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[burgerdotcom]

reblogs were off

[probablybadrpgideas]

Probably Bad Spell Idea:

Dispel All Healing:

When cast upon a target, the effects of all magical healing that the target has ever experienced are immediately unraveled.

This includes healing spells, healing potions, rings of regeneration, or other magics that cause the restoration of lost hit points, divine, arcane, primal, or otherwise.

This may have no impact on peasants, merchants, many bandits, or other characters in mundane professions who may never have encountered healing magics.

Conversely, the effect on high-level adventurers may be extremely messy.

ah, hyperscurvy

[prokopetz]

Leaving aside any moralising about the Quest For Truth™ and whether people "should" be annoyed at getting publicly corrected, the real reason you need to learn to rein in the impulse to issue an immediate correction any time you hear something that doesn't sound right to you is because pretty often you're simply going to be mistaken about which one of you is mistaken, and if you're the sort of person who feels the Urge to Correct, you know darn well that being corrected incorrectly makes you want to set that person on fire.

[prokopetz]

Horses exist in zoos, you're pretty sure. That's where they, more or less, belong. It's not like there's a stable next to the auto shop or something. Are there… wild horses? In… nature? Presumably, at some point, there must have been. Probably not, anymore. Oh, the race tracks, though. Duh. They probably have stables. Couldn't lose twenty thousand wen a day if there weren't losing horses to bet on. Horses don't belong at the gas station, but there's one here anyways. Its rider is wearing a leather jacket studded with old military medals; what looks like a torso-sized cogwheel, slung over her back like a shield; a broadsword, underneath the cog-shield; and a pair of holo-screen shades. She dismounts. She slides her card through the machine. The pumps start pumping. The horse sticks out its neck, dips its snout, and begins drinking gasoline directly from the nozzle. The rider holds the spout up to the horse's mouth, at a bit of an awkward angle. She meets your eyes, and shrugs. You know how it is. You don't know how it is. Later, you will see her on the news, clotheslining a police officer on horseback at seventy miles per hour. You will understand even less, and also, so much more.

— Emily Zhu, Ten Thousand Days For the Sword

[seat-safety-switch]

Things have gotten so P.C. nowadays that you can't even call a forklift a forklift. Suddenly, every piece of "power lifting equipment" in your shop needs a special name. Even the mutant bullshit like telehandlers don't want to be called something cool like zoom-booms anymore.

The other day, the intern and I are out at Subway. Van saying "lift trucks" comes by. Picture on the side? You guessed it. Forklift.

"Skip," my intern explains - I don't like to be called boss, and he's nice and doesn't do that - "that's what the manufacturers want us to call them now. A forklift is too reductive, obscures nuance. Imagine if you had a huge shop full of these things, you'd need to know the difference between a reach truck and a stacker."

He makes an excellent point, which I admit by silently chewing on my Mesquite Chicken Power Bowl. I have ordered it meticulously, in order to accommodate my unique dietary needs. Some people think that's unimportant, and I should just get one of the combos and not explain myself to the Sandwich Artist every time. They're wrong, it's critical that I be recognized for who I am. Safer for everyone, too.

Even though it draws so much embarrassment when I misname the things, I just can't get over how every forklift insists on its own special name. My grandfather never had to put up with that kind of nonsense. He'd just get out there in the morning, lift up a car with whatever he had on the jobsite, and steal the catalytic converter. Then he'd go to the bar, and sob in the bathroom for a couple of hours at home by himself without ever explaining to any of us what was going on. Probably saw all this coming.

[viralfrog]

[dragongirlbunny]

[solitairians]

listening to an album you used to love but overplayed for yourself after a really long time after the overplayedness has worn off and it sounds like it's supposed to again is the closest to being in heaven you can get during your mortal life i think

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

OP: When you walk the Jianghu, be fast (cr 兜里有糖)

[teaboot]

ARE THESE BIRDS❔❔❔

[reishidreams]

Reishi farmin’

[localgothdiz-archive]

It’s the Mush Room

[botanyshitposts]

this is where u wake up to get judged when u die 

[cipheramnesia]

Interdimensional House of Pancakes

[sakura-rose12]

So I had a funny dream the other night.

It involved a very gay witch.

[prokopetz]

It's a shame that porn games and sim games don't have a lot of present overlap, because I feel like "horny mechsplo game where you have to actually win the fights to get to the sexy bits and it's one of those hyper-detailed 1990s era mech piloting sims that uses every single key on the keyboard" would do numbers with a very particular audience.

[prokopetz]

Achieving player-level immersion by making you do this before you're allowed to jerk off:

[catgirlforeskin]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[gravitilly]

LOL

[scribefindegil]

Everyone is so weird about people who cry easily. Fellas, is it evil and manipulative to *checks notes* have an involuntary stress response?

[bluishorange]

actually a coworker of mine said something interesting about this. I was saying that I truly can’t help how easily I cry, and I hate when people assume I do it on purpose.

and he paused for a second and then said, “when you’ve been taught from a young age that crying is weak and you should train yourself never to cry for any reason, you assume that everyone else has trained themselves too, so anyone who cries has to be doing it on purpose. it took me a long time to realize that wasn’t true.”

listen we’re never gonna run out of ways the patriarchy hurts all of us.

[prokopetz]

The warping influence of Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition on what people think a "story focused" tabletop RPG is definitely has a video game cousin where the only console RPGs some people have ever played are Dark Souls clones and they think a "strong narrative" is when the environmental storytelling toilet skeleton has two paragraphs of lore instead of one.

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

OP: Customer service wants video proof that my rice cooker is giving electric shocks

[phuijl]

[probablybadrpgideas]

Not my post but saw this on fb and thought you needed it for your weird dice wednesday collection

­

[prokopetz]

Studying the military history of the British Isles is fun because you'll be reading a fairly straight-laced contemporary account of a minor border skirmish and the chronicler will just randomly pop out with "oh, and this one guy fought for three days without rest and single-handedly killed nine hundred men", and it will be broadly agreed that this is one of the more grounded and reliable sources.

[prokopetz]

(Step two is, of course, the same anecdote being repeated in a different source two hundred years later, substantially similar in its particulars except the random guy has been replaced with King Arthur.)

[clubconsent]

Step three: someone notices nobody's seen anyone kill nine hundred men in three days lately, decides this is a symptom of the decline of civilization.