Incorrect CBS Ghosts

It's all in the title.

[incorrectghosts]

*talking about Alberta's murder*

Hetty: And I never lied!

Alberta: *glares*

Hetty: *quietly* I didn’t tell you everything.

[incorrectghosts]

Flower: I’m not condoning eating your kids, but I sure as heck know why giraffes do it. 

Sas: …What?

[incorrectghosts]

*Jay is holding a little white box*

Gabe: Ooh, watcha smoking?

Jay: These are raisins…

[incorrectghosts]

Alberta: You know I love how enthusiastic you are, but sometimes, it can get a little out of hand.

Pete: Name one time.

Alberta: You proposed to me on our third date.

[incorrectghosts]

Hetty: You're lucky you haven't any character, because if you did, I'm sure l'd hate you.

Trevor: You couldn't hate me. I'm too... lovable.

[incorrectghosts]

Sas: Our plans always fall apart. Always! It'd be impressive if it wasn't terrifying.

Pete: We've gotten good at improvising, though.

[incorrectghosts]

Hetty: What did she say?

Isaac: Just some snarky comment about me being gay.

Hetty: I will destroy her.

[incorrectghosts]

Alberta: So I’m not overreacting, am I?

Hetty: No, of course you’re not!

Alberta: Oh, okay, good. I was worried I was being a bit of a snob.

Hetty: Oh, darling, you’re not a snob. Look at you! You’re always doing charity work. You’re dating Peter, for a start.

Alberta: Hetty!

[incorrectghosts]

Sas: Something has to be done. I propose using mankind’s greatest weapon.

Thor: FIRE.

Sas: The written word.

Thor: Ugh, I’m out.

[incorrectghosts]

Alberta: Dress every day like you’re going to get murdered in those clothes.

[incorrectghosts]

Trevor: This is kind of against my principles.

Alberta: Your principles? Trevor, don't be an asshole. You don't have principles.

[incorrectghosts]

Flower: If we were all trees, there'd be no more wars.  Because we'd be trees.

[incorrectghosts]

Flower: Roses are red, violets are blue... sunflowers are yellow... tulips come in all kinds of colors... daffodils are also yellow...

Thor: Was that supposed to be poem?

Flower: No, I just like flowers.

[incorrectghosts]

Trevor: So a priest walks into a bar, and he says- what the hell is Elias doing here?

Hetty: I don't get it. Is Elias the bartender?

Trevor: No. Elias is your ex husband.

Hetty: *laughs awkwardly*

Hetty: *turns around, sees Elias sitting on the couch* Oh... now I get it.

Elias: Hello, Hetty.

[incorrectghosts]

Pete: Maybe you've finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.

Hetty: No, but that's funny.

[incorrectghosts]

Alberta: I'm sorry it didn't work out...

Thor: Well, you know what they say, if you can't kill two birds with one stone you can always just eat stone.

Alberta:…

Alberta: No one ever says that.

Thor: Yeah, 'cause they're too busy choking on stone.

[incorrectghosts]

Trevor: Whoops.

Sam: Whoops? Whoops? This is not a "Whoops" situation. We are far past whoops. Whoops is a distant speck in the rearview mirror. We are solidly in "Oh fuck" territory, and I expect you to act like it.