Drowning

We are the greatest pretenders in the cold morning light Kim Sejun. Atlas' Sol.

[idsejun]

be humble.

{filming for dancing9′s first episode}

when sejun had heard about dancing9 and the possibility of joining, honestly he couldn’t stop badgering his company about it. while he’s grown used to variety shows and has even stopped feeling as anxious as he used to back in the day, there’s still small part of him that worries about his image, about the way the fans will react to him being himself in front of so many cameras. vlives are easy. it’s easy to control the kind of content he’s providing, allows for more of a fan interaction that he adores. but an opportunity like dancing9? not something he could pass up at all.

he barely was able to restrain himself until talks between the company and the production team started before he was throwing himself into extra practices. while he loves singing, is comfortable with the way his voice sounds and enjoys standing on stage and performing for fans. dancing is something he’s in love with, is confident and proud of his skills in. and it’s been a while since he was able to focus on just the song, the beat and the way it makes his body move without worrying about words to go along with it.

while he knew what to expect, he still wasn’t expecting the barrage of cameras he encounters when stepping into the practice room. he clears his throat awkwardly and sets his stuff down on the couch in the corner. sejun starts to stretch, biting on his bottom lip while trying to avoid looking directly into the cameras. the crew is friendly, quickly introducing themselves and smiling at him. it helps sejun to feel less nervous as time ticks by, allows for his shoulders to finally begin to relax as they finish setting up a few pieces of sound equipment. and suddenly, they’re starting.

the music starts, a controlled voice dropping short and strong lyrics over a beat that hits him straight into the chest. a shiver runs down his chest and he hops in place a few times, in time with the music in chance to warm up and build up his confidence. it isn’t long before he’s following along to the tempo of the song, the beat addictive in the way he allows his limbs to move freely, a marionette free of his strings. it isn’t long before everything around him fades away, leaving the air to feel like just another afternoon in the practice room, sejun alone with the music. and by now his movements are second nature, it’s easy to fall in line, to fall in love with the music.

he bites into his bottom lip, barely concealing a cocky smile before it’s splitting at the seams and he can longer control the feeling of pride that wells up through his body as he goes through moves he would have considered difficult a matter of years ago. the time and dedication he’s put into his body evident in the control he has over his limbs, the way he can be carefree as he quickly twists his feet, kicking out in a style resembling the way he’d seen a few dancers lose themselves to house music a few weeks ago online. time seems to fly back and he doesn’t really come back into the moment until the room is no longer swelling with the sound of music and all he can hear is his heavy breathing, his chest heaving. looking around him, he fights the urge to cover his face and instead smiles widely at the cameras and crew, eyes all focused on him.

they run through a few other songs sejun favors before their time together is quickly over. the producer is quick to ensure him that they got all they needed, smiles widely at him saying he’s excited about the show, tells sejun he has a lot of stiff competition and the fans are already blowing up over articles revealing contestants.

the thought of competition fires him sejun up. it helps him stay energetic and focused for the next few weeks as he stumbles through interview questions and  the little bit of anxiety of performing in front of the captains.

[idsejun]

fractures.

@idyujin

for as many things as kim sejun is willing to admit to friends, to reporters, to strangers, his habit of falling in love too quickly wasn’t one of them. that was something he kept close, buried it in the chest and locked it up tight. because for each love, each crush, as magnificent as they were and no matter how they left him feeling full and warm. but they never lasted, lighting up his sky like fireworks before fizzling out and leaving him feeling nothing but dark and cold.

you’d figure that by now he’d be used to it, would try to avoid feelings like this and instead focus on other things like music or his career. but, of course not, because that would be far too easy and honestly sejun never does anything the easy way. if he did, he wouldn’t be in this mess.

he never plans it, never looks at someone and wishes he could fall in love with them. no, instead if sneaks up on him like a wave crashing overhead, wrapping around him and dragging down beneath the depths until he’s too far under and not getting out anytime soon.

