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@inkeddaydream
Still with these puppy โโeyes?!?! Really?!
I can't survive this anymore.
PEDRO PASCAL in Tony Gilroy's 'Behemoth!'
DEFECTIVE ORDERS
A Clone Wars / Bad Batch โฆ Hunter Fanfiction
Wattpad Link: Defective Orders โฆ Hunter x OC โฆ Bad Batch
โThey called them defective. She knew what it felt like to be broken and still expected to fight.โ
โโโโ โก โฆ โก โโโโ
A few weeks before the fall of the Republic, Jedi Knight Vaela Rynn is assigned to accompany Clone Force 99 on a mission to Anaxes after losing nearly every clone under her command.
She expects soldiers.
She expects orders.
She expects another battlefield where grief has no place.
What she does not expect is Hunter โ sharp-eyed, stubborn, impossible to read, and far too good at noticing the things she tries to bury.
Clone Force 99 are unlike any squad she has ever served with. Reckless. Loud. Unpredictable. Defective, according to the Kaminoans.
But Vaela knows better than anyone that the Republic has a way of naming people by the things it does not understand.
As the war pushes toward its final days, Vaela finds herself caught between duty and doubt, loyalty and survival, and the dangerous pull of a man bred for battle who makes her feel seen in a galaxy already beginning to fracture.
Because Order 66 is coming.
And some orders were never meant to be followed.
โโโโ โก โฆ โก โโโโ
TROPES / VIBES
Clone Wars canon rewrite
Jedi OC x Hunter
Slow burn
Angst with comfort
Found family
Battlefield tension
Grief and healing
Forbidden feelings
โWho hurt you?โ energy
Protective Hunter
Jedi questioning the Republic
Canon-compliant pain
Bad Batch banter
One gold lightsaber
A girl trying not to fall apart in front of soldiers trained to notice everything
โโโโ โก โฆ โก โโโโ
MAIN PAIRING
Hunter x Vaela Rynn
He was made to track heartbeats.
Unfortunately, hers kept betraying her.
โโโโ โก โฆ โก โโโโ
OC INTRODUCTION
Vaela Rynn
Jedi Knight. Survivor. General, though the title feels more like a wound than an honour.
Vaela Rynn enters the story carrying the ghosts of the squad she lost on Anaxes. She is sharp when she needs to be, gentle when no one is looking, and far too used to standing alone in the aftermath of battle.
She wields a gold lightsaber, wears clone armour marked with rebellion before rebellion has a name, and has a scar through her eyebrow from a war that has taken more from her than she knows how to say.
Assigned to Clone Force 99, Vaela expects chaos.
She does not expect to find people who understand what it means to be treated like a mistake.
โโโโ โก โฆ โก โโโโ
QUOTE TEASERS
โYou donโt follow orders very well.โ
Hunter glanced at her, almost smiling.
โNeither do you, General.โ
โพ
โThey call you defective.โ
โThey call you peacekeepers,โ Crosshair muttered.
โGuess weโre all disappointments.โ
โพ
โI lost them,โ Vaela whispered.
Hunterโs voice softened. โNo. You survived them.โ
โพ
โWhen the order comes,โ Tech said carefully, โthe probability of survival decreases dramatically.โ
Vaela looked at the men around her.
โThen we donโt follow it.โ
โโโโ โก โฆ โก โโโโ
AUTHOR NOTE
This story follows the events of The Clone Wars Season 7 and moves into the chaos surrounding Order 66, with a Jedi OC woven into Clone Force 99โs story.
Expect angst, battlefield banter, slow-burn tension, emotional damage, and Hunter being painfully observant at the worst possible times.
Defective Orders is for the girls who love doomed timelines, found family squads, Jedi trauma, and clones who deserved better.
DEFECTIVE ORDERS
A Clone Wars / Bad Batch โฆ Hunter Fanfiction
Wattpad Link: Defective Orders โฆ Hunter x OC โฆ Bad Batch
โThey called them defective. She knew what it felt like to be broken and still expected to fight.โ
โโโโ โก โฆ โก โโโโ
A few weeks before the fall of the Republic, Jedi Knight Vaela Rynn is assigned to accompany Clone Force 99 on a mission to Anaxes after losing nearly every clone under her command.
She expects soldiers.
She expects orders.
She expects another battlefield where grief has no place.
What she does not expect is Hunter โ sharp-eyed, stubborn, impossible to read, and far too good at noticing the things she tries to bury.
Clone Force 99 are unlike any squad she has ever served with. Reckless. Loud. Unpredictable. Defective, according to the Kaminoans.
But Vaela knows better than anyone that the Republic has a way of naming people by the things it does not understand.
As the war pushes toward its final days, Vaela finds herself caught between duty and doubt, loyalty and survival, and the dangerous pull of a man bred for battle who makes her feel seen in a galaxy already beginning to fracture.
Because Order 66 is coming.
And some orders were never meant to be followed.
โโโโ โก โฆ โก โโโโ
TROPES / VIBES
Clone Wars canon rewrite
Jedi OC x Hunter
Slow burn
Angst with comfort
Found family
Battlefield tension
Grief and healing
Forbidden feelings
โWho hurt you?โ energy
Protective Hunter
Jedi questioning the Republic
Canon-compliant pain
Bad Batch banter
One gold lightsaber
A girl trying not to fall apart in front of soldiers trained to notice everything
โโโโ โก โฆ โก โโโโ
MAIN PAIRING
Hunter x Vaela Rynn
He was made to track heartbeats.
Unfortunately, hers kept betraying her.
โโโโ โก โฆ โก โโโโ
OC INTRODUCTION
Vaela Rynn
Jedi Knight. Survivor. General, though the title feels more like a wound than an honour.
Vaela Rynn enters the story carrying the ghosts of the squad she lost on Anaxes. She is sharp when she needs to be, gentle when no one is looking, and far too used to standing alone in the aftermath of battle.
She wields a gold lightsaber, wears clone armour marked with rebellion before rebellion has a name, and has a scar through her eyebrow from a war that has taken more from her than she knows how to say.
Assigned to Clone Force 99, Vaela expects chaos.
She does not expect to find people who understand what it means to be treated like a mistake.
โโโโ โก โฆ โก โโโโ
QUOTE TEASERS
โYou donโt follow orders very well.โ
Hunter glanced at her, almost smiling.
โNeither do you, General.โ
โพ
โThey call you defective.โ
โThey call you peacekeepers,โ Crosshair muttered.
โGuess weโre all disappointments.โ
โพ
โI lost them,โ Vaela whispered.
Hunterโs voice softened. โNo. You survived them.โ
โพ
โWhen the order comes,โ Tech said carefully, โthe probability of survival decreases dramatically.โ
Vaela looked at the men around her.
โThen we donโt follow it.โ
โโโโ โก โฆ โก โโโโ
AUTHOR NOTE
This story follows the events of The Clone Wars Season 7 and moves into the chaos surrounding Order 66, with a Jedi OC woven into Clone Force 99โs story.
Expect angst, battlefield banter, slow-burn tension, emotional damage, and Hunter being painfully observant at the worst possible times.
Defective Orders is for the girls who love doomed timelines, found family squads, Jedi trauma, and clones who deserved better.
blurred lines
series summary: you and harry had an agreement: no strings attached. purely sex. nothing serious. until he asked you to pretend to be his date and girlfriend to his parentsโ golden anniversary. lines start to get blurred when you spend an entire week with him and his family.ย
pairing: harry castillo x fem!reader series content warning(s): EXPLICIT CONTENT (18+ ONLY MDNI), friends with benefits, fake relationship trope, secretly in love, lots of smut y'all, slight age gap (implied but never specified), elements of angst and bad communication between reader & harry, no use of y/n. each chapter will have its own separate warnings! a/n: i didn't think i was going to write another multi-chaptered story, but this idea has been lingering in my mind for weeks and tbh i don't think i'm ready to say goodbye to writing harry anytime soon. anyway, this will be completely different than what i've written for him so far. i'm excited to explore a different side to this character after his breakup with lucy, so stay tuned and see y'all soon <3
Three Faces of Desire
Pairing: Marc Spector, Steven Grant, Jake Lockley x F!reader
Rating: 18+, smut warning
Summary: Marc, Steven, and Jake take turns with the reader in a single, intense encounter where their distinct personas switch control mid-sex, leaving the reader completely wrecked.
Warnings: Explicit sexual content, MDNI 18+, multiple personalities/DID (Marc Spector, Steven Grant, Jake Lockley), possessive language, rough sex, spanking, oral sex (receiving), domination/submission dynamics, praise and degradation, switching consciousness during intimacy, pinning/restraint, biting, implied choking (hair pulling/throat focus), internal ejaculation, overstimulation, first person POV reader-insert.
โโโโโโโโโโโโโ
The air in the apartment was still and cool, but it was about to be set ablaze. You were curled on the large, low sofa, a book forgotten in your lap, when you felt the shift. It wasnโt a sound, but a change in pressure, a focusing of energy. You looked up to see Marc Specter leaning in the doorway to the bedroom, his arms crossed over his broad chest. The usual storm in his dark eyes was a calm, intent heat.
โYou coming?โ he asked, his voice a low rumble. It wasnโt really a question.
Your pulse kicked up a notch. Thisโthis thing with themโwas still new, terrifying, and utterly intoxicating. You nodded, setting the book aside, your movements slightly shaky.
As you stood, you saw the subtle flicker in his posture. The aggressive set of his shoulders softened, and a hand came up to run through his hair in a gesture that was distinctlyโฆ not Marc.
โOh, Iโm sorry, was that a bit forward?โ Steven Grantโs softer, British tones emerged from Marcโs mouth. He looked genuinely concerned, stepping into the room. โI justโฆ weโve been thinking about you all day. Well, I have. The othersโฆ they have their own ways of thinking.โ He gave you a shy, crooked smile and offered a hand. โShall we?โ
You took his hand, and he led you to the bedroom. It was Steven who kissed you first, deep and exploring, his hands cradling your face with a tenderness that made your knees weak. He guided you back onto the bed, his lips tracing the line of your jaw, down your throat. โI want to savor you,โ he whispered against your skin, his fingers deftly working the buttons of your shirt. โEvery inch. Every sigh.
He had your shirt open, your bra unfastened with a surprising delicacy, when his rhythm faltered. His kisses, which had been slow and worshipful, grew suddenly hungry, more insistent. The hands on your skin tightened.
โEnough foreplay, English,โ Marcโs gruff voice cut through the quiet, though the face was still Stevenโs. โSheโs not made of china.โ In one fluid, powerful motion, he rolled you beneath him, pinning your wrists above your head with one large hand. The look in his eyes was pure Specter: possessive, dark, and hungry. He claimed your mouth in a searing kiss that was all conquering force, his free hand pushing your clothes the rest of the way off with impatient tugs.
โMarcโโ you gasped when he broke the kiss to trail his lips down your sternum.
โQuiet,โ he ordered, but there was a rough affection in it. He took a nipple into his mouth, sucking hard, his tongue flicking over the peak until you arched off the bed with a sharp cry. He moved to the other, giving it the same relentless attention. โYouโre ours. You know that, right? All of us.โ He wasnโt asking.
He released your wrists only to yank your pants and underwear down your legs, tossing them aside. His gaze raked over your naked form, a hunter assessing his prize. โLook at you. All laid out for us.โ He leaned down, his breath hot against your inner thigh. โGonna taste you. See what all the fuss is about.โ
His mouth on you was an electric shock. There was no gentle build-up; Marc licked into you with a direct, demanding stroke that made you cry out, your fingers tangling in his hair. He worked you with a soldierโs efficiency and focus, his tongue broad and flat, then pointed and precise, finding your clit and circling it with a pressure that bordered on painful. You were already writhing, begging in broken syllables, when he pushed two fingers inside you, curling them upward.
โSo tight,โ he groaned against you, the vibration setting your nerves on fire. โSoaked for us already.โ He pumped his fingers, scissoring them, stretching you, his thumb pressing down on your clit. The dual assault was brutal, effective. Your thighs began to tremble around his head.
Then, a pause. The fingers inside you stilled. The mouth lifted from your core.
When he looked up, the expression had shifted again. The fierce dominance was still there, but it was overlaid with a layer of gritty, street-smart amusement.
โHe gets so serious, *mi corazรณn*,โ Jake Lockley purred, licking his lipsโyour taste still on them. He crawled up your body, his movements a prowl. He didnโt kiss you. He pinned you with his dark, laughing eyes. โAll strategy and orders. Me? I just wanna have fun.โ
Before you could react, he flipped you over onto your hands and knees. His hand landed on your ass with a sharp, stinging crack that echoed in the quiet room. You yelped, the sensation burning through you, mixing pain with a shocking bolt of pleasure.
โJake!โ you gasped.
โThatโs me, sweetheart,โ he chuckled, rubbing the spot heโd smacked. โMarcโs the general. Stevenโs the poet.โ He leaned close, his chest pressing against your back, his lips at your ear. His voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. โIโm the one who gets the job done and enjoys the hell out of it.โ His cock, hard and thick, nudged against your entrance, already slick from Marcโs attention. He didnโt push in. He just teased, the head catching and slipping. โYou want it? Gotta ask nice.โ
โPlease,โ you whimpered, pushing back against him.
โPleaseโฆ?โ he prompted, dragging the tip of him through your folds, making you shudder.
โPlease, Jake.โ
โGood girl.โ With that, he sheathed himself in one long, smooth, devastating stroke, filling you so completely your vision blurred. A ragged moan tore from your throat. He stayed buried to the hilt for a moment, letting you feel every inch of him, his own breath hitching. โ*Dios mio*, you feel perfect.
He started to move, and his rhythm was nothing like Marcโs direct drilling or the deep rolls you imagined Steven would favor. It was a chaotic, delicious sin. Heโd pull almost all the way out, then slam back in, hitting a spot that made you see stars. Then heโd grind deep, making slow, filthy circles with his hips. His hands were everywhereโgripping your hips hard enough to bruise, sliding around to pinch and roll your nipples, one hand snaking between your legs to rub tight, frantic circles on your clit.
โThatโs it,โ he grunted, his pace becoming more frantic. โTake it. Fuck, youโre gonna come all over my cock, arenโt you? Gonna milk me dry.โ
You were babbling, a stream of yes and please and his name, hurtling toward the edge. Just as the coil in your belly was about to snap, he stilled. Deep inside you, you felt itโnot a physical change, but a seismic shift in the consciousness holding you.
The grip on your hips gentled. The frantic energy dissipated, replaced by a deep, throbbing stillness.
