Heart Of Man

I am the beast that jerks upon the royals leash. Snapping at the vitals of those who turn blade to and back from. Let them see my true face, for I am no mere joke. Make them tremble in my presence and remember my purpose. Remember the numbers I have put down, how they are no more than a faint memory in the back of all's mind. tracking:Imafraidforyoursoul {INDIE RP, OC, Multi-Verse} M!A: Open

[angstmemes]

Basic Angst Starters

because sometimes what’s left to the imagination is much more terrifying.

“Are you feeling alright? You don’t look it.” “I just heard something… Something bad…” “Why didn’t you tell me about this?!” “What’s all this blood?!” “Will you tell me what the fuck is going on?” “Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!” “You should probably sit down for this.” “Please tell me you forgive me!” “I can’t live without you!” “Oh god, It was a mistake coming here… I’m sure of it.” “What the hell happened to you?!” “Where have you been?! I’ve been waiting for hours!” “You promised you wouldn’t do this anymore!” “I knew not to trust you!” “What’s that in your bag…? Is that–? Tell me it’s not!” “Is this what a dislocated shoulder feels like?!” “How could you do this to me?!” “Wake up! Wake up!!! You’re having a nightmare!” “I feel weird… what was in that drink…?” “I don’t want to leave you, but you’re not really giving me another option.” “Please… you’re scaring me…” “Ssh, I heard something again. How aren’t you hearing it? It was loud… and getting closer.” “Are you okay in there? You’ve been so quiet.” “I came as soon as I could! Did he/she get to you already?” “I don’t know whether I want to do this. I don’t know whether I CAN do this.” “Do you remember anything?” “You have to tell me who did this to you!” “No, no, I’m not alright. I’m definitely not alright.” “What’s your fucking problem?!” “Are you crying?” “You’re freaking me out! Please calm down!” “I’m leaving. And I’m not intending to come back.” “You… are dying?” “Did you drink the whole bottle while tripping? Seriously?” “Do you have a deathwish or something? Jesus!” “Ever been held at gunpoint? Want to know what it feels like?” “Stop screaming! Shh, calm down! You have to keep quiet!” “When’s the last time you slept?”.

[imafraidforyoursoul-blog1]

"wakey, wakey… eggs and bakey."

The cat was more responsive to the wake up call than the slumbering beast. Who could easily be missed if you merely glanced over the room with how he slept, when he slept. Some beds have lots of pillows but only half of them were with purpose while the other half was decoration. Not Peders bed. Everything had purpose and reason and that was to plop atop of and let REM sleep figure out the rest throughout the night.

[imafraidforyoursoul-blog1]

"pride only hurts. it never helps."

     “That is why I have learned never to carry it…”What he had was not pride, but a deep seeded envy that trickled out now and then. Despite the respect and care he showed for his higher ups, and the carefully balanced separation between him and his used to be fellow man, he found himself thirsting for the freedom and acceptance of the former while privately loathing the latter for their perks that he was starved of when they lived as equals. Even if he does not wish these things for himself, he envies for others. Which was possibly what hurt him most. It was nothing he could admit or even recognize in himself. It was there, however, and would be part of his subconscious for some time.

[bxthory-archive-deactivated2016]

                    TARANTINO FILM QUOTES MEME. 

         warning;; some of the content may be nsfw & politically incorrect.

“if you any of you sons of bitches have got anything else to say, now’s your fucking time." 

"you’re acting like a first year fucking thief. i’m acting like a professional." 

"listen kid, i’m not ‘gonna bullshit you, alright?" 

"i may be a bastard. but i’m not a fucking bastard.”

“thought that was pretty fucking funny, didn’t you?" 

"all you can do is pray for a quick death, which you ‘aint ‘gonna get." 

"you had my curiosity. but now you have my attention." 

"you silver tongue devil you.”

“i’m american, honey. our names don’t mean shit.”

“that woman deserves revenge. and we deserve to die.”

“wiggle your big toe.”

“do you find me sadistic?”

“i’m ‘gonna give you a little something you can’t take off.”

“say ‘what’ again. i dare ya. i double dare you, motherfucker.”

“leave the limbs you’ve lost. they belong to me now." 

"and what do i owe this dubious pleasure?" 

"you are all in my cool book." 

"is she dead? yes or no.”

“i’m the anti christ. you got me a vendetta kinda mood.”

“are you gonna bark all day, dog? or are you gonna bite." 

"i will never forgive your ass for this." 

"you have every right to ‘wanna get even." 

"it ‘aint suicide if you’re already dead." 

"have you ever given a foot massage?" 

"hate to shatter your ego, but this ‘aint the first time i’ve had a gun pointed at me." 

"word of advice, shit head. don’t you ever wake up.”

“you don’t owe her shit." 

"wakey, wakey… eggs and bakey." 

"i called him a miserable old fool." 

"was that a fucking set up or what?" 

"you serve the tea. i’m watching my soaps." 

"when are you ‘gonna learn that microwave food’ll kill you faster than a bullet?" 

"well, ‘aint you so sweet, you make sugar taste just like salt." 

"i’m gonna ask you questions. and every time you don’t give me answers, i’m going to cut something off." 

"under the circumstances, i think i ought to get a fucking academy award for how natural i’m acting." 

"a dogs got personality. personality goes a long way." 

"i haven’t killed anybody since 1984." 

"pride only hurts. it never helps." 

"now the first time you kill somebody, that’s the hardest." 

[ridleydaisy]

[futuroinevitavel]

lazy afternoon by voldy92 on Flickr.