roommates was a beautiful disaster, a chance for him to get out from beneath the shelter of his members’ wings. and for as much fun as he had, it was hard. hard for sejun to put himself out there, to actually speak and ask for the things he wanted, to share his memories and thoughts with cameras cataloging his every moment. the first few hours, days were hard and he fought against every instinct to stare at the cameras, to learn where they all were, and to avoid those spots, a task absolutely impossible. but yujin? she was surprising. she was someone who drew him out of his shell, had made the experience a lot easier for him. and before he knew it, there was something soft and sweet growing in his chest, throbbing everytime they met eyes and she smiled at him. and before he knew it, the entire experience was over and he expected his feelings to fade like they always did. sejun expected the distance between them to help.

but he knows that nothing he expects ever quite turns out the right away. so instead of fading away, it grows slowly but surely, without him realizing it. until he learns they’ll be seeing each other again, both participating on dancing9, though on the opposing teams. he couldn’t help but to think about their friendship, the moments they shared on roommates.

and before he realizes it, sejun is digging his phone out of his pocket and shooting off a text to yujin. he teases her, promising her that he’s going to crush her so hard she’ll wish that she never joined the show. and then with more courage that he knows he has, he suggests meeting up, wanting to catch up.

the coffee shop is empty when he enters, the late hour almost ensuring anonymity for anyone daring to venture out in the frigid weather. sejun nuzzles down into his coat and stares at the menu, trying to figure out what he can get away with. he settles on a hot chocolate and exchanges a few words with the exhausted barista behind the counter, stepping away to grab a table in the back before slumping in the chair, a little bit tired from spending too many hours awake and in the practice rooms.

[idsejun]

threnody.

[idsejun]

idtaekyoon‌:

[...]

but, alas, young taekyoon was still a bit drunk, and with that fact meant he was bound to act a little more stupid than usual. just as he passed a corner, he stopped dead in his tracks, his mouth gaping in the slightest, staring at the lounging kim sejun for at least a few seconds before opening his mouth so say something. anything. “uh,” he started, his voice cracking a little. ( off to a wonderful start. ) “sejun, hey. i didn’t really expect to see you here tonight.” ( he wouldn’t have expected to see you here either, genius. christ. )

while the darkened side of the club was a good breath of relief, at the same time it left just the right amount of space for a pause, a breath, and for boredom to come sneaking in. the energy sejun had been feeling earlier from dancing drops off almost instantly, instead his body warmed and heavy with the nice buzz he has going.

sitting up, he toys around with the shot glass, fingers running over the emblazoned gold logo of the club. sejun loses himself in the movement of the glass, eyes glued as he makes a game of it, juggling the fragile glass between two hands never minding the what-if’s. honestly the thought of possibly dropping it, of shattered glass, never crosses his mind. and lately he feels like that’s how his life has been going, so much movement without a worry for what happens next, for what would happen if he just stops everything. sejun shakes his head slightly, moving to slam the glass down on the nearest table, forgetting the worries as they start to invade. because those are thoughts for a sober sejun, a drunk sejun has no time for anything like that.

and maybe there’s a time and a place for everything. and as sejun hears the familiar drawl of taekyoon’s voice, clear here in this little secluded corner, safe from the resonating music around them. it sends a shiver down his spine, and sejun, free from the usual worries that would begin to haunt him now, drunk and set on continuing his buzz, leans back in the chair and smiles up widely at taekyoon. “heyyy,” he drawls out the word, throat sticky with peach and limbs still struggling with the heavy feeling. “fancy seeing you here.” the words come out light, and it’s been a while since they’ve seen each other face to face, without the hands of managers and members directing their movements, without the heavy heat of stage lights and company employees fluttering around them.

and maybe, in a setting like this, free from prying eyes and worries, sejun feels a little bit more comfortable in his skin than he usually would. but there’s still the hazy awkward feeling that settles over him. he struggles with what to do, what to say next. instead he falls into old habits, begins to chew at his bottom lip as he wracks his brain. if he thought about running into taekyoon, it never would have been in a place like this. maybe the convenience store or a meet up with other idols. but in a club? never. but then again, a few months ago sejun probably wouldn’t have been the type to venture out like this by himself. but at the same time, it’d been so long since he had the chance to lose himself in the music, that he couldn’t help but take the chance when it presented itself. sitting here staring at taekyoon, he wonders if maybe he should regret it a little bit.

