Conrad’s life changed completely in the fall. He went to college, moving out of his house, in a new city, far from his family and long-time friends, and even further from the girl he loved, all of this while his mother was severely hill, and with the fear of loosing her. All of this, summed to the pressure everyone mistakenly put on him of being the eldest one, and therefore having to take care of jeremiah, steven and belly. In this difficult time, he couldn’t rely on his brother either, because jeremiah iced him out for the entire year. Conrad really did his best to keep it together, but he couldn’t. Can you blame him?
Conrad let belly go, because he knew he wasn’t fully present in the relationship, and because he though he was hurting her, and that his darkness would have got to her. he did it because he thought it was what was best for her. Conrad is so clearly not toxic or the bad guy. Even if he often has a pretty direct and shitty attitude, he is always really trying to do what he thinks is best for everyone around him. He is a very sweet and pure soul, even if, with everything he had to deal with these past two years, he became a bit gloomy.
when we get lines like “if i had known that you cared that much about me and about us. if i had known then i would have fought for you. i thought you knew. from the moment we kissed on the beach i thought you knew.” how am i supposed to take “you don’t need to hurt yourself to get my attention” seriously i need them to be so fr
I'm going to write a thesis on how they have tried to gaslight us into believing Jeremiah is an angel among men when in actuality he is possessive, spoiled, and frankly, a jerk. I will no longer be made to feel that I'm the crazy one after it being clear in the books and since season 1 that my thesis statement is correct.
A/N: he's so beautiful i'm <333. anyways, sorry for dropping off of the face of planet earth, here's this. i tried to make this a lot angstier but i apparently do not have that ability. enjoy anyways :)
one shot, blurb, or head canon?: one shot
summary: conrad and y/n have been friends since they were born, but one kiss has her questioning everything.
pairing: conrad fisher x reader
warnings: this was written at 4 in the morning while i was delirious, so :), cursing, wandering hands, one smexy kiss, i believe that is it?
wc: 3397, she's a BIG ONE.
ever since i was born, my family has gone to spend the summer at the house of my mother’s best friend, susannah, in cousins beach. it has since become my favorite place in the entire world and throughout the other seasons of the year, i am left yearning for the summertime and craving the company of conrad fisher.
this summer is no different. we load into the car early in the morning so we can arrive in cousins at a decent time. my phone buzzes, notifying me of a text.
jeremiah 🙏
can’t wait to see y’all! are you on the way yet?
my sister, belly, replied before i even had the chance to fully read the message.
bells💕
can’t wait to see you either!
yep, we left about an hour ago.
steven👺
yo, this summer is gonna be so lit!
conrad <3
dude, who says lit anymore?
-> steven does, because he’s stuck in 2018 :/
steven whipped around in the front seat as belly snickered beside me.
“i am not stuck in 2018!” he said, sounding deeply offended. i threw my hands up.
“whatever you say,” i said. the sass king rolled his eyes and turned back around. my phone buzzed again, but this time it was a private message from conrad.
conrad <3
i’m assuming he got angry at you for saying that
i giggled at how well he knows our dynamic.
-> you know it
i’m excited to see you.
the text, which was seemingly normal, caused my heart to do a flip. why did that happen, you might ask? well, if you find the answer, let me know too because i’m clueless.
last summer, conrad and i spent a lot of time alone and… i won’t say we grew closer because we were already basically bonded at the hip, but it was like we had a deeper connection with each other. i started noticing the little things about him, like how his eyes sparkle when he laughs, or how he taps his fingers against his elbows when he’s angry, or how his voice sounds after he cries. there was always a painful ache whenever we had to leave cousins at the end of the summer, but last year it was a thousand times worse.
you might be thinking “duh, you’re in love with him,” but that’s not the case. you see, conrad is my best friend in the whole wide world, so i can’t be in love with him. no way.
after hesitating for way too long, i replied to his text.
-> I’m excited to see you too :)
after a long, aggravating (solely because of steven), cramped, car ride, we finally arrived. for some reason, my heart pounded in my chest as i opened the car door and exited the vehicle. jeremiah ran out of the house with susannah following right behind him.
“what’s up?!” jeremiah exclaimed as he embraced my mom. susannah beamed and welcomed me into her arms with a loving hug.
“oh my goodness, how are you?” she asked, but didn’t give me time to answer. “oh, it is so good to see you! look at how gorgeous you are! jeremiah, look at how beautiful she is!”
you remember how i said conrad is my best friend? well, that was a lie. jeremiah would kill me if he ever heard those words leave my mouth. i locked eyes with the tall, blue-eyed boy, and smiled brightly.
