You loved these things, but now Iâm taking them. I want you to see me with my claws deep into what you love. I want to make sure you canât fucking forget me.
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Show & Tell
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Today's Document

Kiana Khansmith
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@iinmanisii
You loved these things, but now Iâm taking them. I want you to see me with my claws deep into what you love. I want to make sure you canât fucking forget me.
shit my history prof says
some of the bullshit thatâs come out of his mouth between my Medieval History and Western Civ 1 transcribed into RP sentence meme form. have a party with it, change pronouns as you need to.
âYou shouldnât walk through fire. Thatâs why God made it so hot.â
âWell, Iâm ___, so of course I need a GIANT GUN.â
âI donât care what fancy magic armor you wear, if a fat man with no pants hits you with a cleaver, youâre dead.â
âHeâs like a walking encyclopedia of useless shit.â
â___ scared the shit out of everyone back in the day. Thatâs something that hasnât changed.â
âAnd it was at that moment I realized there would be no peace.â
âYOUâRE THE SHIT!â
âAt my age, the only thing that scares me is an IRS tax audit.â
âYou canât even get me to walk up a block to get a sandwich.â
âCome on, itâll be fun! Do it for Jesus!âÂ
âThis is one thing Europe is good at. Exporting violence.â
âIâm sorry, I find it a little hard to believe that a bunch of guys smoking hash can attack anything. Unless itâs like, a pie.â
âOne crossbow bolt later and I learned that toothpaste makes excellent makeshift wall Spackle.â
âThe question isnât why or how it could fall, the question is how did it last that long.â
âIf you havenât seen a breast yet you need to get out of the house.â
âFirst thingâs first, Iâm kind of an asshole.â
âAnd thatâs why my girlfriend doesnât take me out to nice places anymore. Which is good, because I didnât want to go in the first place.â
âMoral of the story? When something isnât yours, you treat it like shit.âÂ
âI like woodchucks. Theyâre the fat kids of the forest.â
âWhen the wind blows itâs like Satanâs hairdryer.â
âThis cognacâs so expensive itâd be cheaper for me to do crack.â
âItâs like you know what theyâre saying but youâre having a stroke.â
âNo one likes you when you sleep with their wives and husbands and children.â
âDonât do that. Youâll get warm. Then youâll get sleepy. Then youâll get dead.â
âThis war takes fucking FOREVER.â
âItâs like going on a road-trip with Stalin. Like, there are fun times, where youâre in Vegas and drinking together, but then youâre digging your own grave in the desert because he thinks you cheated at blackjack.â
âHeâs pretty much his sugar daddy.â
âChildren are like little drunk people.â
âIf youâre going to go all the way to another country and then still eat McDonaldâs, youâre kind of an asshole.â
âHow many prostitutes can you put in a boat? Letâs find out!âÂ
âI say itâs a dead dog story, but I promise thereâs a funny ending.â
âItâs like crack, if crack was cheese.â
âPicture a Playboy mansion gone wrong.â
âItâs like living in some bizarre fantasy porno.â
âHe smells like something from the X-Files.â
âThere are a lot of ways to die, but not many quite as stylish.â
âWhy? Aesthetic.â
âIf youâre looking for a back tattoo this is the one you want.â
âWhy does he succeed? He has a plan. Sounds stupid, but not many people have one.â
Torture my character sentence meme
Make them cry
âI never loved you.â
âYouâre the reason theyâre dead!â
âItâs all your fault!â
âWho could ever love youâŠ?â
âYouâre so stupid. So weak.â
âJust go away. I donât want you here.â
Blackmail them
âWho wouldâve thought a sweet thing like you would have such a secret?â
âIâll tell everyone. Scream so loud the country will hear.â
âI have a friend with a radio station, you know. Broadcast it all over the city.â
âIf you want this back, youâll do whatever I say!â
âBe a good little slave, you donât want your secret out, do you?â
âI know everything. I can ruin you.â
âBeg me, and I might consider keeping my mouth shut.â
Interrogate them
âSing, birdie.â
âI know exactly how to make you talk.â
âYou know some fascinating things, donât you?â
