has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive
times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks
trying on a metaphor
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has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive
times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks
ughhh screams really loudly and bashes my head against a wall a few times and rips out my Lungs and. explodes
"if yr stabbed dont take the knife out" okay so thats basiclaly cockwarming
i can never leave this place
Characters will make a very nuanced choice that makes sense for their story arc and internal conflict, and audience members will be like "is anyone else going to misconstrue this in the most black and white, bad faith manner possible?"
the number one rule of a tumblr sexyperson is that they should so deeply and profoundly unfuckable that they provoke the part of the human spirit that yearns to defy god’s will by fucking them anyway. if they’re just regular attractive that’s a sexy person, not a sexyperson
they don't really use pet names when they're around other people but their teammates learn very quickly that there is ilya (positive) and ilya (negative) and rozanov (fuck yeah that was fucking gorgeous) and rozanov (if you do not shut the fuck up immediately i swear to fucking god) and shane (adoring) and shane (sad) and hollander (that's how you fucking do it!) and hollander (sit your fucking ass down or we will have a problem) and these distinctions are way more important to keep track of than the five times a month hollander calls cap "baby" and cap's face goes all sappy
"Happy Birthday, Shane Hollander!", Shane Hollander & Ilya Rozanov [Hudson Williams & Connor Storrie] from Heated Rivalry
May, 2026
A hastily edited and put together image for Shane's birthday! I can't image Shane is too happy about being put on show, even if the audience is only Ilya and Anya (and maybe his parents), but I feel like Ilya definitely enjoyed himself!
Please do not repost my work to other sites
They move in together full time and Ilya notices that Anya acts differently with Shane than she does with him, more quiet and less playful, and he worries that means she doesn’t like Shane or is jealous, so he hires a dog trainer to come over and see if there’s anything they need to do to help
After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly
And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?
Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose
Shane comes home to Ilya with his face in his hands going oh god I’m not Anya’s dad I’m her brother and she thinks we’re both your pets. And Shane just goes. What.
shane and ilya are genuinely best friends and they act like it. so on their honeymoon, they’re at the beach playing some beach tennis and then betting who could reach the ocean first, and they competing who’s the fastest swimmer, and playing around, and throwing each other in the water, and chasing each other, having an absolute blast. then going back to their recliners to chill and drink some water and a group of girls comes up to them “we’re watching you guys from afar. you guys are so athletic, do you work out a lot?” and shane replies “we professional athletes so we need to keep up our form” and the group let out a oooh “are you both single?” one of them asks and ilya chuckle “no, we aren’t single. it’s our honeymoon actually” and the girls were like “oh my god, of course a beautiful pair is together” “we’re not going to disrupt you guys anymore” as they’re walking away one of them says “there’s not straight hot guys anymore” and ilya and shane look at each other and lose it. but now they’re acting like an annoying couple at the beach so there’s no doubt about the nature of their relationship
Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with
pov shane and ilya decide to be boyfriends at the cottage, but then shane is such a bad texter and caller afterwards that ilya thinks he changed his mind. because ilya is texting asking how his day went <3 and shane’s just like fine. had practice.
ilya is calling him just to hear his voice and shane is like ??? why are you calling me?? is everything okay? are you sad about your brother again?
ilya is sending nudes and shane is immediately deleting them and not acknowledging them because he’s scared of his phone getting hacked
finally when ilya comes to visit for the first time he’s like my shane ?? do you want to break up? and shane’s like no!!! never!!! tears are in his eyes. ‘why would i want to break up?!!!’ and ilya’s like well you never return my bids for attention….
shane feels awful and starts to learn the social norms around Boyfriending <3
Ilya never gets dementia. He worries about it, with his genetic predisposition and his frequent head injuries. But he never gets it.
His brother does.
His brother calls him, forgetting that Ilya went no-contact with him. Ilya's silent on the phone, listening to Alexei's wife softly explain it to him and take the phone.
He texts Ilya, asking when where he is. Asking who he's playing next game.
Ilya's been retired for over 20 years.
He knows Shane wants to say something, but he never does. He's just quietly supportive.
One day, it's Alexei's wife that calls him. She apologizes for calling. She tells him Alexei doesn't remember her anymore. Or their daughter. He only asks about Ilya and their parents. She offers to delete Ilya's number from his phone.
Ilya declines.
After that, he starts answering the phone. And talking.
Alexei asks where he is. Ilya tells him he's coming home soon. That seems to make Alexei happy.
Alexei asks who Ilya is playing. Ilya says Montreal. Alexei tells him to win or papa will be angry.
Alexei tells him mama made him soup. Ilya tells him that was his daughter. Alexei laughs, he doesn't have a daughter.
He doesn't remember how cruel he was to Ilya. He doesn't remember how much he loved drugs and drinking.
He was so much like Ilya's Alexei, before he started taking after their father. Before he let his anger at their mother consume him. Before he caught Ilya and Sasha and allowed his fear for his little brother to turn into anger and disgust.
One day Ilya offers his wife, Natalia, to have them visit. Their daughter has visited more than once, even stayed with them for a summer after high school. His and Shane's kids tried to teach her hockey.
Natalia regretfully tells him Alexei is not well enough to travel.
Ilya can't travel to them, not while he's married to Shane.
But their phone calls are enough.
About once a week, he gets to speak to a version of his brother than he had dearly missed. He gets to talk about his mama like she's still live, not dead for over 50 years. He gets to talk about the rink he and Alexei used to play hockey at. To talk about the stray cat he and Alexei once hid in their bedroom for a week.
He finds himself looking forward to the phone calls.
And dearly missing when they end.
shane hears ilya’s voice coming from the bedroom and he’s confused about who ilya is talking to, thinks maybe he’s on the phone to someone. but then he walks in to ilya standing over the open drawer in shane’s bedside table voice directed at his dildo and shane is standing there confused and a little horrified because he hasn’t showed ilya his dildo yet and shane is like what is going in why are you talking to my dildo and ilya says i was looking for the spare charger but then found this and i wanted to introduce myself to mr dildo. and shane is like first of all don’t call it mr dildo actually don’t give it a name at all, second of all…why? and ilya says well i needed to see my competition and also mr dildo was the first to be inside you and i think i should thank him for making you feel so good that you wanted to try the real thing, and shane blinks five times and then leaves the bedroom without saying anything
I keep thinking this! very frustrating
alternate metros jersey shane 🙂↕️