When God Closes A Door He Opens A Window.

Unfortunately we are on a plane ~ Prometheus System Main Blog ~ 21+

[evilwizard]

all my haters become craters when i cast the fireball of success

[chongoblog]

Cookies represent the body of Santa while the milk represents the blood of Santa

[snoozy-red-panda]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

[krystal-prisms]

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gosh I enjoy this website

[authoratmidnight]

For comparison, this is a daffodil

[quietlygrousing]

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

[maejacrezz007]

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

[fractiousrvt]

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

[blood-trip-god2]

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

[delphinidin4]

This is a marigold:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

[jmtorres]

“buttercups” is a name applied to MANY flowers. in my part of the south it was this one:

imo there’s correct identifications of dandelions, daffodils, easter lilies and marigolds in this thread, but buttercups are simply impossible to agree on and the only solution is for everyone to post pictures of their local buttercups

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??

[demon-and-human]

Hello I would like to add to the confusion:

That purple fella is a Morning Glory as told by my mothers (texan)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

⬆️ morning glory

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#amazing work everyone hit the flowers

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[memeuplift]

[madamewesker]

#I sit behind a desk all day looking at spreadsheets, making great money and ruining my eyes

#if burger flipper makes the same wages and benefits I have, I'd be thrilled for my comrades

[parkerposey]

I feel like a horse with no name is probably the best song in the world. Not even my Favorite song just the best

[parkerposey]

He’s literally just telling it like it is

[sealsdaily]

Today's Seals Are: CUTE And SWEET Dumpling Meeting

[hadesisqueer]

Two World Cup finalists from opposing teams in this fucking picture, this sport isn't real

[hadesisqueer]

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

[joyflameball]

[bigcommunity]

The unemployment rate got people inventing psychological warfare

[galileosballs]

"Why is it a problem if students use AI to get through college"

Because if you demonstrate to me that you're willing to set aside concern for truth, evidence, and verifying things with your own eyes whenever it happens to be inconvenient for you, I have a solemn responsibility to make sure you don't get into medical school.

[galileosballs]

"oh, but this course is just a distribution requirement, it's not for my major"

Does saying things that are true and that you know are true only matter when someone is giving you a little prize for it?

[galileosballs]

Tumblr doesn't like to do this kind of ethics, so I have to phrase this carefully, but it's a question of character. And a person's character is clearest when they're being asked to do the right thing even when it doesn't matter to them.

I don't want to live in a world in which doctors and lawyers and politicians just ignore the responsibility to research and verify when it's inconvenient for them. When they're busy. When they have something they'd rather be doing. The world I live in is already too full of those people in positions of power. I'll be damned if I let there be more of them.

[galileosballs]

Some of the responses to this have been, in essence, "well, it's not our fault for being raised in a bad educational system that prioritizes grades over comprehension". And you're right, it's not your fault.

But you freely admit the system is bad. That it values the wrong things.

So why do you limit yourself to only achieving what it values? Do you not aspire to be better than a system you know is wrong? Don't you want to change the world?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I do wish we could make it a little more socially acceptable to wander the streets at night weeping inconsolably I feel like that would have a great catharsis factor for a lot of people

[gandalfsbignaturals]

isnt it really cool how your memories can just physically attack you at random

[askmrtorgue]

LIST OF PROBLEMS THAT CANNOT BE SOLVED BY PUNCHING

ARM TIRED FROM TOO MUCH PUNCHING

CERTAIN SUDOKU PUZZLES

END OF LIST

[gleneth-paltrow-deactivated2018]

PROBLEM ONE CAN BE SOLVED BY USING YOUR OTHER ARM?

[askmrtorgue]

WE ARE IN A BRAVE NEW FRONTIER

[plaguedocboi]

“Today we are facing this way”

[plaguedocboi]

“Alright we’re gonna face this way now”

[redfagdiver]

Me: man I really wish I had a way to know where north is

The humble compass:

[jbt7493]

its really cool that we discovered glass which is the material that doesnt have any chemical reactions with anything in the universe very useful for doing chemistry due to being able to put things in it to contain chemical reactions and never having it react with the things that are in it due to it being completely and entirely unreactive to every chemical

[aorish-deactivated20251222]

Posts from a 17th century chymist who's about to have their bones dissolved by hydrofluoric acid.

[e-102]

HYDROFLUORIC ACID MENTION‼️

💀🧪

[moncoeursaignant]

DICKS OUT FOR HYDROFLUORIC ACID!!!

[e-102]

NOT A GOOD IDEA!!!!!

[kragehund-est]

me (wearing my ultra zoom x100 mega magnifying goggles): does your dog bite?"

you: what?

me: your dog?

tardigrade that lives in the stagnant puddle you happen to be standing beside: *chewing on a coincidentally squeaky toy shaped algae cell*

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

angels, deciding what shape to take when interacting with The Humans: well….eye contact is important to humans, right? they find it reassuring when they can see the eyes of the person they’re talking to. so if we have LOTS of eyes, in very visible places, that’ll be even MORE reassuring

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

can’t stop thinking how much sense it would make if every design choice angels made was just a misguided attempt to Relate To The Humans. imagine how those conversations went

wings: “humans don’t like things they can’t understand, so if we’re going to levitate we should have wings. in fact we should probably have lots of wings, since we’re so big and impressive. humans like wings”

loud, booming voices: “fuck off Azrael the humans needs to be able to hear us.”

glowing: “no no no, it’s about visibility, right? the main human sensory organ works by detecting light, so if we emit light…” 

wheels: “why the hell are you shaped like that?” “piss off, the humans are really proud of this invention”

multiple faces/eyes: “it makes me relatable” “i swear to God it doesn’t–” “i need to see in every direction” “ Azrael you are a supernatural messenger of god you do not need–” “THE HUMANS NEED TO KNOW I’M WATCHING”

multiple limbs: “humans have lots of limbs! they like limbs” “look i let you keep the wings but–” “how do you expect me to walk?” “70,000 feet is not a reasonable number of feet, Azrael!” “fuck off i’m ENORMOUS” 

general gross misapprehensions of biology: “holy shit are your wings made out of eyes?” “look before you say anything i’m like 100% sure i’ve seen animals who have both wings and eyes. and you can fit so many more in this way!” “….you godforsaken googly-eyed genius”

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#and this is why angels got so boring in the new testament after the Updated Guidelines were rolled out. “Four limbs???? i’m only allowed a maximum of FOUR LIMBS????? this is BULLSHIT”

#alternatively all the reported sightings of creepy ass angels was literally just the SAME angel  #just the same freak who kept changing its meatsuit for funsies before god caught on

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

ok i have REFINED my theory!

Old Testament Angels look like that because life in the ocean outnumbered life on land, so naturally when they visited earth they modeled their appearance on the most common lifeforms. Hench you get things like

radial symmetry (i.e. angels shaped like spheres) which is objectively cooler than bilateral symmetry (starfish understand this)

Very Numerous Limbs (2 is not the average number of arms in the ocean)

random glowing (bioluminescence)

just generally being objects of Absolute Terror to land dwellers

a thousand eyeballs being the Norm (have you seen scallops)

in the majority of inhabited Earth areas (i.e. anything deeper than the continental shelf) old school angels would actually pass as Normal And Relatably-Shaped Lifeforms

[only-tiktoks]

[modmad]

you're saying 'student' when I gotta tell you that pro film makers do very similar shit ALL the time this is just learning the craft

[modmad]