daddy bach @indabachanddebussy - Tumblr Blog

okay i lowk dont know why i randomly had this idea, but the main gang all going on a mission together where everything goes wrong. it's like a bad roadtrip. gon has his head stuck in a flowerpot, killua just got flung into a puddle of mud, anera got smacked in the face bc she was distracted and laughing at him, leorio somehow lost his pants and is now fighting in nothing but his suit jacket and hello kitty underwear, and kurapika's barely keeping his sanity intact

HIIIIIIIII!!! oh my god. YES. YES. A THOUSAND TIMES YES. can i first js say how much i love you for automatically including anera?? i actually have no words for how much i love you for just considering anera as part of the main gang and requesting for the main gang in specific. like ngl i was just scrolling through my tumblr today, not even thinking about posting, but JUST because of this, i'm posting two thingies. EVERYONE GO CHECK OUT THE FOURTH OF JULY AND APPLE PIE MAKING CONTEST HCS/FIC ONCE IT'S DONE. i'm also gonna be so honest, i'm putting my blood, sweat, and tears into this, because you made my actual day with this, and since i haven't posted in forever and a half, i'm gonna try to make it up to y'all!! imma make sure this is something you guys enjoy and hopefully it half-makes up for my hiatus😪 let us clear some things up first, because, as y'all know, i run a tight ship... i make sure every post i make has "realism" and canon-accurate characters. ALSO IDK IF YOU WANT HCS OR A FIC SO I KINDA DID A MIX OF BOTH!! i'm somewhat experimenting ok??

i absolutely adore this req, i mean you literally fed me for an entire week with it. you do not understand. likeeee oh my god yes😭😭😭 this is literally the exact kind of mission where the actual objective is probably something stupidly simple too, which makes the way it deteriorates ten times funnier. but trust imma turn it into an actual hunter mission with stakes, planning, canon characters, or any explanation for why these five grown-ass hunters were travelling together in the first place. and i do NOT want it to feel like everybody suddenly lost half their intelligence or abilities because the prompt is funny😭 they still complete the mission because they’re insanely capable, it's just that the comedy comes from the fact that every practical inconvenience imaginable happens around them while they are being capable!! like gon does not stick his head into an expensive flowerpot because he thinks pottery is edible, killua does not randomly trip into mud, leorio does not js forget to wear trousers, anera does not stand still and politely wait to be hit LMAO. like, listen, everything has an actual sequence behind it.

these dumbasses are five incredibly skilled, fully developed hunters completing a genuinely dangerous assignment with excellent nen control, coordination, intelligence, and judgment... they js happen to be doing it while one of them is covered in swamp water, one has been struck in the face by two separate plants, one has become antique pottery, and one has lost legal custody of his trousers...

kurapika is the only person who remains visually respectable. psychologically, however, he is being killed.

SO LET'S GET INTO IT!!!

PLEASE READ EVERYTHING THAT'S NEXT, IT'S IMPORTANT FOR THE REST OF THE HC/FIC THINGY. THE DETAILS MATTER FOR THE STORY AND GIVE CONTEXT. plus it's funny!

ok first… when the hell does this even happen??

this would have to take place later, when they’re all adults and have properly grown into their own paths, because there is no believable point during the original series where gon, killua, kurapika, leorio, and anera are all simultaneously available for a casual joint assignment. kurapika is occupied with the succession conflict, gon’s nen situation is complicated, killua is travelling with alluka, leorio has his medical training, and anera has her own work and life. getting these five in the same place would already require an act of god and several cleared calendars

so yk what? i’m placing it at a future point where they’ve finally reconnected properly and are individually established enough that the hunter association can request them as a specialised temporary team. they are not reverting to their younger personalities either: gon is more thoughtful about consequences (shockingly) and likely has his nen back, killua is less controlled by fear but still hyperaware of danger, leorio is genuinely competent in medical environments and prolly even got his license, kurapika isn't dead and is more conscious of his own limits even if he still pushes them, and anera has become much warmer and more expressive without losing any of her strategic instincts

but they still become fucking idiots together sometimes, though. growth does not cure group dynamics. that is important. keep it in mind.

the actual mission

the hunter association has acquired legal rights to a rare nen-responsive plant called the vesper bell orchid, which only grows in one isolated valley on the yorbian continent. its nectar is not some magical cure-all, but sanbica norton’s research team has discovered that a refined compound from it may help neutralise a specific parasitic toxin that has been spreading through several rural settlements

the problem is that the only mature specimen outside the protected valley belongs to the estate of a recently deceased botanical hunter. the hunter’s surviving nephew has agreed to transfer the plant to the association, but ownership of the estate is being contested by several private collectors, one of whom is almost definitely connected to an illegal magical-plant trafficking network

and because the entire world is against the main gang, the orchid cannot js be placed inside a box and shipped normally. its roots have grown around a nen-inscribed ceramic base that regulates temperature and aura exposure. removing it would kill the plant, strong bursts of hostile aura can force it to release defensive pollen, and air travel is impossible because rapid pressure changes trigger premature blooming

so they have to travel by road, collect the entire living plant from the estate, transport it upright in a specially secured container, and deliver it to sanbica’s research facility ALL WITHIN forty-eight hours

yeah, they're cooked.

on paper, this is an escort and retrieval mission, but in reality, it is a road trip involving a medically significant houseplant that becomes irritated when people argue near it (???😭)

why does the association choose THEM anyway?!?

well, cheadle is the one formally overseeing the mission because the plant is intended for medical research, but sanbica specifically asks for leorio. he understands enough medicine to monitor pollen exposure, recognise a dangerous reaction, and keep the plant’s handlers alive if somebody has an allergic response. this is not leorio being included because they needed a fifth friend for the comedy. he is genuinely one of the most necessary people there. unironically.

kurapika is chosen to lead the negotiation and verify the estate documents. the dead hunter owned several objects with questionable provenance, and the association is worried the collectors may attempt to present forged ownership records. kurapika is extremely good at reading contracts, detecting inconsistencies, and noticing when somebody is hiding the actual terms of an agreement

gon is selected because his tracking, senses, and almost unnatural connection to living environments make him ideal for locating the orchid, recognising changes in the surrounding magical beasts, and noticing when something in the terrain feels wrong. he also has the raw physical power to protect the transport even if the route becomes significantly more dangerous than predicted

killua is chosen for his speed, threat detection, and ability to intercept somebody before they can reach either the orchid or the civilians around it. he is extremely difficult to surprise, can disable mechanisms almost instantly, and understands assassination tactics well enough to recognise how traffickers would realistically attempt the theft

anera is chosen because she covers nearly every gap between those roles while also bringing abilities neither of them has. physically, she is every bit as dangerous: extraordinarily fast, strong, coordinated, and capable of adjusting her body and aura in the middle of movement without losing momentum. she can track, protect, infiltrate, and fight directly rather than standing behind the others and telling them where to go

plus listen, sovereign logic also makes her one of the most valuable people they could possibly bring into an unstable retrieval mission. depending on the situation, she can dramatically enhance her physical performance, control positioning, restrict an opponent’s options, and turn a chaotic space into something she can actively govern. if the traffickers attempt an ambush, she is not merely helping the group adapt to it—she is literally one of the people most capable of taking control of the entire encounter

plus, mentally, she is also operating on the same level as the boys, and in certain areas above them. killua may identify immediate danger faster, gon may understand the natural environment more instinctively, and kurapika may have more specialised legal knowledge, but anera is the GOATTTT. she lit processes the entire situation extremely quickly: people, terrain, motives, physical openings, and how one decision will alter the next several

