☕️

[infectedvmpire]

emery (nicknames are fine) minor (17) questioning gender ??? , demiromantic + omnisexual (pref for nb + masc folks). masc prns for now.

interests ; bungo stray dogs , the walking dead, alien-stage , all for the game, etc etc. more on my strawpage down below.

byi/ byf ; i have bad coping mechanisms and i talk about them a lot ( ed / sh ), i also talk about my trauma - in short this will be my diary. i have a very disorganized mind + attachment style thats prevalent in relationships - i also have intense mood swings. feel free to flirt as I do not take it literal.

if you’d like to pursue, please tell me. alongside that - i am yan4yan

this blog is jirai , yan , and shed centered at times.

(im not new to either sides of tumblr!) ..

i block freely , i have a pretty basic dni - but if you’re outright weird to me ,, i will block !

tags ;

#em-bunnie ; general posts

#frowny-bunnie ; sad / vent posts

#silly-bunnie ; responding to anons

#flustered-bunnie ; slight n/sfw mentions or reblogs .. (I wouldn’t freak out on my main blog !! >< )

sweeterthananyvalentinerose's strawpage

[infectedvmpire]

Goodnight to all my mutuals and followers! May you all rest well and have a great night!

I’m always open for asks from others!

[infectedvmpire]

Man. I only work three days a week but even then it’s so draining..especially since I work with youth.

Today was definitely a day where my patience was not in order, but I had to hold composure.

Nothing a little retail therapy can do, hopefully this weekend!

Tomorrow, I just have a lot of cleaning and other side stuff to work on.

[maladaptiveangelx]

Being called cute names like darling, poor thing, love, angel, good girl/boy, doll, sweetheart and what ever else… with ‘my’ in front of it, is my weakness.

[angelicdev0tion]

"you attract what you fear"

ohhh noooo mutual obsession..oh noo a clingy, obsessive and devoted partner..I'm so scared..

[infectedvmpire]

I have a concerning biting problem. I like to bite myself and I just like to tell people I’ll bite them.

[infectedvmpire]

I hate remembering shit oh my god !!!!! Can my mind ever shut up!!!!

I don’t wanna remember the pathetic moments where I begged my biological mother to not leave me!! Or when she fed us mold. Just stop it already!!! Just wipe my memory of those godforsaken years of pathetic begging and sadness

I hate this. I hate this!!!

[infectedvmpire]

CW !!! : ideation of certain activities / intrusive thoughts

I keep having the thought of slamming my face against the hot stove and letting my face melt.

It’s like big whisper in my head and it’s pissing me off!!!!

the only thing that’ll distract- will be sleep i suppose.

[needy-entity]

I want a vampire to turn me into a vampire, wouldn't that be so romantic ?

Just you and I till forever ^^

[infectedvmpire]

Growing up, my viewpoint of love was skewed - even to this very day.

My parents (before they were divorced) constantly fought, there was always tension and hatred in our house. So I thought that is what love was. Harsh and Venomous.

But as I got to be on the Internet and being in online relationship with people that .. weren’t there for love and wanted more physical needs met.

I came to the conclusion that love is transactional - I did something for you and you do something for me. It’s simply no less than that in my head.

Now is there genuine love that I have yet to receive or discover, potentially. My opinion of love is ever-evolving.

[infectedvmpire]

Trying to get into typology is SO HARD cause i feel like i don’t know myself AT ALLL!!!! agh i might just need to reevaluate my mbti for this.

If anybody is knowledgeable in typology…please help me…

[infectedvmpire]

goodnight sweeties .. may you all have a fulfilling nights of rest with peaceful dreams!

i will answer any given questions in my asks in the morning or during my break!

[infectedvmpire]

“eeeyuck youre into praise?”

it’s obvious my parents did not love me, there’s FAR MORE that im into - you only know ONE thing bro.

[infectedvmpire]

i think this upcoming friday,. i may drink one of my parents seltzer drinks - they have a ton so they won’t notice one gone!

[infectedvmpire]

wwaaahh !!!! 21 followers!! im beyond grateful for such a goal.

much thanks to all 21 of you, i highly appreciate you being here and simply liking or viewing my posts! it means so much.

my biggest goal would be to get to 50 followers by the end of summer .. i hope .. but if not I’ll be more than happy with 21!

[infectedvmpire]

I’d like to share another story about this recent ex of mine.

we came to know each-other cause we have many mutual friends, so one of his band mates - cause he was also in a band - gave the instagram and boom we start talking around October / November.

We decided to have a “double date” in December - thats when he popped the question. I only knew him for at max 2 months.

I simply can’t know a person in two months but I didn’t wanna be an asshole so I told him I’d love to be his partner.

We didn’t even last a year and a half - cause again, I didn’t know him and he didn’t know me. I mean sure we talked a lot - but I need at minimum of 6 months of me knowing an individual to really have a sense of who they are.

Even my parents said that they didn’t know if I even liked him!

I may rant some more tomorrow about my ex just a little more.

[infectedvmpire]

personally, I don’t find the idea of calling your partner - “mommy” or “daddy” .. not trying to yuck anybody’s yum, just my preference.

like my recent ex boyfriend, at any given moment whenever we were..in a suggestive time of day - he’d always call me mommy. at first I was like “okay this digs!” to the point I was like “can this dude shut up.”

i like other terms of endearment but i definitely suffered in some ways in the last relationship.

if you’d like some stories of my frustration throughout this 5 month ordeal - im more than willing to share.