“well, look at you!” he laughed, running over to me and picking me up into a spinning hug.
“hey, what are you, 7’2 now?” i asked, giggling as he let me back down to earth.
“close, actually 7’3,” he said, poking my arm. i pushed his shoulder playfully.
that’s when i saw him. he was lurking in the doorway, looking as beautiful as ever. wait, i’m allowed to say he’s beautiful, right? right. he’s my friend. i can say my friend is beautiful.
“gonna go say hi to your boyfriend?” jeremiah whispered in my ear. i elbowed him in the gut, causing him to grunt.
“hey,” conrad said, running his hand through his perfect-... his brown hair.
“hi,” i replied. we looked at each other for a moment before he opened his arms to embrace me into a very awkward hug. we pulled away and he said hello to everyone else.
“alright, who’s ready for some food?” susannah asked.
at the dinner table, i sat sandwiched in between conrad and jeremiah as our families caught each other up on the past 9 months.
“so, belly, y/n, any special guys that have your attention back home?” susannah asked. i felt conrad’s gaze shift over to me, but i did not look up from my plate of food.
“i don't really exist to the guys back home,” belly said.
“well look what they’re missing out on,” susannah said. “y/n? anyone for you?”
“um, no. no one that i can think of,” i said.
“what about ethan?” steven asked. i furrowed my eyebrows at him.
“ooh, who’s ethan?” jeremiah asked beside me.
“he was this guy that i was talking to but he ditched me for someone else." the whole room was silent and i could feel pity floating in the air. i heard jeremiah take a deep breath next to me before patting his thighs.
“who wants some dessert?” he asked, standing up. i silently thanked him for changing the subject.
“ooh, yes, i made some strawberry cheesecake,” susannah said, following her youngest son into the kitchen.
“you guys want some?” my mom asked us. belly shook her head.
“i’m alright, i’m gonna finish unpacking,” she said, standing up. steven copied her actions.
“me too,” he said. my mom then looked at conrad and i.
“wanna share a slice?” he asked me. i nodded.
“yeah, we’ll share,” i repeated to my mom. she gave us a quick jerk of her head before striding into the kitchen. “i haven’t had cheesecake in forever,” i said, leaning back in my chair.
“maybe you should come to visit more often, you know she makes them like every week,” he said with a laugh. i giggled.
“maybe i should.”
we sat in silence for a few seconds, listening to the laughter and commotion in the kitchen.
“i didn’t know you were talking to someone,” he said, all of the sudden.
“yeah. i would have told you, but i didn’t know if it would go anywhere… and it didn’t, so..” i said. he nodded slowly, his bottom lip caught between his teeth.
“that sucks,” he said. i laughed at his bluntness.
“yeah, just a bit,” i said. awkward silence.
“i’m sorry that happened, you deserve better than that,” he said. i had been avoiding his eyes for most of this conversation, but looking into them now, i could tell he was being sincere. now, i, of course, do not do well in serious situations, so i ruffle his hair.
“awe, thanks connie,” i said. he scoffed, a smile on his face as susannah, my mom, and jeremiah brought 4 plates of cheesecake over. my mom set one in front of conrad and i.
“beck and i are gonna go eat in the living room,” she said. i nodded.
“thanks mom. and thank you for the cheesecake, other mom,” i said. susannah laughed.
“of course.”
conrad, jeremiah and i ate our slices, then i decided that i wanted to go swimming.
“you know you’re supposed to wait for 30 minutes after you eat to go swimming or else you’ll get cramps,” jeremiah said.
“that’s a myth, i’m going,” i said as i marched up the stairs.
"fine, but don't come crying to me when your stomach hurts!"
after changing into my bathing suit, i grabbed my towel and went downstairs, heading straight for the pool. i opened the sliding door and stepped outside, closing it behind me. i started my playlist on my phone and set it, along with my towel, on the edge of the pool before jumping in, the cool water causing goosebumps to erupt on my skin.
i had been swimming alone for about 5 minutes when i heard the sliding door open again. i looked over to see conrad stepping outside.
“hey,” i said.
“hey,” he replied. “mind if i join you?” he asked.
“not at all.”
he pulled his tank top off and i had to pull my eyes away from his body as he entered the pool.
“hey, i was thinking we could go to the gas station tomorrow and stock up on drinks and junk food for our movie marathon,” i said.
“oh yeah?” he asked, his eyebrows raised slightly and a faint smile playing at his lips. “what kind of movies?”
