Bits of Life, Death, & in between

Just whatever I feel like posting

[inkandredstains]

ABOUT ME!!!

I’m a 18-year-old art student (although not in school right now)

you might call me Ray/Rodri!

I speak Spanish and English, and live in my little beautiful heaven, Uruguay!

I'm a trans male, as gay as can be, and proud of it! I use he/it/they pronouns

I’m into a lot of stuff: DC comics, metal family, emo culture, horror movies (though I hate body horror)

MCR, PTV, SOAD BMTH, Nirvana, Green Day, Paramore, P!atd FOB, FIR etc :3

My current hyperfixation changes around once a day at this point lol

I’m really slow at social cues, so tone indicators are appreciated!

DNI (Do not interact) if:

you’re racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, etc. 

you support pedophilia/MAPs, zoophilia, incest, etc.

you’re here to start drama/troll

you don’t respect pronouns/identities

anti-recovery/“thinspo” accounts

overly NSFW accounts

any politics (I just dont get it with my dumb dog brain)

people who steal art/writing

people who are in favor of AI for generative purposes

I might and probably will write about my feelings, including heavy stuff that can trigger people (SH, Suicidal ideation, gore and cannibalism) so if you don’t like my content, please don’t report it, I won’t get mad if you block me, you’re not obligated to read about me, I get how things can trigger certain people, I’m sorry in advance if I cause any discomfort

[inkandredstains]

yes mom, no matter how red and glossy my eyes are, it's not because I'm tired or crying, it's because I need you to yell at me to do better and "be a good person" and take my spot in the student guild as an "excuse to skip class" while I'm fighting for student rights, it's not that you keep calling her name, it's that I hate you, of course, it's not that you keep imy dysphoria stupid, it's that I want an excuse to make you waste money on me

it's not that I'm struggling, it's that I want to make your life hell, of course

[sickfrr]

Coping? nah I’m raw dogging life with untreated mental illness

[sunnystheangel]

BREAKING VERY IMPORTANT NEWS:

Boy HURTS HIMSELF and cries because it HURTS?!

[inkandredstains]

it's like, I want it to hurt, but in a very specific way, I hate the sharp sting, but the dull pain that comes with a thick enough cut? that's heaven

[inkandredstains]

Daily routine!!!!

wake up, go to school, sit and rot on my computer for hours until my eyes are sore, cut, sleep, wake up, go to school, sit and rot on my computer for hours until my eyes are sore, cut, sleep, wake up, go to school, sit and rot on my computer for hours until my eyes are sore, cut, sleep, wake up, go to school, sit and rot on my computer for hours until my eyes are sore, cut, sleep, wake up, go to school, sit and rot on my computer for hours until my eyes are sore, cut, sleep, wake up, go to school, sit and rot on my computer for hours until my eyes are sore, cut, sleep, wake up, go to school, sit and rot on my computer for hours until my eyes are sore, cut, sleep, wake up, go to school, sit and rot on my computer for hours until my eyes are sore, cut, sleep, wake up, go to school, sit and rot on my computer for hours until my eyes are sore, cut, sleep, wake up, go to school, sit and rot on my computer for hours until my eyes are sore, cut, sleep, wake up, go to school, sit and rot on my computer for hours until my eyes are sore, cut, sleep.

[zeta-finnish]

Straight up killing it. And by killing it? Well, let's just say... myself.

[inkandredstains]

so as it turns out, it doesn't matter what I write here, so why do I try and seem fine when I know I'm not?

everything is falling apart.

[inkandredstains]

what do normal people even do when they feel like a useless bag of crap, and a dull knife can't find their veins deep enough?

[hawlucha]

☀️Ancestor and descendant ☁️

[deceasedcardinal]

[blupeeblep]

Like to charge, reblog to cast

[inkandredstains]

My country is too pretty not to share >:3

Mi país es muy lindo como para no compartirlo >:3

[astr1dkat]

[toxxxic-opossum23]

I miss it take me back pls pls pls

[inkandredstains]

I haven't even lived it, but please.

[inkandredstains]

ART DUMP <3

I forgot about this account for a long while so to compensate, here's all the art I made on these couple of months!

[inkandredstains]

A birthday

So, happy birthday to me. I decided to write about myself, about how I’ve been feeling lately. I really like to write, and I haven’t done it publicly in a while.

My life has been a rollercoaster of emotions, going from crying myself to sleep, to sleeping peacefully and waking up energized. All it took was one crucial change that made me happier than ever.

I’m now 18. Older. An adult, as some would call me. But I don’t feel changed, not really, other than the growing dysphoria that never seems to leave, no matter how many layers, packers, or binders I wear.

Still, I know I’m capable of a lot especially living the way I want to live. Next year, I’ll go to my dream school. After that, college for a graphic design and visual communications degree. Then, I’ll make comics for a living, like I’ve dreamed of so many nights, and even days.

It’s been a month now since I last harmed myself. No cutting. No purging. No telling myself I’m worthless, cruel, or hateful, as I did for nearly a year.

Today, I become Rayne. Able to dream, to love, and to care like I always have, like I’ve always wanted.

[screenshotsofdespair]

[inkandredstains]

People will only care if they realize they can take back as much as they give.

Kindness is hypocritical.

Then let us be hypocrites one time.

And that way, treat eachother kindly once more.

I'm a hypocrite.

But I make them happy by it.

[onthelearningtongue]