making an enthusiastic, sincere jack-off motion with my hand to indicate that i agree with the present course of action and think you have thought it out well
It's gonna be such a funny mess when Donald Trump dies of a stroke on April 1st, 2024.
Naturally everybody will think it's fake because of the date only to lose their minds (both positively and negatively based on their opinion of trump) when realizing it's real
There will be massive celebrations in the streets and on social media and lots of predictable "don't speak ill of the dead" discourse about those celebrations
Weird evangelicals will pull some weird number trick talking about how Jesus was conceived on April 1st and that makes Trump a sort of messiah and people will make fun of that
The Republicans (after they're done with the faux-sadness and faux-outrage) will stomp over each other to be his successor but none of them will succeed. They'll tear each other apart and have no single nominee for the November elections.
There will be discourse about if Biden and the living former presidents should go to his funeral (they won't, he was a traitor insurrectionist)
The Ukraine-Russia War immediately goes in favor of Ukraine as morale in the Kremlin is reduced. China similarly backs off from its threats on Taiwan.
Ten thousand new memes are made, some sticking around for years to come.
Not a month later a bunch of unofficial biographies of Trump hit the bookshelves, many with new details about just how awful he was.
- If Frankenstein had a lovechild with Inspector Gadget
- A master at mechanical body horror
- Slight (read: BIG) obsession with body "upgrades" and enhancements via machinery. This man is constantly asking others if they would like him to replace their legs with rocket boosters- please say yes, it would be so cool and totally not potentially ruin your legs permanently, pretty please with a cherry on top? Please?
- His primary/favorite lab rat for his experiments is actually not Heavy (sorry heavymed shippers, I have failed you 😔) but his own body.
- [slaps roof of Engie-med] this bad boy can fit so much fucking metal
- Filled to the brim with mechanical implants and "upgrades". All of his organs are now metal replacements. A particularly strong magnet would probably stick to him.
- He watched Robocop once when he was a kid and hasn't been the same since /j
- His right arm is the most DECKED OUT with his experiments out of the rest of his body. There's like 50 tools stuffed in there like, it's like the arm equivalent to a batman utility belt at this point. Anything you need at any moment is probably hidden somewhere in there. Need some scissors? Oh yeah sure, let him just [pops one out of his arm]
- They’re retractable, dw
- Because of the overwhelming number of times he has shoved something that shouldn't go inside a human body into his right arm, he is now a proud owner of the most fucked up arm known to the history of mankind.
- fuck up #1: his arm has been broken and reset (badly) so many times that it's just permanently crooked now
- fuck up #2: his right hand fingertips are literally starting to "die" (i.e. turning black; completely numb. He can't figure wtf is going on and neither can Medi-scout)
- Pain tolerance who? This man doesnt tolerate pain he obliterates it, he is numb to pain.
- THANKFULLY his left arm has less stuff going on so it can actually function as a normal human arm, but it has retractable needles and screwdrivers that can pop out from his fingertips. Because this is Medic we're talking about. Of course he would.
- The index finger is the only finger without a retractable needle because it's a goddamn GUN. He can shoot BULLETS from it, may God have mercy on whoever is on the receiving end of his finger guns
- The only one on the team other than Medi-scout that knows how to use the medigun because he sometimes borrows it for his experiments.
- A very competent and skilled engineer actually, he just focuses all that skill into all the wrong places, such as his arm.
- Mostly uses titanium (lightest, durable, and not that magnetic)
- My man is HEAVY (and expensive). He probably weighs a ton
- Metal detectors love him <3
- Perpetually slightly worried eyebrows
- Nervous/excited energy is through the roof with this man (acts like he drank 10 cans of bonk and is on the verge of a nervous meltdown)
Hey, you guys remember Emesis Blue? Haha yeah, it was such a great movie, thank god all the characters were played by actors so they were all fine in the end, haha
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