โOh, my love,โ Stevenโs voice washed over you, filled with awe and a hint of reproach. โJake, youโre soโฆ *vigorous*.โ He remained embedded within you, but now his hands smoothed over your back, soothing the places Jake had gripped. He leaned over you, his chest to your back, and pressed a soft, apologetic kiss to your shoulder blade. โAre you alright? Was he too rough?โ
The sudden care, the stark contrast from Jakeโs raw filth to Stevenโs tender concern, was its own kind of erotic torture. You were strung out, teetering on the precipice of an orgasm that had been brutally denied.
โStevenโฆ I needโฆโ you sobbed, pushing back against him weakly.
โShhh, I know, darling, I know,โ he soothed, beginning to move again. But his movements were different. They were deep, languid rolls of his hips, a slow, inexitable claiming designed not to shatter, but to drown. He wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you up so your back was against his chest, his other hand coming around to cup your breast, his thumb stroking your nipple with maddening gentleness. โLet me love you. Properly. Let me feel all of you.โ
He nuzzled your neck, whispering sweet nothingsโpoetry, fragments of love songs, praises in French and Arabic. Every word was a feather-light stroke against your overloaded senses. He built the pleasure back up with agonizing patience, each slow, deep thrust a promise. You could feel his own control fraying; his breath grew ragged in your ear, his whispers more fractured.
โYouโre so beautiful like thisโฆ so open for meโฆ for usโฆ I could die right hereโฆโ
The coil was tightening again, slower, deeper, more profound than the sharp need Jake had ignited. You were floating in a haze of sensation, held aloft by Stevenโs adoration.
The shift, when it came, was a jolt.
Stevenโs gentle roll stuttered, became a sharp, powerful snap of the hips. The arm around your waist became a vice.
โEnough,โ Marcโs voice, guttural and strained, cut through Stevenโs whispers. โMy turn.โ
He kept you upright against him, but his pace transformed. It was pure, unadulterated Marc. Hard, deep, piston-like thrusts that stole the air from your lungs. There was no finesse, only a driving, primal need for completion. One hand fisted in your hair, tilting your head back to expose your throat to his biting kisses. The other hand clamped back on your hip, holding you immobile for his use.
โGonna come inside you,โ he growled, each word a thrust. โGonna fill you up. Mark you. So you remember who you belong to.โ
The combination was too much. The sensory hurricaneโJakeโs chaotic fire, Stevenโs drowning depth, and now Marcโs absolute, punishing claimโshattered the last of your restraint. The orgasm exploded through you, a silent, white-hot supernova that clenched every muscle. You convulsed around him, a raw, broken sound escaping your lips as the world dissolved into pure, shuddering sensation.
Marc swore, a harsh, beautiful curse, and with three final, brutal drives, he followed you over, his own release pulsing deep inside you with a heat that seemed to brand your very soul. He held you through it, his body rigid, his forehead pressed against your sweat-slicked shoulder as he shuddered.
For long minutes, the only sound was the ragged symphony of your breathing. Gradually, the iron tension left his body. He lowered you both back to the mattress, collapsing beside you but keeping you pulled tightly into the curve of his body.
A soft sigh, then Stevenโs voice, muffled against your hair. โMy goodness.โ
From the other side of the bed, a low, satisfied chuckle. Jake. โTold you sheโd be speechless.
You were. Wrecked. Boneless. Your mind was a blank, humming slate of pleasure. Every nerve ending felt exposed, every inch of skin sensitized and marked. You were aware of the three of them, a quiet, satisfied presence in the shared mind of the man whose arm was draped heavily over you. The possessiveness of Marc, the adoration of Steven, the wicked thrill of Jakeโthey were all there, swirling in the afterglow, etched into your very bones.
Marcโs thumb stroked a slow, absent circle on your arm. Steven pressed a soft kiss to your temple. Jake just sighed contentedly.
You were theirs. Utterly, completely, and in every way imaginable, destroyed. And you wouldnโt have it any other way.
Three Faces of Desire
Pairing: Marc Spector, Steven Grant, Jake Lockley x F!reader
Rating: 18+, smut warning
Summary: Marc, Steven, and Jake take turns with the reader in a single, intense encounter where their distinct personas switch control mid-sex, leaving the reader completely wrecked.
Warnings: Explicit sexual content, MDNI 18+, multiple personalities/DID (Marc Spector, Steven Grant, Jake Lockley), possessive language, rough sex, spanking, oral sex (receiving), domination/submission dynamics, praise and degradation, switching consciousness during intimacy, pinning/restraint, biting, implied choking (hair pulling/throat focus), internal ejaculation, overstimulation, first person POV reader-insert.
โโโโโโโโโโโโโ
The air in the apartment was still and cool, but it was about to be set ablaze. You were curled on the large, low sofa, a book forgotten in your lap, when you felt the shift. It wasnโt a sound, but a change in pressure, a focusing of energy. You looked up to see Marc Specter leaning in the doorway to the bedroom, his arms crossed over his broad chest. The usual storm in his dark eyes was a calm, intent heat.
โYou coming?โ he asked, his voice a low rumble. It wasnโt really a question.
Your pulse kicked up a notch. Thisโthis thing with themโwas still new, terrifying, and utterly intoxicating. You nodded, setting the book aside, your movements slightly shaky.
As you stood, you saw the subtle flicker in his posture. The aggressive set of his shoulders softened, and a hand came up to run through his hair in a gesture that was distinctlyโฆ not Marc.
โOh, Iโm sorry, was that a bit forward?โ Steven Grantโs softer, British tones emerged from Marcโs mouth. He looked genuinely concerned, stepping into the room. โI justโฆ weโve been thinking about you all day. Well, I have. The othersโฆ they have their own ways of thinking.โ He gave you a shy, crooked smile and offered a hand. โShall we?โ
You took his hand, and he led you to the bedroom. It was Steven who kissed you first, deep and exploring, his hands cradling your face with a tenderness that made your knees weak. He guided you back onto the bed, his lips tracing the line of your jaw, down your throat. โI want to savor you,โ he whispered against your skin, his fingers deftly working the buttons of your shirt. โEvery inch. Every sigh.
He had your shirt open, your bra unfastened with a surprising delicacy, when his rhythm faltered. His kisses, which had been slow and worshipful, grew suddenly hungry, more insistent. The hands on your skin tightened.
โEnough foreplay, English,โ Marcโs gruff voice cut through the quiet, though the face was still Stevenโs. โSheโs not made of china.โ In one fluid, powerful motion, he rolled you beneath him, pinning your wrists above your head with one large hand. The look in his eyes was pure Specter: possessive, dark, and hungry. He claimed your mouth in a searing kiss that was all conquering force, his free hand pushing your clothes the rest of the way off with impatient tugs.
โMarcโโ you gasped when he broke the kiss to trail his lips down your sternum.
โQuiet,โ he ordered, but there was a rough affection in it. He took a nipple into his mouth, sucking hard, his tongue flicking over the peak until you arched off the bed with a sharp cry. He moved to the other, giving it the same relentless attention. โYouโre ours. You know that, right? All of us.โ He wasnโt asking.
He released your wrists only to yank your pants and underwear down your legs, tossing them aside. His gaze raked over your naked form, a hunter assessing his prize. โLook at you. All laid out for us.โ He leaned down, his breath hot against your inner thigh. โGonna taste you. See what all the fuss is about.โ
His mouth on you was an electric shock. There was no gentle build-up; Marc licked into you with a direct, demanding stroke that made you cry out, your fingers tangling in his hair. He worked you with a soldierโs efficiency and focus, his tongue broad and flat, then pointed and precise, finding your clit and circling it with a pressure that bordered on painful. You were already writhing, begging in broken syllables, when he pushed two fingers inside you, curling them upward.
โSo tight,โ he groaned against you, the vibration setting your nerves on fire. โSoaked for us already.โ He pumped his fingers, scissoring them, stretching you, his thumb pressing down on your clit. The dual assault was brutal, effective. Your thighs began to tremble around his head.
Then, a pause. The fingers inside you stilled. The mouth lifted from your core.
When he looked up, the expression had shifted again. The fierce dominance was still there, but it was overlaid with a layer of gritty, street-smart amusement.
โHe gets so serious, *mi corazรณn*,โ Jake Lockley purred, licking his lipsโyour taste still on them. He crawled up your body, his movements a prowl. He didnโt kiss you. He pinned you with his dark, laughing eyes. โAll strategy and orders. Me? I just wanna have fun.โ
Before you could react, he flipped you over onto your hands and knees. His hand landed on your ass with a sharp, stinging crack that echoed in the quiet room. You yelped, the sensation burning through you, mixing pain with a shocking bolt of pleasure.
โJake!โ you gasped.
โThatโs me, sweetheart,โ he chuckled, rubbing the spot heโd smacked. โMarcโs the general. Stevenโs the poet.โ He leaned close, his chest pressing against your back, his lips at your ear. His voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. โIโm the one who gets the job done and enjoys the hell out of it.โ His cock, hard and thick, nudged against your entrance, already slick from Marcโs attention. He didnโt push in. He just teased, the head catching and slipping. โYou want it? Gotta ask nice.โ
โPlease,โ you whimpered, pushing back against him.
โPleaseโฆ?โ he prompted, dragging the tip of him through your folds, making you shudder.
โPlease, Jake.โ
โGood girl.โ With that, he sheathed himself in one long, smooth, devastating stroke, filling you so completely your vision blurred. A ragged moan tore from your throat. He stayed buried to the hilt for a moment, letting you feel every inch of him, his own breath hitching. โ*Dios mio*, you feel perfect.
He started to move, and his rhythm was nothing like Marcโs direct drilling or the deep rolls you imagined Steven would favor. It was a chaotic, delicious sin. Heโd pull almost all the way out, then slam back in, hitting a spot that made you see stars. Then heโd grind deep, making slow, filthy circles with his hips. His hands were everywhereโgripping your hips hard enough to bruise, sliding around to pinch and roll your nipples, one hand snaking between your legs to rub tight, frantic circles on your clit.
โThatโs it,โ he grunted, his pace becoming more frantic. โTake it. Fuck, youโre gonna come all over my cock, arenโt you? Gonna milk me dry.โ
You were babbling, a stream of yes and please and his name, hurtling toward the edge. Just as the coil in your belly was about to snap, he stilled. Deep inside you, you felt itโnot a physical change, but a seismic shift in the consciousness holding you.
The grip on your hips gentled. The frantic energy dissipated, replaced by a deep, throbbing stillness.
โOh, my love,โ Stevenโs voice washed over you, filled with awe and a hint of reproach. โJake, youโre soโฆ *vigorous*.โ He remained embedded within you, but now his hands smoothed over your back, soothing the places Jake had gripped. He leaned over you, his chest to your back, and pressed a soft, apologetic kiss to your shoulder blade. โAre you alright? Was he too rough?โ
The sudden care, the stark contrast from Jakeโs raw filth to Stevenโs tender concern, was its own kind of erotic torture. You were strung out, teetering on the precipice of an orgasm that had been brutally denied.
โStevenโฆ I needโฆโ you sobbed, pushing back against him weakly.
โShhh, I know, darling, I know,โ he soothed, beginning to move again. But his movements were different. They were deep, languid rolls of his hips, a slow, inexitable claiming designed not to shatter, but to drown. He wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you up so your back was against his chest, his other hand coming around to cup your breast, his thumb stroking your nipple with maddening gentleness. โLet me love you. Properly. Let me feel all of you.โ
He nuzzled your neck, whispering sweet nothingsโpoetry, fragments of love songs, praises in French and Arabic. Every word was a feather-light stroke against your overloaded senses. He built the pleasure back up with agonizing patience, each slow, deep thrust a promise. You could feel his own control fraying; his breath grew ragged in your ear, his whispers more fractured.
โYouโre so beautiful like thisโฆ so open for meโฆ for usโฆ I could die right hereโฆโ
The coil was tightening again, slower, deeper, more profound than the sharp need Jake had ignited. You were floating in a haze of sensation, held aloft by Stevenโs adoration.
The shift, when it came, was a jolt.
Stevenโs gentle roll stuttered, became a sharp, powerful snap of the hips. The arm around your waist became a vice.
โEnough,โ Marcโs voice, guttural and strained, cut through Stevenโs whispers. โMy turn.โ
He kept you upright against him, but his pace transformed. It was pure, unadulterated Marc. Hard, deep, piston-like thrusts that stole the air from your lungs. There was no finesse, only a driving, primal need for completion. One hand fisted in your hair, tilting your head back to expose your throat to his biting kisses. The other hand clamped back on your hip, holding you immobile for his use.
โGonna come inside you,โ he growled, each word a thrust. โGonna fill you up. Mark you. So you remember who you belong to.โ
The combination was too much. The sensory hurricaneโJakeโs chaotic fire, Stevenโs drowning depth, and now Marcโs absolute, punishing claimโshattered the last of your restraint. The orgasm exploded through you, a silent, white-hot supernova that clenched every muscle. You convulsed around him, a raw, broken sound escaping your lips as the world dissolved into pure, shuddering sensation.
Marc swore, a harsh, beautiful curse, and with three final, brutal drives, he followed you over, his own release pulsing deep inside you with a heat that seemed to brand your very soul. He held you through it, his body rigid, his forehead pressed against your sweat-slicked shoulder as he shuddered.
For long minutes, the only sound was the ragged symphony of your breathing. Gradually, the iron tension left his body. He lowered you both back to the mattress, collapsing beside you but keeping you pulled tightly into the curve of his body.
A soft sigh, then Stevenโs voice, muffled against your hair. โMy goodness.โ
From the other side of the bed, a low, satisfied chuckle. Jake. โTold you sheโd be speechless.
You were. Wrecked. Boneless. Your mind was a blank, humming slate of pleasure. Every nerve ending felt exposed, every inch of skin sensitized and marked. You were aware of the three of them, a quiet, satisfied presence in the shared mind of the man whose arm was draped heavily over you. The possessiveness of Marc, the adoration of Steven, the wicked thrill of Jakeโthey were all there, swirling in the afterglow, etched into your very bones.
Marcโs thumb stroked a slow, absent circle on your arm. Steven pressed a soft kiss to your temple. Jake just sighed contentedly.
You were theirs. Utterly, completely, and in every way imaginable, destroyed. And you wouldnโt have it any other way.
Terms & Conditions of You
All the Ways Love Doesnโt Start
MASTERLIST โง NEXT โง PREVIOUS
FMC: June (this is not a reader-insert, can be read as one though limited use of the FMC name)
โLove doesnโt start with fireworks.
