wet alien cunt, apparently

pardon any weird formatting, i post from mobile a lot [my stuff on here] [my ao3]

[illegalcockbiting]

what if i rose from the dead

[illegalcockbiting]

ur url is the thing that should be illegal

Thanks!

[askthebeanwizard]

Smut 101: The Verbiage of Filth.

Hello, my fellow fanfic writers. Today’s article is going to be about filth and smut. Yes, folks, this post is going to be full of graphic, graphic language, and so I suspect that you may not want to look at this while you’re at work or in class or on the train. Or you might want to live dangerously and do so anyway! It takes all kinds of folks to write fanfic. 

Since sex is a huge topic, I’m going to break this article into installments. Today I’m going to work on a general topic, which is, how to actually describe smutty things. This will be pairing-agnostic, so be prepared to see graphic descriptions of all kinds of sex. I will follow up later with specific guidelines for writing sex between gay people, lesbian people, het people, and transgender people. 

But first: the verbiage.

Keep reading

[illegalcockbiting]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

@ketzaleh podfic’d a rhack fic from a while back! i havent listened yet, but i’m sure it’s great!! i’m flattered they wanted to do this and hope they enjoyed doing it!!

[lokincest-deactivated20180601]

Fanfiction Work-In-Progress Guessing Game

Send me a word, if it’s in my wip document I’ll answer your ask with the sentence that it appears in

[earlgreytea68]

THIS IS AWESOME. 

[illegalcockbiting]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

for a prompt on tfa_kink:

There's a secret among Stormtroopers that there's a certain place at a certain time that troopers can go, unmask, and have "anonymous" sex with each other. As in there are so many of them that usually they don't recognize each others' faces, and they all put the masks back on afterwards and go about their business so nobody will ever know. Kylo finds out about this. Instead of being angry as he should be, he's unable to resist joining in to satisfy his urges. Nearly no Stormtroopers know his face, after all, and they won't know to be afraid of him or that he's Kylo Ren at all. 

i only filled part of the prompt with a stormtrooper recognizing him but?? it’s Not Bad

[illegalcockbiting]

i finished a ficlet where holo-jack making rhys come hard by sticking his tongue in rhys's port and that got me thinking of rhys getting his *mechanical parts* exploited for porny reasons? maybe it's just Jack who loves messing with rhys, making him completely fall apart (and possibly more than once) by playing with the port or maybe it's a mechanic tinkering w/ rhys's arm with some dirty outcomes? i thought i would share this because i can't be the only one who want completely ruin rhys, right?

ooh!!! i can actually rec you some stuff in that case!

this is rhys/vaughn and it’s gushy nice stuff, but it’s got port touching stuff and afaik this was actually the first official fic to do it!

this is by the same author and is rhys/vaughn/yvette, and focuses less on the port touching but does have it.

as for holojack/ai jack specifically, i myself have written a few things: jack ai fucking rhys up in his dreams, for example, and jack ai ‘helping’ rhys jerk himself off. there’s also this fic i did for a secret santa, where jack puts something like a mind control collar on him, and this fic that’s literally just... nothing but smut. it’s just dirty talk and honestly it’s like 99% dialogue but i had fun and so do they so :’)

i cant think of anything else off the top of my head because i’ve been offline and cant think of a ton of stuff off the top of my head at the moment, but there’s definitely a LOT of that stuff on ao3 and tumblr. you are definitely not the only one, anon :P

[mature-vaughntent-blog]

what the dialogue option said: “I like someone else.”

what Rhys meant: “As soon as this is over I’m walking back to my best friend’s bandit camp and he’s going to sling me over his shoulder and carry me to a dewy bower made of the prettiest Pandoran flowers he could find, and he is going to fuck me until I can’t stand up. Ideally, we’re going to roll around on the soft earth of this weirdo planet, screwing like teenagers, thinking of nothing but each other until exhaustion or dehydration sets in. I’m going to wake up in his arms tomorrow, the way I’ve wanted to since I was in college but never had the balls to admit, and he’s going to tell me he loves me for the hundredth time in our lives but I’m not going to laugh it off like I have before, or made a joke, or dismissed it with a 'lol same bro’. I’m going to tell him I’ve loved him for years, and I was too much of a coward to talk to him about it, to open up about how this feeling has grown and changed and turned into something big and scary that I didn’t know how to deal with. I am going to tell him about how much I’ve cried thinking he was dead. We’re gonna kiss, and it’s not going to be the kind of kiss you have with your best bro when you’re both drunk at a New Year’s party. It’ll be what adults have with the person they’ve always pictured growing old with. I am never going to take the shit I have with that little peach cobbler for granted ever again. So help me, Fiona, whatever magic space treasure is in this vault has nothing on what I have in my heart for Vaughn.”