“marvel, duh. we already established this last year after our harry potter binge watch,” i said.
when you first meet conrad, you might think he’s this hot-shot that’s too cool for anything, but he’s actually 100% a nerd, and that’s just another thing to love about him.
“chronological order?” he asked.
“of course,” i stated. “there’s no other way to do it.”
“won’t it take like 24 straight hours to watch them all?” he asked, laughing.
“i don’t know, let me look,” i said, swimming over to where my phone was. ‘daft pretty boys’ by bad suns began playing as i looked it up. “holy shit, it’s 99 hours,” i said, looking back at him in awe. he began laughing.
“i was WAY off,” he said.
“just a bit,” i laughed. “do you still want to?” i asked.
“watch marvel?” he asked. i nodded. “yeah, of course.”
“good.”
we swam for a few minutes of comfortable silence before one of us decided to speak again.
“hey, c’mere, you got something in your hair,” conrad said, looking at the top of my head. i froze.
“is it a bug?” i asked. he furrowed his eyebrows.
“i don’t know, come here,” he said.
“oh my god, oh my god, get it out,” i said, freaking out and attempting to make my way over to him.
“well, come here,” he said, laughing. i grabbed his shoulders and he held my arm, reaching up to grab whatever the fuck was in my hair. he pulled it away and held it in front of me, and i could feel the panicked expression leave my face. “it’s a leaf,” he laughed. “you were freaking out for nothing.” i splashed some water at him and his jaw dropped. “oh, really?” i shrieked as he sent a shit ton of water my way, attempting to protect my eyes and splash him at the same time. “holy shit!” he laughed.
i made an attempt to run, which wasn't very smart, considering we are in water, and he caught me. his arms were looped around my waist and he lifted me up, spinning me around and pinning me against the side of the pool. he then began tickling me, causing a wheezy laughter to fall from my lips.
“sto- stop! conrad! i’m gonna kick you,” i laughed, trying to catch his hands. i finally managed to grab his wrists and push them away from me. “you’re a fucking asshole,” i said, out of breath from laughing so much.
“you're the one that fucking started it,” he laughed. one last giggle escaped my lips before i realized what a compromising position i was in. conrad was dangerously close to me and i was still pinned against the side of the pool.
i looked up into his eyes and my heart pounded in my chest as he stared down at me. i couldn’t stop myself from glancing at his lips and my grip on his wrists loosened. my mind was screaming at him to back away, but all my heart wanted was for him to be even closer. he raised his right hand, cupping my face and using his thumb to pull my lower lip down. in this moment, all common sense fled my brain and i wrapped my arms around his neck, closing the gap between us as quickly as possible. i pressed my lips against his and he reacted quickly, moving his lips in sync with mine as he grabbed the undersides of my thighs and lifted me up. i parted my lips, allowing him to slip his tongue into my mouth and he took that opportunity very quickly. his tongue pushed against mine and i let out a pathetic whimper into his mouth as i felt his hands grab my ass and pull me closer to him, if that was even possible.
this isn’t right. this shouldn’t be happening. but, the taste of him on my tongue is so good, i never want this to end. our tongues continued dancing around with each other until i finally had the strength to push him away.
“i’m sorry,” i said, keeping my hand steady on his chest.
“what? what’s wrong?” he asked.
“we shouldn’t be doing this,” i said.
“why not?”
“because we’re just friends,” i said. his jaw slightly dropped.
“you know that’s not true,” he said, his voice low. i nibbled on my bottom lip, knowing i shouldn’t miss the feeling of him kissing me, but missing it anyways.
“i have to go,” i said, almost in a whisper.
“wait, y/n-” he was trying to reach for me, but i had already hauled myself out of the pool. i grabbed my phone and towel, wrapping it around me before running inside.
i closed the sliding door behind me and bolted up the stairs to my room, closing the door behind me. a few seconds later, i heard quick footsteps approaching, but i didn’t move a muscle. a knock sounded out on the door but i didn’t open it.
“y/n. please, open the door,” i heard him plead. “i just want to talk.” when i didn’t answer, he sighed. “if we’re just friends, how come you’re avoiding this conversation?” he waited a few more seconds before i heard his footsteps leaving.
for the rest of the night, i had to repeat to myself, ‘we’re just friends,’ but a nagging thought kept returning to my head. why am i avoiding the conversation if we are just friends?
i woke up the next morning to someone knocking on my door. i rubbed my eyes and sat up, yawning.
“come in,” i said, my voice sounding raspy. susannah walked into my room with a bright smile on her face.
“good morning,” she sang out.
“good morning,” i replied with a smile on my face.