her social ability is a bonus on top of all that. she can speak with workers naturally, get information without making them feel interrogated, and notice when somebody’s behaviour does not match their words—but framing that as her central contribution makes her sound like she was selected to handle customer service while the boys do the dangerous part😭

realistically, cheadle would choose her because she is one of the few hunters who can move between negotiation, covert investigation, environmental tracking, and full direct combat without becoming noticeably weaker in any of them. she can spend ten minutes getting useful information from a gardener, then notice an ambush before it begins, physically overpower one of the attackers, activate sovereign logic, and become one of the strongest people controlling the battlefield... and that needs to carry through the entire mission

morel is the one who recommends using them as a group because he knows they already understand one another’s fighting patterns. according to him, it will be safer than assigning five strangers who need to establish trust during the mission

technically, he is correct. realistically and socially, he has made a grave mistake

the briefing at the hunter association

the briefing includes cheadle, sanbica, beans, morel, and melody, who has already spoken with the estate's nephew during a preliminary meeting. melody, unfortunately, cannot join the mission because she has another assignment, but she tells kurapika that the nephew's heartbeat sounded truthful when he agreed to the transfer—while the estate manager standing beside him was lying about something almost continuously

"about the plant?" kurapika asks

melody says she cannot be certain; the manager's heartbeat only became noticeably irregular when she mentioned the property's west greenhouse and the private service road behind it

kurapika, obviously, writes ts down immediately

gon isn't a bum, so he's listening properly, but he keeps glancing at a photograph of the orchid because its bell-shaped flowers close whenever somebody raises their voice. he asks whether it can hear

sanbica says it does not "hear" in a normal sense; it reacts to vibrations, aura changes, and abrupt movement

anera, like an idiot, leans toward killua and whispers, "so basically kurapika's gonna make it wilt" 😭 killua tries to act locked in and shoots her a side eye while leorio and gon snicker at her joke behind her

kurapika continues writing without looking up. "i heard that"

"see?" she says to nobody in particular. "sensitive to sound"

leorio has to cough into his hand to hide a laugh during an official medical briefing

cheadle gives all five of them the expression of somebody beginning to question morel’s judgment

the plant's conditions are annoyingly specific

THIS IS IMPORTANT. DO NOT SKIP THIS PART.

the orchid HAS to remain within a certain temperature range, cannot tilt beyond thirty degrees, and must be checked every two hours for changes in aura activity. leorio receives a medical kit containing antihistamines, respiratory equipment, and a neutralising solution for the pollen because anera has allergies

sanbica also gives them a small detection card that changes colour if the plant begins releasing spores. leorio treats this like an important clinical tool because it is. gon immediately asks whether they can test it

“no" literally EVERYONE says in unison

“but then how do we know it works?”

“because sanbica made it.”

“but—”

gon, you sweet summer child

“gon,” leorio says, already sounding tired, “we are not irritating the medically valuable plant to see whether the warning card is lying.”

killua asks what happens if somebody exposes it to ren.

sanbica says the bloom may open defensively and release enough pollen to disorient everybody in an enclosed space

anera looks around the table. “ok, so no intense emotions near the flower”

every person looks at kurapika

kurapika slowly puts down his pen

“why is everyone looking at me?”

morel is openly laughing now. great leadership.😭

morel provides the transportation

because no, the plant cannot fly and ordinary cargo companies are considered too risky, so naturally morel offers them one of his old field vans. he describes it as “ugly but reliable,” which should have been treated as a direct threat

beans hands kurapika the keys and a folder containing the route permits. the key has a faded plastic fish attached to it and only works if it is turned while slightly lifting the steering wheel

kurapika obviously asks why

morel says, "you'll get used to it"

mf that is NOT an answer😭

and holy hell is that car HIDEOUS.

outside, they discover the van is this enormous dull-green thing with one sliding door, mismatched mirrors, and a suspicious dent in the roof. the seats smell faintly like cigarette smoke, salt water, and something nobody can identify (prolly morel's nuh...)

gon thinks it's great or doesn't see anything wrong with it. no in between.

killua walks around it once and says, "this thing is going to die"

morel says it has survived worse

anera looks at the dent. "did the 'worse' happen from above..?"

morel refuses to explain the dent

packing for the road

kurapika kurta

kurapika packs only what he needs: documents, spare clothing, emergency money, trail mix, and several different route maps because he does not trust morel’s navigation system

killua zoldyck

killua brings a small bag of clothes, charging equipment, multiple packets of sweets, and several tools he claims might become useful. anera watches him place an entire bag of chocolate beside the mission supplies and asks whether the orchid needs those for temperature regulation

- "they're mine," he says - "uh... all of them?" - "yes" - "you know this is a two-day mission, right?" - "so?" - "whatever. you better share, fatso" - he looks at her snack bag, which is filled with fruit-flavored candy, chocolate, and bottled iced coffee - neither of them continues the conversation

fatasses 😭

gon freecss

gon packs lightly, but his bag contains fishing line, a small folding knife, rope, two changes of clothes, snacks, and three completely unrelated objects he claims are useful. one is a smooth rock from whale island. nobody understands why the rock is operationally necessary

leorio paradinight

leorio packs like he expects to establish a temporary hospital. he has his medical supplies, two suits, several dress shirts, four pairs of socks, spare shoes, toiletries, books, a travel pillow, and an iron

and yes, he absolutely has his hello kitty underwear on (an extra pair packed, too)

- anera watches him put the iron into the bag “are we fighting wrinkles now?” - “we are meeting the legal owner of a valuable research specimen. some of us respect presentation” - “some of us are bringing household appliances into a forest" - “it’s a travel iron" - "oh, thank god. i thought it was a combat iron!!” - "what if we have to meet someone important?" - "then they can meet the shoes already on your feet"

why leorio has hello kitty underwear

and YES, the hello kitty underwear has lore because, even though we love him and he's hilarious and silly, the mf wold not voluntarily purchase ONE SINGLE novelty pair for an important mission

or any reason, honestly

the thing is, several months earlier, anera and gon found a multipack at a market and bought it for him as a joke after grandpa leorio complained they never gave him "useful presents"

when they gave them to him he called them both immature, said he would never wear them, and put the package inside his bag

unfortunately, he later discovered they were actually comfortable

he now wears them occasionally under the deeply reasonable assumption that nobody is gonna see his underwear during a professional hunter assignment😭

this assumption will age horribly (like leorio milk)

so, without further ado:

THE MAIN GANG GOING ON A HUNTER MISSION WHERE LITERALLY EVERYTHING GOES WRONG

by: the goat, daddy bach (me)

the seating arrangement is already some bs...

