Okay now when I listen to “Cruel Summer” all I can think about is Demi and Kristian before Demi leaves for BiP.
Fever dream high
In the quiet of the night
You know that I caught it (oh yeah, you're right, I want it)
They meet in casual settings with mutual friends hanging out. Whether the flirtation is instant or a slow burn, they can’t stop thinking about each other when they leave that night. They hope to run into each other again soon.
Bad, bad boys
Shiny toy with a price
You know that I bought it (oh yeah, you're right, I want it)
But in the back of Demi’s mind is BiP. She’s open to it, she’s signed up for it, she’s excited for it. But she knows that signing up for BiP means looking for a man; there isn’t even the “option” to explore things with women. Going means writing off another part of her for a period of time. Going means paying a price to try and find love.
Killing me slow, out the window
I'm always waiting for you to be waiting below
Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes
What doesn't kill me makes me want you more
But they’re still drawn to each other. While they’re apart, they hope the other makes an excuse to reach out or the mutual friend will orchestrate something fortuitous. The next time they finally do meet, things move much faster. The chemistry and connection is obvious and was always instant. It’s amazing and strong and so natural. And neither saw this coming or was even looking for it.
And it's new
The shape of your body, it's blue
The feeling I've got
And it's ooh, whoa oh
It's a cruel summer
Demi is upfront about BiP with Kristian and they start things with no road map of where things will be. The timing, of course, could not be worse. It would be one thing if the feelings had been one-sided, but neither of them were prepared for what they have. A huge change is on the horizon, slowly creeping towards them, and with each passing moment they fall more and more in love.
It's cool
That's what I tell 'em, no rules
In breakable heaven but
Ooh, whoa oh
It's a cruel summer
With you
When they’re together, it’s a private space where they can get to know each and grow together. There is no Bachelor Nation rules and it can unfold organically and at their own pace. But it’s temporary. Soon Demi will be off to one of the biggest stages, will be excepted to try and find love, and to have not found it before she gets there.
Hang your head low
In the glow of the vending machine
I'm not dying (oh yeah, you're right, I want it)
We say that we'll just screw it up in these trying times
We're not trying (oh yeah, you're right, I want it)
Everyday moments pass and they soak in every one. But should they be doing more? Doubt plagues them, it’s a shadow in every conversation and every look between them. “Has it been enough? Have I been enough? What’s going to happen next? Should I say something before it’s too late?”
So cut the headlights
Summer's a knife
I'm always waiting for you
Just to cut to the bone
Devils roll the dice
Angels roll their eyes
And if I bleed
You'll be the last to know
The remaining moments pass between them, most of them great and some of them sober. Neither wants to bring up the impending change out of fear of conflict, of hurt feelings, and of sadness. There’s not much to be said without being too vulnerable. Saying “I love you, please remember that” feels too heavy. Saying “I’m sorry” feels too small. Saying “I’m hurting” feels too obvious.
I'm drunk in the back of the car
And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar (oh)
Said "I'm fine", but it wasn't true
I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you
But it’s overwhelming and they succumb to all of their complicated emotions. There is crying, there is patience, there is discussion and agreement, but if you were to ask either of them if they were happy, they wouldn’t be able to say “yes.”
And I, snuck in through the garden gate
Every night that summer just to seal my fate (oh)
And I screamed for whatever it's worth
I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?
[S]he looks up, grinning like a devil
“I support you and I trust you, but please, for my sake, don’t break my heart. I love you, I love you, I love you.”
It's new
The shape of your body, it's blue
The feeling I've got
And it's ooh, whoa oh
It's a cruel summer
It's cool
That's what I tell 'em, no rules
In breakable heaven but
Ooh, whoa oh
It's a cruel summer
With you
I'm drunk in the back of the car
And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar (oh)
Said "I'm fine", but it wasn't true
I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you
And I, snuck in through the garden gate
Every night that summer just to seal my fate (oh)
And I screamed for whatever it's worth
I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?
A last night together before radio silence. It’s thick with longing but understanding. They agree on where they are: dating but not exclusively. It’s a change (or a chance) to survive and it’s so hard. And now all that’s left to do is wait.