âIâll use your greatest weaknesses against you, and you know I know them all.â
âI have means of extracting information from you.â
âI might play with you a little longer after youâve talked. Youâre too cute.â
âYouâre tough. But Iâll break you.â
Yell at them
âYou idiot! You dumbass! You- you fucking moron!â
âYouâre absolutely useless, arenât you?!â
âWhat the fuck have you done this time!â
âYou donât care about anyone but yourself!â
âYouâre not human! Youâre a monster!â
âYouâre a disgusting little rat!â
âYouâve fucked up for the last time!â
Physically hurt them
âWhat, canât take a punch?â
âIâll kill you!â
âItâs only a scratch, asshole!â
âDonât move, or Iâll shoot you!â
âIâll slit your damn throat!â
âKiss my shoes or Iâll stomp your head in half.â
âI didnât mean to draw blood, but oh well.â
âThatâs going to bruise.â
Torture them⊠gently
âYou want some of this cake? Câmoooon, beg for it!â
âGuess what? SURPRISE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE!â
âTickle-tickle-tickle! Kitchy kitchy koo!â
âWhaaaat? Is this yours? You canât have it back, itâs mine now!â
âIâll stop singing when hell freezes over!â
âGet in the locker, shorty!â
âAnnoying? Me? Annoying?â
Death doesnât discriminate, between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes, and we keep living anyways, we rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes, and if thereâs a reason Iâm still alive when so many have died, Iâm willing to wait for it.
Hamilton the Musical (via
the-chemical-mushroom
)
he asks me why i fear crying more than heights, i tell him falling at least has a certain stopping point i cannot face that great canyon in my bones because i honestly donât know just how deep this sadness goes.
at least falling would be passable for flight // r.i.d
(via breniatham)
smiling is so weird like you stretch your eating hole to show happiness
    I want to appear ïŒłââïŒČâïŒŻâïŒźâ  â-                              Even if Iâm ĐČŃÏĐșŃη inside
RP starters: Heated argument.
âAre you even listening to me?â
âLeave. Leave right now.â
âWhat more do you want?!â
âI hate you!â
âCan you just fuck off already?â
âShut up! Just.. Shut up!â
âAll you do is whine.â
âWhat the hell is wrong with you?!â
âI canât do this anymore. Not with you.â
âHow did that feel?â
âOh my god, I donât care!â
âNo wonder nobody likes you.â
âIs this how little you think of me?â
âThat hurt you son of a bitchâŠâ
âPack your shit and go. Get the fuck out of my sight!â
âLeave me alone!â
âI can break your nose if I want to.â
âAre you going to cry now?â
âI wouldnât miss you. Nobody would.â
âYouâre so pathetic!â
âI wonât forget this.â
âIâm going to break your jaw if you keep talking!â
âWhy canât you listen to a single thing I say?!â
âI have a right to be angry.â
âGet out of my life!â
âYouâre nothing! Did you hear me?! Nothing!â
âYou ruined everything.â
am i petty, bitter, obnoxious, and jealous? yes. am i going to change that? well,
Irritation - Sentence MemesÂ
âChildish as usual.â
âEver think youâll remove that stick up your ass?â
âAh, so youâve changed your mind⊠does this one work any better?â
âGood job, I think Iâll give you a high five⊠in the face.â
âLook I may be one for good deals but Iâm not buying your bullshit.â
âI wouldnât have to manage my anger, if you learned to manage your stupidity.â
âSorry, I got mad and said a lot of things that I meant but shouldnât of said.â
âYou know I may be able to tolerate you but sometimes you really push itâŠâ
âWhy donât you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?â
âYouâre extremely attractive⊠when you donât open your mouth.â
âI have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you. â
âIâm jealous of all the people that havenât met you.â
âYou bring everyone a lot of joy⊠when you leave the room of course.â
âI bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you never use it.â
âIf you are going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty.â
âYou think youâre so high and mighty, donât you?â
âBeaten on the ground is a good look for you.â
âI love how you just wear anything.â
âPersonally, I find it charming how youâre not obsessed with personal style.â
âWish I could be as laid-back as you about all responsibilities youâre avoiding.â
âOh Iâm sorry, is this making you uncomfortable?â
