A COURT OF STORMS AND SHADOWS. PART TWO.
AN; so here is part two of my ELRIEL FIC. Please note, yes there is going to be a hefty love triangle; maybe even love square in this fanfiction. But it will a slow burn of Elain and Azriel. There will be lots of ups and downs; pov changes. The next chapter will have Azriel in it, so don’t worry, and if I get enough inboxes/likes ect. I might put it up sooner!
Storyline: This follows Elains story three months after the solistice. While trying to figure out why Azriel all of a sudden has no interest in her, and Lucien is all a sudden someone she can talk too, she’s left reeling with lots of different emotions. Especially when she begins to realise there may be more to the mating bonds intetions than meets the eye.
Coupling: Elriel / with other love interests throughout.
The morning light seeped through the thin chiffon curtains that breezed from the window left ajar, to which she'd forgotten to shut the previous night; her eyes had peered into that moonlight garden for what felt like an eternity, wishing and hoping for different outcomes than the life she was currently leading. Wishing for Azriel. It was something she hadn't really felt before. Not even when she'd been with Grayson. That name could have made bile rise up from her throat, but she swallowed it down with an almighty suck in of air. Sometimes at night her ex fiance's face would find its way into her dreams; a torment of who she was meant to be and who she was now. Stirring in the too large bed, Elain's mouth fluttered open into a creeping yawn that brought her back into the world of the living.
Into a world of invisibility.
The thought cut through that morning facade she sometimes let herself lay in before she dragged herself back into the routine she maintained. The image she conjouerd up for everyone. The ever-dotting fawn. A grumble falling from her pink lips, crushed by the pillow.
Rolling onto her back, Elain took a moment to stare at the ceiling above. She knew it must be around early morning from the soft sounds that poured in from the window. She wondered how long it'd be before the twins sweeped in, preparing her for the day. The tasks would be the same; breakfast, tend the gardens, flurry around the house and maybe spend some time with Feyre and Nyx before the circle descended chaos upon the house. She just hoped that tonight Azriel may decide to stay at The House of Wind. She wasn't sure she could deal with seeing him after last night. She wasn't sure if she could keep herself together.
Her hands smoothed over the silk of the bed sheet, as she sighed.
She'd always liked this bedroom, the colours of sweet soft crushing pink and evergreen, flurries of different plants peppered around the room and the four poster bed had intricate carved vines etched into the oak, while gossimere drapped with stitched flowers. A room fit for a lover of gardens; she smiled at that thought. She loved the serenity of flowers. How they could be come unruly if not tamed and cared for. Like herself. That was how she felt. She was a rose being crushed amongst an overflowing garden of chaos. It was the best way she could describe what was going on inside her chest.
The mixed scents of the candle Rhysand had gifted her at Solistice, the remenants was something she'd never been able to place and always seemed to forget to ask him. She made a mental note to double check when she saw Rhysand later that day. She turned her gaze to the pumkin coloured candle and smiled. She seemed in better spirits than the night previous, but still she could feel that heaviness in her heart. Gnawing away.
However, he train of thought was then changed when a knock at her door drew her attention back to reality. Elain looked to the window, a small smile now gracing those lips. She'd always felt comfort in the twins; they were friends, and maybe the realest ones she'd ever had. So with ease Elain's voice wafted through the oak wooden door with confidence.
The creak of the door, had her begining to stand, but she came to a stuttering clamber of sheets, yanking the covers up to her chest when firey hair peaked his head around the corner. It was Lucien Vanserra. Her Mate. The thought alone had that bile sitting in the back of her throat; but it was different from the kind she'd used to feel for Grayson. This was a wholly different feeling.
She felt sweaty instantly, palms clammy and unaturual.
''Sorry, Lady Elain.'' Lucien coughed, gaze averted to the wooden ground. It took Elain only a second to notice Lucien's expression. He was as shocked to see her in bed as she was. She furrowed her own brows. What time was it?' ''I didn't realise you'd still be sleeping at this time.'' He apologised with a bow, already backing out of the door.
''What time is it?'' Elain asked confused, her head cocking to the side. Lucien wished for a second he could have captured that early morning look into one of Feyre's paintings. The way her messy hair still looked tamed and perfect, the sun glistening off her bambi eyes and those slightly pink parted lips. He had to gulp thickly to find that air he knew he was no lacking. Was it always this hard to breath in front of mates? How had Rhysand and Feyre managed to stay alive? He felt like it was driving him crazy. Not in the mad-insanity kind of way. But in the way he wished he could be the fire in her life. Burning for her.
