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tHeSe WeRe DeFiNiTeLy SaId At SoMe PoInT | Main Blog: @inevitablemoment | M*mmett DNI

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Biff: Up yours!

Tiffany: Dad, PLEASE. You’re making this so much harder to bullshit.

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(Twin Pines timeline; At the grocery store)

Lorraine, handing coupons to a cashier: Half price, loyalty points, buy one get one free, two for one, and double discount!

Cashier: That comes to the store owing you fifty cents.

Biff Jr., behind Lorraine: Tiffy, why is that lady trying to pay for her groceries with scraps of newspaper?

Tiffany: (smugly) She probably didn't study hard at school, dear.

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Doc: This is a mistake.

Marty: A mistake we’re gonna laugh about one day.

Doc: But not today.

Marty: Oh no, today’s gonna be a mess.

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[Twin Pines timeline; after Biff makes a disparaging comment about George's kids]

George, thinking to himself: Don’t do it, George. Don’t retaliate. Even though his kids are bunch of charity-scamming write-offs, looking like they just came out of a two week Vegas coke binge, selling bad shoes to stupid people, children of the GMO corn.

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[Heather got in trouble with Doc for the jokes she's telling to the staff at the ITF. She's giving an example of one to Tiffany]

Heather: Knock, knock.

Tiffany: Who's there?

Heather: He's a [bleep] you [bleep], thing up [bleep], you in the [bleep] chair with the [bleep] and knees [bleep] is making it [bleep] out that son [bleep].

Tiffany: Good lord, Heather. You kiss Dave with that mouth?

Heather: My dad taught me that one.

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(At the offices of the Institute of Future Technology)

Marty, to Doc regarding Heather: You treat her like she's some troubled teenager. She's more like a meth-addicted homeless woman you let man the phones.

(As he's speaking, Heather slowly raises up her hand to flip him off)

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[Circa late 90s. Tiffany is pregnant with Griff and is nervous about giving birth]

Tiffany: Mrs. Brown, Mrs. McFly, can I ask you both a question?

Clara: Of course.

Tiffany: When you were pregnant, did you have any feelings of... I don’t know... overwhelming panic and a desire to flee?

Clara: That’s normal with some moms. If you’re this scared, a c-section might be good. When I was in labor with Jules, I was in labor for 36 hours. I finally bit off part of my tongue and passed out.

Tiffany: C-Section. Okay--

Lorraine: Well, when I had Marty, I had to have a c-section. The doctors struggled with fixing my body after they got him out.

Tiffany: S-- struggled with fixing your body?

Lorraine: Oh, yeah. They just tried shoving everything back inside me and--

Linda, just popping in: My daughter was a breech birth in the back of Craig's old Nissan. Some paramedic cut me from hole to hole.

Tiffany: (immediately walking out of there) Nope. Nope. Absolutely not.

Linda: That’s probably not the answer she was looking for.

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Doc: Clara and I are planning a vow renewal ceremony. This time, we're pulling out all the stops. It will be a truly extravagant affair.

Dave: How extravagant are we talking? Champagne pyramid?

George: Destination wedding?

Marty: Celebrity officiant?

Doc: We got the salad forks. Can you believe it, a second fork? Who do we think we are?!

[No one else is impressed]

Doc: Oh, no. You're shocked at how garish it is.

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Biff: Can I use your phone to call my wife?

George: Sure!

Biff: Great! Can I also use it to call my mistress too?

[beat of awkward silence]

George: Is…Is she nice?

Biff: She's okay.

George, awkwardly nodding: That's good.

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Tiffany: I still sleep with the blanket that I had as a baby.

Marty: Aww...

Tiffany: I use it as a gag when I take people's pets hostage.

Marty: ...

Marty: There’s no punchline ‘cause it’s not a joke isn’t it?

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Twin Pines!Dave: "Good enough" is the best compliment I've ever gotten.

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Biff: Tiffany Gertrude Tannen, you clean your room this instant!

Tiffany: I CAN BUY AND SELL YOU, OLD MAN!

Biff: ...

Biff: Fair enough.

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Doc: We will meet here tomorrow, as the sun casts its last shadow upon the earth and the crescent moon has risen above the eastern ridge.

Marty: So… like nine o'clock?

Doc: Yes, Marty, we'll meet up at nine.

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George: No, no, kids, it's all right. Really, I'm fine, I'm all right.

George: (under his breath) Dad always said "don't complain. Be good. Behave. Behave. Be nice. Smile. Be polite. Don't make waves."

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(Lorraine's birthday)

Lorraine: (opening a present) What is this?

Marty: It's an aromatherapy machine. See, you put in oils that are supposed to help you with the stress of the day.

Lorraine: Oh! Alright, well... let's see. So far, I have gotten a spa day, three massages, a meditation class, an ocean pillow, a rage bat, and a little machine that's supposed to trick my nose into calming me down. Why does everyone think I'm so tense?

George: You bit through your night guard.

Verne: (sitting on Lorraine's lap) You're squeezing me too hard.

Linda: And last week, you made the pharmacist cry.

Lorraine: That's because he wouldn't sell me any more Sudafed. The entire family was sick. I was not cooking meth. You know what? I don't even want cake. I really don't appreciate being criticized like this, especially on my birthday.

(They hear a motor buzzing from one of the unopened presents)

Clara: Um, that's my gift. Open later.

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Strickland: I HAVE HAD IT WITH THIS SCHOOL! The low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children!

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Opening gifts on Christmas morning:

The kids: :D

George: Do you like--?

Lorraine: HEY EVERYONE PUT YOUR WRAPPING PAPER IN THIS BAG. Hey, tell your, TELL YOUR SISTER TO PUT THE WRAPPING PAPER IN THIS BAG. CAN YOU GRAB THAT PIECE FOR ME. Here what IF I HAND YOU THE BAG. DON’T JUST THROW IT OVER THERE, I--