kurapika drives because he trusts himself with the route. leorio claims the passenger seat because he gets nauseated if he reads in the back, and the medical monitoring equipment needs to remain close to him

gon initially gets the left window, anera is stuck in the middle, and killua takes the right window. this seems fine until killua gradually begins sitting like he owns the entire row—one knee angled outward, shoulder against the window, bag between his feet—and anera realises she has somehow been compressed into approximately forty percent of the middle seat

within twenty minutes, anera is complaining that killua’s leg is on her side

she nudges his knee away with hers once, and killua moves it back without even looking at her. she does it again, slightly harder, and he moves it back again. this continues silently for about thirty seconds before gon notices their legs repeatedly colliding and looks down like he is watching a very small territorial dispute

killua says there are no official sides

- “there are three seats” - “and?” - “therefore there are three sides" - “that’s not how space works" - "shut up and move your knee" - “move yours" - "uh, no, i'm in the middle. i've got the worst seat so you have to accommodate to me, asshole" - "just deal with it and move your knees, you'll figure it out" - anera looks at him. “i’m in the middle. where exactly would you like me to move it? into my chest?” - “not my problem” he takes some chocolate and shoves it in his mouth - “it becomes your problem when i remove your kneecap"

killua finally looks over, gives her the most deliberately unimpressed expression possible, and says, “shut up. you’re only cramped because you’re so fat”

silence of doom and misery.

then gon laughs—not because he agrees, obviously, but because killua says it with absolutely no warning and this stupidly calm expression like he has made a legitimate medical observation😭 he also meatrides tf outta killua so... yeah. (unfortunately he still hasn't dropped this habit, even at his big age...)

anera’s head turns toward gon SO fast and he immediately stops

“why are you looking at me? he said it" “you laughed" "because it wasn’t true!” “oh, so when someone lies about me, you find it funny?” she's ragebaiting i promise she's acc chill ok😭

gon starts getting genuinely defensive now because he loves her and does not want her to think he was laughing at her. “no! i knew he was joking. you’re not fat at all!!!”

anera stares at him. “thank you, gon. i was waiting for an official family statement"

“no, wait, anera!! i’m defending you!”

“you joined the attack before issuing the correction.”

gon looks toward killua like this has somehow become his fault—which it literally was—but killua is already facing the window acting like he had nothing to do with this suppressing a smile

SMACK.

naturally, anera smacks killua across the upper arm

not hard enough to genuinely hurt him, obviously, but hard enough to make a satisfying sound

- killua turns back around. “what the hell?! what was that for?” - "you deserved it. medical intervention, if you will" - “you hit me because you’re fat??!”

she smacks him AGAIN😭

now gon is laughing harder, but he puts both hands up before she can accuse him of supporting body-based discrimination again LMAO

thankfully, father leorio twists around in the passenger seat because he has been listening to this entire argument against his will.

- “first of all, she’s not fat. second, you’re sitting like you paid for the entire row. move your damn leg, brat” - killua says, “nobody asked you, gramps” - “i’m a medical professional.” - “you graduated like two years ago, you’re basically still a student.” - “i got the degree and know enough anatomy to confirm your knee is in her seat, dumbass” - anera points toward leorio like he has js given expert testimony. - “thank you” - “hey don’t thank me, you threatened to remove his kneecap" - “preventative medicine, you should know” - “that is not medicine.”

kurapika has had his eyes closed in the driver’s seat for most of this—not sleeping, obviously, js resting them while the van is stopped at a long crossing. without opening them, he says, “killua, move your leg.”

killua looks offended. “you didn’t even see it!!”

“i have heard enough to determine that you are the problem"

anera leans back, victorious.

killua finally moves his knee, but only about three centimeters

she looks down

“you’re such an asshole”

"whatever, you have space now."

she puts her bag directly on his foot for the next hour

ONE HOUR IN

the fat joke becomes an annoying running callback for sure

killua would keep trying to bring it back every time anera complains about the van being cramped, but it gets less effective because she immediately begins turning it against him

the sliding door sticks, so anera has to shoulder it twice before it opens😭

killua says, “maybe it’s the extra weight.”

BYE?

she turns around. “maybe it sensed your personality and locked itself, ass”

later, the van makes a horrible sound when they all climb in after the petrol station

killua glances toward her☠

she points at him before he can speak. “say it and i’ll tell everyone what i caught you doing last thursday”

he closes his mouth

gon asks, “what was he going to say?”

“nothing,” killua says

“something weak,” anera corrects

leorio eventually gets tired of it and says, “nobody in this van is fat. the van is old, the seats are too small, and killua is an irritating little shit. can we close the case?"

anera says, “medical ruling.”

killua mutters, “biased jury.”

"gay," anera follows up with.

kurapika, still driving, adds, “unanimous verdict.”

he sounds completely serious too, which is what makes killua turn toward the front in genuine betrayal😭

gon is prolly napping right now

ALSO, THE AUX SITUATION IS SO SERIOUS FOR NO REASON

leorio gets control of the van’s music because he is sitting in the passenger seat beside the radio connection thingy. this should be harmless, he is an adult. he can be trusted to make a normal playlist, right?

WRONG.

he cannot.

his road-trip playlist (which is actually his main playlist) has absolutely no internal logic. it jumps from “thrift shop” to a kanye song, then ac/dc, then 50 cent, then “party rock anthem,” then eminem, then “despacito,” then queen, then the black eyed peas, then kings of leon, then beyoncé

no joke, there is no transition, there is no mood. every song arrives like somebody has changed vehicles while they were not looking

anera would 100% have her own music with her, but she is not walking through an active investigation with both headphones on and the volume high enough to miss somebody approaching. she is far too observant for that, and being casually musical does not erase her survival instincts

during the actual road-trip stretches, like right now, she has one earbud in most of the time. the other stays out so she can hear the conversation, traffic changes, kurapika giving directions, or gon suddenly announcing that he saw something moving beside the road

with leorio's music... it becomes a tad difficult

anera removes her earbud during the fourth song and slowly looks toward the front

- “what is this playlist?” - leorio turns around. “music.” - “no, i know what music is. why is it having an identity crisis?” - “it’s called variety.” - killua says, “it’s called not knowing what you like.”

leorio becomes immediately defensive because this playlist is clearly very personal to him. he says they have no appreciation for classics and turns the volume higher.

the next song is a pitbull song😭

anera looks toward killua. “the classic era” and he snorts

leorio hears them. “shut up"

BRO AND IT DOESN'T STOP. IT GENUINELY JS KEEPS GOING.

kelly clarkson. “sweet caroline” where leorio harmonizes with the bum-bum-bum loud asl😭. rihanna. will.i.am. drake. taio cruz. psy. jason derulo. michael jackson. flo rida. backstreet boys. lady gaga. each selection making the previous one seem like it belonged to an entirely different road trip

gon does not care at ALL. he likes some songs, ignores others, watches the scenery, taps on the window during anything with a noticeable beat, and never once questions why the playlist has moved from hard rock to dance-pop to nu metal to a dramatic ballad in 2-5 minutes

sometimes he even joins in during the loud parts despite not knowing most of the words. he js makes approximately correct sounds with complete confidence

leorio appreciates gon more than anyone else in the van during these moments.

kurapika’s response to leorio’s music

well... kurapika does not openly complain at first., ok?

he is driving, the route requires attention, and he knows that arguing with leorio will be more distracting than tolerating the music

so he keeps his expression neutral, says nothing, and occasionally closes his eyes whenever they are stopped—as if he is taking a brief moment to rest😭😭

everyone can tell he hates it tho.

like it's not even that he hates every individual song. he probably recognises that several are good. he js hates the volume, the abrupt genre changes, leorio drumming against the dashboard, and the way certain bass-heavy songs make morel’s ancient speakers vibrate like they are about to fall out

during one especially aggressive transition from queen into LMFAO, kurapika’s fingers tighten slightly around the steering wheel

anera notices.

killua notices her noticing

neither says anything, but both begin grinning at each other

leorio catches their reflection in the mirror. “what?”

“nothing,” anera says.

