yeah idk

elmo/moomi/kara ||| fluid af || they/them/she/her/whatever happens

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[jewfrogs]

falling asleep during the day: slipping away on a clouds so easy

falling asleep at night: I heard an ant gasp downstairs

[girlnextvore]

When you see a Prep in hottopic

[girlnextvore]

“This Prep is ready for war bring it you emo fuck”

[girlnextvore]

why are people reblogging this again

this post is like 11 years old

WHY AREYALL DOING THIS

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

We’re all having a midlife crisis leave us be

[girlnextvore]

hey

fuck you LOL

[angel-derangement]

“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?

[angel-derangement]

please hurry up in reblogging this I wanna jorts it before someone puts it in one of those heartwarming tiktok slideshows

[ablubluh]

i was like 'what could jorts it possibly mean' but as with many things clicking the original post immediately clarified the situation

[ozempicofficial]

[cupcraft]

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

[aropride]

do u like mine

[cupcraft]

Oh wow.

[cupcraft]

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

[swishersposts]

artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.

[zsnes]

its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post

[targuzzler-deactivated20180224]

pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs

[littlegermanboy]

guys i just got the best anon ever idk if i can post this i want to keep it framed in my inbox forever.

[littlegermanboy]

i can’t choose a favorite part of this it’s all so good.

[memeuplift]

[mrbrojangles]

[thehumantrampoline]

I kept forgetting my nighttime antidepressant so I set an alarm where the sound was a recording of me saying "HEY. TAKE YOUR FUCKING PILL" because I thought it would be funny. It was funny about three times, and then it started making me mad and I'd dismiss it right away to make it stop. So I handed my phone to my partner, who made another recording sweetly saying "Okay Shira, it's time to take your medication" and now I don't get mad anymore and I take my pill. The "compassion over punishment" camp has gotta get something wrong one of these days

[venusswasaboy]

I quote this and laugh to myself very, very often.

[louclaudia]

JACOB ANDERSON for The Vampire Lestat Backstage Pass, Episode 1: "Detroit"

[pissvortex]

Mobster, pointing a gun at my head: Any last words kid

Me: I actually like to use women's deodorant because the stuff for men dries out my skin and smells like harsh chemicals

*BANG*

(3 hours later, at Walmart)

(Mobster holding Dove Advance Care in the deodorant aisle)

Hmm...

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

you make one fucking post where the point is “women are encouraged to develop disordered eating from a very young age and that impacts how we view the ‘natural’ size and shape of women” and too many reblogs later i am being accused of saying short people wouldn’t exist if they ate better growing up. i’m sorry but if you genuinely think i was saying that you are just a buffoon. i cannot and will not sanction your buffoonery.

[stydiaislove]

[thecryptkeeper]

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”