

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

She is making a list

It is not easy with her paws but she is making it

[breelandwalker]

-immediately buys raw steaks for Santa Claws-

[gentlesharks]

Rather than swim, Epaulette sharks often “walk” by using their pectoral fins as a pair of rudimentary legs. 

[rihannadellorusso]

After being rejected by countless agencies who “already have a black model”, Liberian model Deddeh Howard teamed up with photographer Raffael Dickreuter to meticulously recreate high-profile campaigns by the likes of Gucci and Dior in a photo series titled ‘Black Mirror’ - aiming to draw attention to the fashion industry’s need for diversity.

[pinkcheesegreenghost-deactivate]

Deddeh Howard!

[1994lrw-deactivated20200124]

wow. shes so beautiful.

[alltheladiesyouhate]

do you ever watch something and think “this was written by a man”

[humanbeanisnotamused]

i was up late night watching an episode of criminal minds fairly recently, for lack of a better thing to do. in the opening scene there are these two girls getting into their car in like a supermarket parking lot, not very well lit, in the middle of the night. another car drives up right behind theirs and won’t move out of the way so this one girl is like “im gonna go see what this guy’s problem is” and gets out of the car, in a poorly lit parking lot, to confront a man who was behaving aggressively to them.

so that was the precise moment i realised that episode was written by a man.

[outcider]

I was watching an episode of CSI where the entire reason they were going forward with the case was that ‘no woman would wear a bra this expensive without also wearing the matching panties’.  What porn logic is this?  I was, at that moment, wearing the exact bra the Jane Doe was wearing and fuck no I didn’t spring for the matching panties.  Even if I did, I wouldn’t wear them as often as a bra.  Panties I wash daily.  Bras? Not so much.

But in CSI World, police resources were being mobilized on how irregular it would be for a woman to wear a $36 bra, but not caring about how she would look in just underthings.

[tiger-in-the-flightdeck]

Never mind not matching, but that they think $36 is expensive for a bra is probably the number one sign it was written by a man.

[jackymedan]

[caffeinated-transpression]

oK But thisss

European raven

Turkish raven

North African raven

Himalayan raven

Western (American) raven

AUSTRALIAN RAVEN

look at it look at that weird birb it doesn’t know how to raven

[melredcap]

Well that would be because here you have your Eurasian or Common Magpie:

and then you have your black-billed or American Magpie (photo via onthewingphotography.com  and damn isn’t that pretty):

You’ve got your Korean Magpie (image via kurtzesinkorea.wordpress.com)… you should be seeing a theme here by now:

Then you have the various oriental (blue or green) magpies, and there’s a couple of azure-winged magpies as well. Smallish, pretty birds; all corvids, which means they’re probably fairly intelligent and like shiny things.

And then there’s the Australian magpie, which is a violent red-eyed insane butcherbird, which means it’s extremely intelligent and likes murder.

WE HAVE DERPY CROWS BECAUSE THE MAGPIES ALREADY TOOK THE ‘OMINOUS BIRD OF DOOM’ SLOT, OKAY?!