“why are you both looking at kurapika?”

kurapika replies before they can. “keep your attention forward, leorio.”

this is the closest he gets to admitting that the music is steadily eroding his mental health

#justice for kurapika

(everyone spam "#justiceforkurapika" in the comments so he knows you stand in solidarity with him 😌)

the aux fight

after about forty minutes, anera reaches forward and says, “give me the aux”

leorio puts one hand over the adapter like she is attempting to steal medical records. “no.”

“you have played three pitbull songs”

“there have been two.”

“the fact that you know that is not helping.”

killua leans forward from the other side. “her music is better than this.”

anera turns toward him, mildly surprised. “thank you.”

“barely.”

she smacks his knee.

leorio says neither of them is touching the radio because killua skips every song after twenty seconds and anera will put on “some quiet depressing shit.”

“it's literally not?? plus even if it was it’s called atmosphere.”

“we are driving through a swamp.”

“then we need atmosphere more than ever.”

killua reaches past her toward the adapter. anera catches his wrist because she wants control first. now they are both leaning between the front seats, fighting over a wire connected to an ancient radio while kurapika is attempting to read a road sign

- “move!” - “you move!” - “i asked first.” - “you have bad taste.” - “you listen to electronic noises made for twelve-year-old boys.” - “your playlist has eleven songs that sound like someone staring through a rainy window.” - “even if i did those are different emotional experiences.” - “they have the same piano, dumbass!"

leorio grabs the adapter away from both of them and nearly pulls it out of the radio

the music turns into violent static

gon flinches. kurapika’s eyes close for one second

then kurapika says, very calmly, “the next person who touches the radio will walk beside the van”

complete silence.

killua and anera slowly sit back.

leorio restores his playlist at a lower volume.

kurapika pulls over without raising his voice.

he removes the adapter, places it in the glove compartment, closes it, and resumes driving in complete silence.

gon asks whether the aux is gone forever.

kurapika sentences them to thirty minutes.

nobody argues because kurapika does not sound angry, and instead he sounds like he has already considered the logistics of making them walk and found them acceptable😭

the wrong road

he grips his teetthe western service route begins normally enough that nobody immediately blames leorio. the road is narrow and badly maintained, but it is still technically a road. trees press close to both sides, the ground beneath the tyres is dark from yesterday’s rain, and there are no signs confirming whether they are travelling toward the estate or deeper into an unrelated forest.

leorio is holding the folded route map across his knees with complete confidence.

“knuckle said this saves forty minutes.”

killua is leaning forward between the seats, looking past him at the increasingly narrow path

“knuckle also tried to fight youpi.”

“what the hell does that have to do with directions?”

“it establishes judgment.”

leorio turns halfway around. “you didn’t complain when we took the turn.”

“i did.”

“you said, ‘this road looks stupid.’ that is not useful feedback.”

from the back, anera looks up from her phone. she has one earbud in, the other hanging loose against her shirt.

“ok but to be fair, that was an extremely accurate review.”

leorio looks at her too. “you agreed with me???”

“actually, i only said it looked faster.”

“exactly!!”

“faster and good aren’t synonyms, dumbass”

kurapika grips the steering wheel slightly tighter. “none of this changes the fact that we are already on it.”

gon is beside the window, watching the trees go past. “it’s getting muddier”

leorio immediately points at him like he has found support. “hey, hey. mud doesn’t mean the road is unusable.”

the van slips slightly to the right.

everybody stops talking.

kurapika corrects the wheel before they touch the ditch. his expression does not change, but his next words come out significantly flatter.

“leorio.”

"hey, that could’ve happened anywhere.”

“we are not anywhere” he grits his teeth

then the road dips

the van descends into a section where several deep tyre grooves have filled with brown water. the rear wheels sink far enough that the entire vehicle tilts backward, sending gon’s bag sliding beneath the seats and anera’s iced coffee leaning dangerously in the cupholder.

she grabs it before it falls.

“i swear to god, if this spills—”

the underside of the van produces a long, metallic scrape.

killua’s head turns toward the floor.

the engine makes another sound.

a quiet, ugly mechanical knock.

killua slowly looks toward the front.

“oh shit. that sounded expensive.”

leorio lowers the map. “what does ‘expensive’ sound like?”

"of course you're asking that😭"

the van knocks again.

“that” killua follows

kurapika stops before the rear axle sinks any farther. the tyres spin once, throwing wet soil against the wheel wells, and then the whole vehicle settles with a heavy shift

silence.

it's so quiet that from her headphones, one of anera’s road-trip songs continues playing at a completely inappropriate level of calm.

gon looks out his window at the ground. “we’re stuck.”

leorio is still holding the map.

he looks down at it, then out the windshield. then back down.

“...no, we’re not.”

killua opens the side door. “the van is leaning.”

“that doesn’t mean it’s stuck.”

everybody gets out.

leorio remains inside for several extra seconds, turning the map upside down and then immediately returning it to the original direction as though nobody saw.

anera pauses outside the door.

“you coming?”

“i’m checking something.”

“the map isn’t going to apologize, y'know.”

leorio folds it aggressively and follows.

outside, the road is worse than it looked through the windows. both rear wheels have sunk several inches, and the left tyre is pressed against a mass of thick, dark vines twisted beneath the mud

gon crouches near it. “this one’s wrapped around the axle.”

kurapika walks over, kneeling just far enough away to inspect without touching. “do not pull it yet.”

gon has already placed his hand around it, but he stops.

killua stands behind him, eyes narrowing.

the vine looks ordinary until it shifts beneath gon’s fingers.

gon looks up. "“"hey, it moved.”

anera, still holding her drink, leans slightly to see. “maybe don’t say that like you found something interesting.”

“it is interesting.”

“that’s usually the problem.”

the ground beneath the road begins to rise.

at first it's just a low ripple moving outward from beneath the tyre, lifting small stones and pushing muddy water aside.

leorio steps backward. “that’s alive?”

killua looks at him. “no, leorio. the road’s breathing.”

“i’m asking because it didn’t look alive.”

“oh yeah? and now?” anera says

another vine emerges from the ditch.

leorio looks at it.

“now it does.”

the spring-root beast pulls itself partly above ground, its central body still hidden beneath the mud while several thick roots spread around the van.

kurapika’s chain appears immediately.

anera lowers her coffee onto the van’s rear step, takes out her earbud, and places her phone in her pocket.

“great. love that for us.”

gon shifts his grip on the root near the axle.

killua’s attention snaps toward it.

the tension has changed.

“gon, move.”

gon looks back. “i’m almost—”

“move!!”

gon begins releasing it.

the root contracts.

killua grabs the back of gon’s jacket and throws him away from the tyre so fast that gon lands several feet down the road before he even processes being moved.

the root snaps free of the axle, killua pivots to avoid the recoil.

he would have avoided it, and he does avoid the direction it was originally traveling. but then the root changes course

it loops around his waist, and there's one brief second where killua looks down at it.