Sometimes it starts with whiskey, exhaustion, and a stranger who pretends to be yours.โ
Vibes: whiskey neat ยท dim airport bar ยท tired eyes ยท strangers with chemistry ยท soft danger ยท heartbreak you swallow
Warnings: soft angst, breakup mentions, cheating (ex only), unwanted advances
6k words
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โโโโโโโโ โง โโโโโโโโ
Heartbreak,
she decided, looked less like a movie montage and more like an airport terminal at midnight.
The lighting was too bright and somehow still too dim, casting everyone in the bar near Gate 47 in a kind of stale fluorescence. Screens flickered with updated departure times. A baby cried somewhere in the distance. A man at the end of the counter laughed too loudly at something on his phone. The ice in her glass clicked softly each time her hand trembled.
She sat hunched on a cracked leather barstool, her carry-on tucked between her ankles like a small animal she had to protect. The bartender had taken one look at her face, at her windburned cheeks and puffy eyes, and poured whiskey without asking what she wanted. She hadnโt corrected him. Whiskey seemed right. Something blunt and inelegant that burned on the way down.
The drink was golden in the low light, condensation sliding down the sides of the glass. She wrapped both hands around it, letting the chill bite into her fingers before the warmth seeped up into her palms. Her body felt bruised from the inside out, tender in places no one could see.
Iceland had been her idea. A romantic reconnection trip, sheโd called it when she pitched it over takeout one night. Five years together, same apartment, same routines, same coffee orders and grocery lists and Sunday morning habits. The kind of life you built when you believed in โlong-termโ and โseriousโ and โthe right person.โ Sheโd thought the trip would be a celebration of that. Aurora borealis, glacier lagoons, hot springs. The kind of thing you post on Instagram with captions like lucky to do life with you.
She tilted the glass, watching the whiskey catch the light. The memories of the last forty-eight hours pressed against the back of her eyes like a migraine.
She hadnโt been snooping. That was the worst part. Sheโd been looking for the time.
His phone had been on the nightstand, screen face-up, buzzing with a message. Sheโd picked it up to check how late they were running for the tour and the preview had been right there. A name she didnโt recognize. A heart. A sentence that started with I wish you were here instead of her.
Sheโd opened the thread because there was no universe in which she wouldnโt. Scrolled. Seen dates, and pet names, and explicit photos that made her stomach flip for reasons that had nothing to do with desire.
By the time heโd stepped out of the shower, towel around his waist, steam curling into the hotel bedroom, her suitcase was already zipped. Her heart had been beating a strange, steady rhythmโtoo slow for panic, too fast for calm.
โWhat are you doing?โ heโd asked, confused.
โWeโre done,โ sheโd said. Her own voice had surprised her. It hadnโt cracked or wavered. Justโฆ stated the fact.
The rest blurred. His excuses, his stammering, his it didnโt mean anything, his it was a mistake, the way his face had gone slack when he realized she wasnโt going to argue. She hadnโt yelled. Hadnโt demanded explanations. Hadnโt asked him if he loved her, because she suddenly didnโt want to know the answer.
Sheโd changed her flight at the airport, traded their shared itinerary for the first seat back to New York she could get. Sheโd cried in a bathroom stall until her eyes burned and her throat ached and all that was left now was a numb, echoing hollow in her chest.
โAnother?โ the bartender asked, nodding at her glass.
She blinked. There was barely a sip left, just melted ice and a faint amber sheen.
โYeah,โ she said. โSure.โ
He poured. The smell hit her before the taste, sharp and medicinal. She thought about saying something witty, something self-deprecating, something that would make her seem like a woman having an edgy, cinematic meltdown and not someone whose sense of self had quietly cracked in a foreign hotel room. She didnโt have it in her.
Her phone lay face-up on the counter beside the napkin, the black screen reflecting her distorted face. There were two unread emails from her editorโsubject lines containing words like deadline and love column angle?โand a few missed calls from her best friend. She should answer. She couldnโt bring herself to.
It was almost funny. She made a living writing about relationships. Columns about modern dating and long-term commitment and communication and choosing yourself. Sheโd written about red flags like she was a person who would never ignore them. Sheโd offered calm, thoughtful advice to strangers about self-worth and mutual respect and not staying where you werenโt valued.
Apparently she was better at giving advice than taking it.
A quiet shuffle of noise came from two seats down as someone lowered themselves onto a stool. She felt rather than saw the movementโa shift in the air, a new presence settling into the edge of her awareness. She didnโt look straight away. The bar was half full. People came and went. No one here was hers to notice.
But then the newcomer spoke, and the sound of his voice snagged at something in her.
โWhiskey neat,โ he said.
Deep, low, rough at the edgesโlike someone whoโd been speaking too little for too long and had forgotten how to smooth the corners of his words.
Curiosity tugged. She glanced sideways.
He was older than her by at least a decade, maybe more. Forties, if she had to guess. Dark brown curls, overgrown just enough to fall across his forehead in soft waves, with threads of silver glinting near his temples. A strong nose, a mouth set in a line that looked like it had been a smile, once, before something had worn it down. His beard was short, uneven in a way that suggested neglect rather than fashion, salt just beginning to dust through the dark.
He was beautiful, in that specific, adult way that wasnโt about perfection but presence. The kind of face you noticed in a crowd because it had lived things, not because it hadnโt. The kind of man youโd cast in a movie when you wanted the audience to trust him and doubt him at the same time.
His blazer was navy, molded to broad shoulders and a solid chest. His shirt beneath it was a bit rumpled, top buttons undone, the hollow of his throat on display. He looked more like heโd been poured into the clothes than heโd chosen them meticulously today.
The bartender set his drink down. He wrapped long fingers around the glass, knuckles nicked and veined. His wrist peeked from his cuffโwatch expensive but understated, leather strap worn in like he actually used it instead of wearing it as a prop.
He didnโt look at her. His gaze went past the bottles to the mirror behind the bar, then past that, to the row of departure screens reflecting overhead. For a second, she saw his reflection, and the expression he woreโa mix of tired and resignedโfelt familiar. Not the circumstances, but the weight.
Someone whose life had shifted recently, and not in a way that left room for celebration.
She turned back to her drink before he caught her staring.
The barโs noise settled into a low, constant humโthe gentle clink of ice, the scratch of chair legs, murmured conversations, the crackle of a loudspeaker somewhere too far to understand the words but close enough to feel the disruption. The world kept moving at its indifferent pace while hers circled the same small loop: Five years. Messages. Suitcase. Airport. Alone.
A stool scraped against the floor on her other side. Before she could brace, a wave of cologne hit herโtoo strong, chemically sweet, the scent of someone who didnโt know when to stop.
โHey there,โ a voice said, right at her shoulder.
She stiffened.
She turned her head slightly. The man whoโd taken the seat on her right was early thirties, maybe, with a close-trimmed beard and hair gelled into deliberate disarray. His shirt was unbuttoned a little too far, chest on show like a menu item. He smiled like heโd never had to try very hard to get people to smile back.
โYou look like youโve had a long day,โ he said.
โIโm fine,โ she answered, automatic.
He leaned his elbow onto the bar, invading her space by inches. โNo one in an airport bar is fine. Can I get you another?โ
โI already have one.โ She tapped her glass lightly.
โIโll get the next,โ he pushed. โWhat are you drinking?โ
โNo, thank you.โ
He laughed, a little too loud, a sound that made nearby heads turn. โCome on. Donโt say it like that. One drink. I promise Iโm good company.โ
โIโm sure you are,โ she said, keeping her voice even. โBut Iโm not interested.โ
He tilted his head, smile unchanged but eyes cooling. โYou donโt even know me yet.โ
โI donโt need to,โ she said. โPlease. I just want to sit alone.โ
He chuckled again, like it was a game. โYou canโt seriously want to drink alone in an airport.โ
โYes,โ she replied. โI can.โ
He drummed his fingers on the counter, closer to her wrist than she liked. โRough trip?โ
โThatโs none of your business.โ
โBet I could make it better,โ he said.
She stared straight ahead, counting the bottles lined up behind the bar, trying to breathe around the tightness in her chest. It wasnโt that she was afraid of him, she told herself. Or maybe she was, but not in the immediate danger sense. It was the fear of being seen crying. Of getting angry enough that her voice would wobble. Of becoming the hysterical woman people pretended not to look at.
โReally,โ she said, quieter. โPlease stop.โ
โRelax. Iโm just talking to you,โ he said, and then his hand brushed her forearm in a light, possessive touch.
Her whole body flinched.
โDonโt,โ she snapped, the word sharper than she intended.
He blinked, his smile faltering into something harder. โJesus. Iโm being nice.โ
She moved slightly away on her stool, putting a sliver more distance between them. The bar suddenly felt too small, the air too thin.
On her left, the man in the navy blazer was still there. She could see him in the corner of her vision, still and quiet, his gaze no longer on the screens but fractionally angled toward them. Watching. Not intervening. Not yet.
She swallowed, fingers digging into the damp curve of her glass.
โSeriously,โ she tried once more. โLeave me alone.โ
โCome on, sweetheart,โ the man said, and that word, from his mouth, made her stomach twist. โDonโt be like that. Just talk to me for a bit. Youโll thank me.โ
She thought, wildly, that she could throw her drink in his face. She thought she could call the bartender over and make a scene. She thought about the way her ex had looked at her when sheโd calmly told him it was over, like sheโd taken away his script.
She did not want another man to look at her like she was the problem.
โHey.โ
The new voice slipped into the space like a hand sliding into hersโsteady, low, and warm.
She turned.
The man from the other stool had moved. She hadnโt heard him stand, hadnโt registered his approach until he was right there beside her, close enough that she could see the faint lines at the corners of his eyes, the slight roughness of his skin. The scent of him was different from the cloying cologne on her rightโclean, a hint of something woody and warm under airplane air and tiredness.
He rested his free hand on the back of her chair. He didnโt touch her, didnโt grip, just placed his palm there, casual but unmistakable, creating a line between her and the man at her side.
โThere you are,โ he said to her, the words flavored with the kind of relief people used when they finally spotted someone in a crowd.
Her heart jumped. The bar, the noise, the creep on her rightโall of it blurred briefly.
โI thought I lost you,โ he added, and there was a little smile now, something dry and familiar curling his mouth. โThey keep moving the gates.โ
It took a single heartbeat for her to understand.
He was pretending.
Her pulse hammered. Her first instinct was disbelief, the second gratitude, the thirdโinsane as it wasโwas that he was even more dangerously attractive up close. The planes and the fluorescent lights and the hollow ache in her chest made it feel like a strange, detached dream.
He held her gaze. There was a question in his eyes, not assumption. He needed her to step into the lie.
โSorry,โ she heard herself say. Her voice sounded steadier than she felt. โI gotโฆ distracted.โ
The man on her right frowned. โWho are you?โ
Navy blazer man didnโt look at him. His attention stayed on her, soft and grounding.
โYou okay?โ he asked her quietly, the words meant for her, not for the performance.
She nodded. โI am now.โ
Only then did he turn his head to acknowledge the other man, the shift in his posture subtle but unmistakable. He didnโt square his shoulders, didnโt puff up, didnโt turn this into some kind of alpha showdown. He justโฆ existed. Calmly. Fully.
โIโm her boyfriend,โ he said, voice smooth and matter-of-fact, as if this wasnโt a lie heโd come up with thirty seconds ago.
The word slid through her with an unexpected jolt. Not the content, but the way he said itโnothing in it for himself, no bragging, no staking a claim. Just simple, functional, effective.
The guy snorted. โShe didnโt say she had a boyfriend.โ
Navy blazer man lifted one eyebrow, expression flattening into something almost amused. โShe said she wasnโt interested.โ
โSo?โ
โSo that shouldโve been enough,โ he replied, tone still pleasant. โYou donโt need a reason to listen to no.โ
The other man bristled. โI was just being nice.โ
He shrugged. โBe nice somewhere else.โ
There was a moment where everything held still. She felt like she was watching a scene play out underwaterโthe distant hum of the bar, the lights stinging at her eyes, the two men on either side of her coiled in vastly different energies.
Then the younger man scoffed, clearly weighing his options and finding no way to win without looking ridiculous.
โWhatever,โ he muttered. โHave fun with your little drama.โ
He grabbed his bag, shoulder bumping the stool as he stormed away. She exhaled a breath she hadnโt realized sheโd been holding until now, her fingers loosening around the glass.
For a beat, the man beside her kept his hand where it was, on the back of her chair, in case the creep turned back. When it was clear he was gone, he eased back a step, letting his palm fall, reclaiming his own stool one seat over.
He didnโt look triumphant. Justโฆ relieved.
โThank you,โ she said, turning toward him. The words didnโt feel big enough but they were all she had. โI reallyโthank you. I owe you one.โ
He shook his head. โYou donโt owe me anything.โ
โI do,โ she insisted, something fierce slipping into her voice now that the adrenaline had somewhere to go. โI didnโt know how to make him stop withoutโฆ breaking apart. So. Yeah. I owe you.โ
He studied her for a moment, then inclined his head, accepting that not because he agreed, but because he understood she needed to give something back.
โOkay,โ he said quietly. โThen letโs say you bought me five minutes of conversation.โ
A small, startled laugh escaped her. It felt rusty, like it hadnโt been used in days. โFive minutes?โ
โFive,โ he confirmed. โAfter that, we can go back to pretending weโre strangers in the same bar.โ
She considered him. The lines framing his mouth, the exhaustion in his eyes, the gentle steadiness in his voice. Five minutes seemed a small price for what heโd just done for her.
โDeal,โ she said. โBut youโre going to need to talk, not just stare into your drink like it personally offended you.โ
That drew a real smile out of him, quick and bright, sharpening every angle of his face in a way that made her embarrassingly aware of how handsome he really was. It softened almost immediately, like smiles werenโt something he trusted to stay.
โIโll try to rein in my bad habits,โ he said.
He took the stool beside hers this time, leaving a respectful space between them but clearly, intentionally choosing her company. His carry-on sat by his feet, scuffed leather and a worn baggage tag. Up close, she could see how tired he wasโnot just the shallow tired of travel, but the deeper one that hollowed out a person from their center.
โYou all right?โ he asked again. It wasnโt a filler question. He really wanted to know.
She could lie. Say yes and leave it at that. But honesty felt strangely easier with someone whose life sheโd never have to live with later.
โNo,โ she said. โBut I will be. Eventually.โ
He nodded once. โThatโs more than most people can say at an airport bar.โ
She huffed out a breath. โWhat about you? You looked like you were ready to start a staring contest with your own reflection before you jumped in.โ
A faint, crooked line tugged at his mouth. โRough week,โ he admitted.
โSame,โ she said.
