Gabe's Thoughts

It'll all about my thoughts.. Feel free to read and comment on anything you'd like... Follow my main blog too @ gcnyproductions.tumblr.com

[ingabesmind]

Where do you draw the line between being a good friend/lover and being used?

I think the lines are blurred more often than not. There should be a limit..

[ingabesmind]

Taking Things One Step At A Time

I haven't done one of these in a long time. 7 years to be exact. Those 7 years have put me through some insane ups and downs. Through it all, I've found myself trying to get back into it.

I had so many reasons why I stopped. I got married. I moved to 3 different states and went on 2 deployments overseas. I met tons of great people and lots of menaces. I bought a house. I bought a really nice car and ended up crashing it. I made the decision to get divorced. I've gotten myself to think about dating again. All of these are stories I'll be getting to write about over time. I'm just getting my feet wet right now.

Honestly, between bouts of loneliness and stressors that I personally cause, my life's just in a weird place right now. The more I think about it, the more I realize that it's probably just me but I've decided to write about it to help organize all my thoughts.

This is more for me than for you guys but it’s good to be back.

[ingabesmind]

Steph and Ryan's wedding back in September

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Trip to the west coast back in July

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Homemade by my gf and I

[ingabesmind]

Home For Christmas

Will be updating a little since I finally have time

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.

Thich Nhat Hanh (via psych-facts)

[ingabesmind]

So yeah, this happened

[brittnyamanda-blog]

If I listen closely enough, I hear see feel breathe every part of you that reminded me of God. And I need that back, again. 

[ingabesmind]

Gyason and Chelsi performing for an anniversary

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Time with family, friends and my city.. Wish I had more time but I’ll be back soon

[ingabesmind]

The first few days back home were great.. I flew back into the city, went to church, saw so many people.. It was rough getting back into the way people did things back home. But I missed home so much.

[ingabesmind]

Could use another day doing this

[ingabesmind]

Things are going smoothly here

.. I don't know why but this is clicking better than I expected.

[ingabesmind]

Ran 7 miles

It put my mind at ease. I've grown to love running

[ingabesmind]

"I'm not accepting the L. Too stubborn for that.. But I hate the possibility of it happening.. I have no control in this. I can only wait"

I look at this statement I made yesterday and I realize how naive I sound... We've been through this many times before. I continue to keep myself available, but nothing has ever truly gone my way. The issue isn't that I may be accepting a loss in my endeavors, I've only been trying for a year and a half.

I don't know how I should feel. A part of me wants to wait and see what happens. Another part of me is fed up with sticking around like I normally do, I've already denied others because I am "in love" with this girl. I understand circumstances have changed over this period of time but I feel like I'm wasting my time.There are many people to meet and learn to love. I understand she wants to be happy but I need to take care of my own also.

She should just let me go do what I want if she's always preparing for not having me, I don't want to hear the "I appreciate you"s or "I want us to have our chance".. 

I'm ready to leave as much as I'm willing to hold on tight. It's too conflicting. My heart and mind need a break from this constant back and forth. I don't want to lose her, but for my well being, I may need to pull away.

Just a thought as the days go by

[ingabesmind]

Those three are still the only ones I have seen any potential in.