[renskylo-deactivated20211212]

[sexxaesthetics]

you know what’s hot?

open and honest communication, genuine effort to understand someone else’s perspective, love and affection,

[mwg-drwg]

They deserve more respect from the general public…

[gnarlykickflip]

who?

[mwg-drwg]

The retail worker reading this

[rrozeselavy-deactivated-deactiv]

so the thing about my family is that we have two ancestors on my dad’s side who were buried in france, where I currently live. one died in the spanish civil war, and one died prior doing…we don’t know what. but he somehow managed to get buried in père lachaise. 

so anyhow, my gran sends me a message like “pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already” because my family spends time in europe but never long enough to go all the way to père lachaise and give ya boy samuel jr. his death rites. so im like “ok gran I can do that” bc im a good grandson and you do not fuck with gran she doesn’t DESERVE THAT 

i figure out which plot he’s on and ask someone specifically where you can find uncle samuel jr. and they tell me where and so I arrive at the junction and. 

HE GONE. 

WHERE DID YOU GO UNCLE SAMUEL. 

*celine dion’s smash hit “my heart will go on” playing in the distance* 

in other words either someone stole my entire great great uncle samuel or he has risen again, ready to party in paris for all of eternity. 

[palindrome-mystery]

You’re pretty chill about a corpse disappearing.

[rrozeselavy-deactivated-deactiv]

My guy, my dude, he’s been dead since 1851. He could be anywhere. He does what he wants.

[indecisive-indica]

@tinkabear7

[poeticsuggestion]

I hope you’re thinking about me

[indi-element]

What's wrong?

everything bitch don’t act stupid

[bob-belcher]

[roseys-deactivated20181203]

let love in

[crrocs]

i love it when people compliment my pets 

[crrocs]

compliment her 

[dabbingdeku]

She looks pretty dead

[crrocs]

thanks

[indecisive-indica]

@tinkabear7

[tasteheavenperfectly]

imagine being stuck in a room surrounded by everyone you’ve ever had sex with

[heysammy-blog]

 #empty chairs at empty tables

[zaynxlvarchive]

imagine being stuck in a room surrounded by everyone you’ve ever thought about having sex with

[mrgoldenfold-deactivated2016032]

oh god NO

[newyorktittie-deactivated201511]

oh god YES

[solitarylikeme]

Imagine your cousin sitting there wondering what he has in common with these people

[bannerinthevalley]

what

[tombstonetrash]

what

[daddy-frnk-deactivated20150108]

what

[sangoireseussian]

[eroscestlavie]

who else here cant wait to be gay married 

[debrides]

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

[lesbirdan]

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

[hermionegranger]

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

[mugsandpugs1-deactivated2019010]

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

[thomrainierskies]

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

[mirab3lle]

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

[icouldwritebooks]

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

[crimeronan]

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

[agrestenoir]

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

[gin-and-eschatonic]

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

[harold-theyre-thespians]

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

[narwhalsarefalling]

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

[wren-likethe-bird]

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

[spoopsheepy]

Sometimes I answer my cell phone with “thank you for choosing Taco Time, what can I get started for you?” And inevitably there’s a dead silence for a moment where the person calculates what happened and I prepare to get laughed at.

I was also answering the phone at the bank once and got as far as “Thank you for calling po-… (bank name).” They realized I was about to fuck it up and I didn’t have the balls to admit I was about to welcome them to pokemon. I was thinking about other things. I still don’t know what happened.

[indecisive-indica]

The movie theater i work at participates in a charity event where people donate money to play putt putt and win our old posters and signs and during the summer i worked like 5 days a wek saying to every customer " heyy!! Welcome to Regal! Would you like to play putt putt for charity!" And so one day i answered a phone call and said just that

I panicked and hung up and all my coworkers laughed at me

[shwagerr]

petting a dog and it goes to someone else

[fuks]

[salty-red-mage]

[hanitje]

A lot of people already condemn and calling this teacher a bitch/monster on the comment/reblog, not knowing the whole story. It was actually the TEACHER who drew the beautiful art on the blackboard, and the teacher is a HE, he’s an accomplished artist who was trying to teach his students about the beauty of art and however changing it is. He will draw any arts by request from his students, the students will take some pictures, and then he erases it from the board, and make new ones. He’s not a monster. He’s actually trying to spark the students’ interest in art. Funny how a simple pic without context enrages people - and the people refusing to look beyond the story.

You can follow his artworks on Twitter @hamacream where he always posts/tweet his arts.

Here are some samples of his artwork:

[jessadamsdraws]

It’s awsome I wish I had a teacher like that

[helthehatter]

Thank you for the context I feel much better now.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Even the game Monopoly has a Universal Basic Income.

[srkajol-pics]

[un-supersizeme]

Reblog this if you're a fitblr with a SW over 200 lbs and you are still in the middle of your journey. I love following inspirational people who have done it, but I want to help and be helped by those still doing it.