I’ll Rot Your Teeth Down To Their Core.

I’m not angry anymore, well sometimes I am… It depends on the day. Background pfp: Geloy Concepcion (Name quoted from: “I’m not angry anymore - cummers) Pseudo-(previously just A.K.R) now A.K.Rⓧ Pfp artist: https://meowminto.tumblr.com/archive

[imnotbitteranymore-imsyrupysweet]

Museum Bombing:

“I’ve been good for a while,

I think?... I’m good... but then,

I wonder if I’m trying to convince myself.

Because lately, it’s been all too easy-

starving myself, of love, closeness, of art and all it’s richness.

To lay, and decay, all day, alone…

Anyways... that’s all grown easy for me, you see,

but, to do a damn thing else feels worlds away.

And I couldn’t swim or run there if I tried with all my might,

not even with my largest of stride.

Maybe that’s why I lay up sleepless every night.

I can see it just there, it keeps out running me,

just as all the things I love, try as I do.

It evades me just the same as the words that hang above me seem destined to.

So plain to see, yet in a language I can’t ever learn to read.

So, I don’t want to eat,

I barely even need to drink,

my need for life is gone... it seems,

as I sort out my thoughts to pages,

that an improbable truth is,

that try as I do,

I can’t stop from thinking of you.

Every minute of every day.

“It’s not fair” roars inside my head on repeat,

“none of it, not a goddamn part of my life.”

But I’m happy with how I turned out,

I’m happy with who I’ve grown to become!

That should be enough,

that's I'm proud of myself, all the work that I’ve done.

All the tears I’ve bleed for the fears I’ve faced.

That should count for a hundred times over all the hurt I can’t stop myself from fixating on.

Cause you’re gone,

and i should know better by now,

to let you stay gone.

But I always reach out,

hand caught once more in the trap.

You hurt but you mend,

I break and bend,

Over and over for you, again and again.

Doesn’t matter how alone,

how blue,

how long?

Doesn’t matter, one bit,

cause when you’re not with me time drags on,

when you are, it’s suspended like us.

When you left me hanging in the bomb dust,

breath labored,

scared as I was,

I stayed there waiting for the smoke to clear...

but once it did, you weren’t there.

Time?...

I have learned, never to trust.

Nor love or lust.” -A.K.Rx

(Pinning to go back to to edit sometimes into something more)

I’ll Rot Your Teeth Down To Their Core.

“Yeah, I’m nervous”… Every damn second that ticks on I can feel it painfully flowing through me. (Silently praying with each beat of my hea

[lunamonchtuna]

— Clarice Lispector, from The Complete Stories: 'Brasilia' (tr. Katrina Dodson) (via lunamonchtuna)

[imnotbitteranymore-imsyrupysweet]

I'd have it no other way. I choose the Dionysian overflow of life, as it's the only life. All else is illusion and, thus, hollow—so very hollow. - AKRx

[catchymemes]

[poemwav]

– Jackie Wang

[resqectable]

“I owe myself the biggest apology for putting up with what I didn’t deserve.”

— Unknown

[imnotbitteranymore-imsyrupysweet]

"I navigated the thorned path of kindness, though every step drew blood. In a world that had wounded us both so deeply, I chose to offer a tenderness beyond what was earned--a balm I believe we all deserve. But compassion is a choice made in both light and shadow, and your heart chose only to mock me from the darkness. True grace knows no distance; it would have found me whether you stood at my side or whispered my name from across the void." -- akrx

I now owe myself the deepest reverence for accepting less than the love my soul was always worth and finally see my own vast essence as a universe I was always meant to unearth.

[pink-heart-writes]

[nuttybarzz]

Note to self

[imnotbitteranymore-imsyrupysweet]

"Sometimes, to love a thing, you must let it choose for itself and respect it enough to go your own path, so it can go on its as well." -- AKRx

[aphrxditing]

[imnotbitteranymore-imsyrupysweet]

Before you realize it, all those things you long for will be yours, and those fears will have come and gone until you haven't any left. -- AKRx

[derangedrhythms]

Do you love death more than you love life?

Meg Wolitzer, Sleepwalking

[imnotbitteranymore-imsyrupysweet]

He and I, sea and sky.

He meets me, For a time–all time–is all I see. He is lightning slashed across midnight blue, Bright and brilliant, blinding, as he pierces through, The veil which separates. In my meeting such destruction, he celebrates. Cracking thunder, Rolling, harrowing screams of breaking timber. This is a gift, like Ganymede, he cannot help but plunder. Where or when it is to fall is not for our knowing. All of us pours into one another—glowing. I look on with my heart as nothing more than tinder, For this rod ripping through Aithír for me—golden, The color of sap against tree bark—amber. Zeus’s ambrosia-drenched lightning, which sends men to their graves; The jagged noise licking through into the ragged, raging waves, As if thrashing against all that it does not see or hear, Stupefied as much as the knobby-kneed baby deer. Drunkenly consumed by my beloved’s Ichor, Let it rain down and run on through me anyhow. Thunder rolling with a violent roar, ripping into my very core, Burning kisses laid to furrowed brow. Let me swim in nothingness, forevermore. It is my choice of poison, Every time, I've come to find, In every life. The storm sings on. Fighting to say all it feels but cannot yet find words to speak. I return my own song, However broken, however meek. There will be no dawn. There will be no night. All is gone. All is light. – AKRx

[solaceamidchaos]

I Wasn't Abused: I Was Eight

My personality was too sharp to swallow. My name clanged through the mouths of well-meaning adults who read fear as attitude, deep grief as crocodile tears, and silence as defiance.

I feared authority like a hand already raised. I couldn’t say sorry for what I didn’t do. So I learned quiet.

Fierce in cheetah print, rehearsing comebacks to myself at the lunch table, alone— my fists were lectures I swallowed.

I was eight, and the silence already had weight.

Posting this for anyone who got labeled instead of listened to. If it speaks to your inner kid, a reblog helps it find its people.

[imnotbitteranymore-imsyrupysweet]

This poem resonates so deeply with me. Thank you for sharing such a deeply personal experience and expression.

[lovelessbydesign]

Really really upset right now guys.

[infermiiterol]

[makomoriz]

i hope the anonymous person who sent the "i used to live in your house. i'm drunk in boston and it's the only address i know. happy holidays" postcard is aware that they wrote my favourite poem

[eatsoylentgreen]

[inkpressedpetals]

[kameneva]

love, buried three times

@kameneva

[lucidloving]

@roach-works // Melissa Broder, "Problem Area" // Mary Oliver, "The Return" // @annavonsyfert // Koyoharu Gotouge, Demon Slayer // Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance // David Levithan, How They Met and Other Stories // Tennessee Williams, Notebooks