''Almost 11, my lady.'' He managed to choke out. She must have noticed his tone, her face once again setting into an expression of indifference. It was better that way. She did not hate Lucien. How could she? He hadn't planned this, and she hadn't asked for it. But yet, he still felt this need to chase an invisible thread. One that sometimes appeared in her dreams, begging her to chase it to the end.
To him.
Elain looked back to the window, now realising it was no where near as early as she'd originally thought. And she was shocked; she never slept this late. And no one ever left her to wake up this late? If she needed extra time, she was always granted it, but usually she'd have been fussed awake by Nuala by now. Lucien could see she felt uncomfortable, so as always, he began to retreat.
She wasn't sure why she asked, but she did.
''Lucien--- what are you doing here?''
He stayed silent. She felt that tug; the golden thread that was meant to guide them to one another. Take them on the journey that had been planned by the stars and the cauldron. One of great wonder and mystery; or that was how Rhysand and Feyre spoke about it.
''I was coming to ask if you'd like to accompany me to the house of wind?'' He said matter-of-factly, shoving his hands deep within his pockets. Something that looked so different when Lucien did it incomparison to Rhysand or Azriel.
''Why?'' Her voice was sharper than she'd meant, almost shrinking back from herself. When had she become so ballsy? It was coming out like spouts of fire every now and then, and it wasn't going unnoticed by the Inner Circle. Often she heard whisperings from Feyre telling them to let her be; but to her it just felt like she was still being coddled and protected.
''The rest have already left---'' He jerked his thumb over his shoulder, in no general direction. ''There were meetings and the twins are on errands for Rhysand---'' He was stumbling for reasons she didn't know, so her brow arched. ''Rhysand said you'd be left unaccompanied, and I just wanted to offer.''
She knew this was a set up. A way to get them alone. To bond. She'd have scoffed out loud if she hadn't felt somewhat bad for his futile attempt. This would have been Rhys and Feyre pushing the situation together, hoping and preying she'd give in to this 'thing.'
''I think I'll stay.'' Elain muttered under her breath, sounding weak and distant. As she always was when Lucien was around. Come to think of it, she was pretty sure this was the longest conversation they'd ever had, especially with no one else around.
''As you wish.'' He looked dissapointed, but said no more as he bowed, already making to leave. But there was something in his tone, and Azriel's face flashed into her memory. He'd called her a mistake. What if she spent her entire life wondering if she was just that. Was that how Lucien would come to see the mating bond? A mistake? Because she didn't want him either, as Azriel didn't want her. Her own brows then came together, flashing her gaze to her hands, wringing in and out of each other; she huffed a breath and spoke before she could stop herself.
''Lucien---'' She interrupted with a little more urgency than she'd meant. Her eyes were fixed on him now, dead bolted. It was like he'd gone wholly still. He stopped on the spot, his brows pulled together while his mechanical whirled on her.
''Yes, Elain?'' Voice steady and kind. Always kind.
Elain pulled the covers around her more, keeping her eyes on the covers that enveloped her body. She was a modest woman, she'd never lost that regal ability about her, walking or dashing past always had eyes lingering on her. A naturual beauty. Pristine. But Lucien could see something else beneath that porcelain skin; something that called to him.
''The--- this...tug.'' Her hand found that place, just to the left of her body where her heart was. Where that feeling thundered in his presence. The second she mentioned it, his own hand found that spot; giving a nod, encouragment that he knew exactly what she was talking about. What it felt like.
She wondered if it felt like a ghost was guiding him towards something that thouroughly hated him. But her lips parted; she felt that. That thought, her own face crumpling. Did he think she hated him because of the bond?
''I don't...'' she swallowed thickly, now unable to look at him. His own face fell. He wasn't sure what she was going to say, but the opening sentence hadn't been the most promising. His hand remained over his heart however, pulling and calling to him.
''I don't hate you.'' She whispered, not wanting to make him feel worse than he must have already. She knew how she'd been, how she'd acted. Like he was the most dispicable thing. She hated the bond. Not him. She didn't want to be in a life that was chosen for her. She wanted to live for life as she saw fit, for love and laughter. Not for fate. Fate could combust for all she cared. To hell with the god damn cauldron! But this wasn't just about her. There was another soul, another heart involved in this. And she wasn't sure why this was now coming to her mind? Maybe it was Azriel. But she had to say something.
