bad jokes and mormon bike rides!

my name is emily and i think i am a lot funnier than i actually am.

[glandot]

My lonely ass, committing human transmutation for the 4th time this week: ayy whats up buddy, chum, pal, amigo, homeslice, brotha from a different motha, dawg, fella

Truth, about to take my other arm away, visibly shaking: PLEASE stop coming back

[unshrink]

me comforting a friend:

[chickenfarmersan]

[love-personal]

[avant-gardevoir-old-deactivated]

introducing the new sport

basketball 2

[hyperchaotix]

What is the objective?

[nibrocrock]

Survive.

[mitchmrner]

the rampage continues

[slavery]

GINGER ALE BE HITTING ALWAYS I COULD BE DYING OF EVERY POSSIBLE DISEASE AND BE BLEEDING OUT ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND TAKE A SIP OF Canada Dry AND BE LIKE ….. DAMN THAT HITS 

[sophisticantsophia-deactivated2]

The fact that Canada Dry is NOT in caps like the rest of this ENTIRE post has me in tearssss

[badkidsjokes]

what does NASA stand for.

not another spaceship aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[ryvko]

[petbud]

i have small hands

[youaremyeverlovin]

bring them closer to u, they r just far a way

[petbud]

wow you were right…

[bullysquadess]

a dear friend once told me “all lesbians have to share one brain cell, and it goes to the person who needs it the most”. she then promptly stuck a metal bowl in the microwave and busted her knee open on the kitchen tile when the resulting explosion startled her so im gonna go ahead and guess she wasn’t the chosen lesbian at that particular moment

[bullysquadess]

[deluminator]

my brother just walked in here with a bunch of pancakes and was like ‘wow this is a whole lot of pancakes’ and then he closed his eyes and whispered to himself ‘but i am a whole lot of man’

[patatesoyankedi-deactivated2026]

[1dietcokeinacan]

The New Trend……..

[yourbigsisnissi]

Couture

[guildenstern]

[c-bassmeow]

[slickkjames]

[dankmemeuniversity]