“FUCK! you’ve got to be—” the root yanks.

killua and the most personal betrayal of his life

killua leaves the ground so completely and suddenly that nobody reacts in time. his entire body is lifted horizontally, carried past the rear of the van, and fired across the road.

anera watches him pass through her field of vision like somebody dragged him across the screen.

for maybe one full second, he is suspended sideways in the air. both feet off the ground, arms slightly out, eyes wide.

but his expression does not say fear. it says that this outcome was not included in his calculations and he would like to speak to whoever authorised it. then he disappears over the edge of the ditch.

splash.

mud rises high enough to strike the side of the van, and a wet clump lands on the windshield and begins sliding downward in slow motion.

everybody freezes. gon is sitting on the road where killua threw him, one hand still raised as though he intends to finish whatever he was saying.

leorio’s mouth is open, anera has both hands suspended halfway toward where killua used to be, and kurapika’s chain is wrapped around two of the beast’s roots, but even his grip briefly stills.

the playlist is still coming through the anera's earphones, the silence so loud everyone can hear it.

an upbeat song continues beneath the image of an empty ditch.

gon looks toward the mud.

“killua?”

nothing.

leorio starts moving. “oh shit—”

one muddy hand rises from the ditch.

everybody stops again.

then the top of killua’s head appears, except his white hair is now plastered flat and entirely brown. he slowly sits up until the mud reaches the middle of his chest

one leaf is stuck directly between his eyebrows.

only the skin around his eyes remains clean because he squeezed them shut at impact.

killua opens them.

the group sees his expression.

no one speaks.

he remains seated in the ditch, looking straight ahead with the blankness of somebody waiting for the universe to admit there has been a clerical error.

anera starts "killua–"

gon gets to his feet. “are you hurt?”

killua does not answer immediately.

he lifts one arm, rotates his shoulder, then checks the other. his nen protected him from the impact; nothing appears seriously damaged.

“no.”

gon visibly relaxes, but anera’s shoulders begin shaking.

killua’s eyes move toward her.

she places one hand over her mouth.

“don’t.”

she shakes her head quickly, still covering her mouth.

“i–i’m not.”

“you are.”

“i’m checking on you.”

“with your whole body shaking?”

she turns away from him and looks at the van.

this almost works.

then killua attempts to stand.

the mud releases him with a thick, obscene suction sound.

schlllp.

anera folds immediately.

her forehead nearly hits the side of the van. both hands catch the metal, and the laughter comes out of her before she can even pretend otherwise

killua’s mouth tightens; he gets one foot onto solid ground. his other foot does not follow. he looks down.

his left shoe is still in the ditch. gon presses his lips together.

killua slowly puts the muddy sock back into the puddle, reaches down, and searches beneath the surface.

his hand closes around the shoe. he pulls... nothing. he pulls harder. the mud holds it.

anera looks over at the exact wrong moment.

killua has one hand braced against the embankment and the other locked around his own shoe, wrestling it out of the earth like the road is trying to keep a souvenir.

she slides down the van until she is almost crouching.

“stop—wait—”

killua yanks again.

the shoe comes free all at once.

mud splashes directly onto the front of his shirt.

gon turns around.

his shoulders start moving.

killua notices. “gon.”

gon covers his mouth. “i’m sorry.”

“you’re laughing.”

“i know! i’m sorry!!”

“i saved you.”

gon nods seriously while still visibly fighting it. “you did.”

“and this is your response?”

anera tries speaking through her own laughter. “he appreciates you.”

killua turns toward her.

she is wiping tears from beneath her eyes. “you looked like—”

she loses the sentence, CACKLING

killua climbs fully out of the ditch with slow, murderous precision.

each step produces a wet slap from the shoe he just recovered.

gon’s apology becomes a laugh again.

leorio opens the medical case and pretends to search through it.

his shoulders are also moving.

killua looks at him. “what are you doing?”

“checking for disinfectant.”

“for what?”

“the water.”

“you’re laughing.”

“i’m a doctor. i can multitask.”

kurapika tightens the chains around the beast and looks back at them. “could someone who is not currently incapacitated by amusement assist me?”

anera raises one hand while still bent over.

“give me—” she tries breathing. “give me a second.”

kurapika looks at the beast, then at killua. then at the muddy road.

“apparently, that is what caused the problem.”

even killua looks at him.

kurapika returns his attention to the roots as though he said nothing.

killua removes the leaf from his forehead and studies it. immediately after he crushes it slowly in one fist.

he looks directly at anera. there is so much betrayal in his face that she finally manages to stand.

“okay. i’m done.”

killua takes one wet step.

slap.

she breaks again.

"ANERA."

"WHAT?"

“you’re not done.”

“i’m trying!!!!”

“try harder.”

“you were jus—”

she gestures through the air with one hand.

“i mean, like! you went straight across! there wasn’t even an arc.”

gon adds, “it was really fast.”

killua turns toward him. “thanks.”

“i didn’t mean—”

"HAHAHA!" anera grabs the van again. “you looked like somebody skipped you across a pond!!”

killua stares at her.

she looks at his flattened hair and immediately loses it for the fourth time.

he does not forgive the road, he does not forgive the root, he does not forgive knuckle for recommending the route, he does not forgive morel for owning the van. he especially does not forgive anera for witnessing the exact second his physical coordination was overruled by landscaping.

then anera gets hit in the face the first time

let's not forget the spring-root beast is still active.

nobody has forgotten this except anera, whose judgment has been temporarily compromised by the sight of killua standing in one muddy sock

kurapika has two roots restrained, but a third is moving behind the van.

“anera!”

she raises one finger without turning.

“wait, wait, i’m done.”

killua wipes mud from his cheek. “you’ve said that four times!!”

she points toward him without looking. “you don’t get to speak yet.”

“i’m the one who got thrown?!”

“exactly.”

“anera!”

kurapika’s tone changes; she still assumes he is telling her to stop.

“i know, i know, i heard you. lemme recollect myself”

kurapika’s eyes shift behind her. “evidently not.”

killua follows his gaze.

the spring-root beast has lifted a broad, leaf-covered limb. it bends backward, collecting tension.

killua sees the angle.

then he sees anera still laughing, his expression clears.

his entire humiliation briefly leaves him because something better has presented itself

anera notices the change in his face.

“what?”

leorio just noticed. "oh shit—"

he looks past her shoulder.

she turns, the limb swings

"what the fu—"

smack.

the sound is so flat and clean that the forest seems to go silent around it

the leaf-covered surface catches anera directly across the face.

her head snaps to the side, one foot lifts, the rest of her body rotates after it, and her shoulder hits the van hard enough to shake the open door

pollen erupts around her hair in a thick yellow cloud.

the iced coffee resting on the rear step is struck by her hip. it flips into the air. everybody watches it land perfectly upright in the mud.

there is a brief moment where it appears to have survived, but then it tips over.

anera remains pressed against the van, one hand flat on the metal, her face turned away. hair swept across one eye.

nobody says anything. even the beast retracts its limb and remains still for a second, as though giving her time to process the interaction.

gon’s eyes are wide, leorio’s mouth closes, kurapika’s chain has stopped halfway through another movement. killua stands completely motionless.

anera blinks once, then twice. she slowly turns back toward them.

there is a full muddy leaf print across her cheek, not even a vague smear. the individual veins are visible.

killua looks directly at it, his mouth opens slightly.

anera sees his face.

he honestly tries to hold it in for maybe half a second, but then his entire body folds.

killua catches himself against the van and starts laughing so hard that his muddy clothes are no longer the worst thing happening to his dignity.

anera stares at him. “you hoe! you were literally underwater.”

he cannot answer. “you lost a shoe!!”

he looks up at her cheek. another wave hits him.

he crouches.

gon turns his face away, but his lips are pulling upward.

anera looks at him next. “gon.”