''I can't explain this right now, but this--- what ever this is? It's not something I've ever wanted. Things being chosen for me, and I know that sounds silly because I came from the mortal realm where we are married off to those who offer the most money or the best asssets'' Her own lip trembled, because she didn't want to talk about it. She wanted to sweep it under the rug, pretend that it never exsisted. But she also couldn't just expect him to go away, she knew that much. ''But after having everything stripped away, taken from me--- I want choices. I want to be able to decide how my life goes and who comes with it...'' And there was her answer. She let her eyes find anything to latch onto, just not him.
''I understand it's stronger for you, or that's what Feyre said...it's like this..'' Elain pressed her hand flat against the expanse of her lower throat.
''Fire. Like there's a fire burning, all consuming and bright, into the deepest part of my core and constantly.... constanstantly aching.'' His own voice was now weak and Elain looked at him with wide eyes. She'd never thought of that tug like that. She'd never felt it like that.
''Fire?'' She asked hestitantly. Lucien looked at her for a second, as if contemplating if he should say more, so he finally pushed the door open, standing and filling the entire door way; casting a shadow in his wake.
They were so different to Azriel's shadows, she thought.
''When I walk into somewhere you are, or you've been...it's like theres this flash of hot ire burning through my veins. Like you're calling for me and no matter how much I try to ignore it, I can't stop that feeling'' He raised his arm, as if she could see it and dropped it just as quickly, feeling awkward and on the spot. ''And it's the mating bond---'' he stopped, seeing her wince when he said it, instantly feeling guilty but never shifting. He stood strong now, jutting his chin to look directly at her.
''Like the mating bond is telling me that you're the only one that can calm it. Cure it.'' The fire, she realised he'd meant, the need for her. Elain was meant to be the equal to him in every way. To go side by side in harmony. But why him? What was it that Lucien had that meant they were bonded; that connected them so deeply. Elain knew he'd revealed something deep from within side him, told her when she'd asked and yet, even with her pushing, he'd still been polite.
Had never said she was a mistake. Never pretended she didn't exsist. Or matter.
''Give me half an hour and I'll meet you down stairs.'' Elain whispered under hushed breath.
''Elain you don't have---''
''I know I don't have. But seeing as you're shackled to me, I should at least give you the decency to understand that just because we're bonded does not mean you're going to want to spend the rest of your life with me.'' Her laugh was humourless, but she didn't move. But there was a growl in his voice, deep and primal.
''Why would I be....shackled to you?'' His voice now had a new edge, laced with a quiet venom she'd never heard before. There was that bond, shining on his face, anger evident; if someone had said that to her, he knew he'd cut them from navel to nose.
''Because Lucien, I'm a mistake and invisible.'' She breathed, and that bond went taut. She gasped, his mouth falling slightly ajar. What was that? She didn't ask it outloud. That pull towards him, his own hands flexing by his side. He had that urge to go to her and protect.
''I don't think you're either of those things, Elain. In fact, I think you're quite the opposite.'' Lucien's voice was low, rumbling but his lips were curled into a snarl. ''I hope that is just your mind running wild, because I don't see mistake or invisible anywhere in your future.''
She wanted to laugh. She could see the future, so why couldn't she see her own?
''What do you see?'' Elain asked, eyes weary of his answer.
''What ever you want. That's what I see. And hopefully, somewhere in there, me.''
The last line had her eyes slowly rising, until they were fully upon him. Heart hammering, tugging and screaming for her to go to him. Somewhere in there, me, He'd said.
''I'll be down as soon as I'm ready.'' She reaffirmed and Lucien didn't wait any longer, slipping from the room as the door came to a click shut behind him. She let out a breath she hadn't even realised she'd been holding, shaking hands finally letting go over the covers as it drifted back to her lap. Why had she agreed to go with him? She had no intention of invoking anything with the bond; but it was like she'd been unable to stop herself. Unable to stop that toppling need to go to him.
She shook her head, throwing her feet to the window floor lightly. Elain caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror across and grimanced. There really must be a bond in place if he'd thought her to look anything but disatisfactory this morning, she'd countered with a sigh. And just like that, she began to ready herself for her day. And for the first time in a long time, Elain realised, she had no idea what today may bring.
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