He glanced at her glass. โIceland?โ
She blinked. โHow did you know that?โ
He nodded toward the boarding passes sticking out of her open tote bag, half-covered by her scarf. โKEF to JFK. Reykjavik to New York.โ
She looked down, then back at him. โSo youโre observant.โ
โOccupational hazard,โ he said.
โOf what?โ
He hesitated. โFinance.โ
She made a face. โThatโs vague.โ
โPrivate equity,โ he clarified, like that might somehow sound better.
โOh,โ she said dryly. โSo you buy things and ruin them.โ
He laughedโreally laughed this time, head tilting back for a second, eyes creasing. It did something unpleasantly pleasant to her insides.
โThatโs one way to put it,โ he said. โYou donโt like finance?โ
โI donโt like people who talk about finance at parties,โ she said. โBut you havenโt tried to explain the market to me yet, so maybe thereโs hope.โ
โGive me time,โ he murmured. โWeโve only just met.โ
There was something in the way he said it that made it feelโฆ heavier. Like he wasnโt just commenting on this moment, but on a larger truth neither of them knew yet.
She cleared her throat, suddenly aware of the way her heart had picked up.
โYou were in Iceland too?โ she asked.
โYeah.โ He traced the rim of his glass with one slow thumb, his eyes lowered. โLong enough to remember what silence feels like.โ
โVacation?โ she pressed gently.
He paused, weighing the truth. She recognized the lookโthe quiet debate of what a stranger should know.
โNot exactly,โ he said. โI went there after a breakup.โ
She softened. โIโm sorry.โ
He shook his head immediately. โIt wasnโt that kind of breakup. Lucy and Iโฆ we werenโt together long. A few months. It looked like it shouldโve worked, so we kept showing up and hoping it would eventually feel like something.โ
She watched him carefully, taking in the subtle tension in his jaw.
โDid it?โ she asked.
โNo,โ he said simply. โIt didnโt. We were both smart enough to admit it.โ
โWhat happened?โ
He lifted one shoulder in a small, quiet shrug. โShe realized she still loved her ex. Loved him the way people write songs about. The way people make stupid decisions for. And she wanted to try again with him.โ
โDid that hurt?โ she asked softly.
He thought about it for only a second. โNo. Because I never wanted her like that. I liked her. She liked me. But it wasโฆ polite. Functional. Nothing you fight for.โ
โAnd you still went to Iceland?โ she asked.
โAlready booked,โ he said. โAnd honestly? I needed the time alone. A week with no meetings, no expectations, no one asking why I didnโt feel more than I felt. Iceland seemed like the kind of place where no one cares if youโre quiet.โ
There was no bitterness in his voice.
But there was something else.
A strange, soft honesty she hadnโt expected from a man who looked so solid.
She exhaled slowly. โSometimes I wonder which is worseโfinding out thereโs too much feeling, or finding out thereโs none.โ
He studied her profile. โWhich did you get?โ
โToo much,โ she said. โJust not pointed at me.โ
He didnโt flinch. Didnโt look away. โHe cheated.โ
She nodded, throat thick. โFor months, apparently.โ
โI am sorry,โ he said again, and she believed him.
She swirled the whiskey in her glass, watching the melt of ice dilute the amber. โDo you believe in love?โ she asked suddenly. โThe big kind. The terrifying, world-shifting, everyone-writes-poems-about-it kind.โ
He didnโt answer immediately. His jaw flexed, a muscle ticking once, twice.
โNo,โ he said at last. โI donโt.โ
The simple honesty of it startled her.
โNever?โ she asked.
He shrugged, shoulders rolling under the blazer. โIโve had relationships. Good ones, by most measures. Comfort. Loyalty. Affection. Iโve cared about people. Iโve wanted them safe, wanted them happy. But Iโve never felt thatโฆ thing people describe. The all-consuming wave that rearranges your insides.โ
โYou think it doesnโt exist?โ she asked.
โI think itโs rare,โ he said. โRare enough that most people call whatever they have โloveโ because admitting theyโve never felt it is too lonely.โ He paused. โAnd I think Iโm not built for it.โ
Something about thatโhis quiet certainty, his resignationโhurt more than her own story.
โThat soundsโฆโ She searched for the word. โSad.โ
He gave a small, crooked smile. โSad would suggest Iโve lost something. You have to have something first for it to be gone.โ
She looked away, back at the rows of bottles, glass reflecting glass. โI used to believe in it,โ she said quietly. โLove. The ridiculous, messy, inconvenient kind. I built a career on it. On helping other people believe in it too.โ
โYouโre a writer,โ he said, not a question.
She blinked, surprised. โHow do you know that?โ
He gestured with his chin toward her tote. โLaptop, printed pages, a planner with color-coded tabs, and a copy of a book about attachment styles. You either write about relationships or youโre a very dedicated overthinker.โ
โBoth,โ she admitted.
โThat tracks,โ he said, a hint of warmth in his tone.
โI write a column,โ she added. โAbout love and modern dating and all the ways people try and fail to make it work.โ
โAnd yet,โ he said softly, โno one taught him not to screw it up.โ
Her throat burned. โI donโt know if he ever believed in the same version I did.โ
โWhat version was that?โ he asked.
She thought about it. Thought about all the lines sheโd given strangers on the internet, all the words sheโd used to convince people to leave bad relationships and trust theyโd find better.
โMore than convenience,โ she said slowly. โMore than habit. More than someone liking the way it feels to be loved. I always thought real love meantโฆ choosing each other. On purpose. Over and over. Even when itโs not easy.โ
โAnd he didnโt choose you,โ Harry said.
The way he said itโgently, without dramaโmade the truth land cleaner than any of the stories sheโd spun in her head.
โNo,โ she said. โHe chose someone else.โ
For a moment the silence between them felt fragile, thin as glass. Then he shifted, just enough that his shoulder almost brushed hers, warmth radiating in the inch of air between them.
โThatโs not on you,โ he said. โThatโs on him.โ
It shouldnโt have meant as much as it did, hearing it from a stranger. But her body seemed to unclench a fraction. The words hooked onto something raw inside her, anchoring it.
โI believed in something that wasnโt real,โ she managed.
โYou believed in your own capacity,โ he countered. โHeโs the one who stood in front of it and said, โThatโs all I have to offer.โ That has nothing to do with the size of what you had to give.โ
She stared at him, throat thick. โYouโre weirdly good at this for someone who claims he doesnโt believe in love.โ
โI donโt believe in it for me,โ he said. โI believe other people feel it. They look like they do. But I stand in front of it and feelโฆ nothing. Like pressing my palm against the glass of someone elseโs life.โ
A gate announcement cut through the bar, calling a boarding group for a completely different flight. He checked the screen automatically, then his watch. Not yet.
She watched the way he moved, the faint stiffness in his shoulders, the air of a man whoโd spent the last few years holding other peopleโs expectations up until his arms gave out. He had the worn-in charisma of someone who probably handled rooms and investors and tense negotiations without breaking a sweat. It made his quiet now feel heavier, more intimate.
โYou said you had a favor,โ she reminded him, when the silence had stretched into something thoughtful rather than awkward.
He let out a breath, his gaze dropping briefly to the water he still hadnโt finished. โRight.โ
โIf itโs something insane,โ she said, โyou should know Iโm fresh off the worst trip of my life. My bar for sanity is very low.โ
โThatโs encouraging,โ he said dryly. โFor what itโs worth, I think itโs only mildly insane.โ
โGo on,โ she said.
He traced the rim of his glass again, the motion small, grounding. When he looked up at her this time, there was something almost vulnerable in his expression. Not in a performative way, not in a wounded bird way. Justโฆ bare.
โMy ex,โ he said. โLucy. Sheโs getting married next month.โ
Her brows lifted. โThat was fast.โ
โIt was inevitable,โ he said. โSheโd been halfway in love with him for a while. We both pretended not to see it. It made ending things easier in some ways.โ
โStill,โ she said. โThat soundsโฆ a lot.โ
โIt is,โ he admitted. โOur friends are all going. Her family. Some of my colleagues. Itโs going to be an event.โ
โAnd youโre invited,โ she guessed.
โI promised Iโd be there.โ He shrugged, the movement small, heavy. โIt matters to her. Closure, symbolism, whatever you want to call it. I keep my promises, even when theyโre uncomfortable.โ
She sat back a little, turning her glass between her palms. โYou donโt have to go alone,โ she said, then caught herself. โSorry. Obviously thatโs the problem.โ
He gave a half-smile. โExactly. Everyone assumes I will show up solo. And thatโsโฆ fine. Functionally. But I know how itโll look. The man who didnโt believe in love at his exโs wedding, applauding politely from the corner, alone.โ
โAnd that bothers you,โ she said.
โIt bothers me that Iโll spend the entire night being looked at like a cautionary tale,โ he said. โOr worse, like a sympathetic one.โ
She could picture itโpeople glancing at him over champagne flutes, whispering into each otherโs ears. Poor Harry. Couldnโt love her enough. Hope heโs okay. Did you hear he went to Iceland with her after they broke up? Sheโd been on both sides of those conversations.
โSo whatโs the favor?โ she asked again, gently.
He met her eyes, and there it wasโthat flicker of something reckless.
โYou come with me,โ he said. โAs my date.โ
The words hung between them, absurd and weirdly logical all at once.
She stared at him. โIโwhat?โ
He didnโt rush to fill the space, didnโt backtrack. He just held her gaze, as if giving her time to reject the idea outright.
โYou said you owe me,โ he reminded her softly. โOne favor. One drink. Five minutes of conversation. Iโmโฆ amending the terms.โ
She laughed, a startled sound with no real amusement in it. โThatโs not an amendment, thatโs a hostile takeover.โ
His mouth curved. โI work in private equity. We donโt really do gentle negotiations.โ
โThatโs not funny,โ she said, fighting the urge to smile anyway.
โItโs a little funny,โ he argued.
She shook her head, trying to clear it. โYou want to take a complete stranger to your exโs wedding.โ
โBelieve me, I am fully aware of how insane it sounds,โ he said. โBut think about it. You and Iโฆ weโre in similar places. You donโt believe in the thing you built your life around. I never believed in it and just had that fact rubbed in my face in high definition. Neither of us is exactly thriving. One night of pretending we are? Could beโฆ useful.โ
โUseful,โ she echoed flatly.
โYouโd get a good story out of it,โ he pointed out. โYouโre a columnist. Tell me your editor wouldnโt salivate over โI Went to a Wedding as a Strangerโs Fake Girlfriend and It Broke My Brain.โโ
She hated that he was not wrong.
โYouโd have an open bar, decent food, music, somewhere to wear something that isnโt rated for sub-zero temperatures,โ he continued. โIโd have someone beside me so people stop looking at me like a failed experiment.โ
โYou could bring a friend,โ she said.
He tilted his head. โDo you want to go to your exโs wedding with someone who knows every version of you? Or with someone who owes you absolutely nothing and will never see any of those people again?โ
She hesitated. Imagined her best friend gripping her hand in a bathroom while she ugly cried. Imagined being the sobbing mess in a room full of people who knew exactly how long sheโd been with her ex, exactly how much sheโd invested, exactly what sheโd lost.
โFair point,โ she admitted.
โIโm not asking you to save me,โ he said. โJust to stand next to me for a few hours, dance once or twice, laugh at my bad jokes if you can bear it, and make some rich people who barely know me assume Iโve moved on spectacularly.โ
She found herself tracing the rim of her glass the way he had been, the condensation damp against her fingertip.
โAnd what do I get?โ she asked. โBesides a story and free champagne.โ
โOne night,โ he said. โWhere youโre not the woman who got cheated on in Iceland. Where nobody knows his name or what he did. Where youโre justโฆ someoneโs plus one who looks too good in a dress and is slightly out of his league.โ
Her chest squeezed. โFlattery is cheap.โ
โItโs not flattery,โ he said. โIโd be punching well above my weight, and we both know it.โ
Heat crept up her neck, inconvenient and annoying.
โThis is insane,โ she said, more to herself than to him.
โI agree,โ he said easily. โBut itโs the kind of insane that might feel better than whatever we were both going to be doing that night instead.โ
She imagined it without meaning to. A venue somewhere out of the city, lights strung over a lawn. A woman she didnโt know in a dress sheโd never wear, walking down an aisle toward the man sheโd chosen. Harry standing somewhere at the back, hands in his pockets, watching with that quiet, resigned expression.
And then she imagined him not alone. Imagined herself beside him, her hand looped through his arm, the two of them an odd, temporary partnership built on scars and performance.
โYou donโt know me,โ she said.
โExactly,โ he replied. โThereโs something freeing about that, isnโt there?โ
She thought about the last five years. How predictable sheโd become. How known. How every fight had felt like a rerun of a show she was tired of watching. There was a sharp, inconvenient appeal in the idea of being unknown. Of playing a part that didnโt require her to be the most wounded person in the room.
Her flight number blinked on the screen above the bar, still delayed, buying her more time to make a choice she probably shouldnโt be making.
โThis would be a one-time thing,โ she said carefully.
โYes.โ
โNoโฆ follow-up.โ Her cheeks heated at the implication, and she rolled her eyes at herself. โNo expectation ofโฆ anything.โ
He held up one hand as if taking an oath. โNo expectation of anything except that you donโt leave me alone at the table for more than ten consecutive minutes.โ
โYouโre very nonchalant about asking a strange woman to be your human shield,โ she said.
โIโm not nonchalant,โ he said. โIโm hoping youโll say yes and prepared for you to say no. Both things can be true.โ
She searched his face thenโreally searched it. The tired lines. The sincerity. The reckless edge. The lack of calculation in his eyes. If he were trying to manipulate her, heโd be smoother. If he were trying to pick her up, heโd be sleazier. He didnโt feel like either.
He felt like a man standing at the edge of something, not sure whether he wanted to step back or jump.
โThatโs a big favor,โ she said finally.
โYou can think about it,โ he offered. โIโll give you my number. You can block me as soon as we leave this bar if you decide Iโm a terrible idea. But if you say no right now, youโre going to sit on that plane and wonder why you didnโt at least consider it.โ
He was right. She hated that.
She stared down at her hands, the small half-moon indents her nails had left in her palm. The version of herself who had booked Iceland would have said no. The version who just survived Iceland wasnโt entirely sure what she was capable of now.
โFine,โ she said, the word feeling a little like jumping. โOkay. Iโllโฆ consider it. Tentatively.โ
His mouth curved into a real smile this time, bright enough that she understood instinctively that not many people got to see it.
โIโll take tentatively,โ he said. He pulled his phone from his pocket, unlocked it, and slid it over to her. โNumber?โ
She hesitated just long enough to feel like she was making a choice and not just being carried by momentum. Then she typed it in, added her name, and, after a split second of wicked impulse, tagged on a last name in the contact field: Airport Mistake.
