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AO3 | It Blog: yallreddieforthis

[whiterosecottage]

URL Change

mischiefxmanager > whiterosecottage

AO3 also changed to WhiteRoseCottage

[hopeless-eccentric]

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

[andhumanslovedstories]

Jack off all trades. Is that anything? Like something we could say for in support of workers and other such reasons? Jack off all trades, masturbate none. For your consideration.

[kibumkim]

The patriarchy won lmao

[disgracedmilfman]

Evergreen

[catchymemes]

[dogpuppy]

[quietwingsinthesky]

like the betrayal’s always going to be worse if they cared about you and it didn’t matter. someone discards you because they didn’t give a shit, then you can be angry about that, you can feel vindicated in that, you can get over it. but if they can look you in the eyes and say “I love you. I would make the same choice again.” You will never sleep peacefully again, is all.

[quietwingsinthesky]

“I thought they cared about me, but they were lying this whole time.” <- tired. boring. removes all the nuance of this relationship to make it easier to move on from.

“I thought they cared about me, and I was right, and every minute they were there for me, every time they said they were proud, every laugh we shared leaning against each other bruised and breathless, all of it was real. and they still left me behind. They could put their love aside. I couldn’t.” <- insane. will never leave you alone. reminds you that even the worst people are still people and can still care about even the ones they hurt the most and that undoes neither the harm nor the love.

[quietwingsinthesky]

okay. something about the way i worded this is making people think this is a vent thing about real relationships. and it’s fine if that’s where it took you. but i feel like i need to be transparent here: this be blorboposting. karlach cliffgate and her terrible awful no good very bad betrayal.

[penandinkprincess]

EXTREMELY funny possibility in which shane was so high in the hospital that he doesn't actually. REMEMBER asking ilya to come to the cottage. and he wants to! and he will! but he's waiting for the season to be over because then ilya will be able to think about it without having hockey stuff on the brain and maybe he'll feel a little more relaxed. and shane has hinted at it (asking if ilya has plans/if ilya has seen much of canada/if ilya likes lakes), but he's still working up to it.

and then ilya calls, has the "i'm coming to the cottage"

and shane is ??? "what cottage?"

*audible eyeroll* "scott hunter's cottage to third this new boyfriend he apparently has. YOUR cottage, hollander."

"you want to come to my cottage?" *over the moon because oh MAN even better!! ilya wants to see him so much he's ASKING!! what a score!!*

"?? you have taken another hit to the head or what? yes, hollander, can i come to your cottage this summer?"

"yeah. that would be great. oh man, we're going to have so much fun." *literally vibrating in place with joy*

and it is great! but they are also both operating under the idea that the OTHER person was the one bold enough to make this happen, which does make them very lovey dovey even faster than canon because they're both going "YOU were the one bold enough to make this happen," but they're being smushy and gross and cuddly one night after sex, and ilya just *soft smile and brushing a thumb over shane's cheek* "i'm glad you asked me to come"

and shane is still soft and warm and cozy but ?? "what?"

"i'm glad you asked me to come to your cottage."

"??? um?? no i didn't?"

*minor heart attack but also maybe?? this is a joke??* "yes, you did? in the hospital, you asked me to come."

*realizing that apparently high!shane is bold as fuck and also oopsies* "...sooooooooo about the hospital-"

[grabmyboner]

the best part about living w a partner w cock is I can just go look at cock in real life whenever I can touch it and maybe give it a lil kiss whenever I want maybe I’ll hold him softly he has been hanging around all day alone he needs warmth and comfort from a loved one (he as in the cock not my partner)

[hollzy-baby]

[mr-leach]

My own son??? Happy to see ME??? For real?!?

[baddywronglegs]

Do you think Michael Crichton had a deep-seated hatred of theme parks because he was too tall for all the rides?

[wanderer-chronicles]

Yes.

[tumblr] is a flat circle.

[baddywronglegs]

Damn, it sure is huh

[zetabrarian]

We should do this more on this website.

Person 1: -posts-

Person 2: -pulls out the historical documents-

[baddywronglegs]

I have been brought before the scriptures and my heresies found canonical.

I accept the judgement "unoriginal" and "should have looked it up first" but, in my inadequate defence, Tumblr's search function does fucking suck.

[zeemczed]

Defense found perfectly cromulent. Let Baddywronglegs free, and let no mark be against said blog.

[fozmeadows]

"I have been brought before the scriptures and my heresies found canonical" is an all-time banger line.

[prokopetz]

The whole "Elvis sighting" thing is hilarious because, like, the first documented career Elvis impersonators began working over twenty years before the guy even died. I wonder why a public figure who has a whole industry of people who look and sound like him would generate an unusual number of posthumous sightings? It Is A Mystery.

[yuqis-ifty]

It's very important to me that Shane finds Ilya extremely adorable. Like yes, that is the hottest man he's ever seen, but like, that's also the man who puff out his cheeks, frown and sigh dramaticly at the minorest of inconveniences, that man, atleast to Shane, is so so cute Shane sometimes has to clench his fists to let the cuteness aggression subside because it's either this or he's squeezing Ilya's face until he looks like a puffer fish and kissing him all over.

[fleabagsversion]

Is this anything?

[existennialmemes]

Not to sound like a decrepit, rambling corpse about it, but back in my day Word used to be a pre installed program that came with your computer, if you were running Windows.

No subscription. Just program.

On your computer. You got to use it forever and ever and never had to worry about it going away.

Because it was physically on your computer. As a program. That you actually owned. Not because you got it separately, but because it was a standard inclusion with your computer.

I'm sorry but I'll just never get over it. I remember when companies cared about their products being usable out of the box. I remember when our things belonged to us.

Old man shaking fist at cloud, wherein the cloud is the background of the Windows 98 logo.

[thecryptkeeper]

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

[library-seraph]

The first attested cat in Japan was given to a young 9th century emperor and his diary about it includes such gems as 'I affixed a bow about its neck, but it did not remain for long.", "The color of the fur is peerless. None could find the words to describe it, although one said it was reminiscent of the deepest ink.", "When it lies down, it curls in a circle like a coin. You cannot see its feet. It’s as if it were circular Bi disk." and "I am convinced it is superior to all other cats.” Basically posting about how his void is the best little void and so good at getting really round

[koiagain]

im going to fix my entire life

[fruitcakebro]

When?

[koiagain]

Like Um. later

[chiropteracupola]

It's Another Beautiful Day of Not Being On Mount Everest. just how Every day of my life will be Another Beautiful Day of Not Being On Mount Everest, on account of how I am Never Ever Going There.