[archivedidjowi-blog]

body.

[idsejun]

idjowi‌:

[...]

“first, salt,” she murmurs with quirked lips, leans up to lick it from his skin, retreats to toss the shot back, nose scrunching. “then shot, then,” she pushes up to her toes, bites into the lime, lips pressed together, the taste of it sour on her tongue before she leans back once more, sets the items to the side. “easy, right?” she lets her gaze trail over him, “if you wanna level up, you could take your shirt off and lay down.” 

and right there, that’s the kicker isn’t it? because when did kim sejun figure out that there was something more to him that awkward limbs and knobby knees. he remembers the times he’s spent hiding behind the other members, cursing his shy personality to hell and back and wishing he had the confidence he’s seen other idols wear around their shoulders like an invisible cape. and if he’s being honest, he has no idea when it started. it just felt like between one day and the next he woke up suddenly feeling comfortable in his skin, like the hours he’s put into the gym and practice with milo, the laidback nature he’s picked up from jaekyu, and the piles of clothes yohan has shoved at him from an early age, suddenly have melded him into this person you’d actually believe to be an idol.

but there’s no hint of who he used to be in his stance, not as laughter bubbles up in this throat before escaping. “that’s a good question. i guess the answer is always.” his grins falls into a smile, just shy of appearing cocky. which gets overshadowed by the bite he delivers to his own lips, eyes watching her movement. he feels a shiver run down his spine as her hands unbutton the top of his shirt, eyebrow quirking but quickly falling victim to her ministrations. a kiss, and goosebumps slowly build, trailing over his skin.

this? all of this is new territory for him. he’s no stranger to hands on his body, to linger kisses pressed into the dips and curves of his body. but to be gazing back at jowi and experiencing this? it’s new, it’s different, it’s a little bit exhilirating. he thinks for just a moment about how yohan is going to kill him, but at the same time he’s angry and drunk and he doesn’t give a fuck anymore.

sejun gingerly takes the lime between his teeth and fights the shiver that crawls over his skin at the feeling of her tongue, warmth blooming for a moment before the cold air settles where she had been. there’s a challenge in her voice, hinting in her gaze and kim sejun hates backing down from a challenge. tilting his head to the side, pushing all thoughts aside he meets her gaze and nods. “you know i’m always willing to lend a hand, to make things easier.” and then he loses the hat, and his own fingertips are sliding down to the hem of his shirt before it’s up and off. the fabric pooling on of the bartop. “anything else, i can do to help?” his tone is cocky, teasing, and filled with anticipation.

[idsejun]

hey! so i’m officially back from hiatus and wanted to apologize for being rather spotty/inactive the last few months! irl things were a bit more demanding than i thought. i’m going to message those that i owe in the ims but in the meantime, i am looking for more plots! i have a plots page here for sejun. just like this post if you’re interested and i will come to you, i also promise to write all starters if that helps! 

[idsejun]

hey guys, i just wanted to let everyone know that i’m going to be going on a really small hiatus. there’s been a lot of stuff going on in my personal life including a small scare with my family (everything’s fine now!) but i just kind of need a little bit of time to myself to sort of recover from that. i also wanted to take a second to really say how sorry i am for how flakey i’ve been for the past few weeks (months?). this time of year is always really hard for me and i really appreciate everyone whose been really supportive and understanding. i really love id and you guys a lot so thank you for being awesome and i’ll see you in a week or so <3 

[idsejun]

somebody else.