He glanced at the screen, huffed out a laugh. โThatโs harsh.โ
โAccurate,โ she said.
He saved it and handed the phone back, then gestured for hers. She passed it over, heart hammering far more than it had any right to. His fingers were quick on the screen. A second later, he returned it.
A new contact blinked up at her: Harry โ Bad Idea.
โFairโs fair,โ he said.
She looked from the name to him. Harry. It fit, weirdly. Strong, simple, unfussy.
She realized, with a small jolt, that in all of this, they hadnโt actually exchanged names properly.
โYou just asked me to be your date to your exโs wedding,โ she said slowly. โI donโt even know your last name.โ
He lifted one shoulder. โCastillo.โ
โHarry Castillo,โ she repeated, letting the syllables roll in her mouth. Somehow, it made him feel more real. โYou know thatโs not helping the movie logic of this situation, right?โ
He smiled, lines fanning out at the corners of his eyes. โIf it helps, I also file quarterly taxes and have lower back pain. Thatโs about as unromantic as it gets.โ
She snorted, then bit back another smile. โDebatable.โ
Overhead, the loudspeaker crackled to life again, announcing pre-boarding for their flight. Passengers began to gather their things, scraping chairs, tugging suitcases upright.
He glanced at the gate, then back at her.
โIโll text you the details tomorrow,โ he said. โYou donโt have to say yes. You donโt have to respond at all. Butโฆ if you think you might want one night where you get to be someone else, even just a little, Iโll be there.โ
She swallowed. โThis is insane,โ she said again, quietly.
โProbably,โ he agreed. His gaze softened. โBut insane hasnโt worked out that badly for me so far. Rational decisions are the ones that got me on a breakup trip to Iceland with my ex.โ
He stood, lifting his carry-on handle. For a moment he just watched her, something unreadable in his eyes.
โGet some sleep,โ he said. โAnd eat something that isnโt bar nuts.โ
โYes, Dad,โ she said, then winced. โSorry. That wasโโ
He laughed, shaking his head. โTragic. You can do better.โ
She found herself smiling despite everything. โI usually can.โ
He took a step backward, movements unhurried even as the lane at the gate began to fill, boarding groups clustering in their small, impatient huddles.
โGoodnightโฆ columnist,โ he said.
She hesitated. โGoodnightโฆ emotionally incompetent finance guy.โ
He gave her one last look, something like a promise in it that neither of them was qualified to make, then turned and joined the slow-moving queue at the gate.
She watched him until the line swallowed him, until he handed over his boarding pass, until the navy blazer disappeared down the jet bridge.
Only when she couldnโt see him anymore did she look down at her phone.
One new message blinked up on the screen.
Unknown: Donโt panic yet. Itโs just a wedding.
A second later:
Harry โ Bad Idea: (But if youโre going to panic, do it in a dress you love.)
She stared at the texts, thumb hovering over the keyboard. A laugh bubbled up in her chest, startling in its softness.
She typed back before she could think better of it.
Airport Mistake: Weโll see.
She set the phone face-down on the bar, took a steadying breath, and glanced up at the departure board.
Her flight number glowed on the screen, boarding group creeping closer.
It was supposed to be just one night, she told herself.
One night pretending to be someone else. One night standing next to a man who didnโt believe in love when she wasnโt sure she did anymore either.
Just one night.
She had no idea how dangerous that could be.
โโโโโโโโ โง โโโโโโโโ
a/n: I wasnโt planning to write this, but Harry Castillo in a navy blazer lives rent-free in my brain, so here we are. Slow burn + emotional damage incoming.
TERMS & CONDITIONS OF YOU
MASTERLIST
by inkeddaydream
๊ฐโก๊ฑ strangers โ fake dating โ contract lovers โ slow burn
๊ฐโก๊ฑ Pedro Pascal as Harry Castillo (Materialists AU)
๊ฐโก๊ฑ multiple parts | ongoing | third person limited | eventual smut
๊ฐโก๊ฑ warnings & tags listed below
โโโโโโโโโงโโโโโโโโ
CHAPTERS
Part one: All the Ways Love Doesnโt Start
Part two: Terms of the Favour
Part three: The Art of Pretending
Part four: The Wedding Date Problem
Part five: Additional Terms and Conditions
Part six: The Lie that Feels Like the Truth
Part seven: What we didnโt Mean to Feel
Part eight: If weโre Being Honest
Part nine: Burrowed Hearts, Kept Anyway
Part ten: One Night, One choice
โโโโโโโโโงโโโโโโโโ
SUMMARY
She returns from Iceland newly single, heart cracked open by betrayal.
He returns newly single because he never loved in the first place.
One night at an airport bar, a creepy stranger, one pretend-boyfriend moment,
and a favor she didnโt know she was about to oweโ
Harry Castillo asks her to be his date to his exโs wedding.
It was supposed to be one night
It never is
โโโ โโ โโ โ โโโ
WARNINGS
healing, soft angst, slow burn, strangers to lovers, fake dating โ contract dating, mutual pining, emotional repression, yearning (dangerous levels), adult loneliness, breakup recovery, cheating mentioned (ex only), unwanted advances, jealousy (soft), gentle possessiveness, modern romance, tension so thick you could chew it, forced proximity, one bed, banter, dry humor, emotional vulnerability, miscommunication (light), touch-starved energy, protective gestures, intense eye contact, accidental intimacy, โthis feels realโ moments, Materialists-accurate Harry Castillo (Pedro Pascal coded), mild age gap, columnist x finance man dynamic, poor x rich dynamic, soft masculine softness, she doesnโt believe in love anymore and he never did.
eventual smut (18+), explicit sexual content later, kissing (soft โ desperate), pinning, size difference, oral sex (mโf), optional oral (fโm), fingers, deep tension-heavy foreplay, praise kink (gentle), light dominance, body worship, breathy whispers, jealous kiss, lingerie moment , aftercare (soft hands, holding, whispered comfort).
no cheating between MCs, no non-con, no dub-con, no minors, no coercion, no toxic manipulation.
โโโ โฆ โก โฆ โโโ
NOTES
โฆ This is a slow burn with emotional depth, soft angst, and adult themes.
โฆ Updates as regularly as possible.
โฆ Reblogs & comments feed my soul โก
TERMS & CONDITIONS OF YOU
MASTERLIST
by inkeddaydream
๊ฐโก๊ฑ strangers โ fake dating โ contract lovers โ slow burn
๊ฐโก๊ฑ Pedro Pascal as Harry Castillo (Materialists AU)
๊ฐโก๊ฑ multiple parts | ongoing | third person limited | eventual smut
๊ฐโก๊ฑ warnings & tags listed below
โโโโโโโโโงโโโโโโโโ
CHAPTERS
Part one: All the Ways Love Doesnโt Start
Part two: Terms of the Favour
Part three: The Art of Pretending
Part four: The Wedding Date Problem
Part five: Additional Terms and Conditions
Part six: The Lie that Feels Like the Truth
Part seven: What we didnโt Mean to Feel
Part eight: If weโre Being Honest
Part nine: Burrowed Hearts, Kept Anyway
Part ten: One Night, One choice
โโโโโโโโโงโโโโโโโโ
SUMMARY
She returns from Iceland newly single, heart cracked open by betrayal.
He returns newly single because he never loved in the first place.
One night at an airport bar, a creepy stranger, one pretend-boyfriend moment,
and a favor she didnโt know she was about to oweโ
Harry Castillo asks her to be his date to his exโs wedding.
It was supposed to be one night
It never is
โโโ โโ โโ โ โโโ
WARNINGS
healing, soft angst, slow burn, strangers to lovers, fake dating โ contract dating, mutual pining, emotional repression, yearning (dangerous levels), adult loneliness, breakup recovery, cheating mentioned (ex only), unwanted advances, jealousy (soft), gentle possessiveness, modern romance, tension so thick you could chew it, forced proximity, one bed, banter, dry humor, emotional vulnerability, miscommunication (light), touch-starved energy, protective gestures, intense eye contact, accidental intimacy, โthis feels realโ moments, Materialists-accurate Harry Castillo (Pedro Pascal coded), mild age gap, columnist x finance man dynamic, poor x rich dynamic, soft masculine softness, she doesnโt believe in love anymore and he never did.
eventual smut (18+), explicit sexual content later, kissing (soft โ desperate), pinning, size difference, oral sex (mโf), optional oral (fโm), fingers, deep tension-heavy foreplay, praise kink (gentle), light dominance, body worship, breathy whispers, jealous kiss, lingerie moment , aftercare (soft hands, holding, whispered comfort).
no cheating between MCs, no non-con, no dub-con, no minors, no coercion, no toxic manipulation.
โโโ โฆ โก โฆ โโโ
NOTES
โฆ This is a slow burn with emotional depth, soft angst, and adult themes.
โฆ Updates as regularly as possible.
โฆ Reblogs & comments feed my soul โก
Terms & Conditions of You
All the Ways Love Doesnโt Start
MASTERLIST โง NEXT โง PREVIOUS
FMC: June (this is not a reader-insert, can be read as one though limited use of the FMC name)
โLove doesnโt start with fireworks.
Sometimes it starts with whiskey, exhaustion, and a stranger who pretends to be yours.โ
Vibes: whiskey neat ยท dim airport bar ยท tired eyes ยท strangers with chemistry ยท soft danger ยท heartbreak you swallow
Warnings: soft angst, breakup mentions, cheating (ex only), unwanted advances
6k words
โโโโโโโโ โง โโโโโโโโ
โโโโโโโโ โง โโโโโโโโ
Heartbreak,
she decided, looked less like a movie montage and more like an airport terminal at midnight.
The lighting was too bright and somehow still too dim, casting everyone in the bar near Gate 47 in a kind of stale fluorescence. Screens flickered with updated departure times. A baby cried somewhere in the distance. A man at the end of the counter laughed too loudly at something on his phone. The ice in her glass clicked softly each time her hand trembled.
She sat hunched on a cracked leather barstool, her carry-on tucked between her ankles like a small animal she had to protect. The bartender had taken one look at her face, at her windburned cheeks and puffy eyes, and poured whiskey without asking what she wanted. She hadnโt corrected him. Whiskey seemed right. Something blunt and inelegant that burned on the way down.
The drink was golden in the low light, condensation sliding down the sides of the glass. She wrapped both hands around it, letting the chill bite into her fingers before the warmth seeped up into her palms. Her body felt bruised from the inside out, tender in places no one could see.
Iceland had been her idea. A romantic reconnection trip, sheโd called it when she pitched it over takeout one night. Five years together, same apartment, same routines, same coffee orders and grocery lists and Sunday morning habits. The kind of life you built when you believed in โlong-termโ and โseriousโ and โthe right person.โ Sheโd thought the trip would be a celebration of that. Aurora borealis, glacier lagoons, hot springs. The kind of thing you post on Instagram with captions like lucky to do life with you.
She tilted the glass, watching the whiskey catch the light. The memories of the last forty-eight hours pressed against the back of her eyes like a migraine.
She hadnโt been snooping. That was the worst part. Sheโd been looking for the time.
His phone had been on the nightstand, screen face-up, buzzing with a message. Sheโd picked it up to check how late they were running for the tour and the preview had been right there. A name she didnโt recognize. A heart. A sentence that started with I wish you were here instead of her.
Sheโd opened the thread because there was no universe in which she wouldnโt. Scrolled. Seen dates, and pet names, and explicit photos that made her stomach flip for reasons that had nothing to do with desire.
By the time heโd stepped out of the shower, towel around his waist, steam curling into the hotel bedroom, her suitcase was already zipped. Her heart had been beating a strange, steady rhythmโtoo slow for panic, too fast for calm.
โWhat are you doing?โ heโd asked, confused.
โWeโre done,โ sheโd said. Her own voice had surprised her. It hadnโt cracked or wavered. Justโฆ stated the fact.
The rest blurred. His excuses, his stammering, his it didnโt mean anything, his it was a mistake, the way his face had gone slack when he realized she wasnโt going to argue. She hadnโt yelled. Hadnโt demanded explanations. Hadnโt asked him if he loved her, because she suddenly didnโt want to know the answer.
Sheโd changed her flight at the airport, traded their shared itinerary for the first seat back to New York she could get. Sheโd cried in a bathroom stall until her eyes burned and her throat ached and all that was left now was a numb, echoing hollow in her chest.
โAnother?โ the bartender asked, nodding at her glass.
She blinked. There was barely a sip left, just melted ice and a faint amber sheen.
โYeah,โ she said. โSure.โ
He poured. The smell hit her before the taste, sharp and medicinal. She thought about saying something witty, something self-deprecating, something that would make her seem like a woman having an edgy, cinematic meltdown and not someone whose sense of self had quietly cracked in a foreign hotel room. She didnโt have it in her.
Her phone lay face-up on the counter beside the napkin, the black screen reflecting her distorted face. There were two unread emails from her editorโsubject lines containing words like deadline and love column angle?โand a few missed calls from her best friend. She should answer. She couldnโt bring herself to.
It was almost funny. She made a living writing about relationships. Columns about modern dating and long-term commitment and communication and choosing yourself. Sheโd written about red flags like she was a person who would never ignore them. Sheโd offered calm, thoughtful advice to strangers about self-worth and mutual respect and not staying where you werenโt valued.
Apparently she was better at giving advice than taking it.
A quiet shuffle of noise came from two seats down as someone lowered themselves onto a stool. She felt rather than saw the movementโa shift in the air, a new presence settling into the edge of her awareness. She didnโt look straight away. The bar was half full. People came and went. No one here was hers to notice.
But then the newcomer spoke, and the sound of his voice snagged at something in her.
โWhiskey neat,โ he said.
Deep, low, rough at the edgesโlike someone whoโd been speaking too little for too long and had forgotten how to smooth the corners of his words.
Curiosity tugged. She glanced sideways.
He was older than her by at least a decade, maybe more. Forties, if she had to guess. Dark brown curls, overgrown just enough to fall across his forehead in soft waves, with threads of silver glinting near his temples. A strong nose, a mouth set in a line that looked like it had been a smile, once, before something had worn it down. His beard was short, uneven in a way that suggested neglect rather than fashion, salt just beginning to dust through the dark.
He was beautiful, in that specific, adult way that wasnโt about perfection but presence. The kind of face you noticed in a crowd because it had lived things, not because it hadnโt. The kind of man youโd cast in a movie when you wanted the audience to trust him and doubt him at the same time.
His blazer was navy, molded to broad shoulders and a solid chest. His shirt beneath it was a bit rumpled, top buttons undone, the hollow of his throat on display. He looked more like heโd been poured into the clothes than heโd chosen them meticulously today.
