Incorrect Three's Company Quotes

Who's to say these things weren't said when we weren't watching tbh. ~Submissions welcome! Posts are on a queue.~

[incorrect-threes-company]

Janet: I'd date you.

Jack: What?

Janet: I SAID I HATE YOU.

[incorrect-threes-company]

Larry: I would walk through fire for this family.

Larry: Well not FIRE because it's dangerous. But a super humid room.

Larry: But not too humid, because my hair.

[incorrect-threes-company]

Jack and Janet: Hey, what are you doing later?

Terri: Having my night ruined by whatever you're about to ask me to do.

[incorrect-threes-company]

Larry: Who would win in a battle between Jack and Terri?

Janet: I can't answer that, Jack is my husband!

Larry: So, Terri?

Janet: Yeah.

[incorrect-threes-company]

Janet: Can you go to the store and get a carton of milk? If they have avocados, get six.

Chrissy, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avocados!

[twistintheplot]

Three’s Company + Reductress Headlines, Part 2

[incorrect-threes-company]

Janet: I can't seem to do anything right now!

Jack: I never thought I'd have to say this, but there is only space in this apartment for one unstable roommate and I have held that title for a very long time, so you are going to have to GET IT TOGETHER.

[incorrect-threes-company]

Terri: Janet, have you seen Jack?

Janet: I'm not seeing Jack!

Terri: What?

Janet: What?

[incorrect-threes-company]

Janet: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate. Like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Jack: This is a lie.

Jack: I'm literally dating her. This is a lie.

Jack: SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE. WHAT IS THIS.

[incorrect-threes-company]

Janet: What's the worst decision you've made while drunk?

Jack: Not to brag or anything, but I don't need to be drunk to make bad decisions.

[incorrect-threes-company]

Janet: While I'm gone, Jack, you're in charge.

Jack: Yes!

Janet, whispering: Terri, you're secretly in charge.

Terri: Duh.

[incorrect-threes-company]

Terri, on the phone with Janet: Jack and Cindy built a flamethrower.

Janet: Oh my god.

Terri: Yeah, you should probably get over here.

[incorrect-threes-company]

Larry: I've got this weird feeling inside.

Jack: That must be your conscience.

Larry: Aw, man. I thought I finally got rid of that thing.

[incorrect-threes-company]

Jack: I know that we're best friends but I would totally kiss you if you asked.

Janet: What?

Jack: What?

Terri, in the background eating popcorn: He said he would totally kiss you if you asked.

[incorrect-threes-company]

Mrs. Roper (hands breadsticks to Jack): These are old!

Mr. Roper: You are what you eat!

Mrs. Roper: Jack, give Stanley his order of Miserable Bastard.

Source: Everybody Loves Raymond

[incorrect-threes-company]

Janet: Mr. Furley! Have you no dignity?

Mr. Furley: Of course not! How long have you known me?

[incorrect-threes-company]

Janet: Do you take constructive criticism?

Larry: I only take cash or credit.