{a cold winters’ night, years ago @idyerin}

there’s something about winter that calls to sejun, reminds him of home when his parents would drag him and his brother through these ridiculous traditions they had started when they first got married. he used to think they were dumb, would whine and complain about having to participate. but now he misses them more than he ever thought he would. but living in the past isn’t healthy, had learned a long time ago it’s okay to remember but it’s also okay to make new traditions and new memories.

he’s excited for tonight, had been buzzing around all day in anticipation for what was to come. it wasn’t probably the best idea but sejun has never been good at hiding his thoughts or feelings, too often having it written across his face for everyone to see. staff had been bugging him all day, asking him what he was so excited for, leaving him to make up dumb excuses to escape their nosy questions, everything about being excited for lunch to dance practice. they’re dumb reasons, completely transparent but it seemed to work in his favor, giving him a little reprieve before starting up again.

and so by the end of the day, he learned to keep it all contained, to act exhausted by the time they had made it to the dorms. and finally when a sleepy lull had settled over the apartment, he had gotten up quickly, had managed to get ready and slide through the door without anyone catching him.

the streets of seoul weren’t quiet in the slightest. there was something about winter that drew people from their homes despite the freezing cold. like the air, filled with street lights and clouds from the breath of strangers, held some kind of magic.

sejun dodges another drunken businessman, madly waving his arms as he explains something to his coworkers, tie wrapped tightly around his forehead. it causes sejun to laugh under his breath, thankful for the mask that covers his face and the large black coat that’s keeping him warm. with his phone in hand, he navigates through the streets easily, stopping on the corner they had talked about the night before. while he waits, he rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet, eyes darting through the crowds, hoping he’ll spy sight of yerin. the market in front of him is bustling, vendors shouting out about food and gifts for the holiday season. it had been years since sejun has even had time to do something like this, let alone with someone that makes his heart race a little bit with nerves.

[idsejun]

strings.

{doing a vlive broadcast (+5)}

in the beginning, the idea of performing on vlive whether alone or with his members set him on edge. he loved the idea he could use it was a method for interacting with fans from all around the world and could read their comments. but the idea of it being live, that he could mess up in some way and then it would be in front of thousands of people maybe more. that, that idea in itself is what sent shivers down his back. because sejun could be a little bit entertaining with his members, could crack jokes every now and again, could be a little bit goofy. but alone? would he be entertaining enough alone to entice the fans?

and so he dug his feet in and held off as long as he could; let the other members go first and hoped he could learn from their example. but of course it didn’t take long for fans to question where certain members were. and rather than wait for management to gently prod him into doing one, sejun decided to bite the bullet and take the initiative.

and thus began, sejun’s adventure on vlive. the first one had been a bit of a rough start to say the least, or so he thought. he planned nothing, instead sat down with a bowl full of spicy ramen and his speaker system, intending to only last as long as he food lasted him. but what he thought would be a 20 minute vlive, turned into over an hour of him really getting a chance to fully interact with the fans in a way he never thought he would enjoy.

nowadays it’s more of a game, something he likes to surprise the world with, interactions that are wholeheartedly pure and never planned. today, however, was a little bit different. he had been stealing snippets of time between schedules, curled up in his room in the dorm, practicing for months for tonight.

as sejun sets up the camera and moves quickly, picking up clothes and miscellaneous items off of the floor around the hotel room, he feels his stomach begin to twist and turn. nerves and anxiety settle there and a cold sweat begins to trickle down his spine. it’s silly, how nervous he is for something like this. and while the fans like to joke that he’s golden, easily conquering things he sets his mind on, he knows the truth. he knows that he’s practiced for hours to tackle things he’s attempted, wanting desperately too be good at it, allowed his competitive nature, the drive to push him further and further. so while it looks effortless, nothing ever truly is.

sejun is proficient in his movements, familiar with handling equipment. he settles down into a chair at the room’s table and settles back into the uncomfortable cushions as he opens the room and watches the small number of fans grow. the barrage of comments on the side help to settle his nerves as sejuns falls into the familiar routine. the greeting, the flashing of comfortable smiles, the jokes, the hearts, the pure enjoyment of it. he almost forgets, catches a glimpse of the guitar out of the corner of his eye. he expects to chicken out, to let the fear and nerves drive him from even mentioning it. but the calm atmosphere only encourages him, to draw it out, to introduce his interest and efforts, and to show off the work he put in, the strides he made.

of course what starts off as serious ends up in him toying around, making elaborate faces while strumming easily on the guitar. and by the end of the live, he’s giggling to himself as he shuts off the camera wondering why he was ever nervous in the first place.

