Wei Wuxian: What is it?
Lan Wangji: Your shirt.
Wei Wuxian, looking down at his shirt: What’s wrong with it?
Lan Wangji: It’s still on you.
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@incorrect-mdzs
Wei Wuxian: What is it?
Lan Wangji: Your shirt.
Wei Wuxian, looking down at his shirt: What’s wrong with it?
Lan Wangji: It’s still on you.
Jiang Cheng: Can you please stop calling peanut butter that?
Wei Wuxian: What's wrong with "sticky nut juice"?
Jiang Cheng: Everything. Every-fucking-thing.
Wei Wuxian: *sighs dramatically*
Lan Wangji: What’s wrong?
Wei Wuxian: You haven’t looked at me for ten minutes.
Lan Wangji: ... We’re watching a movie.
Wei Wuxian: Did I ask for an excuse?
Nie Mingjue: Can someone please take care of Lan Xichen? He is not handling his alcohol very well.
Jin Guangyao: Oh, come on! He’s not that bad!
Lan Xichen: *looking at a mirror* Are you a 45 degree angle? Because you’re acute-y!!!
Jin Guangyao: I take back what I said.
Wen Ning: ... Hey, is it cool if I have a panic attack in your bathroom?
*CRASH*
Jiang Cheng: What was that?
Wen Ning, from the other room: My shirt fell--
Jiang Cheng: It sounded louder than that.
Wen Ning: I was still in it...
Lan Sizhui: You were hurt. Do you remember anything?
Jin Ling: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.
Lan Sizhui: That wasn’t an ambulance, I called a car.
Jin Ling: But I heard a siren?
Lan Sizhui: That was Jingyi.
Lan Jingyi: I got nervous.
Jin Guangyao: Can you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?
Nie Mingjue: *crouches down*
Xue Yang: *gets on knees*
Jin Guangyao:
Jin Guangyao: I hope you both die
Wei Wuxian: I'll go for a walk somewhere I'm appreciated!
Jiang Cheng: That'll be a long walk.
Jiang Cheng: I would ask what you’re up to Wei Wuxian, but then it occurred to me-
Jiang Cheng: I don’t care.
Nie Huaisang: What do I want? Snuggles. What do I receive? Struggles.
Wei Wuxian: I’m so thirsty right now.
Lan Wangji: For water, or for dick? Because I have both.
Wei Wuxian: Pee.
Jiang Cheng: So, what are your goals?
Wei Wuxian: I’ve been banned from every major city’s public transportation system except Melbourne, Australia. I don’t know what their limit is but I will fucking find it.
Wei Wuxian: Solid skills and good manners to boot. How about becoming my foster son, A-Yuan?
Lan Sizhui: ... I think you should try fixing things with your real family first.
Interviewer: what’s the worst part about being a dad?
Jin Guangshan: the kids.
Wei Wuxian: What's that notebook for?
Lan Wangji: Oh, it's my to-do list.
Wei Wuxian: ... It only has my name written in it, though...
Nie Huaisang: Boy, blowjobs sure are a mouthful.
Jin Zixuan: Jeez, that pun was hard for me to swallow.
Wei Wuxian: Penis.
Jin Zixuan: Thanks for your contribution.