“so, if you didn’t already have any plans for the day, i was thinking that you, belly, your mom and i could have a girls day out. get some shopping in, get our nails done, all that good stuff.”
i thought about the plans i had made with conrad to get junk food and watch marvel movies… and then i remembered our kiss.
“yes!” i said, a little too eagerly. “yes, that sounds great.”
“alright, well, get dressed and we’ll leave in about… 45 minutes?” she said. i nodded. she smiled and stood up, exiting the room and closing the door on her way out.
i groaned and let my face fall into my hands. i can’t believe i fucking kissed him. i can’t believe i fucking liked it. this is gonna ruin our friendship.
with a heavy heart, i dragged myself out of bed and forced my feet to walk over to the closet.
“we’re home!” susannah yelled once we got home from being out the whole day. no replies. she sighed and rolled her eyes. “we brought food,” she called out. footsteps came pounding down the stairs and i laughed when steven and jeremiah appeared.
“food?” steven asked. i rolled my eyes when he took the bag of food from belly and went into the kitchen. everyone followed behind him, eager to stuff their faces.
“jeremiah,” i said.
“hm?”
“where’s conrad?” i asked, unconsciously missing his presence.
“i’m not sure. he just said he was going out,” he replied. i nodded and followed the flock of hungry people to the kitchen.
later that night after everyone was asleep, i found myself in the kitchen. i opened the fridge, in search of a bottle of water, but all i got was the fright of my life when i closed the door and saw conrad standing in the dark.
“holy fuck! what are you doing? you scared the shit out of me!” i said. a slight smile played at his lips but he covered his mouth.
“i’m sorry,” he said, obviously trying not to laugh. i found myself having the same struggle. a laugh escaped and i shook my head.
“you’re a dumbass,” i smiled at him.
“i was just trying to get a water,” he laughed.
“well, me too, but instead i got a heart attack,” i said, lifting myself onto the island. a few seconds of silence passed before he spoke.
“can we talk?” he asked.
“we’re talking right now,” i said, even though i know that’s not what he meant.
“you know what i mean,” he said. i pursed my lips.
“what do you want to say?” i asked.
“well, first off, thanks for ditching me today,” he said, leaning against the counter opposite me. “i went to the gas station and got all of your favorites,” he said, motioning to the bag sitting on the island next to me. i suddenly felt the urge to cry.
“i’m sorry,” i said, looking down at my hands. the fact that he still went and got all of my favorite snacks even though i was avoiding him… god, why does he have to be so perfect?
“look at me,” he said. i obeyed immediately, looking into his green eyes. “why’d you run away last night?” he asked. i hesitated.
“i didn’t know what i was doing. we’re just friends,” i lied.
“y/n, friends don’t kiss like that,” he said, walking over to me and placing his hands on the counter on either side of me. my heart began pounding again as the scent of his familiar cologne enveloped me. “tell me the truth.”
“i was scared,” i said. his eyebrows furrowed.
“of me? did i do something wrong?” he asked. i shook my head no. “what were you scared of?” he asked, his voice soft. i looked back down at my hands. i’m not gonna be able to say this to his face.
“of admitting that i’m in love with you,” i said, just loud enough for him to hear. his breath audibly hitched. everything was silent and still for the next few seconds. with his left hand, he grabbed my chin and forced me to look up at him.
“you’re in love with me?” he asked. i nodded slowly.
“yes,” i said. he pursed his lips.
“why were you scared of telling me?” he asked. i took a deep, shaky breath.
“because i knew that it would become real once i admitted it to you and myself. i don’t want to ruin our friendship,” i said.
before i knew what was happening, we were kissing again. this time, it was slow and loving. lip locking that felt like it was making up for years of secret pining and yearning. once he pulled away, he pursed his lips.
“can i tell you something?” he asked, his left hand now holding the back of my neck and his right resting on the side of my thigh. i nodded.
“you’re not going to ruin our friendship. i’m in love with you.”
i didn’t think one sentence could cause such relief and content until i heard those words leave his mouth.
“you promise?” i asked. he held his right pinkie up. i linked mine with his and he kissed his hand. i mimicked his actions before wrapping my arms around him and laying my head against his chest. he rested his chin on my head and rubbed my back, letting me sink into the warmth and comfort of his body.
“i feel like i’m missing something,” steven said. oh no.
i have been very very very inactive recently and i am so so sorry so PLEASE SLAM ME WITH REQUESTS!!!! i just added a stranger things master list and one for the summer i turned pretty so please drop some ideas!! i'm in desperate need lols
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