[gukiejjk]

angel

[idsejun]

threnody.

{a chance encounter with @idtaekyoon}

sejun feels his eyes falling closed as he continues to move along with the heavy beat that falls over the club, the bass resonating from his chest and fueling his bones to keep moving. it’s been a long time since he’s had fun like this, a moment to just drop the mantle and breathe free. he’s lost track of the amount of dance partner’s he’s had, moving through the crowd and changing hands with a change of songs. he’s hot, sweaty, and feels his shirt sticking to the swell skin of his back. plucking at his t-shirt, he fans his chest and pulls himself back from his latest dancing partner, an apologetic smile gracing his lips.

crossing the floor, he heads straight for the bar, intending to continue the pleasant warmth that had settled over him. sejun leans against the slightly sticky and wet bartop, scrunching his nose in disgust as he flags down the bartender. while he waits, his fingers drum against the wood and although he left the dance floor behind, his body continues to slightly bob along with the music. it seems like only moments before two shots are slid closer to him. he grins at the bartender and quickly down one of the shots. he leaves it behind as he pushes himself away from the counter and lets his eyes rove over the floor, planning out his next move.

it’s his luck though that his eyes meet a set of familiar ones in the crowd, but sejun doesn’t have time for feelings, not when his limbs are loose and heavy, not when his mouth is tart with the taste of peach soju. no, he doesn’t have time for any of that. instead, he ducks down, a bit harder for someone with his height and heads to an empty set of arm chairs tucked up against the wall in the darker part of the club. he throws himself down into the plush fabric and stretches out until his legs are hanging on the side of the arm, before downing the other shot. the taste is tangy and his buzz seems to deepen more and sejun leans his head back against the plush of the chair. the bad part of staying still, is it opens him up to the chance to run into anyone that might be happening by. but drunk sejun never did make the best decisions.

[archivedidjowi-blog]

body.

[idsejun]

idjowi‌:

[...]

“it’s called a body shot.” she informs him sagely, a twinkle of mischief in her gaze as she turns towards him. “do i have your consent?” she widens her eyes innocent and sweet.

so maybe sejun’s easy to read, lets all of his thoughts and emotions rise and fall over his face. but it’s hard, to resist giving into old habits when they die hard. the pleasant buzz he built up continues to burn through him, liquid courage turning his veins like melted gold. he slides closer to her, leaning his body weight on the edge of the wooden bar, his legs feeling a little bit unstable.

they are far from strangers. when he thinks back to his memories of atlas and his career, there are a handful of people that move in and out like moons caught in the orbit of atlas, waxing and waning in as the years crawl by. he’s shared a lot more than words with jowi, fainlty remembers matching teasing grins and intoxicating laughter that clutches to their shared group interactions like a foggy haze that makes moments just that much better.

and when sejun lifts his gaze to meet her eyes, he feels something inside of him shift over just slightly. this is something different, a different type of smile that he didn’t realize that she was capable of, like the predator staring into the face of the prey the moment right before the jaw snaps over their neck. and sejun should feel something, should feel guilt, should feel nervous, but he feels warm, feels comfortable. and his mouth twists at the corners until it morphs into a cheshire grin directed her way.

“of course, i do.” there’s some small thrill that comes with succeeding, to beat everyone vying for the same thing. “and it seems like you’re just the one person who can help me do just that.” the cat costume is fitting, especially the way jowi controls her body, gazing up through her lashes and tangling their fingers lightly. it catches him off guard for just a moment but he knows well what that look reads, she’s the cat and he’s the pretty canary. he should turn her away but where is the fun in that. “body shots, you say?” he leans forward with his free hand, fingers lightly jingling the bell and bow cinched at her neck. the color is pretty and it suits the color of her skin well.

