The types I know in real life - as an INFJ
The ISFJ father. Growing up, he was a bit of a micro-manager, and both of us were so stubborn that our J clashed pretty hard, especially when he pushed me to complete scholarships and laborious things that would benefit my future. He ALWAYS wanted to do some activity together (sports, outings, family gatherings, etc), and in my teen years, I just valued creative, independent pursuits (he didn’t understand the value in those hobbies at the time - now he’s my cheerleader). Since graduating college, we’ve become good friends, although he still over-does and over-plans everything. We share similar values regarding our interpersonal relationships and work, as well as a similar sense of humor, and I can get that intuitive conversation out of him by asking him to tell me stories about his childhood. He’s a fantastic storyteller.
The INFP mother. My mother is a kind (but anxious) woman and a fantastic role model. She’s super creative, but also incredibly introverted. I remember she’d often tell me to find a way to entertain myself growing up (probably driven mad by my intuitive inquisitions), and that led me to many of my independent hobbies, like drawing, music, and film. (And possibly resulted in a love language of quality time, lol I love attention). As an adult, I can now claim her as my best friend. We can talk for hours about the abstract, ideals, and emotions. I tease her constantly, and we laugh ourselves to tears.
The ENFJ sister. Confident, idealistic, and a blogger type. We don’t get along very well, but I blame it on her not being a very matured or healthy ENFJ (and she’s been diagnosed with OCD, so there’s that). When she’s in a positive place, we joke that we have ESP because we always have similar thoughts / reactions to interactions (Ni) and we both enjoy a lot of the same hobbies and creative pursuits, but we value those experiences differently. For example, she loves movies for the emotions and her ability to relate to the characters, while I love them for the storytelling, the script, the cinematography, the character arcs, etc. She loves people and organizing parties / social events. She’s also that person on Instagram sharing all the inspirational quotes.
The ISFP boyfriend. Charming, easygoing, and well-rounded. Appears as an extrovert to an outsider, but in reality, he just enjoys activities that engage the five senses and his close circle of friends. He’s the absolute best at living in the moment, and he knows how to pull me back to earth and to see the more rational, objective side of things. Loves working with his hands, and has about 3 million hobbies, from skiing to biking to working on cars to making music to photography. Sensitive to criticism, but loves playing the devil’s advocate. Sometimes he can be incredibly impulsive, and other times, he’s hesitant to commit to future plans or big decisions (depends on what his Fi is telling him). Values authenticity and independence above anything else. Very capable of deep and stimulating conversation, but does better on lower rungs of the abstract ladder that are rooted in science, physics, conspiracy theories, politics, or something he can contribute facts and real world experience to. Dislikes conflict and being put in a box. Other than the INFP, the only other type who does not drain my energy tank. I’m confident that we’ll be lifelong friends and soulmates, come what may.
The INFP friend. We clicked instantly while studying abroad, and we were able to talk for hours about anything and everything, while respecting one another’s feelings. Super easygoing. He’s one of the best listeners I’ve ever met, and he always asks me questions that feed the conversation. Musically inclined, authentic, and frustratingly neutral about some of the topics I care about so passionately. He’s also one of the most aloof people I know -- and he absolutely sucks at communication. But even though I haven’t talked to him in 7 months, I still consider him one of my platonic soulmates.
The ENFP bff. Another soulmate. A total goofball, selfish at times, but also a martyr when it comes to those she loves. She’s one of the few people who have truly attempted to understand everything about me and pry me open -- almost to the point that it’s uncomfortable. Loves talking about emotions (extensively). Judges people based on their zodiac sign, but she’s also incredibly insightful, perceptive, and “street” wise (she learns a LOT from her experiences / mistakes). She can be flighty though, and her goals change as swiftly as her attention span. Gotta love her.
The ENTP bff. A witty friend who will always offer me a stimulating conversation - whether it’s teaching me about historical fashion or exposing me to new concepts and ideas and political theories. We can talk for three hours straight, but by then I’m incredibly brain-fried (and she could just keep going?!). Up for a good natured debate whenever - less good natured when someone pisses her off. I’m fairly certain I’m the only person she is completely honest with about her feelings (she struggles SO hard to open up). She loves to travel and experience new things, as well as host parties and game nights. She’s both a planner and a completely "in the spur of the moment” human being. Hates willful ignorance and stupidity, and does not care about keeping the peace. I disliked her at first for her bluntness and arrogance, but now I love her to pieces. Soulmate, for sure.
INTJ friend (long distance). Very, very prickly to others, but warmed up to me instantly. Arrogant, albeit extremely logical and intelligent. Loves memes, biology, and good television. Adores her girlfriend and gushes about her often (one of the rare instances where she’s a total fluff ball). Kind of a dick, but also very funny and 100% there for companionable silence or intellectual conversation. Enjoys being in a group of outcasts and detests most people. We had a lot of weird things in common and joked about being long lost sisters, and I valued her promptness / dependability! Her negativity kind of wore me out though (we were studying abroad, and she was homesick for most of it).
The ENTJ boss. I no longer work for her, but man, what a powerhouse. Direct and blunt to a fault, but incredibly motivated and ambitious. Will get things done, no matter what. Big idea woman, not so great with the details and how her plans will actually (realistically) be implemented. SO, so organized and anal, and yet somehow kind of a mess. Surprises me when she’s emotionally vulnerable because she’s incredibly intimidating and intense. Loves hosting parties and cooking for her coworkers / neighbors. Those who are close to her know she has a good heart, but she can seem like a total b** to an outsider.
ISTP coworker. She’s good at multitasking, and yet she runs late constantly. Intelligent in the way she asks questions for clarity and a better understanding of a concept. Calm, collected, and logical. Creative and impressive in her projects (home remodel, upcycling crafts, etc). Conversation is a bit surface-level at times and mostly centers around her day to day life experiences or family drama. She’ll often ask me about my life and then tune me out because she quickly grows bored, as do many other sensors, rip T_T. We’re a good team, though.
These are my personal experiences with / observations of particular individuals whose type I’m confident about, but they do not represent everyone of the same type. If anything, I think this goes to show the range of personalities within a function stack.