“i’m not laughing!!”

killua points at the print without being able to speak.

he makes one sudden noise and clamps both hands over his mouth.

anera’s expression changes and the leaf print bends with her cheek.

killua nearly falls over.

leorio, surprisingly "normal" approaches with his medical bag. “hold still.”

“i’m fine.”

“you got hit in the face.”

“by a plant.”

“that does not make it medically irrelevant.”

“it makes it worse, if anything.”

leorio reaches for her chin, turns her face slightly, and finally sees the full shape from the side.

his lips press together.

anera notices.

“are you laughing too?”

“no.”

“your mouth is doing something.”

“i’m examining you!!”

“with your teeth?”

eorio turns his head and clears his throat.

behind them, killua is still making broken sounds against the side of the van.

anera points at him. “whatever. he looked like luggage.”

killua straightens just enough to respond.

“you got slapped by a leaf.”

“it was attached to a beast!!”

gon, trying to help, says, “plants don’t usually slap people.”

anera turns toward him. “thank you, gon. i know this was unusual.”

kurapika resumes moving his chain.

“could we restrain the unusual plant before it attempts a third demonstration?”

anera wipes at the leaf print.

the mud smears outward.

the yellow pollen remains in the exact shape beneath it.

killua sees the new version.

both hands go onto his knees.

“oh, it got worse.”

“shut up.”

“you made it bigger.”

“killua.”

“there are details.”

anera looks at leorio. “is he medically allowed to die right now?”

leorio examines her pupil. “not until i finish checking you.”

and then gon fucking pressure-washes her

while leorio is checking her vision, gon notices the concentrated pollen around the corner of anera’s eye.

sanbica’s warning comes back to him immediately: prolonged exposure near the eyes or mouth can cause disorientation and respiratory symptoms

it becomes especially worse with allergies.

gon’s expression changes so quickly that anera catches it.

“what?”

he looks toward the open medical case, leorio follows his gaze a second too late.

gon grabs the emergency neutralizing bottle.

“gon, wait—” he is already moving.

anera pushes herself away from the van, expecting him to bring it over.

gon squeezes the nozzle and the solution hits her directly in the face

her entire face.

the pressure forces her backward into the van again.

the leaf print dissolves into muddy streaks down her jaw. her hair sticks to her forehead and mouth. neutralizer runs into her collar and pours from the ends of her sleeves.

gon continues spraying.

leorio reaches him.

“that’s enough!”

gon keeps the nozzle down because yellow water is still coming off her cheek.

“wait, there’s still pollen.”

“it’s coming off!”

“i know!”

“then stop squeezing!”

leorio wrestles the bottle upward.

the final stream shoots over anera’s head and hits the side window.

silence.

anera stands with her eyes closed.

solution drips steadily from her chin.

one section of hair is plastered across her nose.

she lifts both hands slightly, then stops because she does not know what she can safely touch

gon is holding the half-empty bottle.

leorio is holding gon’s wrist.

kurapika is still restraining the beast.

killua is staring.

anera opens one eye.

the second killua sees solution hanging from her eyelashes, he breaks harder than before.

he slides down the van. fully.

one muddy hand catches the doorframe and fails to keep him upright. he ends up sitting on the road, laughing into his own sleeve.

anera looks down at him.

“whatever. you're still covered in swamp.”

killua can barely inhale. “i know.”

“your sock is brown.”

“i know.”

“your hair looks like wet cardboard.”

he looks at her dripping face. he BREAKS DOWN.

“HAHAHA i don't—i don’t care.”

gon steps closer. “are your eyes okay?”

anera turns toward him very slowly.

i love her because my goat is not seriously angry... but that is the problem. gon looks genuinely worried, and the solution has probably prevented an actual reaction 😭 what a sweet boy ugh

she cannot even enjoy being mad at him.

"gon."

"yeah?"

“you could’ve warned me.”

“there was pollen near your eye!”

“i know.”

“sanbica said to rinse it.”

leorio takes the bottle and checks the remaining amount. “she said to rinse the affected area, not baptize her!!”

gon looks at the bottle. “it worked.”

"yeah.." anera wipes solution from her mouth. “that’s what makes this worse.”

gon studies her face. “you don’t feel dizzy?”

“no.”

“can you breathe?”

“yes.”

he visibly relaxes.

“okay. good.”

anera looks at him, then at the empty section of bottle, then at killua, still on the ground.

“i hate this road.”

killua manages to lift one finger. “now you get it.”

kurapika looks over his shoulder.

he takes in killua sitting in the mud-stained road, anera dripping beside the van, gon still in a decontamination stance, and leorio mourning the lost solution.

“are we finished?”

nobody answers.

kurapika tightens the chains around the beast.

“that was not rhetorical.”

poor kurapika. he's the real victim here.

anera is still one of the strongest people there, btw

anera drags both hands over her wet hair and pushes it away from her face. the laughter and humiliation are still there, but the second she turns back toward the beast, her whole posture changes

killua notices first because he knows the difference between anera being irritated and anera deciding a situation is over.

boom. sovereign logic activates.

the atmosphere around the encounter shifts—not through some ridiculous light show, but through the sudden sense that every moving part has been accounted for.

the beast attempts to retract the root around the axle.

anera catches it.

both hands close around something thicker than her torso, and she plants her feet in the mud. the root pulls, but she does not move.

leorio pauses mid-rant about the neutralizer.

gon’s face brightens. “you found the main tension point!"

“yeah.”

anera’s voice is calm now, but solution is still dripping from her elbows.

“gon, the core’s below the left tyre. killua, cut the smaller roots when it shifts.”

killua climbs back to his feet, still visibly amused.

“you sure you can see?” she looks at him.

the faint remainder of the leaf print is still visible beneath the wet hair.

“say one more thing.”

“uhh. your face is cleaner now.”

“killua. shut up and go!!”

he grins and moves.

the beast jerks the root sideways.

sovereign logic reinforces through anera’s stance. she rotates with the force, redirects it, and drives the limb into the road.

the impact cracks the packed mud around the hidden central body.

gon drops one hand to the ground.

“there.”

killua crosses the distance in a flash and cuts through three smaller roots before they can coil around the van again.

kurapika’s chains descend into the opening anera created and secure the beast’s core without crushing it.

leorio drags the medical bag away from the moving roots and points at gon.

“oi! you do not touch this bottle again.”

gon looks at anera. “even if there’s more pollen?”

“especially then.”

“but—”

“ask first.”

anera forces the root lower until the beast stops struggling.

“please ask first.”

gon nods. “okay.”

killua passes behind her, his wet shoe making another soft slap.

anera’s mouth twitches.

he immediately looks at her cheek, so her face goes flat again.

the truce is maintained through mutually assured humiliation.

the gas station aftermath

the nearest gas station is twenty minutes away once they free the van, and the drive there is almost entirely silent.

not peaceful silent. everybody is trying not to restart.

killua sits beside anera with a plastic bag that kurapika brought beneath his muddy shoes

every time the van turns, the bag makes a wet crinkling noise.

anera looks out the opposite window.

her shoulders move once.

killua catches it.

“don’t.”

“i didn’t do anything.”

“you remembered.”

“i can’t control my memories.”