“i wouldn’t be a good kiki, if i said no to my familiar, would i? and it just so happens that i have the perfect body for those,” he’s not bluffing, the hours he put into sculpting his body, the strength he feels tackling complicated dances while his vocals remain steady are a testament to just that. he barely knows what a body shot actually entails, faint memories of moments caught in a movie or two. he tilts his head to the side and jerks it slightly to the side, a clear sign of his confusion. but he covers it up quickly, grin growing again. “it sounds fun. let’s do it."

[archivedidjowi-blog]

body.

[idsejun]

idjowi‌:

[...]

“hey, sejunnie,” she laughs out, reaches a hand up to pat his cheek affectionately. “you wanna earn some points in this game?” one brow perks upwards, and the feline grin on her lips is only accentuated by the whiskers painted in feathered strokes against her cheeks. 

the atmosphere of the club is both overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time.

honestly he had every intention of celebrating the evening in sweatpants with a pizza and a new anime to keep him company. but every year sejun digs in his heels and says no, but once night falls he gets swept in as easily as he always does. there’s some type of darkness in the air that entices him out of the house and ignites excitement in him that he thought had no room for. and by the time he dons a costume and paints his face in the subtle makeup for the evening, he finds a smile on his face and the thrill of the night coursing through his veins.

the dim lights and pulsing music drags him easily as sejun loses himself into the music and thrall of the crowd. attendants with drinks pass through occasionally and he finds himself losing count of how many drinks he’s down, doesn’t care how many, just loves the warmth that’s settled into his veins. he feels his worries drain away and nothing is as important as the beat and the way his body moves to it, like a marionette at the mercy of its strings. he shares dance after dance with both familiar and unfamiliar faces until he feels the sweat begin to slide down the back of his neck and almost loses his hat in the chaos.

pulling himself out of the crowd, he stops for a moment enjoying the chance to rest and breathe for a moment when he finds his attention drawn away to the sight of everyone on their phones. and from there the chaotic rush begins, leaving him watching half confused and half amused as his own phone begins to vibrate. dares? he chuckles to himself as he makes his way to the bar. what probably would seem a bit childish any other time, has upped the ante to an evening that seemed relatively tame otherwise and who was sejun to deny the fun?

intent on getting a drink before participating, he raises his hand to flag down the bartender but stops when he feels the heat of another body bumping into his. imagine his surprise to find jowi with bells and a drink in hand, her touch burning against the skin. maybe it’s the unknown number of drinks he’s had or maybe it’s the uncaring attitude halloween always leaves him with. but sejun doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t think twice about leaning into jowi’s space. he knows well the history of her relationship with the other atlas members, clearly knows what she means to one or two of them. but at the same time, he finds that he doesn’t care right now.

disregarding the fact he isn’t sure what that means, sejun gives into her infectious grin, to the pat on his cheek and grins widely in response. “fuck yeah, i do.” he’s competitive by nature and any chance to win, no matter what it is, always entices him.

[idsejun]

“...so every lonely night, i sing this song”                                                               -- kim sejun, witch boy 

[idsejun]

hey guys i’m sorry i’m late to the party i just got back from a little birthday festivities thing! but yes hi i’m really excited for the re-opening of id! pls plot with me all of you (i mean that literally!) you can find links for sejun’s: bio, plots, profile here! i’m probably better reached on discord ( @ rai! ♡#3252) but tumblr ims works well too! let’s plot and be friends okay? 

[idsejun]

sweatpants.

