Incorrect Firefly Quotes

Things the crew didn't say, but definitley could have.

[incorrectfirefly]

Jayne - I'm just saying what I feel and people do not like what they're hearing. I am a strong cup of coffee.

[incorrectfirefly]

Kaylee - How to give a good handjob: Bop it. Pull it. Twist it.

Zoë - harder, better, faster, stronger.

Inara - You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in, and you shake it all about!

Mal - None of you ever touch a penis.

[incorrectfirefly]

Mal - Jayne, I need your help on an adventure. Eh, ‘need’ is a strong word. We need door stops, but a brick would work too.

[incorrectfirefly]

Jayne - Note to self: be rich one day.

[incorrectfirefly]

Mal, talking about alliance agent - There's got to be some way to break him!

Jayne - Wait a minute. I just had an idea.

Jayne, to alliance agent - 2, 3, 4!

[incorrectfirefly]

Jayne - Oh come on now Mal, it's not like the Alliance is monitoring everyone's conversations.

Mal - (whispering on Alliance worker's headset) I just think we should lay low until we get to Persephone.

Alliance Worker - Oh my god it's them! Hey everyone, we found them! The government actually found someone we're looking for! Yeah baby, yeah!

[incorrectfirefly]

Wash - Fun size candy bars aren't fun after you've had 37 of them.

[incorrectfirefly]

River - Balloons are like our souls. They want to go up, but can't, and when you pop them, they scream.

[incorrectfirefly]

Inara: I wonder what people like about me. Probably my jugs.

[incorrectfirefly]

Simon - I want to do something for her… but what?

Mal - Well, there’s the usual things: flowers, chocolates, promises you don’t intend to keep…

[incorrectfirefly]

Mal - I wasn't listening but I strongly disagree with Simon.

[incorrectfirefly]

Wash, looking at the navigation screen - We are 40 light years outside of the Buttermilk Nebula. Although, it is possible… yeah, it's a sticker.

[incorrectfirefly]

Kaylee - I'm sorry. Do you wanna talk about it?

Jayne - I just did. Oh, you mean more? God, no. Look, I don't understand why everybody wants to talk everything to death. Like, whatever happened to just taking a baseball bat to your neighbor's trash can?

[incorrectfirefly]

Shepherd Book - What is the point of going to church every Sunday, when if someone we love has a genuine religious experience, we ignore it? Right River?

River - I want bananas on my waffles!

[incorrectfirefly]

Simon - If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.

[incorrectfirefly]

Jayne - I really need to organize my thoughts.

Mal - Thoughts? Plural?

[incorrectfirefly]

Kaylee - (to Simon) I’ll be here with my kissing hole.