Shepard: Strange light in my kitchen so either getting murdered or abducted. Will keep you updated.
Simon: What if it's Mothman?
Shepard: Then it's marriage.
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@incorrectsnowbaz
Shepard: Strange light in my kitchen so either getting murdered or abducted. Will keep you updated.
Simon: What if it's Mothman?
Shepard: Then it's marriage.
Simon and Baz taking pictures together:
Penny: You guys are making me wish Micah actually loved me.
Baz, absolutely deadpanned: Sorry.
Simon: Wow that was so unapologetic that even I feel offended.
Simon: I need a hot man to teach me magic.
Penny: As if you’d actually listen.
Simon: I'm telling you, he's plotting. Something evil. I know it.
*Meanwhile, in a coffin at the numpties*
Baz: Pretty boy. Pretty eyes. Golden curls. Fucking moles. So stupidly beautiful. He's the only thing keeping me alive.
Penny, talking to Baz: It’s like a switch.
Simon: Hey why are you guys talking about me?
Simon: I have a plan!
Baz: Oh, now you have a plan.
Penny: You two are exhausting. Here’s what we’re actually going to do-
Shepard: Wait, the dragon boy has words to speak.
Simon: Do you have a couple million pounds lying around?
Baz: ...For what?
Simon: Because you could get a literal dinosaur! It would be too big to fit in the flat but maybe outside...
Baz, deadpanned: No.
Penny: Drink the rest of your coffee so you’re awake enough to laugh at my jokes.
Simon: What do you mean? I always laugh at your jokes.
Penny: No, you don’t.
Simon: That’s because they’re not funny!
Penny: Exactly! So chug.
Simon, bursting into Penny’s apartment: Can I tell you something?!
Penny, clearly startled: What the fuck do you want?
Simon: Baz does this thing and it makes me feel things and I don’t know what to do!
Penny, starring into the distance like she’s on The Office:
Baz: Hey Simon, can you grab me a drink while you’re up?
Simon: What’s the magic word?
Baz: Oh fuck you, I’ll get it myself.
Simon: If you would’ve said please, I would have done it but okay.
Simon: *yawns*
Baz: Yeah, being handsome must be tiring.
Simon: Then you must be exhausted.
Baz: *blushes furiously*
kidnappers: we have your son
penelope: i dont have a son
kidnappers: then who keeps oversharing every single detail about himself unprompted even while we threaten his life
penelope: oh my god they have shepard
kidnappers: please take him back we cant fucking take it anymore please-
Shepard: If someone tried to erase my memory I simply would not forget
Shepard: R.I.P. to the other Normals but I’m different
Not an incorrect post but just a general question
So ya know the hc where yeet would be a spell? Could you cast yeet on people or would that just be inanimate objects? Like I’m just curious
Simon, blending together a random assortment of food in the blender:
Baz, walking into the kitchen and spotting cookies next to Gatorade:
Baz: No. Just no.
Simon: What about this is no?
Simon: Can I borrow £10?
Baz: For you? Anything.
Simon: In that case, can I borrow £20?
Baz: You’re pushing your luck.
Baz, after doing something embarrassing: I’m going to forget this ever happened.
Simon: Oh I’m going to remind you of it. Constantly. As much as I can.