[redstonedust]

funny thing about anxiety is sometimes it kind of breaks your sense of danger. like i am known for repeatedly putting myself in situations that make my friends go "bro you couldve died. werent you scared?" and the answer is 👍 yjeah. i did it scared. i do everything scared. i didnt know that was the actual important kind of scary because i usually have to ignore my fears to function in society. it will happen again. watch out.

[transjudas]

never take for granted the moments when you’re not nauseous

[byjove]

There is this sort of paradox in unhealthy relationships where the victim will waver on if what their partner is doing to them does or does not rise to the level of abuse. I want to say that it does not matter if what your partner is doing to you fits the dictionary or legal or your personal definition of ‘abuse’. If you are in a relationship where it has gotten to the point that you’re wondering if you’re being abused or not, it’s time to start thinking of an exit strategy and putting it into motion. So many people stay in terrible relationships because ‘it’s not abusive’, so many people are waiting for their partner to do something egregious and undeniably abusive before they give themself the permission to leave, when that moment happens, when they hit you or break your phone or scream at you all night before a job interview, the goalpost for what is unacceptable will shift further and further away. Ultimately, it does not matter if your toxic partner is or is not abusive in this moment, if they are doing/saying things that make you feel worse about yourself, feel embarrassed about yourself, feel unsafe, feel smothered, feel dependent on them, feel stupid, etc., it is time to go. It doesn’t matter if you’re actually the problem repeatedly setting them off, stop weighing that, maybe they WOULD be happier with another partner, all the more reason to get the fuck away from them and focus on yourself instead. If your partner is making your life worse, go. If your partner is making your life sooooo much better but there are just these little moments where they make you hate yourself, go. Stop qualifying and looking for a justification to go, just leave knowing life is too short to have misery inflicted on you, whether it is abuse or not.

[captain-price-returns]

[quasi-normalcy]

I don't understand how this is even a defence in the age of drone warfare.

[graham-folger]

Or even like... Cannon warfare.

[quasi-normalcy]

Yeah, the Ottomans could have taken this in the fourteenth century.

[iletgo]

house built like an enemy base in spiderman games that's designed specifically so you can snatch people from above

[iletgo]

rest easy, bruiser

nothing in the world could've prepared me to say goodbye to you.

[disc90s]

[livelaughlamictal]

via riptdes

[childsacrifice]

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

my 5 year plan is to get back my joy

[malinaa]

[iletgo]

this song finally being released next month i'm gonna throw up, actually

[achillesinhighheels]

sorry i never replied. everyday is blending together and i'm losing sense of time

[tf2heritageposts]

doing research into my penis options and this is such a funny stock image to use here

[tf2heritageposts]

people pointing out i said penis options and i am in fact doing research into my options for penis. my penis options #mypenisoptions

[scramratz]

I think people would be less suicidal if they were allowed to talk about being suicidal without risk of being sent to the Torture Dungeon

[iletgo]

tried to read You Weren't Meant to Be Human by Andrew Joseph White and i had to stop i think roughly 1/3 of the way through because of the pit it was already leaving in my stomach

it's compelling and raw but it's disgustingly, disturbingly visceral in a way that makes me want to crawl out of my skin, and it's in a way that i don't think i'm in a good mental/emotional place for right now. which i was pretty cognizant of in the first place, i might add, but just truly did not realize the intensity of the emotions it would stir up for me.

so anyways i'm gonna leave this on my blog as a reminder to myself to maybe someday try to read it all the way through,

*already wrote my tags and don't want to delete and rewrite them; just want to disclaim that i am trans and the whole 'trans lead characters are hard for me to read!!' is not because i hate trans people! i can't actually even articulate everything i mean by that/why i feel that way beyond the fact that it makes me more aware of my own body at all times in ways i cannot describe or explain outside of it making me very overwhelmed.

[iletgo]

took three pictures with the flash on & she didn't move an inch, she is passed tf out

[weltenwellen]

Carl Phillips, from “Civilization”, Then the War: And Selected Poems, 2007-2020

[iletgo]

there's something 'bout the window seats, got you feeling like a poet

you said, "i think that we had everything, until now just didn't know it"

i'm leanin' towards a subject change in a sentimental moment

we're drivin' through the garden state, we'll be strangers in the mornin'

the way you've got your hair up straight makes you look real Californian

you know you never really could quite place when i'm angry and i'm jokin'

i'm cursin' every exit sign and my damn christ-like devotion;

to hopin' you might change your mind, and to hatin' you for goin'

roadkill fawn, you said "how sad, left to rot alone like that"

you state a feelin' like a fact

i'm glad you left, but you'll be back

so call me when it goes to shit

i'll be keepin' the house the way it was

i won't rub your face in it

i swear i won't tell anyone

i don't mind being your dead end

i think it's fine to never move on

keep my ear up to the doorframe

and i'll keep rootin' for your downfall

and i'll keep rootin' for your downfall

call me when the bugs don't die and the spring looks just like autumn

oh, tell me when you miss the climb from a hole that has no bottom

i'm hoping that the view ain't nice, that the streetlights bleed into your bedroom

that you open up to someone kind, and they hold it all against you

roadkill fawn, you said "how sad, left to rot alone like that"

you state a feelin' like a fact

i'm glad you left, but you'll be back

so call me when it goes to shit

i'll be keepin' the house the way it was

i won't rub your face in it

i swear i won't tell anyone

i don't mind being your dead end

i think it's fine to never move on

keep my ear up to the doorframe

and i'll keep rootin' for your downfall

and i'll keep rootin' for your downfall

so call me when it goes to shit

i'll be keepin' the house the way it was

i won't rub your face in it

i swear i won't tell anyone

i don't mind being your dead end

i think it's fine to never move on

keep my ear up to the doorframe

and i'll keep rootin' for your downfall

and i'll keep rootin' for your downfall

and i'll keep rootin' for your downfall

and i'll keep rootin' for your downfall

oh, i'll keep rootin' for your downfall