The bartender set his drink down. He wrapped long fingers around the glass, knuckles nicked and veined. His wrist peeked from his cuffโwatch expensive but understated, leather strap worn in like he actually used it instead of wearing it as a prop.
He didnโt look at her. His gaze went past the bottles to the mirror behind the bar, then past that, to the row of departure screens reflecting overhead. For a second, she saw his reflection, and the expression he woreโa mix of tired and resignedโfelt familiar. Not the circumstances, but the weight.
Someone whose life had shifted recently, and not in a way that left room for celebration.
She turned back to her drink before he caught her staring.
The barโs noise settled into a low, constant humโthe gentle clink of ice, the scratch of chair legs, murmured conversations, the crackle of a loudspeaker somewhere too far to understand the words but close enough to feel the disruption. The world kept moving at its indifferent pace while hers circled the same small loop: Five years. Messages. Suitcase. Airport. Alone.
A stool scraped against the floor on her other side. Before she could brace, a wave of cologne hit herโtoo strong, chemically sweet, the scent of someone who didnโt know when to stop.
โHey there,โ a voice said, right at her shoulder.
She stiffened.
She turned her head slightly. The man whoโd taken the seat on her right was early thirties, maybe, with a close-trimmed beard and hair gelled into deliberate disarray. His shirt was unbuttoned a little too far, chest on show like a menu item. He smiled like heโd never had to try very hard to get people to smile back.
โYou look like youโve had a long day,โ he said.
โIโm fine,โ she answered, automatic.
He leaned his elbow onto the bar, invading her space by inches. โNo one in an airport bar is fine. Can I get you another?โ
โI already have one.โ She tapped her glass lightly.
โIโll get the next,โ he pushed. โWhat are you drinking?โ
โNo, thank you.โ
He laughed, a little too loud, a sound that made nearby heads turn. โCome on. Donโt say it like that. One drink. I promise Iโm good company.โ
โIโm sure you are,โ she said, keeping her voice even. โBut Iโm not interested.โ
He tilted his head, smile unchanged but eyes cooling. โYou donโt even know me yet.โ
โI donโt need to,โ she said. โPlease. I just want to sit alone.โ
He chuckled again, like it was a game. โYou canโt seriously want to drink alone in an airport.โ
โYes,โ she replied. โI can.โ
He drummed his fingers on the counter, closer to her wrist than she liked. โRough trip?โ
โThatโs none of your business.โ
โBet I could make it better,โ he said.
She stared straight ahead, counting the bottles lined up behind the bar, trying to breathe around the tightness in her chest. It wasnโt that she was afraid of him, she told herself. Or maybe she was, but not in the immediate danger sense. It was the fear of being seen crying. Of getting angry enough that her voice would wobble. Of becoming the hysterical woman people pretended not to look at.
โReally,โ she said, quieter. โPlease stop.โ
โRelax. Iโm just talking to you,โ he said, and then his hand brushed her forearm in a light, possessive touch.
Her whole body flinched.
โDonโt,โ she snapped, the word sharper than she intended.
He blinked, his smile faltering into something harder. โJesus. Iโm being nice.โ
She moved slightly away on her stool, putting a sliver more distance between them. The bar suddenly felt too small, the air too thin.
On her left, the man in the navy blazer was still there. She could see him in the corner of her vision, still and quiet, his gaze no longer on the screens but fractionally angled toward them. Watching. Not intervening. Not yet.
She swallowed, fingers digging into the damp curve of her glass.
โSeriously,โ she tried once more. โLeave me alone.โ
โCome on, sweetheart,โ the man said, and that word, from his mouth, made her stomach twist. โDonโt be like that. Just talk to me for a bit. Youโll thank me.โ
She thought, wildly, that she could throw her drink in his face. She thought she could call the bartender over and make a scene. She thought about the way her ex had looked at her when sheโd calmly told him it was over, like sheโd taken away his script.
She did not want another man to look at her like she was the problem.
โHey.โ
The new voice slipped into the space like a hand sliding into hersโsteady, low, and warm.
She turned.
The man from the other stool had moved. She hadnโt heard him stand, hadnโt registered his approach until he was right there beside her, close enough that she could see the faint lines at the corners of his eyes, the slight roughness of his skin. The scent of him was different from the cloying cologne on her rightโclean, a hint of something woody and warm under airplane air and tiredness.
He rested his free hand on the back of her chair. He didnโt touch her, didnโt grip, just placed his palm there, casual but unmistakable, creating a line between her and the man at her side.
โThere you are,โ he said to her, the words flavored with the kind of relief people used when they finally spotted someone in a crowd.
Her heart jumped. The bar, the noise, the creep on her rightโall of it blurred briefly.
โI thought I lost you,โ he added, and there was a little smile now, something dry and familiar curling his mouth. โThey keep moving the gates.โ
It took a single heartbeat for her to understand.
He was pretending.
Her pulse hammered. Her first instinct was disbelief, the second gratitude, the thirdโinsane as it wasโwas that he was even more dangerously attractive up close. The planes and the fluorescent lights and the hollow ache in her chest made it feel like a strange, detached dream.
He held her gaze. There was a question in his eyes, not assumption. He needed her to step into the lie.
โSorry,โ she heard herself say. Her voice sounded steadier than she felt. โI gotโฆ distracted.โ
The man on her right frowned. โWho are you?โ
Navy blazer man didnโt look at him. His attention stayed on her, soft and grounding.
โYou okay?โ he asked her quietly, the words meant for her, not for the performance.
She nodded. โI am now.โ
Only then did he turn his head to acknowledge the other man, the shift in his posture subtle but unmistakable. He didnโt square his shoulders, didnโt puff up, didnโt turn this into some kind of alpha showdown. He justโฆ existed. Calmly. Fully.
โIโm her boyfriend,โ he said, voice smooth and matter-of-fact, as if this wasnโt a lie heโd come up with thirty seconds ago.
The word slid through her with an unexpected jolt. Not the content, but the way he said itโnothing in it for himself, no bragging, no staking a claim. Just simple, functional, effective.
The guy snorted. โShe didnโt say she had a boyfriend.โ
Navy blazer man lifted one eyebrow, expression flattening into something almost amused. โShe said she wasnโt interested.โ
โSo?โ
โSo that shouldโve been enough,โ he replied, tone still pleasant. โYou donโt need a reason to listen to no.โ
The other man bristled. โI was just being nice.โ
He shrugged. โBe nice somewhere else.โ
There was a moment where everything held still. She felt like she was watching a scene play out underwaterโthe distant hum of the bar, the lights stinging at her eyes, the two men on either side of her coiled in vastly different energies.
Then the younger man scoffed, clearly weighing his options and finding no way to win without looking ridiculous.
โWhatever,โ he muttered. โHave fun with your little drama.โ
He grabbed his bag, shoulder bumping the stool as he stormed away. She exhaled a breath she hadnโt realized sheโd been holding until now, her fingers loosening around the glass.
For a beat, the man beside her kept his hand where it was, on the back of her chair, in case the creep turned back. When it was clear he was gone, he eased back a step, letting his palm fall, reclaiming his own stool one seat over.
He didnโt look triumphant. Justโฆ relieved.
โThank you,โ she said, turning toward him. The words didnโt feel big enough but they were all she had. โI reallyโthank you. I owe you one.โ
He shook his head. โYou donโt owe me anything.โ
โI do,โ she insisted, something fierce slipping into her voice now that the adrenaline had somewhere to go. โI didnโt know how to make him stop withoutโฆ breaking apart. So. Yeah. I owe you.โ
He studied her for a moment, then inclined his head, accepting that not because he agreed, but because he understood she needed to give something back.
โOkay,โ he said quietly. โThen letโs say you bought me five minutes of conversation.โ
A small, startled laugh escaped her. It felt rusty, like it hadnโt been used in days. โFive minutes?โ
โFive,โ he confirmed. โAfter that, we can go back to pretending weโre strangers in the same bar.โ
She considered him. The lines framing his mouth, the exhaustion in his eyes, the gentle steadiness in his voice. Five minutes seemed a small price for what heโd just done for her.
โDeal,โ she said. โBut youโre going to need to talk, not just stare into your drink like it personally offended you.โ
That drew a real smile out of him, quick and bright, sharpening every angle of his face in a way that made her embarrassingly aware of how handsome he really was. It softened almost immediately, like smiles werenโt something he trusted to stay.
โIโll try to rein in my bad habits,โ he said.
He took the stool beside hers this time, leaving a respectful space between them but clearly, intentionally choosing her company. His carry-on sat by his feet, scuffed leather and a worn baggage tag. Up close, she could see how tired he wasโnot just the shallow tired of travel, but the deeper one that hollowed out a person from their center.
โYou all right?โ he asked again. It wasnโt a filler question. He really wanted to know.
She could lie. Say yes and leave it at that. But honesty felt strangely easier with someone whose life sheโd never have to live with later.
โNo,โ she said. โBut I will be. Eventually.โ
He nodded once. โThatโs more than most people can say at an airport bar.โ
She huffed out a breath. โWhat about you? You looked like you were ready to start a staring contest with your own reflection before you jumped in.โ
A faint, crooked line tugged at his mouth. โRough week,โ he admitted.
โSame,โ she said.
He glanced at her glass. โIceland?โ
She blinked. โHow did you know that?โ
He nodded toward the boarding passes sticking out of her open tote bag, half-covered by her scarf. โKEF to JFK. Reykjavik to New York.โ
She looked down, then back at him. โSo youโre observant.โ
โOccupational hazard,โ he said.
โOf what?โ
He hesitated. โFinance.โ
She made a face. โThatโs vague.โ
โPrivate equity,โ he clarified, like that might somehow sound better.
โOh,โ she said dryly. โSo you buy things and ruin them.โ
He laughedโreally laughed this time, head tilting back for a second, eyes creasing. It did something unpleasantly pleasant to her insides.
โThatโs one way to put it,โ he said. โYou donโt like finance?โ
โI donโt like people who talk about finance at parties,โ she said. โBut you havenโt tried to explain the market to me yet, so maybe thereโs hope.โ
โGive me time,โ he murmured. โWeโve only just met.โ
There was something in the way he said it that made it feelโฆ heavier. Like he wasnโt just commenting on this moment, but on a larger truth neither of them knew yet.
She cleared her throat, suddenly aware of the way her heart had picked up.
โYou were in Iceland too?โ she asked.
โYeah.โ He traced the rim of his glass with one slow thumb, his eyes lowered. โLong enough to remember what silence feels like.โ
โVacation?โ she pressed gently.
He paused, weighing the truth. She recognized the lookโthe quiet debate of what a stranger should know.
โNot exactly,โ he said. โI went there after a breakup.โ
She softened. โIโm sorry.โ
He shook his head immediately. โIt wasnโt that kind of breakup. Lucy and Iโฆ we werenโt together long. A few months. It looked like it shouldโve worked, so we kept showing up and hoping it would eventually feel like something.โ
She watched him carefully, taking in the subtle tension in his jaw.
โDid it?โ she asked.
โNo,โ he said simply. โIt didnโt. We were both smart enough to admit it.โ
โWhat happened?โ
He lifted one shoulder in a small, quiet shrug. โShe realized she still loved her ex. Loved him the way people write songs about. The way people make stupid decisions for. And she wanted to try again with him.โ
โDid that hurt?โ she asked softly.
He thought about it for only a second. โNo. Because I never wanted her like that. I liked her. She liked me. But it wasโฆ polite. Functional. Nothing you fight for.โ
โAnd you still went to Iceland?โ she asked.
โAlready booked,โ he said. โAnd honestly? I needed the time alone. A week with no meetings, no expectations, no one asking why I didnโt feel more than I felt. Iceland seemed like the kind of place where no one cares if youโre quiet.โ
There was no bitterness in his voice.
But there was something else.
A strange, soft honesty she hadnโt expected from a man who looked so solid.
She exhaled slowly. โSometimes I wonder which is worseโfinding out thereโs too much feeling, or finding out thereโs none.โ
He studied her profile. โWhich did you get?โ
โToo much,โ she said. โJust not pointed at me.โ
He didnโt flinch. Didnโt look away. โHe cheated.โ
She nodded, throat thick. โFor months, apparently.โ
โI am sorry,โ he said again, and she believed him.
She swirled the whiskey in her glass, watching the melt of ice dilute the amber. โDo you believe in love?โ she asked suddenly. โThe big kind. The terrifying, world-shifting, everyone-writes-poems-about-it kind.โ
He didnโt answer immediately. His jaw flexed, a muscle ticking once, twice.
โNo,โ he said at last. โI donโt.โ
The simple honesty of it startled her.
โNever?โ she asked.
He shrugged, shoulders rolling under the blazer. โIโve had relationships. Good ones, by most measures. Comfort. Loyalty. Affection. Iโve cared about people. Iโve wanted them safe, wanted them happy. But Iโve never felt thatโฆ thing people describe. The all-consuming wave that rearranges your insides.โ
โYou think it doesnโt exist?โ she asked.
โI think itโs rare,โ he said. โRare enough that most people call whatever they have โloveโ because admitting theyโve never felt it is too lonely.โ He paused. โAnd I think Iโm not built for it.โ
Something about thatโhis quiet certainty, his resignationโhurt more than her own story.
โThat soundsโฆโ She searched for the word. โSad.โ
He gave a small, crooked smile. โSad would suggest Iโve lost something. You have to have something first for it to be gone.โ
She looked away, back at the rows of bottles, glass reflecting glass. โI used to believe in it,โ she said quietly. โLove. The ridiculous, messy, inconvenient kind. I built a career on it. On helping other people believe in it too.โ
โYouโre a writer,โ he said, not a question.
She blinked, surprised. โHow do you know that?โ
He gestured with his chin toward her tote. โLaptop, printed pages, a planner with color-coded tabs, and a copy of a book about attachment styles. You either write about relationships or youโre a very dedicated overthinker.โ
โBoth,โ she admitted.
โThat tracks,โ he said, a hint of warmth in his tone.
โI write a column,โ she added. โAbout love and modern dating and all the ways people try and fail to make it work.โ
โAnd yet,โ he said softly, โno one taught him not to screw it up.โ
Her throat burned. โI donโt know if he ever believed in the same version I did.โ
โWhat version was that?โ he asked.
She thought about it. Thought about all the lines sheโd given strangers on the internet, all the words sheโd used to convince people to leave bad relationships and trust theyโd find better.
โMore than convenience,โ she said slowly. โMore than habit. More than someone liking the way it feels to be loved. I always thought real love meantโฆ choosing each other. On purpose. Over and over. Even when itโs not easy.โ
โAnd he didnโt choose you,โ Harry said.
