My life...

I'm mom. Wife. Dog mom. Friend. Daughter. Sister. Bartender. Crazy. Sleepless. Loved. Anxious.

[promptly-mercy]

I haven't seen anybody do this so:

You're welcome 👐

[witchrealms]

(x)

[witchrealms]

(x)

[ironicallydumb]

[slipping-into-madness]

[undeadentropy]

Don't even worry about all that

[montanabohemian]

#well why did he even buy a scrying mirror if he didn’t expect his familiar to scry

[niceinchnails]

Two of my fav phineas and ferb posts

[trashcangimmick]

[maykitz]

sure, i'll drink the pink swirly potion that released a little heart shaped cloud when you uncorked it. what's the worst that could happen

[unpretty]

pro tip “he freed his erection” is the most useful phrase in any smut writer’s arsenal because it means never having to figure out a dude’s pants situation. how did he do it? were there zippers? buttons? some kind of bizarre lacing situation? maybe he cut off his pants with scissors. maybe it was a wizard. maybe it busted out like the hulk busts out of his shirts. no one knows. no one cares. his dick is out now and that is all that matters. thank you helpful dick wizard.

[unpretty]

happy ten year anniversary to the dick wizard

[whywishesarehorses]

happy birthday to all the tbs in the southern hemisphere!

[randomencounters]

Special Event: All Horses’ Birthday (Southern Hemisphere only)

[randomencounters]

Special Event: All Horses’ Birthday (Northern Hemisphere only)

[lovelydrusilla]

[beardedmrbean]

just some lads, being fellows

[memeclassheroes]

[charlesoberonn]

Yes I am, those fuckers were literally bird-brained.

[chippyyyz]

[hueypshootin]

Lol I think about this daily …some shit could hit any second.

[schmaniel]

[sweaterkittensahoy]

The naming of the Thagomizer is one of my favorite science things ever. Scientists were like, “Eh, it’s a tail.” And a dude went, “What if I make a joke to name it,” and scientists went, “Oh, cool! Yeah!”

[kosmogrl]

[kragehund-est]

[kragehund-est]

everytime someone rbs this i get a notification as though it were my post, even the rbs that don’t have my addition. go away onion post i am not your mother

[recoiloperated]

Abandoned by its biological mother, the onion post instead imprints on a random passerby that fed it.

[sanitymakesposts]

“Fuck you and the horse you rode in on” Okay it’s fine to hate me or whatever but you do understand the horse is not a part of this right. Like he’s only here because I got on his back and steered him here. I treat him exceptionally well but if he saw anything slightly strange he would run into the woods and forget about me forever. Take it back.

[piedude]

[chromaticabrasions]

imagine ur mortal enemies with a vampire and they just fucking. take a nap until you die. 100 years later they wake up like “i win” how embarrassing,,,

[parkguinevere]

The best revenge is living well........

[chromaticabrasions]

i think the best revenge in this case would be killing ur vampire enemy

[parkguinevere]

Ok but imagine ur an immortal vampire and your worst enemy is a world renoun author who's been dead for 500 years but people still quote him. Like imagine if ur mortal enemy was william shakespeare or dante aligheri. Like you cant even kill them by any means. Everybody loves them but you remember them and you hate them but everyone disagrees with you

[chromaticabrasions]

oh god,,,, that’d be my worst nightmareeee. yeah ur right the best revenge is getting so famous that u become immortal and then ur vampire enemy can never escape u

[imsayak]

People aren't homes, they never will be. People are rivers, always changing, forever flowing. They will disappear with everything you put inside them.

~ Nikita Gill