[xx-johanna]

[imafraidforyoursoul-blog1]

“Ever heard of Spatial Awareness? Howard Gardner? You should because you’re doing him shame and I doubt you practice it-                                                                                    Now pay attention to whats around you.”

[whitepaperquotes]

[so-personal]

everything personal

[hollowcorpsearchive-deactivated]

              i am flesh               and blood               and tears               and anger

[wondergrowth]

Film Diary | 9 | 2015

Defiance | Edward Zwick | 2008 | 4/10

[floatinganchors-deactivated2015]

xx

[your-health-hazard]

[imafraidforyoursoul-blog1]

Floats through like a comet you see every few weeks

[christase-archived-deactivated2]

curiosity killed the boy

[christase-archived-deactivated2]

Chris looks up from sipping his orange

juice, confusion in his eyes as he listens to what Peder was saying. The older man looked tired, but then again, he always did, despite him barely sleeping a full night’s sleep and eating proper meals. The boy did notice. He just chose not to comment on it, knowing well Peder would just scoff at him if he asked.

“Um. We could go early?” he suggests. “I mean, if we arrive early to the next town, you’d have more time ta rest before yer next job, right?

Killin’ two birds with one stone. Or whatever shit like that..” he nervously chuckled at the lame attempt, and shoves more food into his mouth after.

[imafraidforyoursoul-blog1]

Now the beast had a lingering stare. It did not pry, but it did wonder, possibly giving a glimpse of the gears in his head turning. The boy knew Peder and rest was like some urban legend Rare and unseen, you think you saw something of it but really it was just him taking a long blink or something ridiculous. Besides, whats the difference between resting here and resting there? he dropped the stare and sipped thoughtfully at the coffee before raising his eyes again. “If that’s what you think...” He gave a dutiful nod and sat back with coffee in hand. “We can head out later today then. Give us enough time to gather ourselves and stretch before the drive ahead..”

To Peder it seemed like it was the boy who needed it and not him. A good stretch and rest that is.

[christase-archived-deactivated2]

curiosity killed the boy

[christase-archived-deactivated2]

The buffet area seemed blissfully

unaware of what had occurred last night as people scooped up their breakfasts onto their plates, mindless chatter as a backdrop to the tv playing the news on low volume.

Chris grabs himself a plate and began to fill it, though his mind was occupied with his strange companion.

He hoped he wasn’t being too obvious, but his nerves went haywire every time Peder is around now, he wonders how it would be like in the car when they leave for the next town.

He seats himself at a table by the windows, leaving the wall side for Peder because he knew the older man was wary of getting a bullet embedded into his back.

His plate consists bacon, eggs, a piece of toast with jam on it and a portion of baked beans. Along to go with it is a cup of orange juice, and on a usual day, he could have an extra helping of it all, but that morning, he ate rather slowly, appetite slowly fading as he tries to keep his mind off the horrible murder he witnessed Peder committed.

Chris jerked out of his thoughts as he feels Peder’s presence looming beside their table, eyes looking up warily as he slipped his fork onto the table.

“Uh, I got ya a cup of coffee, black,”

[imafraidforyoursoul-blog1]

The guard paused at the table side, eyes glancing over its contents and then back at the younger. On approach the kid seemed rather sluggish yet on top of his game in a unsettling way. Typically, he’d have to get his own coffee and whatever else he may want. Hell, hes vaguely sure that the kids plate would be half empty by the time he got down to the lobby. “... Thanks.” Peder pulled out a chair and took a seat, leaving his cellphone on the table where he could easily glance at it if needed. A hand easily found the mug without his eyes slipping from the boy. Initially he didn’t mean to stare but he was trying to calculate just why he was behaving strange. Was he sick? He doesn't look sick. Then again Peder was never the best judge of such things.

Finally he looked away to take a sip of the coffee with a pondering hum, letting the thought drop for the time being “We don’t have to be at the next location till late Saturday-” He glanced at Chris, “We can either leave here later or get there early. Personally, I’m up for either. So, it’s up to you..”

[christase-archived-deactivated2]

curiosity killed the boy

[christase-archived-deactivated2]

Chris bit his lip and waved his

hands as he opens his mouth to try and will words out,

“Um, uh- Well, I just guessed ya were waitin’ fer me there..” he says awkwardly before grabbing his jacket.

“I’ll get us a good table,” he says before leaving the room hastily. Once outside, he heaves a huge exhale, brushing his mop of hair back as he tried to calm his racing heart.

Shit, was he being too obvious? He had to chill, he didn’t want Peder to know he saw what he was doing that night. Peder wouldn’t like it, he’s always kept his job and past a secret from Chris.

Peder might even tell Chris off and leave him stranded in this town. Peder might threaten him if he were ever to break words to the  authorities. Shit, he might even send Chris  back to that horrible prison..

“Fuck,” Chris grits his teeth, making his way to the cafe where the buffet breakfast was held at.

[imafraidforyoursoul-blog1]

“Well, you certainly don’t have to wait for me,” Literally, it wasn’t like he was going to eat much anyways. Maybe a cup of coffee and some toast but nothing he cant scratch up real quick. It was Chris that wanted to eat and if Chris wanted to eat then he was gonna eat, no stopping him. But, apparently, he was stopping him? Making him hesitate? His sharp stare did waver as the boy made his leave and Peder quickly glanced around the room. As if an answer would present itself.

A few texts later Peder himself was slipping out the door of their room. Phone to his ear the whole way to the buffet. He only shared a few words, and what he did say was solely in his language. When he spotted Chris he seemingly worked to wrap up the conversation before hanging up right as he approached.