The way he said itโgently, without dramaโmade the truth land cleaner than any of the stories sheโd spun in her head.
โNo,โ she said. โHe chose someone else.โ
For a moment the silence between them felt fragile, thin as glass. Then he shifted, just enough that his shoulder almost brushed hers, warmth radiating in the inch of air between them.
โThatโs not on you,โ he said. โThatโs on him.โ
It shouldnโt have meant as much as it did, hearing it from a stranger. But her body seemed to unclench a fraction. The words hooked onto something raw inside her, anchoring it.
โI believed in something that wasnโt real,โ she managed.
โYou believed in your own capacity,โ he countered. โHeโs the one who stood in front of it and said, โThatโs all I have to offer.โ That has nothing to do with the size of what you had to give.โ
She stared at him, throat thick. โYouโre weirdly good at this for someone who claims he doesnโt believe in love.โ
โI donโt believe in it for me,โ he said. โI believe other people feel it. They look like they do. But I stand in front of it and feelโฆ nothing. Like pressing my palm against the glass of someone elseโs life.โ
A gate announcement cut through the bar, calling a boarding group for a completely different flight. He checked the screen automatically, then his watch. Not yet.
She watched the way he moved, the faint stiffness in his shoulders, the air of a man whoโd spent the last few years holding other peopleโs expectations up until his arms gave out. He had the worn-in charisma of someone who probably handled rooms and investors and tense negotiations without breaking a sweat. It made his quiet now feel heavier, more intimate.
โYou said you had a favor,โ she reminded him, when the silence had stretched into something thoughtful rather than awkward.
He let out a breath, his gaze dropping briefly to the water he still hadnโt finished. โRight.โ
โIf itโs something insane,โ she said, โyou should know Iโm fresh off the worst trip of my life. My bar for sanity is very low.โ
โThatโs encouraging,โ he said dryly. โFor what itโs worth, I think itโs only mildly insane.โ
โGo on,โ she said.
He traced the rim of his glass again, the motion small, grounding. When he looked up at her this time, there was something almost vulnerable in his expression. Not in a performative way, not in a wounded bird way. Justโฆ bare.
โMy ex,โ he said. โLucy. Sheโs getting married next month.โ
Her brows lifted. โThat was fast.โ
โIt was inevitable,โ he said. โSheโd been halfway in love with him for a while. We both pretended not to see it. It made ending things easier in some ways.โ
โStill,โ she said. โThat soundsโฆ a lot.โ
โIt is,โ he admitted. โOur friends are all going. Her family. Some of my colleagues. Itโs going to be an event.โ
โAnd youโre invited,โ she guessed.
โI promised Iโd be there.โ He shrugged, the movement small, heavy. โIt matters to her. Closure, symbolism, whatever you want to call it. I keep my promises, even when theyโre uncomfortable.โ
She sat back a little, turning her glass between her palms. โYou donโt have to go alone,โ she said, then caught herself. โSorry. Obviously thatโs the problem.โ
He gave a half-smile. โExactly. Everyone assumes I will show up solo. And thatโsโฆ fine. Functionally. But I know how itโll look. The man who didnโt believe in love at his exโs wedding, applauding politely from the corner, alone.โ
โAnd that bothers you,โ she said.
โIt bothers me that Iโll spend the entire night being looked at like a cautionary tale,โ he said. โOr worse, like a sympathetic one.โ
She could picture itโpeople glancing at him over champagne flutes, whispering into each otherโs ears. Poor Harry. Couldnโt love her enough. Hope heโs okay. Did you hear he went to Iceland with her after they broke up? Sheโd been on both sides of those conversations.
โSo whatโs the favor?โ she asked again, gently.
He met her eyes, and there it wasโthat flicker of something reckless.
โYou come with me,โ he said. โAs my date.โ
The words hung between them, absurd and weirdly logical all at once.
She stared at him. โIโwhat?โ
He didnโt rush to fill the space, didnโt backtrack. He just held her gaze, as if giving her time to reject the idea outright.
โYou said you owe me,โ he reminded her softly. โOne favor. One drink. Five minutes of conversation. Iโmโฆ amending the terms.โ
She laughed, a startled sound with no real amusement in it. โThatโs not an amendment, thatโs a hostile takeover.โ
His mouth curved. โI work in private equity. We donโt really do gentle negotiations.โ
โThatโs not funny,โ she said, fighting the urge to smile anyway.
โItโs a little funny,โ he argued.
She shook her head, trying to clear it. โYou want to take a complete stranger to your exโs wedding.โ
โBelieve me, I am fully aware of how insane it sounds,โ he said. โBut think about it. You and Iโฆ weโre in similar places. You donโt believe in the thing you built your life around. I never believed in it and just had that fact rubbed in my face in high definition. Neither of us is exactly thriving. One night of pretending we are? Could beโฆ useful.โ
โUseful,โ she echoed flatly.
โYouโd get a good story out of it,โ he pointed out. โYouโre a columnist. Tell me your editor wouldnโt salivate over โI Went to a Wedding as a Strangerโs Fake Girlfriend and It Broke My Brain.โโ
She hated that he was not wrong.
โYouโd have an open bar, decent food, music, somewhere to wear something that isnโt rated for sub-zero temperatures,โ he continued. โIโd have someone beside me so people stop looking at me like a failed experiment.โ
โYou could bring a friend,โ she said.
He tilted his head. โDo you want to go to your exโs wedding with someone who knows every version of you? Or with someone who owes you absolutely nothing and will never see any of those people again?โ
She hesitated. Imagined her best friend gripping her hand in a bathroom while she ugly cried. Imagined being the sobbing mess in a room full of people who knew exactly how long sheโd been with her ex, exactly how much sheโd invested, exactly what sheโd lost.
โFair point,โ she admitted.
โIโm not asking you to save me,โ he said. โJust to stand next to me for a few hours, dance once or twice, laugh at my bad jokes if you can bear it, and make some rich people who barely know me assume Iโve moved on spectacularly.โ
She found herself tracing the rim of her glass the way he had been, the condensation damp against her fingertip.
โAnd what do I get?โ she asked. โBesides a story and free champagne.โ
โOne night,โ he said. โWhere youโre not the woman who got cheated on in Iceland. Where nobody knows his name or what he did. Where youโre justโฆ someoneโs plus one who looks too good in a dress and is slightly out of his league.โ
Her chest squeezed. โFlattery is cheap.โ
โItโs not flattery,โ he said. โIโd be punching well above my weight, and we both know it.โ
Heat crept up her neck, inconvenient and annoying.
โThis is insane,โ she said, more to herself than to him.
โI agree,โ he said easily. โBut itโs the kind of insane that might feel better than whatever we were both going to be doing that night instead.โ
She imagined it without meaning to. A venue somewhere out of the city, lights strung over a lawn. A woman she didnโt know in a dress sheโd never wear, walking down an aisle toward the man sheโd chosen. Harry standing somewhere at the back, hands in his pockets, watching with that quiet, resigned expression.
And then she imagined him not alone. Imagined herself beside him, her hand looped through his arm, the two of them an odd, temporary partnership built on scars and performance.
โYou donโt know me,โ she said.
โExactly,โ he replied. โThereโs something freeing about that, isnโt there?โ
She thought about the last five years. How predictable sheโd become. How known. How every fight had felt like a rerun of a show she was tired of watching. There was a sharp, inconvenient appeal in the idea of being unknown. Of playing a part that didnโt require her to be the most wounded person in the room.
Her flight number blinked on the screen above the bar, still delayed, buying her more time to make a choice she probably shouldnโt be making.
โThis would be a one-time thing,โ she said carefully.
โYes.โ
โNoโฆ follow-up.โ Her cheeks heated at the implication, and she rolled her eyes at herself. โNo expectation ofโฆ anything.โ
He held up one hand as if taking an oath. โNo expectation of anything except that you donโt leave me alone at the table for more than ten consecutive minutes.โ
โYouโre very nonchalant about asking a strange woman to be your human shield,โ she said.
โIโm not nonchalant,โ he said. โIโm hoping youโll say yes and prepared for you to say no. Both things can be true.โ
She searched his face thenโreally searched it. The tired lines. The sincerity. The reckless edge. The lack of calculation in his eyes. If he were trying to manipulate her, heโd be smoother. If he were trying to pick her up, heโd be sleazier. He didnโt feel like either.
He felt like a man standing at the edge of something, not sure whether he wanted to step back or jump.
โThatโs a big favor,โ she said finally.
โYou can think about it,โ he offered. โIโll give you my number. You can block me as soon as we leave this bar if you decide Iโm a terrible idea. But if you say no right now, youโre going to sit on that plane and wonder why you didnโt at least consider it.โ
He was right. She hated that.
She stared down at her hands, the small half-moon indents her nails had left in her palm. The version of herself who had booked Iceland would have said no. The version who just survived Iceland wasnโt entirely sure what she was capable of now.
โFine,โ she said, the word feeling a little like jumping. โOkay. Iโllโฆ consider it. Tentatively.โ
His mouth curved into a real smile this time, bright enough that she understood instinctively that not many people got to see it.
โIโll take tentatively,โ he said. He pulled his phone from his pocket, unlocked it, and slid it over to her. โNumber?โ
She hesitated just long enough to feel like she was making a choice and not just being carried by momentum. Then she typed it in, added her name, and, after a split second of wicked impulse, tagged on a last name in the contact field: Airport Mistake.
He glanced at the screen, huffed out a laugh. โThatโs harsh.โ
โAccurate,โ she said.
He saved it and handed the phone back, then gestured for hers. She passed it over, heart hammering far more than it had any right to. His fingers were quick on the screen. A second later, he returned it.
A new contact blinked up at her: Harry โ Bad Idea.
โFairโs fair,โ he said.
She looked from the name to him. Harry. It fit, weirdly. Strong, simple, unfussy.
She realized, with a small jolt, that in all of this, they hadnโt actually exchanged names properly.
โYou just asked me to be your date to your exโs wedding,โ she said slowly. โI donโt even know your last name.โ
He lifted one shoulder. โCastillo.โ
โHarry Castillo,โ she repeated, letting the syllables roll in her mouth. Somehow, it made him feel more real. โYou know thatโs not helping the movie logic of this situation, right?โ
He smiled, lines fanning out at the corners of his eyes. โIf it helps, I also file quarterly taxes and have lower back pain. Thatโs about as unromantic as it gets.โ
She snorted, then bit back another smile. โDebatable.โ
Overhead, the loudspeaker crackled to life again, announcing pre-boarding for their flight. Passengers began to gather their things, scraping chairs, tugging suitcases upright.
He glanced at the gate, then back at her.
โIโll text you the details tomorrow,โ he said. โYou donโt have to say yes. You donโt have to respond at all. Butโฆ if you think you might want one night where you get to be someone else, even just a little, Iโll be there.โ
She swallowed. โThis is insane,โ she said again, quietly.
โProbably,โ he agreed. His gaze softened. โBut insane hasnโt worked out that badly for me so far. Rational decisions are the ones that got me on a breakup trip to Iceland with my ex.โ
He stood, lifting his carry-on handle. For a moment he just watched her, something unreadable in his eyes.
โGet some sleep,โ he said. โAnd eat something that isnโt bar nuts.โ
โYes, Dad,โ she said, then winced. โSorry. That wasโโ
He laughed, shaking his head. โTragic. You can do better.โ
She found herself smiling despite everything. โI usually can.โ
He took a step backward, movements unhurried even as the lane at the gate began to fill, boarding groups clustering in their small, impatient huddles.
โGoodnightโฆ columnist,โ he said.
She hesitated. โGoodnightโฆ emotionally incompetent finance guy.โ
He gave her one last look, something like a promise in it that neither of them was qualified to make, then turned and joined the slow-moving queue at the gate.
She watched him until the line swallowed him, until he handed over his boarding pass, until the navy blazer disappeared down the jet bridge.
Only when she couldnโt see him anymore did she look down at her phone.
One new message blinked up on the screen.
Unknown: Donโt panic yet. Itโs just a wedding.
A second later:
Harry โ Bad Idea: (But if youโre going to panic, do it in a dress you love.)
She stared at the texts, thumb hovering over the keyboard. A laugh bubbled up in her chest, startling in its softness.
She typed back before she could think better of it.
Airport Mistake: Weโll see.
She set the phone face-down on the bar, took a steadying breath, and glanced up at the departure board.
Her flight number glowed on the screen, boarding group creeping closer.
It was supposed to be just one night, she told herself.
One night pretending to be someone else. One night standing next to a man who didnโt believe in love when she wasnโt sure she did anymore either.
Just one night.
She had no idea how dangerous that could be.
โโโโโโโโ โง โโโโโโโโ
a/n: I wasnโt planning to write this, but Harry Castillo in a navy blazer lives rent-free in my brain, so here we are. Slow burn + emotional damage incoming.
i get so happy whenever mutuals talk to me like OH MY GOD you are talking to me!!๐ฅน
THE GHOST OF YOU
โฆ chapter one โฆ
"I still sing it. Thought maybe you'd hear it again someday."
Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader
Word Count: ~3k (est.)
Warnings: Post-apocalyptic grief, canon violence (wounds, blood), deep emotional angst, vivid memory recall, haunting imagery, hallucination sequence, themes of abandonment and longing, musical memory, separation, guilt, survivor's sorrow, reunion tease, Joel Miller being quietly destroyed by love, and reader humming a melody that never leaves him.
Summary:You and Joel Miller survived the outbreak together โ until the world tore you apart. He never found your body. Never stopped hearing your voice. And even years later, with his hands stained and his heart hollowed, Joel can still hear the melody you used to hum through the quiet. From Boston to Bill's house, through fevers and guilt and half-spoken dreams, he chases the sound like a ghost. Until one day... someone else starts humming it. And everything changes.
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
Here I am waking up...
The house was still, that rare kind of stillness that only came before dawnโsoft light sliding across the kitchen tiles, birds not yet daring to call. Joel leaned against the doorframe, broad shoulders hunched, a mug of coffee cooling in his hands.
You were at the counter in his old Zeppelin shirt, sleeves rolled to your elbows, humming under your breath as you rinsed the dishes. The tune wasn't from the radio. It wasn't from anywhere. It was yours. He didn't know the full words, only that it lived in you like a quiet heartbeat and came out when you thought no one was listening.
He watched the steam curl off your coffee. The lipstick stain on the rim was fading, same as it had every morning this week. Same cup. Same ritual. It had become a quiet anchor for him in a world that felt like it was beginning to tilt. Outside, the news was noise about strange infections in faraway cities, but here, in this kitchen, there was only the hum of your melody and the smell of fresh coffee.