[illegalcockbiting]

borderlands oc: the person who had to awkwardly put plaster over handsome jack's throbbing dong to make lifecasts from it

[illegalcockbiting]

Hey, I was wondering if you would ever do, a full descriptive till the end, Jack / Timothy? It is some of my fave things from you but it always feel half finished which is so frustrating because I love your work so much ;a;

!!! i’m!!!! actually working on a few jack/tim things oops. the thing i’ve published was written when he wasnt even out yet and nobody really knew what he was gonna be like (and in all honesty, the fic was just gonna be jack making him respond to ‘john’ around him to kick him around, but it ended up too confusing in the end)

i’m glad u like my stuff though omg?? i’m gonna go work harder on my jack/tim stuff right now, just for u anon u3u

[illegalcockbiting]

pls write more PA meg porn I am begging u that got me so good

this is such a good ask bless u

i have more i’ve been working on on and off so? its definitely a possibility u3u

[redmiel-deactivated20201115]

[shock]

It takes a lot of getting used to, the whole robotic arm… thing. They’d already gone through the whole hellish process of post-surgery chaos together - he can barely remember it, just a haze of painkillers and Vaughn, always Vaughn, helping him through it, which means – well, it means a lot to him, but he knows that Vaughn had bruises from Rhys dealing with everything else on top of not being able to control it, and he’ll never stop the guilt of that from surfacing every once in a while.

His arm felt foreign then and it feels just as foreign now, and he’s scared he’ll never really get used to it, won’t ever control it the way he’s meant to.

Especially when it does things like this.

Keep reading

[illegalcockbiting]

So I read lots of your BL fic and I've noticed you're really good at writing Jack's character you always seem to capture so much of his different sides and write him as the complex character he is not one sided like most fic writers do. So i was wondering how are you so good at writing him? did you have to study his character in order to write him or did it just come naturally to you? Love your work btw thank you for using your talent to write what you do!!

aahhHHH I JUST REALIZED I NEVER ANSWERED THIS, I’M SORRY ANON

thank you so much?? oh my goodness i worry about characterizing him a lot and hearing that people like how i write him is always so great ;w;

as for studying him i mean, i dont think so? i’ve beaten bl2 a few times and am on my like. 20+th run of bltps so i guess maybe that would count but? mostly i just have a knack for ‘playing’ him so to speak i guess?? i hope??? like using the right combination of pet names and threats in accordance with who he’s talking to, what kind of mood he’s in, what he wants out of the conversation, etc, yknow, ~motives~ n bs.

i’m so glad you like my stuff though i’m tearing up a little bit?? this is a really sweet message and i would just keep it in my inbox forever but i owe you an answer, dearest pupil uou

[radishezrom]

was having a chat with DeQuidt  this morning bout Tim an got lotso feels this is of.. if Jack just latched the mask on without letting the wound scar, which would fester probably and wouldnt heal or the blood dry even… pretty mean man but jacks a mean goi

[exorin]

glitchjack

[illegalcockbiting]

okay look i think about this too much to not say something: they find a doctor before he gets his mask, so i’m assuming some medical care went into it, but i’m also assuming that you aren’t supposed to suffocate a wound

i’m gonna also assume that jack only takes his mask off to shower or sleep, if even then, in which case he probably wears it upwards of like, what, probably 14 hours a day? or more?

that being said: jack either brands tim or he doesnt. realistically speaking, it’d be easier for him to not brand tim and just give him a mask, but this is handsome jack. he absolutely branded him under the guise of tim being a perfect match, and also probably to inflict it on someone just for fun

after that, who’s to say he doesn’t genuinely bolt the mask onto tim’s face? as in, his mark never heals and sometimes blood and pus will leak from the sides and bottom of the mask, and tim will disgustedly, embarrassedly wipe it away before anyone sees

[illegalcockbiting]

holy shit okey dokey uh this blog hit 100 followers holy heck thank you all

uhh is there anything special yall want to celebrate with? unveiling my 100% gross blog? writing something specific? licking a light pole??

im using mcdonalds wifi rn because we still dont have it at the new house yet so?? i’ll open this for answers and feel free to answer here and/or send asks until i get internet at some point eyyy

surVEY SAYS.......?

[emtmercy]

There’s an okay amount of borderlands fic on ao3 but like none of it was written by people who are going to heaven lol

[illegalcockbiting]

attention all jack/rhys fans!

yours truly got the opportunity to post a guest chapter on Secretary Woes!! the wonderful digijack made me an Official Co-Author on it so once in a while i might be a special guest homosexual doin a chapter!

there are only three chapters as of posting this but its a gr8 story and will be detailing an au where a 100% natural human rhys becomes jack’s newest PA/plaything, so!!! check it out if you’re interested!!!