having feelings that contradict your morals is soooo fucking annnoooooyyyiiingggggg. can the emotions and logic department get on the same page im tired of having to like strangle myself into being a tolerable person

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@ilyvshka
having feelings that contradict your morals is soooo fucking annnoooooyyyiiingggggg. can the emotions and logic department get on the same page im tired of having to like strangle myself into being a tolerable person
Connor Storrie behind the scenes of Criminal Minds
i feel like shane didnt grow up w pets bc Yuna had enough to think about and Davids job had him traveling more when they were younger but one day Shane and Ilya come to family dinner during like the 2025 season or something and Yuna has adopted a standoffish little black cat with white paws named Anthony Mittens
im sorry it's so funny to me how aemond and aegon are having a telepathic argument about which of them was their mother's favorite child and all the while she literally traded them both in a heartbeat for helaena's life weeks ago
although i absolutely adore both writing and reading angsty fic about miscommunications born of insecurity, i think canonically neither ilya nor shane is an insecure person. they're actually both very confident, sometimes cocky, and i don't think there are signs that's an act!
shane's problem isn't insecurity, it's shame. he doesn't think he's not good enough, he thinks there is something wrong with him that he has to keep secret at all costs lest everyone find out and punish him for it
ilya's problem isn't insecurity, it's self-hatred. he doesn't think he's not good enough, he thinks there is a deep well of badness inside himself that will ultimately destroy him and the people he loves
what i'm saying is that there are a lot of different ways to feel terrible about yourself and we should branch out!
Ksenia Daniela Kharlamova for Fashion Magazine Canada
Mysaria trying to pass Medicare for All, Daemons trying to get Martial Law declared, Baela and Addam being the heads of the wildlife management, Orwyle is busy running Westero’s first planned parenthood, and Rhaenyra is trying to take out the oppositions nuclear war capabilities. Absolutely no agreement and nobody is in lockstep. Welcome back the modern Democratic Party
i am terminally A Sucker for characters who have a towering and generally earned ego about their own ability and absolutely no self-worth about themselves as a person at all. intoxicating combo.
Ilya clocks the way David is almost supernaturally attentive towards Yuna's every need - her eyebrow twitches while she's reading emails on the couch after dinner and suddenly David appears with a full wineglass of her favourite merlot; she'll be chatting with Shane at the kitchen counter and he'll materialize with an aromatic tea in hand that he'll deposit with a kiss to her cheek; David almost always returns from the shops with a little treat just for her that he delivers with an exaggerated flourish to make her laugh - and Ilya is Noticing and Seeing™ 👀👀👀 all of this, but he is keeping his mouth shut
Say it again in russian please...
also a poem from the new, unreleased collection. very possibly my own all-time favourite.
Not anymore.
nothinggg is more ilya than the tampa hotel room sequence where shane comes out, ilya acts like a dick while keeping himself physically as far from shane as possible, shane gets his feelings hurt and starts looking a little chin-wobbly, and ilya audibly GROANS and flings himself across the room to sit next to him on the bed. but he’s still not looking at shane or touching him because ilya is NOT here to comfort him or anything ok he just randomly and totally unrelatedly got tired of standing up at the exact moment that shane’s big brown eyes started getting all wet and shiny with tears and the nearest place to sit down happened to be on the bed next to shane. do NOT read anything into this none of this means ANYTHING (in under two minutes he will be crying in shane’s arms btw)
"haunting the narrative" is one of those phrases i wanna put up on a shelf. not all characters that are dead haunt the narrative. not all characters that are dead haunt the narrative. not all characters that haunt the narrative are dead.
a character who haunts the narrative is a character whose presence in the story itself is sparse to none (!!!!!) but whose actions have major consequences to the story and help to build the theme of the work (!!!!!!!!!) if blorbo blingus doesnt tick both these boxes then im sorry. they are not haunting the narrative. they just died.
#if the story cannot work without them but also cannot work if they’re present/alive? They might just be haunting the narrative (via @passerparvus)
actually have nothing funny or snarky to say about episode 5. this is just actually the most moving and heartwrenching television i've ever witnessed and it changed my life. it changed so many people's lives. sometimes i'm like the hr hype is lowkey a little too insane and then i watch this episode and i feel like the world writ large actually underreacted to how legendary this episode was. i too would actually soul bond with francois, hudson, and connor if i witnessed this live in the dead of winter.
like i'm sorry rr/tierney ate with this....... like the idea that someone else coming out being the impetous for you yourself taking a big leap of faith too is so like. what being gay and in a community is about. like you just literally don't know you aren't the only one if someone doesn't come out and do something so ridiculously brave. sorry i'm being so earnest about this because i'm writing this mid tears. like that thing jacob said about how scott's coming out needs to be outlandish and loud to contrast the like quiet and tender coming together of shane and ilya. the problem with this show is that it's literally that good.