I don't often publish content where I simply vent about everything that happens to me or my family, friendly and relational situation to the point of crying my eyes out, but it is necessary to remove so many pebbles on the shoe that I have been silent for as long as I can remember.
For many, the beginning of summer is spending unforgettable days, full, breathing new air, seeing something never seen before, together with those you love, those you love, but for me (as for someone else) it hasn't been like this for a long time.
Now it's a race to survival: you have to do everything you can to not get bored or stay on the internet for a long time between drawing, writing, editing, watching shows, creating videos on YouTube, reading or playing games, you don't have a routine or a roadmap, you just have to improvise something even on the point of blowing everything up, even on the point of having a crisis of ideas, even on the point of getting tired, even on the point of procrastinating and postponing something continuously.
In the meantime, those few friends you have, will be moving on to a memorable vacation, and even your partner in the distance, and while we're there, for most of the summer from June onwards, my feed and home will be full of images of the pride between smiling couples, kisses and rainbow flags in the middle of the sky, and you're standing there to watch all this behind a screen, just when you completely lost that desire to come to the pride with someone, and the last time I went there (in 2024) I felt like a dog on a leash.
Between a long-distance parter who doesn't like to come to crowded places and full of overstimulations like the pride of which not two we never have the perfect opportunity to see each other after 2 years, between “”””friends””” busy doing their business, and a family always tired and busy, what do you have left? What roads do you have in front of you?
You just have to endure, you just have to survive, even in the middle of such a critical political climate, between insecure men from the manosphere or incel communities who will talk about the month of male mental health
Like a scarecrow to shut the mouth to those who fight and do everything to improve this horrible world and not at all safe for women and queer people, among the "class traitors" who obtain privileges from the status quo by oppressing those who are worse off than them just to say "yes they are gay but they are not like those woke gays", and you come to tell us queer people who have been fighting with pride for more than 50 years to live our identity, our expressiveness and love for someone, we are the ones who try hatred.
But there is a positive side after all: I feel happy and proud of myself every time I produce something like drawings, chapters, edits, videos on YouTube, etc... because at least in my small way I am busy even in silence to follow my dreams, something really warms my heart, even in finishing a TV series that you didn't have time to start, or a comic, even just in starting or completing that video game that you never touched after buying it.
"Well. At least I did something after all.”
A sentence said between me and me while I look at my posts or whatever I've done, with a bittersweet smile, and that at least you managed to survive once again.