@idjowi

sejun knows that he doesn’t always have the best ideas. and maybe lying to managers, his members, and sneaking out of the hotel was definitely not the right move. but they’re in LA, and he’s a young successful guy and sometimes he just wants to forget who he is back home and just be kim sejun without any strings attached.

honestly it was all too easy to pick out one of his nicest outfits, to blend in with the crowds coming and going from the hotel and get lost in the crowds. he keeps his head down as he wanders through the streets of downtown LA taking in the sights of people in their everyday lives, the scent of the food that wafts through every corner, a medley of delicious restaurants boasting a variety of foods from every corner of the world. and this is what sejun always thinks, dreams about when it comes to LA. so much like seoul but yet so laid back, so casual in their movement like there’s all the time in the world.

maybe it’s his good mood or maybe its the two shots he took before leaving the hotel room, but even on the city streets, kim sejun can’t resist the siren song of music. he feels the thumping beats before the club comes into view, the line of people trying to get in already wrapping around the building. and without a plan, without a worry, he steps up, taking his place in line behind a group of energetic and bouncing college students. it’s all seems way too easy. he gets in easier than he anticipates, little to no words exchanged except for a flash of a smile to the girl at the front door and the imposing bouncer beside her.

it isn’t until he’s inside that he realizes the brick and morter of the building were doing a spectacular job of keeping the lights, the sounds, the intensity so well contained. that the music flooding the streets and surrounding alleyways was nothing but a tiny glimpse, a fragment of what was really going on inside.

it’s easy to lose himself in it all, into the drinks, the music, the trembling of bodies on the dance floor. and for the first time in forever, he dances for himself, for the pure joy of moving his body without any instructions, without sharp movements he’s been known for. and minutes, maybe hours pass and he forgets the worries and stress he’s been carrying on his shoulders for weeks now. he forgets about the giant rifts and gouges that have been making their way through atlas, dividing them. he forgets about his soft heart, pass bruises that still tingle like phantom touches, and for once he just is.

[idsejun]

just dance.

sejun knows full well that everyday can’t be perfect, that there are always bumps in the road, twists and turns that he never expects. and truthfully he also knows that he has no room to complain. he lives a life that many dream about, has a successful career which he knows that most people his age can’t say at all. but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t come with it’s own kind of sacrifices, commitments that seem to drain him of mind, body, and soul.

he can at least say that it’s been a while since things were this bad. all day it seems like bad luck has hung over his shoulder like a curse, a perpetual rainy cloud soaking just him. for everything he does is less than perfect, a fumbling mess both physically and with words. a night of no sleep had led to him scrambling to remember his lines for a simple cf, one where all he had to do was stand there and hold something, a phone, a soda, really anything. but instead his fingers continuously lost grip of it until the director, angry and filled with frustration, took it away from him. a simple shoot that should have lasted a few minutes at most took over an hour, leaving his members to waste their precious free time in between schedules on just this one shoot.

and the day continued in the same fashion, messing up dance steps he usually boasts that he knows like the back of his hand. his voice cracking during live rehearsals with fans watching. you name it, it happened. and although kim sejun likes to believe he’s postiive overall, this day has left him feeling anything but.

now in the safety of the practice rooms, he sinks down in front of the mirrors, knees clutched tightly to his chest. he had excused himself out of a company dinner earlier with the excuse of a stomach ache and had tried not to flinch when no one had stopped him. feeling less than glamorous with a hole somewhere in his armor, he knows there’s only one thing that can help in ending his day on a positive note. and that is sejoo, an unassuming friendship that became one of his most precious.

fishing his phone out of his pocket, he quickly types out a message a desperate request to meet at their usual spot, an s.o.s. sent out in hopes that sejoo can make time to meet with him.

[>> the better se: today sucks. joo, ramen in the park?]

@idsejoo

[idolizerp]

IDOLIZE EXCLUSIVE MEME 09.23 - 10.20

Here you go, it’s our second meme! Please keep in mind the standard meme etiquette — reblog to participate, give as much as (more!) than you receive, send to everyone who reblogs, etc. Meme replies are not eligible for activity, but are a great way to think through your muse a bit, or show off some aspects of development you haven’t had a chance to reveal yet.  For every response to a meme questions that is 250+ words, you’re eligible to add +2 EXP to your points page! This does not include duplicate answers to the same prompt, but you’re welcome to answer more than once. 

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