I Feel the Blame

Chronically ill, unapologetically queer, and ready to kick ass. Posting the shit that makes me feel alive and encouraging empathy and compassion.

[ifeeltheblame]

Hello There

Welcome to my corner of Tumblr. 

For all intents and purposes, my name is Olliver Spoone, my pronouns are he/they and x/xyr, and I run this blog under the strict supervision of my cat and beloved liege, Lady Nora. 

I post a variety of content that takes my fancy, but some common things about the blog and how I organize things are as follows:

Image descriptions and accessibility are very important to me, and I try to find image descriptions for everything I reblog. On the occasions where there aren’t, I will tag “undescribed” or “untranscribed” in the case of video transcriptions. I am hard-of-hearing, so I have a harder time doing those. Videos are also always tagged as “video” if that’s something you want to filter. 

I consistently try to tag things. This is for organizational purposes as well as to denote potentially triggering content. When trends are going around (example: live reaction slug), I will likely create a tag specifically for it if you want to filter. When I am unsure about a specific thing, I will usually still stick it in the tags by name even if it isn’t denoted specifically with “tw” or “cw.” For example, art that has generally spooky or darker undertones is tagged “horror” and all food is tagged “food” if those are things you would like to filter. I also try not to reblog nsfw stuff for this blog, but I am one of those asexuals who is dreadfully inept with innuendos, and I do follow and like content of people who do. If there are any tagging concerns or something you would like to message me about, feel free. Mental health is very important to me, and I am still learning (which is a lifelong process in me and my liege’s book). 

For fandom related art, I consistently tag for fandoms I partake, while if I am not particularly associated or familiar with the fandom, it will just be tagged “art.” Heads up, this is not a particularly fandom centered blog though. The only thing I spam is Promare ... and maybe Mob Psycho 100.

If you would like to ask any questions about my content or would like to clarify on certain information I don’t have on the public profile (because internet), feel free to message me. I also generally love interaction from mutuals or people I interact with, so feel free to say hi. 

[Profile description: Picture of Lady Nora, a small black and white cat, gracefully pawing at the teal cabinets of a washroom vanity at 2AM. End description]

[elftwink]

a 14 year old transgender kid who googled "hrt" and read up on medical transition already knows way more about "biological sex" than your average cisgender adult and i am not joking or being hyperbolic. constantly in my higher education i am subject to facts i learned myself as a teenager because i'm trans and constantly i speak to cis people who gun to their head could not tell you the difference between secondary and primary sex characteristics. if you're trans and any cis person tries to school you on gender laugh in their fucking face don't even hear them out unless they produce some qualifications i am being so serious we have to stop letting people who are convinced they can be feminized from plant estrogen think they're smart. #openlylaughatcispeople2022

[strawberry-crocodile]

As a trans woman, I have a lot of behaviors that i am VERY EXCITED to do that are considered traditionally feminine. And I think the General Societal Narrative of a trans women, say, being excited to bake a cake, is that she’s like, Sightseeing Womanhood, doing something Women Do because it tickles her to Be A Woman. Which is… fucking hogwash. these behaviors aren’t Things Women Do, they’re Things Men Don’t Do. 

The urge to bake a cake and coo at babies and welcome houseguests, I think, is just human, but it’s something that men are told basically from birth that they’re not allowed to do. So a huge part of the transfem experience isn’t Discovering New Hobbies That Let You Be A Girl, it’s finally allowing yourself to do things that you’ve spent decades believing you weren’t supposed to.

[strawberry-crocodile]

And in less intersectional feminist spaces, this purveying idea (that a trans woman is taking pleasure from like, Sampling Womanhood) plays to an understanding of “male socialization” that is centered around the effects it has on AFAB people. (”Boys will be boys”, “He’s pulling his hair because he likes you”) 

And while I dont blame people for expressing the pain they suffer under patriarch, it’s pretty conceited to assume that this gives you understanding of the totality of the AMAB experience. Cis men and trans women and other AMAB people spend their childhoods being punished, by peers and authorities and media, for “unmanly” behavior- vulnerability, emotionality, caring, sadness. And I think that a lot of feminism (ESPECIALLY radical feminism) doesn’t fully understand that.

[strawberry-crocodile]

TERFs especially are 100% convinced that they know what male socialization is to the point that they will argue with trans women about it, which is the kind of hubris that would be fucking hilarious if it wasn’t so harmful.

[strawberry-crocodile]

God this is such a great sentence

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID/ Tumblr tags reading: #the experience of being a woman who grows up in the patriarchy #and being a woman who grows up being told shes a man are two distinct types of trauma that can coexist /End ID]

[qunari]

I'll never forgive tumblr for being so quick to shit on the concept of "queer platonic" relationships bc even outside of asexual/aromantic relationships, the bond I've shared with other queer women in a non romantic, non sexual way has been wildly different and more intimate than any friendships I've ever had with cishet people, even when we're not as close as my cishet friends. the fact that y'all were like "relationships are strictly within these categories there is only familial, platonic, sexual, and romantic" like yall pls 😭 queer connection and bonding is so much deeper and more complex than that. get offline and connect with some of your community i beg

[bearie]

this picture has such a sound to me but i cant describe it

[ifeeltheblame]

[Image Description: Picture of a large tortoise shuffling around on the tile floor of a small bathroom, up against the tub, with the toilet knocked sideways, only not on the floor because of the small space between the vanity and the wall. End ID]

[funnytwittertweets]

[the-lincyclopedia]

[Image ID: a tweet from danielle weisberg (daniellewisber) that says, “carb/tomato/cheese is the best thing our species has ever done. pizza? perfect. quesadilla with salsa? genius. grilled cheese with ketchup or tomato soup? joyful. pasta with marinara and parm? beautiful. carb/tomato/cheese CARB/TOMATO/CHEESE” /End ID]

[susiedeltaruned-deactivated2022]

my gender identity ranks higher than urs on the activision blizzard diversity chart. btw

[renthony]

"Sir" not in a masculine way but in a "heavily armored knight with an ambiguous gender and a very large sword" sort of way.

