I'm Not Trendy.

Our creative community consists of multiple guest writers and v/bloggers who volunteer all of the reasons why they are the nerdy, less common denominator featured on ImNotTrendy.com Here, witty and sometimes embarassing stories, book reviews, videos, pinterest attempts, and more create a webpage where I could finally showcase what a nerd I am, and come to terms with never looking like Jennifer Aniston. We're here to share what it's like to be a prick, a nerd, a housewife, a student, and more. Come be inspired!

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Not once when I was a kid did I ever add “knitted fruit” to my Christmas list and I’m pretty sure there are zero children out there who are desperately hoping Santa puts this under the tree. And for real - $34.95 for this? 

My daughter has the right idea when she says she thought it would be great for her dog. Maybe I’m just weird and don’t see the excitement in this, however if my mother in law can keep herself in e-cigs by knitting stupid crap like this for people with no better way to spend their money, then more power to her.

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I am aware that there are new guidelines that clothing manufacturers are required to follow as far as what tags to put on their clothing, due to where the clothing is distributed and what languages are spoken in those countries. However I find it incredibly irritating to find seven, count them, SEVEN tags inside my sports bra. Come on, Nike! This is ridiculous!

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Tomorrow we will carve out a very small window of time to break bread with, and simultaneously try very hard to at least show gratitude to the people who have brought us into the world, if they’ve done little else for us since then. In preparing ourselves for the carnage that is sure to come with...

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Working with Focus Fox Burlesque this evening at Gershwin's in Norfolk for an article in the local publication, AltDaily.com. These women are amazing and sexy and so confident. :)

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Road trip to Maryland to check out a potential plan. Love the area. Witch shoes included. It's boot season, who am I kidding?

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If my mother-in-law had money…

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Haha if my grandmother (shit my grandma says, see past posts) actually did have money - she'd look exactly like this.

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Another one for the WTF category…

Over the summer, American Express invited me to join “Vente Privee”, A private sale event that, in their words, “delivers quality American and European brands at up to 70% off retail through beautiful online sales events every day” Always interested in a bargain, I signed up and browsed their selection in the daily emails I was sent. Most of it was overpriced European clothing, stuff that even “on sale” was too rich for my pocketbook. It was fun to look at and I kept browsing, hoping for something that would appeal to me and be a bargain. I never did find anything, and I finally drew the line and unsubscribed the day I received the notice that Levi’s was one of the brands having a “beautiful online sale event”. I eagerly surfed on over to take a look.

Well. Apparently my idea of Levi’s and their ideas of Levi’s are quite different. In the photos above, I submit the pair of guys’ “Vintage” 1886s Nevada Jeans in Bodie, that were awesomely price-slashed from $494 to $155. My first thought was that these must be REAL vintage jeans from 1886, thus the price. Research led me to the Levi’s Facebook page, which notified me that “These special jeans are an exact replica of one of the most famous pairs of jeans in the extensive Levi’s archive.” So they are NOT truly vintage. They are just replicas of some really old jeans someone found in a barn in an old mining town. Uhh… okay.

Notice that in addition to being highwater, Hillbilly hick-ish, complete with that already-rolled-in-mud-puddles look, Levi’s proudly informs us that these jeans have a “distressed effect, with unfinished hems”. Gee, and I thought they were just shredded to shit.

Am I missing something that only fashion insiders understand on this one? Because I can easily go to the Goodwill down the road, buy a pair of guys’ Levi’s jeans, hack off the hems with a razor blade, throw them in a mud puddle at the end of my driveway and run them over about 15 times with my car and get the same effect. For about $7.99 and twenty minutes of my time. I thought the Derelicte Campaign from the movie Zoolander was a joke, but apparently, someone at Levi’s decided it was a seriously good idea. 

Please, Men - if you have $155 to blow on this crap, let me know.I’ll sell you an identical pair for $77.99. That’s a 50% off, super-clearance deal! You’ll be fashionably in style for that next New York City event that calls for Homeless People jeans, and I’ll be $70 richer.

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Amazon.com, is it really feasible to send my small bottle of shower gel in such a huge box? Quite mystifying when you do this. 

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I got up at 8:15 when the 3 year old came in to announce it was time to get up - even though I was allotted another 15 minutes of rest, because it’s Saturday and Saturday wake up time is 8:30 - sleeping IN, OMG. I played with her a little, made bacon and eggs for breakfast, let out and in and fed the dog, got the kid dressed and primped for the day, showered and primped myself and am headed in to paint at work… all by 10:20. 

My DH (and by that I do NOT mean “Dear Husband”) got up at 9:20, showered, dressed, ran some gel through his hair and ran out the door. But THANK GOD, he “made the bed” for me before he ran out.

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Everyday my coworkers come up with a new quote to battle the people who trickle them into the bottom of emails. Sarcasm is in abundance here.

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On the left, Bumble and Bumble Defrizz - paid $28 at local salon On the right, TRESemme Keratin Smooth - paid $4.79 at Walgreens This morning as I got ready, I wondered how close the main ingredients might be. Yeah, maybe you guessed - they're the exact same. I've been hosed. So if you're looking for salon quality products, pull up the ingredients online and check em against your favorite drugstore brands. This is one of many cases I've found.

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I planned and hosted my first community event. Here's how it went.

I had the great privilege of hosting my first event for the public, supporting local, and celebrating life. This weekend, with the help of my husband, we threw together a listening-room style concert featuring Logan Vath, Chuck 'Coyote' Larson, and Big Virginia Sky.

A lot of planning went into what time the doors should open, what tickets should cost, how we would publicize the event and distribute the information, who should pay for flyers and where they should be posted, where we should host the event, and who we should tap to provide food and drink. In the end, we chose all local vendors and local musicians in support of the community. 

I was responsible for social media and promotion, so I created an event and promoted larger posts about the details of the event at around $5 a piece. After I reached 7600 impressions, I watched for the conversion rate from impressions to engagements to increase and then used that information to build quality posts as I could see which were more attractive to users. After that, I wrote a press release and emailed it to six contacts in the local media. Splash Magazine contacted me the night of the show and made an appearance, for which I am grateful. I was also tapped by AltDaily.com to write a few articles about the event and the area. 

We partnered with The Venue on 35th street at an undisclosed agreement for a split in ticket sales. We tapped a non-profit to offer a liquor license and promised that any proceeds from the wine we sold would be paid to them. In exchange for their hospitality, we volunteered to break down the event and then clean up after the guests. 

I hosted the event, which meant a scary amount of me speaking over a microphone to a seemingly dark room. I don't mind talking to people, but not being able to see anything made me very nervous. 

All of the bands went on flawlessly and blew the crowd away. I can't tell you how many people I had come up and say what a great time they had and how great the lineup was. In the end, after all of the promoting, we had a very full crowd and we managed to make enough from the door to pay the musicians and the house, making the event a success. 

We're already planning for next month, and I hope that this turns into a community treasure. But even if it doesn't, I'll be excited that the opportunity was there and I took it. Cheers to supporting local, and seizing what's in front of you. I'm glad I did.

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I love my coworkers.

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Happy Halloween from the sixties.

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Southbound! Road sodas, bluegrass, and blue chips. Heading to film for BVS' Kickstarter vid!

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An actual train of thought this morning as I was eating breakfast.

This cheese tastes like mold. Is it supposed to taste like mold? Am I not classy enough for said cheese? When did it expire? Today? It has mold on it though. Is it supposed to have mold? I don't like it. But it's brie. I like brie. Do we eat it? It was expensive. It tastes like shit. I think it's supposed to taste that way.