“try.”

gon leans across from them. “your hair’s starting to dry.”

killua looks at him.

sweet gon means this as reassurance, but it does not sound like reassurance.

at the petrol station, killua exits before kurapika fully stops the vehicle.

he finds the outdoor tap, removes the damaged shoe, and begins washing mud from his clothes with the ruthless focus of somebody removing a curse.

the water turns brown around his feet.

anera goes into the bathroom to clean the remaining pollen from her face.

beneath the fluorescent light, she sees the mark properly for the first time.

even after gon’s assault with the solution, a pale yellow leaf outline remains across her cheek; the tiny veins are still visible.

anera leans closer to the mirror. “oh, you have got to be kidding me.”

outside, killua hears her through the open door.

“what?”

she turns toward him.

he looks up from rinsing his sleeve.

their eyes meet through the mirror, killua sees the print.

his mouth starts moving before any sound comes out.

anera raises the wet paper towel.

“do not.”

he looks down at his sleeve.

his shoulders begin shaking.

“i can see you.”

“what? i’m washing my shirt.”

“your shirt is not funny.”

“your face is.”

she throws the wet paper towel toward the doorway.

it lands several feet short.

killua looks at it on the floor.

then at her.

“great throw.”

“i got hit twice today. give me a break.”

“twice?”

“gon counts.”

gon appears behind her holding a bag of fruit. “i didn’t hit you.”

anera points toward him. “whatever. the water did. same thing."

leorio enters carrying clean bandages, sees them all looking at the mark, and immediately understands.

“stop irritating her. she might still have swelling.”

killua looks at her cheek. “it’s shaped like a leaf.”

“i know.”

“i’m just saying.”

“you’ve said...”

knuckle and shoot arrive several minutes later in a small association vehicle.

knuckle gets out first.

“woah… what happened?”

killua is standing beneath the tap with wet, flattened hair and one bare foot. he does not look at knuckle.

“the road was bad.”

knuckle looks toward the road.

then at the muddy van.

then back at killua.

“did the road throw you?”

killua’s head turns.

shoot gets out more slowly. “knuckle.”

“i’m asking.”

anera steps out of the bathroom.

knuckle sees her cheek.

his expression changes.

he looks at shoot.

shoot looks down at the route documents.

anera points between them. “what was that?”

shoot answers carefully. “nothing.”

“you looked at him.”

“i was going to ask whether he brought the revised map.”

knuckle is biting the inside of his cheek.

anera sees it. “this is your road.”

“i didn’t make it!”

“you recommended it.”

“shoot said it was usable.”

shoot finally looks up. “i said it was usable in dry weather.”

everybody turns toward knuckle.

knuckle pauses. “oh, yeah. i may have forgotten that part.”

killua takes one slow step toward him.

knuckle steps backward.

“hey, hey, you’re fine. it’s just mud!”

killua’s wet shoe slaps against the pavement.

anera makes a sudden noise from behind him.

killua stops and turns.

she covers her mouth.

“sorry.”

“you’re not.”

“no, i really am.”

“you laughed before apologizing.”

“because it made the sound again.”

kurapika is at the bonnet of the van trying to salvage the original route permit. one corner has been soaked through, and the estate seal is beginning to blur.

leorio walks over, assesses the paper, then opens his luggage.

he removes a small travel iron.

everybody looks at it.

killua glances from the iron to leorio.

“why do you have that?”

“because some of us care what our clothes look like.”

anera looks at his suit. “you brought a travel iron on a plant mission?”

“and now it’s saving the permit.”

leorio connects it to an extension cord from the station, places a clean towel over the document, and begins pressing the paper flat on the bonnet.

gon watches with complete interest.

“it’s like medical treatment.”

“for paper…” anera adds.

killua, still washing mud from his shoe, says, “combat iron.”

leorio points the iron toward him. “laugh now. when kurapika’s documents are legible, you’re all thanking me.”

kurapika watches the estate seal reappear as the paper dries.

he is silent for a long second.

“thank you, leorio.”

leorio looks around triumphantly.

killua immediately says, “combat iron worked.”

leorio’s victory is ruined.

while they inspect the tyre, gon reaches into his backpack and removes a smooth stone.

anera recognises it.

“you still have that?”

gon nods. “it’s from whale island.”

“you packed a rock?”

“i like it.”

he places it behind the raised tyre.

it fits perfectly beneath the wheel and prevents the van from rolling while killua checks the axle.

kurapika looks at the rock.

then at the travel iron.

then at the group.

“the two most useful objects at this stop were apparently an iron and a stone.”

leorio raises one finger. “my iron.”

gon raises the rock.

“and my rock.”

kurapika closes his eyes briefly. “yes. thank you both.”

anera snorts. "this is shameful."

killua snickers at her comment

the rest of the drive does not improve

they buy replacement food because the cooler was knocked open during the roadside encounter.

gon returns with fruit, bread, jerky, and a bag of something nobody remembers approving.

anera gets extra fruit for herself (deliberately consisting of mangoes, strawberries, cherries, and peaches), gets candy, chips, popcorn, beef jerky, turkey jerkey, a bag of shitty chocolates, and replaces her iced coffee, but this time she wedges it between both hands whenever the van moves.

killua buys clean socks.

he places them on the counter with a pack of candy and refuses to make eye contact with anybody.

anera looks at the socks.

“don’t.”

“i didn’t say anything.”

“you looked.”

“i’m allowed to look at socks.”

“not like that.”

"real descriptive, dumbass"

leorio buys another energy drink.

kurapika sees it. “you’ve had two.”

“today has been too long.”

“excess caffeine will not improve your judgment.”

“neither did sleep, apparently.”

they get back into the van.

anera takes control of the music because everyone agrees leorio’s playlist would constitute additional hardship.

she scrolls through her road-trip folder.

killua looks over.

“why are there twelve?”

“they’re different.”

“one says ‘road trip but actually better.’”

“that’s a revised one.”

“then what’s ‘road trip but better’?”

“the first revision.”

leorio looks backward from the passenger seat. “why didn’t you delete it?”

“because there are songs on there i still like.”

“move them or something”

anera looks at him as though he has proposed dismantling the internet.

“that ruins the history.”

killua points toward the phone. “what history? you made it three months ago.”

“your point?”

she eventually selects a bright daytime playlist and puts on something with enough rhythm to keep the vehicle awake without making kurapika’s eye twitch.

gon begins tapping his fingers against his knee.

leorio survives two songs before nodding subtly to one.

anera sees it in the rearview mirror.

“you like this.”

leorio stops moving.

“no, i don’t.”

“your hand did.”

“the road’s uneven.”

killua looks through the window. “it’s smooth.”

“nobody asked you.”

“you blamed the road.”

anera leans forward between the seats. “it’s okay to admit my playlist’s good.”

“i said the songs were fine.”

“you didn’t say that either.”

“then stop putting words in my mouth.”

“i’ll put this dih in your—um.”

“yeah? continue.”

“shut up. i’m putting music in the van because you failed.”

kurapika lowers the volume himself.

everybody immediately settles.

later, while they are stopped waiting for another road clearance, anera puts one earbud in and leans against the window.

killua notices which song is playing from the title on her screen.

“you always play that.”

anera turns slowly.

“how do you know?”

killua looks at the phone.

then at her.

“because you overplay it.”

“so you listen.”

“we’re in the same room.”

“you know the first three seconds.”

“because it’s annoying.”

anera offers him the other earbud.

killua stares at it.

“you want to hear the annoying song?”

“i already hear it.”

he takes the earbud anyway.

neither of them comments on it.

ten minutes later, gon leans over the seat.

“is that the cow song?”

anera removes one earbud. “what?”

