Yikes™

[pineapples-are-berries]

Predictive text knows what's up

[amazoogle]

my keyboard

[memegod]

[brucebocchi]

[teathattast]

the hunger

[devenka]

why would he eat like that

[teathattast]

the hunger

[hayley566]

The cronch goblin

[thottielamottie]

me at the craquer barrél when they bring my mac and cheese out

[racingbarakarts]

My fiancé just whispered in my ear, “you’re my secret Santa”

so I said “what?”

And he went, “ah shit I meant soulmate”

[racingbarakarts]

The boy forgot the word for soulmate and his brain thought, “it’s called secret Santa”

[talkgentlytome]

[mercedesbenzodiazepine]

[catchymemes]

[severestudentsoulampomothill1972]

Meet Women Looking For Sex! Sex Dating Site For People Who Want Sex, Join Free.

[m4a1-shermayne]

This turtle is in hell and all you can think about is cum

[boota]

[turing-tested]

[mitochondriaandbunnies]

Dan and I bought a thing called “long ziti” from the local Weird Bargain Store, largely as a joke, but…. I have never had a more unsettling pasta experience in my life. They wouldn’t bend enough to cook from top to bottom simultaneously, and while they were cooking boiling water kept spouting out from the tops of them out of the pot, like a boiling pipe organ. Then they were so long and floppy and hoselike that we couldn’t pick them up with anything other than tongs, and then they were so long and unwieldy that it was basically impossible to sauce them without them all slithering out of the bowl like wet snakes. They then proceeded to cool down almost completely within the the seconds it took to walk to the living room. Eating them was like eating a bowl full half melted drinking straws.

[elemeno-pee]

Bringing back Long Ziti for another round because it’s just too funny

[cricketsqueak]

real life creepypasta

[c-bassmeow]

[dashaibo]

Gay people from 1950-2010: we are human just like you, we’re not another species or a subculture, the only difference is that we are attracted to the same gender.

Gay people in 2018: straight people are stinky, WIG!

[if-only-angels-could-prevail]

straight people ARE stinky

[if-only-angels-could-prevail]

wig!

[salty-red-mage]

[d-sneyprincess]

[the-man-and-the-mouse]

even the princesses fangirl over peter

except aurora 

that bitch be faithful

[theincredibleelastigirl]

look at phillip though

can you blame her?

[hecallsmepineappleprincess]

Goddamn. Phillip could get the business.

[queer-nihilist]

So I went to Disney about a month ago and i got to meet aurora. she asked me and my mom if there were any “princes’” with us today. When I told her that I leaned more toward princesses she looked over at Cinderella sighed and replied with “yeah me too” and I think about that a lot.

[swagakuya-brogami-deactivated20]

Oh my

[dankmemeuniversity]

[swarnpert]

wine tasting but instead with hard liquors

[swarnpert]

do i detect a hint of sharpie marker

[wlwellbutrin]

one of my friends who never uses facebook just logged in to post “currently going beastmode on the fool who pilfered my lint roller”

[wlwellbutrin]

[gaypeopletwitter]