*talking about Alberta's murder*
Hetty: And I never lied!
Alberta: *glares*
Hetty: *quietly* I didn’t tell you everything.

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@incorrectghosts
*talking about Alberta's murder*
Hetty: And I never lied!
Alberta: *glares*
Hetty: *quietly* I didn’t tell you everything.
Flower: I’m not condoning eating your kids, but I sure as heck know why giraffes do it.Â
Sas: …What?
*Jay is holding a little white box*
Gabe: Ooh, watcha smoking?
Jay: These are raisins…
Alberta: You know I love how enthusiastic you are, but sometimes, it can get a little out of hand.
Pete: Name one time.
Alberta: You proposed to me on our third date.
Hetty: You're lucky you haven't any character, because if you did, I'm sure l'd hate you.
Trevor: You couldn't hate me. I'm too... lovable.
Sas: Our plans always fall apart. Always! It'd be impressive if it wasn't terrifying.
Pete: We've gotten good at improvising, though.
Hetty: What did she say?
Isaac: Just some snarky comment about me being gay.
Hetty: I will destroy her.
Alberta: So I’m not overreacting, am I?
Hetty: No, of course you’re not!
Alberta: Oh, okay, good. I was worried I was being a bit of a snob.
Hetty: Oh, darling, you’re not a snob. Look at you! You’re always doing charity work. You’re dating Peter, for a start.
Alberta: Hetty!
Sas: Something has to be done. I propose using mankind’s greatest weapon.
Thor: FIRE.
Sas: The written word.
Thor: Ugh, I’m out.
Alberta: Dress every day like you’re going to get murdered in those clothes.
Trevor: This is kind of against my principles.
Alberta: Your principles? Trevor, don't be an asshole. You don't have principles.
Flower: If we were all trees, there'd be no more wars. Â Because we'd be trees.
Flower: Roses are red, violets are blue... sunflowers are yellow... tulips come in all kinds of colors... daffodils are also yellow...
Thor: Was that supposed to be poem?
Flower: No, I just like flowers.
Trevor: So a priest walks into a bar, and he says- what the hell is Elias doing here?
Hetty: I don't get it. Is Elias the bartender?
Trevor: No. Elias is your ex husband.
Hetty: *laughs awkwardly*
Hetty: *turns around, sees Elias sitting on the couch* Oh... now I get it.
Elias: Hello, Hetty.
Pete: Maybe you've finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.
Hetty: No, but that's funny.
Alberta: I'm sorry it didn't work out...
Thor: Well, you know what they say, if you can't kill two birds with one stone you can always just eat stone.
Alberta:…
Alberta: No one ever says that.
Thor: Yeah, 'cause they're too busy choking on stone.
Trevor: Whoops.
Sam: Whoops? Whoops? This is not a "Whoops" situation. We are far past whoops. Whoops is a distant speck in the rearview mirror. We are solidly in "Oh fuck" territory, and I expect you to act like it.