âGo ahead, keep goading. See what happensâŠâ
âYouâre not as interesting as you think you are.â
âOh, you really think thatâs a good idea? Thatâs cute.â
âNo I get it, you look down on me âcause thatâs the only way your fragile little ego gets validated.â
âIâd like to see things from your point of view but I canât seem to get my head that far up my ass.â
âNot saying I would, but with the way youâre going someone is bound to punch your lights out.â
âAre good manners just something that escapes you? Thatâs alright, not everyone came from a civilized upbringing.â
âShut your mouth for once, before I do it for you.â
âDonât patronize me.â
âYouâre shit at defending yourself, so you make up for it in little snide comments.â
âI get tired of staring at your mug all day.â
âI was having a good day until I ran into you.â
âOoh, what a scary look. Got something in mind there, or are you just gonna carry on like a spineless imp?âÂ
âYou say that, but we both know what would happen if you dared to challenge me.â
âI havenât been ignoring you; Iâve been prioritizing you.â
âWait, let me stop you there⊠is this train of thought actually relevant?â
â Iâm trying to imagine you with a personality.â
âNo no, please keep talking. I always yawn when Iâm interested.â
âIâm already visualizing the duct tape across your mouth.â
âEven when I constantly hand your ass to you, you come back for more.â
âBe quick, I donât have all day.â
âYou canât buy yourself class.â
âDo you ever think before opening your mouth?â
                    The greater the                          loss,             the more people need someone to                       HATE for it.
FACE OFF! Both our muses are in a massive showdown.
Send me a number of how this showdown starts and specify who starts it:
a slap.
a tackle.
a kick in the shins.
a choke hold.
pulling a gun out and pointing it at the opposite muse.
a punch in the nose.
a kick in the stomach.
a battle cry.
throwing an object at the opposite muse.
a headbutt.
a bite.
a sword fight.
a kick in the genitals.
a punch in the stomach.
a clothesline.
a high kick to the face.
kicking the opposite museâs legs out from under them.
a chop to the throat.
placing the opposite muse in a headlock.
digging their thumbs in the opposite museâs eyes.
WOULD YOU RATHER? Send my muse any two things and they have to pick between them.
examples: colours, places, books, movies, television shows etc.
Text Prompts;
[text]: call or text me back please. iâm getting worried.
[text]: come round to mine and make me ;)
[text]: how drunk was i last night?
[text]: you were so wasted last night!
[text]: why do i have a stop sign in my living room?
[text]: iâm craving pizzaâŠÂ
[text]: wanna grab lunch and a movie?
[text]: i canât tonight, tomorrow?
[text]: that cutie is here again. should i talk to them? i wonât know if they like me unless i talk to themâŠÂ
[text]: i can literally feel my hair turning grey by the second⊠save me! PLEASE!
[text]: GUESS WHO HAS A DATE?!
[text]: batman or superman? you know, for scienceâŠ
[text]: team cap or team iron man? our friendship rests on thisâŠ
[text]: any new book recommendations?Â
[text]: me. you. a bottle of vodka. my place. now.
[text]: i really need a friend right now
[text]: i canât believe what i just overheard in the bathroomâŠ
[text]: for the last time, stop fucking texting me
[text]: iâm sorry, who is this?
[text]: fuck off!!
[text]: wanna be my plus one to my exes wedding? and pretend to be in love with me?
[text]: i just wanted to say, i love you and i forgive you
[text]: we need to talk.
[text]: what time you getting home?
[text]: word on the street is you got laid last night. i need all the deets!
[text]: pretty please? with sugar on top!
[text]: you love me really!
[text]: i have never in my life been this angry. i canât believe this has happened!
[text]: sorry to miss your call, whatâs up?
[text]: i got fired! I GOT FUCKING FIRED! :(Â
[text]: my boss is giving me the eyeâŠ
[text]: pants are optional.
[text]: did you get the thing????
[text]: ??????
[text]: eww⊠the grossest thing ever just happenedâŠÂ
[text]: shit shit shit
[text]: asshole, much?
[text]: donât need to be a dick about it
[text]: wait, what?
[text]: how did you get this number?
bad decisions ariana grande (2016)