“the one from when we passed the cows.”

killua looks at him. “that narrows it down.”

gon hums an inaccurate fragment.

anera immediately knows which song he means.

she changes it.

killua looks from her to gon.

“how did you get that?”

“i know him.”

gon smiles. “see?”

morel finally replies to kurapika’s message about the van.

his response reads: never did that before.

killua reads it twice.

“give me the phone.”

kurapika moves it out of reach. “no.”

“i want to answer.”

“that is why i said no.”

“tell him his van tried to bury us.”

“the van did not cause the root.”

“it brought us to the root.”

leorio turns around. “the road brought us to the root.”

killua looks at him. “you brought us to the road.”

leorio faces forward again.

the delay forces them into a motel for the night.

the room has two beds, one stained armchair, and a ceiling fan that squeaks once every seven rotations.

gon counts.

“there.”

squeak.

“seven.”

anera is lying across one bed with an ice pack against her cheek. “please stop tracking it.”

“i’m not doing it on purpose.”

squeak.

killua is near the bathroom drying his hair with a towel. “it’s actually every six.”

gon sits up. “no, it’s seven.”

anera interjects. "does it matter if it's six or seven??"

"yes!" killua and gon say at the same time.

they both start counting.

leorio turns on music from his phone while unpacking.

kurapika is seated at the small desk reviewing the transfer papers.

after less than one minute, he stands, walks across the room, lowers leorio’s volume, and returns to the desk.

leorio watches him.

“you could’ve asked.”

kurapika turns one page.

“i could have.”

nobody increases it again.

reaching the estate

by the time they reach dorian salka’s estate the following afternoon, everybody has regained enough dignity to look approximately professional from a distance.

killua’s hair is clean again, although one shoe is still darker.

anera’s swelling has reduced, but a faint yellow outline remains across her cheek.

gon has eaten most of the fruit.

leorio has ironed his suit at the motel and is unbearably pleased with himself.

kurapika is functioning on discipline alone.

dorian’s nephew, reno, meets them outside the main greenhouse. he looks tired, genuinely relieved, and far too young to be managing the legal aftermath of a hunter’s estate.

“thank you for coming. i know the road—”

killua looks at him.

reno stops.

“—can be difficult.”

anera presses her lips together, killua notices without looking at her.

reno looks between them.

kurapika steps forward before questions begin. “we need to verify the transfer seals before moving the orchid.”

the estate manager appears several moments later with four guards.

anera notices the issue almost immediately.

the guards are dressed correctly, but they do not move like estate security.

one watches the van instead of kurapika, another has dirt on his boots but none beneath his fingernails, a third keeps his weight balanced too carefully for someone supposedly bored by administrative work. anera continues speaking to reno without breaking rhythm.

“which entrance do the greenhouse workers normally use?”

“the east corridor.”

“and the guards?”

“usually the same one.”

“usually?”

reno glances at the manager. “there were replacements this morning.”

anera smiles politely, but her stance shifts half a step.

killua catches the movement.

his attention moves to the same guards.

kurapika sees both of them change and adjusts instantly.

instead of carrying the orchid transport base into the western greenhouse as the manager requests, he asks to inspect the security logs in the entrance hall first.

the manager’s smile tightens.

anera notices.

the ambush has not begun yet, but its shape is already visible.

that few-second warning prevents the nephew, the documents, and the orchid from being trapped in the same location when the doors close.

and then gon becomes a flowerpot

while kurapika examines the transfer seals, gon hears scratching from inside an enormous decorative planter beside the greenhouse wall.

the planter is almost as wide as his shoulders, painted with vines and small blue birds, and clearly expensive enough that leorio tells him not to touch it before he even moves.

gon crouches beside it.

“there’s something inside.”

leorio looks over from the orchid. “a plant?”

“no.”

“it’s a flowerpot.”

“there’s an animal under the ledge.”

anera is speaking quietly with one of the real gardeners. “gon, don’t put your hand somewhere you can’t see.”

gon already has one arm inside.

“wait i can almost reach it.”

killua is inspecting the western windows. “that sentence always ends badly.”

something scratches against metal inside the planter.

gon leans farther over.

“it has a key.”

kurapika looks up from the paperwork. “the greenhouse key?”

“maybe.”

the messenger beast inside suddenly jumps.

gon jerks in surprise.

his shoulders slip through the broad opening.

then reach the narrower neck beneath it.

clonk

everyone turns.

gon’s head and upper shoulders have disappeared inside the planter.

his arms hang at either side.

his body remains bent over the stone ledge at an awkward angle.

the little messenger beast climbs from the opposite side, runs down gon’s back, and lands beside the planter holding a brass key in its mouth.

silence.

gon’s muffled voice echoes from inside.

“i found it.”

anera turns away immediately.

killua walks over and looks at the planter.

“gon.”

“yeah?”

“where’s your head?”

“in here.”

killua looks at anera.

she has one hand over her sore cheek, shoulders shaking.

“good,” killua says. “just checking.”

leorio hurries over and grips gon’s shoulders. “can you breathe?”

“yeah.”

“does your neck hurt?”

“no.”

“then don’t move.”

gon turns toward leorio’s voice.

the entire planter rotates with him.

scrrrrrape.

leorio’s eyes widen. “i said don’t move.”

“sorry.”

killua speaks from the other side. “can you hear normally?”

gon rotates toward him.

scrrrrrape.

“better, actually.”

“stop following our voices.”

“i can’t see where you are.”

anera crouches in front of the painted pot and waves three fingers.

“how many fingers?”

leorio looks at her. “are you serious?”

gon pauses.

“three?”

anera falls backward against the wall.

killua stares at the planter. “why would you answer?”

“i thought i could sense it.”

kurapika walks over, places both hands on the sides of the pot, and physically holds it still.

“do not encourage him to develop flowerpot-based extrasensory perception.”

the estate manager is standing several feet away, watching all of this.

kurapika turns toward him without releasing the planter.

“the security logs.”

the manager glances at gon.

“is he—”

“he is breathing.”

gon’s voice echoes inside. “and i found the key.”

kurapika pauses.

“he is also marginally relevant. the logs.”

and then the greenhouse ambush starts and yes, they use nen

the false guards move while leorio and killua are still applying oil around the planter’s rim.

the western doors slam shut, metal shutters fall across two greenhouse exits. beneath the floor, a vibration device activates with a low mechanical hum.

the orchid’s petals loosen.

leorio looks toward the pollen card. “everybody lower your aura.”

three poachers enter through the service corridor, but they stop because the elite hunter team waiting for them consists of:

kurapika holding legal documents in one hand and the side of a flowerpot in the other, killua with a faint shit-like stain still visible around one shoe, anera with a fading leaf print across her cheek, and leorio kneeling beside an orchid. oh, and gon wearing furniture.

one poacher looks at gon. he hears the shift in breathing and turns the blank painted side of the planter toward him.

scrrrrrape.

the man takes one involuntary step backward.

gon’s voice echoes out.

“are you one of the guards?”

nobody answers... he follows with: "your footsteps changed."

the attacker lunges and everything begins at once

gon ducks the first strike based entirely on the sound of displaced air; the man leaves the ground and crashes into an empty display table

OK WAIT. for some reason it's not letting me write more than this, so if you guys fw ts, lmk and i'll make the part 2!!! i missed y'all

do y'all fw ts?

hell yeah twin i fw ts!! imma need that part 2 now

yo kys ts sucks fat dih😂✌ ur also GAY

Voting ended onJul 12

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