[lakevida]

my cat is meowing thru the window at the middle aged men working on the roof rn and they're meowing back at her

[frauggiethecreature]

reblog if you fully and intentionally are referring to aspec people as well when you use the word queer to refer to the community

clarification in tags

[panicking-skywalker]

Aspec experiences are inherently queer

Aspecs are queer

[manic-pixie-dream-squirrel-blog]

when i was

[elitheradguy]

a young boy

[tylers-ukelele12]

my father

[manic-pixie-dream-squirrel-blog]

ATE AN ENTIRE FUCKING LEMON.  HE DIDN’T SQUEEZE IT OUT ONTO ANYTHING.  HE DIDN’T CUT IT INTO PIECES.  HE DIDN’T EVEN SKIN IT.  HE JUST STUFFED THE ENTIRE LEMON INTO HIS MOUTH AND SWALLOWED.  I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING SO HORRIBLE IN MY LIFE

[fall-out-boys-newest-album]

to see a marching band

[emoheritageposts]

June 25, 2015

[spheciform]

I feel like all image describing tumblr blogs are just a really really extended mutuals circle at the end of the day. I’ll see someone reblog a post with an image description and be like “oh it’s the mutual in law” and even recognize blogs I don’t follow and who afaik none of my mutuals follow just because they do a lot of image descriptions

[mastincala-deactivated20240527]

succulent lawn this, clover lawn that, how about you find out what native groundcovers and grasses will work with your soil ph and plant that

[penny-anna]

so when Spider-man crawls up and down walls like a bug people praise him and call him a superhero, but when I, Count Dracula,

[slutauthority]

. WE NEED to appreciate the raw power which bisexual women wield. We MUST kiss our bisexual women! We must give bisexual women everything!!!!! U go find your local bi woman and you tell them you are sorry!!!!!!!

[sophiainspace-deactivated202409]

I always feel alone with my frustration… Most friends deny me my justified anger, and because of their embarrassment I am drawn into a game which on the one hand wants to protect them but on the other hand scream at them for not seeing the oppression for what it is. When some friends adopt the tight-lipped silent approach I can hear their silent voice saying ‘here she goes again’. I infrequently hear them say they understand and can see the oppression and support my protest. The worst is when they move into the parent voice with ‘never mind we must make the best of it’. I scream inside at the patronising tones. If only people could see anger as a positive force for change instead of an ugly creature best not talked about I believe we would achieve better results… When well-meaning people respond with 'you should write to them about it’, I am then deemed responsible for all the changes which need to happen in order to access ordinary things. If I spent my time writing to 'them’ I would have little time or energy left to earn a living or socialize. Yet I am left thinking if I don’t write they won’t either and the barrier will never be removed… I try to encourage non-disabled people to take responsibility but with a few exceptions they do not feel it is anything to do with them. Not yet in their life anyway.

Sandy Slack on disability oppression, friends, and anger - from ‘I am more than my wheels’, in ‘Disability Discourses’, M. Corker & S. French, 1999 (via sophiainspace)

[binghsien]

lrb i am increasingly just telling people who profess to having no internal sense of gender and never had had one and find the idea of having one kinda alienating “you’re agender.”

technically what i should be saying is “you might be agender, maybe explore that?” but there are like a billion cis people and a million trans people telling them “if you don’t care about your gender at all that means you’re cis” which it absolutely doesn’t not so i feel the need to be a counter-weight.

if you are one of those billion cis people or million trans people: please stop saying that “not caring about your gender means you’re cis.” particularly when someone says “but i’ve never really had a sense of gender.”

not having an internal sense of gender does not mean that you are cis. it has never meant that you are cis! cis people care a lot about their gender! not caring about your gender means (very likely) that you are agender.

you don’t have to do anything with that information. it doesn’t compel you to start using specific pronouns or identifying in specific ways or joining specific support groups or communities. what it means is those things are there if you need them. what it means is you’re more like us than you are like them.

[higglety]

There were a lot of signs and clues in hindsight, but for me the thing that clicked and made me realize I was agender was the logical conclusion of a thought experiment I was using to explain transness to my stepkid, which demonstrated exactly this. I was walking him through how his gender isn’t connected to his body, how even if he lost an arm or a leg he’d still be male, even if he was a head in a jar he’d be male, even if his consciousness was separated from his body entirely and he was downloaded into a blank robot chassis, he’d be a male robot, because he’s male. (This was all question and answer format, with him affirming his maleness at every step). The follow up was the explanation that for some people that sense of their own gender doesn’t line up with the meat suit they were issued at birth, etc etc.

But the real kicker for ME was afterwards, when I realized that if I applied that same thought experiment to myself, and imagined my own mind in a robot chassis; I wouldn’t be a female robot. I’d just be a robot. My gender is liquid, and spread to fill the shape of the body I was issued, but I would not take it with me if I were separated from this body. Being in a perceived-male body wouldn’t be wrong, any more than being in a perceived-female body is right. I didn’t realize this until I was in my 30’s, because I didn’t realize agender was even an option.