"'S that the same one you always sing?" Joel's voice was low, still wrapped in sleep. He didn't move from the doorway, just watched you.
You smiled over your shoulder without looking at him. "Depends what you mean by 'same.' I make it up as I go. It's a little... mutable."
He tried to smile back, but it came out crooked. "Sounds real," he said. "Like somethin' you'd hear on the radio."
"It's not." You reached for another plate, your fingers slick with soap. "It's just a little ghost of a song. Keeps me from thinking too much."
He set his mug down, the soft click against the table sounding loud in the quiet. The sunlight caught the lines at the corners of his eyes, making him look both older and softer at once. He crossed the room, slow, deliberate, boots quiet against the tile. He always moved that way with youโlike he didn't want to spook the moment.
You felt him come up behind you before you heard him. His warmth at your back. His hands braced on the edge of the sink, bracketing you but not quite touching. "Sing it again," he murmured.
You did. You hummed the verseโSo I drown it out like I always do... dancing through our house with the ghost of youโsoft and low, the way you did when you thought you were alone. He closed his eyes and let the sound sink into him. He didn't know the lyrics. He didn't have to. He had you.
You shut off the tap and turned, still holding the dish towel, damp between your fingers. "Joel."
He looked down at you, that unreadable expression he wore when something mattered too much. "Yeah?"
"If things get loud out there," you said, your voice barely a whisper, "don't let the noise change you."
His brow furrowed. "Don't plan on it."
You reached up, smoothing a stray lock of dark hair from his foreheadโa gesture of such intimate familiarity it made his chest ache. "I don't know," you laughed lightly, though your eyes were serious. "You forget everything else."
Joel shook his head once, a decisive, definitive move. "Not this. Not you."
You smiledโa small, quiet smile, the kind he'd remember later when there was nothing left to hold. You brushed past him to put the towel on the counter, your shoulder grazing his chest. He caught the scent of your shampoo, the warmth of your skin, the sound of that unfinished melody still hanging between you.
He wanted to say more. To tell you he liked the mornings like this, with your song instead of silence. To tell you it made the hollow ache in his chest go quiet. But Joel Miller wasn't a man of many words.
So he just reached out and caught your wrist as you passed, a gentle, hard squeeze, a silent promise. "Ain't no way in hell I'd forget you."
You tilted your head, eyes soft. "Then remember this," you whispered, and hummed the tune once more, just for him.
And Joel did. He stood there, coffee going cold, while you moved through the kitchen with that ghost of a song, and tried to memorize the sound before the world took it away
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
The Lipstick Stain Fades With Time
The QZ was louder than the outbreak ever was.
Not in volumeโthat had been all screams and sirens and shattering glass. This was different. This was a noise that lived under the skin: the buzz of tension, the snap of boots on pavement, the hollow clang of fences being checked twice, three times.
It had been four days since the Highway 1 patrol.
The mission was simple: two trucks, in tandem, securing a route outside the perimeter. You had been in the trailing truck, his eyes fixed on your vehicle's dust cloud through the back window of his own. But then, it happenedโnot a breakdown, but a sudden, violent eruption of chaos. A series of IEDs went off near a choke point, followed by the metallic rasp of automatic gunfire.
His truck was immediately ordered to accelerate and secure the far side of the breach. He remembered screaming into the comms, demanding to know the status of the second truck.
The only reply was static, then an officer's cold, clipped order: "Second unit is compromised. Secure your objective, Miller. They're rerouting survivors to Boston South."
Compromised. The word was a clean, bureaucratic knife. It left no room for hope or for a body.
He hadn't slept. Not really. He stayed near the main gate, near Tommy, near the spot you were supposed to be. Every coat, every silhouette, every face not yours was a punch to the ribs.
You'd been right behind him. He remembered your hand in his, knuckles white as the truck jerked forward. You hadn't been scared, but you'd hummed anyway. That same little tune. A thread of melody, barely audible over the engine and the radio static. Your voice, anchoring him.
Dancing through our house with the ghost of you...
He could still hear it. Especially now.
"Joel."
Tommy's voice pulled him back. His brother stood at the base of the stairs, jaw tight.
"You gotta come in. They're locking down for the night."
Joel shook his head, eyes flicking back to the fence. "Not yet."
"She was in the last truck, Joel," Tommy said, stepping closer. "Could be she took cover, slipped out, and is halfway to a safe house. She's smart. She'll find her way back."
"Or gone," Joel's voice was flat. Heavy. "Could be she's gone."
Tommy exhaled, but before he could speak again, the silence of the city pressed in.
Thenโfaint.
Too faint.
But real.
A hum.
Not from the street. Not from the gate.
From memory.
So I drown it out like I always do...
It hit him in the chest like a punch. The way your voice curled around that line. Not sad. Not afraid. Just soft. Accepting.
He remembered the last clear sight he had: you looking back through the rear window of the truck, meeting his eyes. And you'd smiled. Then you'd put your hand to your chest and hummed one last note before the turn in the roadโand the sound of the explosionโswallowed you whole.
He sat on the stairs, the concrete cold through his jeans, and closed his eyes.
Tommy said something elseโsomething about food, about rest, about moving onโbut Joel didn't hear it.
Because you were gone.
Because when he tried to hum it himself, the melody got caught in his throat.
Because Joel Miller never remembered the lyrics.
But he remembered you.
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
So I drown it out like I always do...
The sun was low when they reached Bill's houseโcasting long, dusty fingers of gold across the hollow shell of what had once been a dining room. Joel stood in the open doorway, hand still on the frame, like if he moved too far in, the walls might remember and mourn. It was too quiet.
He stepped inside. Ellie walked ahead, boots crunching softly over papers.
Joel's eyes scanned the roomโthe table set, half-finished, two glasses on the counter, water long evaporated. Time had made everything soft at the edges. Time and grief.
And that's when he saw it.
Foldedโor maybe just dropped, hastilyโacross the back of a dusty armchair: Your shirt.
The old Zeppelin one. Black. Threadbare. Frayed at the collar where you used to pull it loose. Joel's breath hitched. His feet carried him across the floor before his mind caught up.
He picked it up like it was glass. The cotton was stiff with dust, but a faint, ghost of a familiar scentโsoap, or maybe just the air you used to breatheโclung to it. He knew it like he knew his own hands. The left sleeve still had that slight tear from the QZ fences.
Joel swallowed hard.
There was something underneath it.
Tucked beneath the cushion.
A small notebookโfaded green, warped from moisture. When he opened it, his heart stilled. The margins were full of little doodles and lyricsโsome familiar, some twisted, half-finished. Pieces of that old tune, the one you used to hum in his kitchen.
So I drown it out like I always do...
Dancing through our house with the ghost of you...
Joel ran a calloused thumb over the ink.
You'd been here. You were alive then. Close enough to touch the air he was breathing now.
His hand shook.
On the last page, in smudged pencil, you'd written one line:
Tell him I still sing it.
Joel closed the notebook. Pressed it to his chest like a shield.
He didn't say anything when Ellie came back into the room, chewing on a protein bar. She paused when she saw his face, the notebook clutched in his hand.
"You good?" she asked, cautious.
He nodded once. "Fine."
But he wasn't.
Because your shirt was in his hands. Your voice was in his ears. And your song was still moving through the dust like it knew the way back.
Joel sat down with your notebook in his lap, back against the armchair and hummed the only song he remembered that didn't have a name.
And I chase it down with a shot of truth...
Time didn't move right when you were dying.
Joel had lived through gunshots and heartbreak, but this was different. This was slow. Sticky. A crawl through darkness so thick it tasted like iron and smoke.
The ringing was constant. His fever was a roaring inferno in his skull.
But your voice?
That was new.
At first, he thought it was Ellieโbut the edges were too soft. Too familiar. You were humming that same damn melody.
Joel blinked into the haze. The cabin's ceiling loomed above him like a closing tomb. His side pulsed in rhythm with his heartbeat, hot and wet and heavy.
Then your silhouette appeared.
Kneeling beside him in the dim light, hair tucked behind your ears, wearing that old hoodie of his that used to swallow you whole.
Your fingers brushed his temple. "Joel."
He flinched. The heat of your touch felt too real for a dream.
"You always did find the worst places to bleed," you murmured, your voice a silken thread against the ringing.
He swallowed. Tried to lift his hand. Couldn't. "You're notโ"
"Shh." Your smile was tired. Sad. "I'm here now."
Joel closed his eyes. Just to feel it.
"I've been hearing you," he rasped. "That song. Everywhere."
"You never remembered the lyrics," you whispered.
"I remember you," he said. "That's enough."
"I thought you were dead," he choked out.
You leaned inโso close he could smell the Sunday morning soap you used to steal from his bathroom. "I'm not. Not yet."
"But you left."
"Not by choice."
"Are you real?" he asked, the words scraping his throat.
You smiled again, and this time, it reached your eyes. "Does it matter?"
He opened his mouth to answer.
But you were gone.
The cabin was quiet. No humming. No warmth. Only the searing throb in his gut and the crunch of snow outside as Ellie burst through the door, hands full of medicine.
"Joel! Heyโstay with me, you stubborn bastard."
He didn't speak. He was too busy trying to remember the way your voice sounded on that last note.
The ghost of it lingered in the corners of the room, soft as smoke.
And Joelโbroken and burningโchased it down like he always did.
With a shot of truth.
You were never really gone. You just lived in the parts of him no one else could touch.
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
That my feet don't dance like they did with you...
The sun was sinking behind the mountains when Joel heard it.
Just a faint melody at firstโbarely more than a hum carried by the wind. He'd been walking the outskirts of Jackson, trailing behind the stables where the grass grew patchy and quiet. His legs ached, and his chest was tighter than usual. Tighter since Salt Lake. Since the lie.
But the soundโit stopped him cold.
It came from near the communal fire pit, where a handful of teenagers were gathered. A girl had a guitar in her lapโa battered old thing, strings barely holding tuneโand she was playing a soft, drifting song.
Not loud. Not polished.
But unmistakable.
Joel froze.
The chords weren't exact, but the melodyโthe melodyโit hit him like a fist to the gut.
Your song.
He walked slowly toward the fire pit, boots crunching over the gravel, his eyes fixed on the guitar. He waited, motionless, until the girl finished the verse.
When she lifted her head, he cleared his throat. "That tune," he said, his voice flat and controlled. "Where'd you learn it?"
She shrugged, unfazed. "Lady who stayed here last month. Before you came back."
Joel's blood went ice cold.
"She teach it to you?"
The girl nodded. "Yeah. Said it helped her sleep." She tilted her head, curious at his intensity. "She said it was just a little thing. Not a real song."
Joel's throat clenched. He stood too quickly. "Do you know her name?" His voice was a tight coil, barely leashed.
Before the girl could answer, Tommy's voice came from behind him, soft but firm.
"Joel."
Joel turned, his expression wild, raw. "You knew."
Tommy hesitated, the guilt already crawling up his face. "She asked for privacy, Joel. I was honoring her choice."
"Bullshit." Joel took a step forward. "You let me walk around this town every goddamn day thinkin' she was dead. You heard me."
"She didn't want to be found," Tommy insisted, his own frustration rising. "She stayed a few weeks. Helped fix up the armory. Said she had reasons for leavin' it all behind. Said she was trying to start over. Away from the... the ruins."
"You don't understand," Joel muttered, his pace frantic. "That songโshe used to sing it. It's the only goddamn thing I got left of her. I've been hearin' it in my sleep, Tommy. Every night."
Tommy sighed deeply, reaching into his coat. "I figured you'd hear it eventually."
He pulled out a folded note. No envelope. Just his name on the outside, in handwriting Joel hadn't seen in years.
He opened it. His vision blurred over the single line.
I still sing it. Thought maybe you'd hear it again someday.
There was no signature.
There didn't need to be.
Joel folded the note with shaking hands, slid it deep into his chest pocket, and looked out at the edge of the valley. The wind picked up, carrying the distant scent of pine.
"Tommy," he said quietly, his voice dangerously even.
"Yeah?"
"Where'd she go?"
Tommy didn't ask why. Didn't try to stop him. He just looked toward the distant ridge, toward the west.
Joel nodded once, jaw set like stone. He didn't look at the fire. He didn't look at Tommy.
And without another word, he walked toward the stables, already thinking about the next horse. The next town. The next place your voice might be waiting.
He was chasing the song.
Chasing you. Again.
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
Now with 5SOS coming back out with a new album, I have been throwing back into my 2014 era days. (To be fair I think my writing has turned back too) I was so excited for this one shot then I started writing it and Iโm like nope donโt like it. But a few people have told me to publish, wonโt hurt. Iโm not too fond of it but maybe I hope someone out there reading this is fond of it. Anyway hereโs a Joel Miller x Reader, 5sos ghost of you inspired one shot. Cause why not
THE DUKE AND THE DEBUTANTE
โฆ Chapter Oneโฆ
"You never stopped choosing me"
Pairing: Duke Pedro Pascal x reader lady Bridgerton (Bridgerton AU)
Word count : 8.8k
Warnings : Age gap romance (reader is 22, Pedro is older), Period accurate societal constraints, Slow burn tension, Intense emotional yearning, Forbidden romance, Protective big brother energy, Power dynamics (nobility hierarchy, not kink-based), Fluff & angst & swoon
Summary: Pedro Pascal plays the Duke of Cardenas, a brooding, emotionally guarded figureโand your late father's closest friend. He shouldn't look at you the way he does. You shouldn't crave his presence like this. But longing knows nothing of propriety. And when reputation and desire collide beneath candlelight and carriage shadows, there's only one question left:
Will you choose the world... or each other?
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
The chandeliers above the ballroom dripped with crystal fireโan elaborate constellation suspended in midair, each glass facet devouring candlelight and bleeding it back in warm golden floods. The ceiling, arched like the firmament, caught the gleam and flung it down onto a sea of silk and tulle. Gowns shimmered. Diamonds blinked from throats and gloves and tiaras. Laughter spilled like champagne into the airโhigh, sharp, performative. The sound of a hundred ambitions blooming all at once. Music curled up from the corner where a quartetโwell-trained, but carefully unobtrusiveโbreathed life into a delicate arrangement of Haydn. It floated and turned like invisible ribbon, curling between the dancers and rising toward the polished domes above. A waltz waited in the wings, its rhythm restrained for now. But everyone knew it would come.
London's season had begun. The show was on. And you were in the center of it, caught like a deer in velvet ropes. You stood at the edge of the dance floor, heels barely grazing the gleaming parquet, every inch of your posture practiced to mechanical perfection. Chin lifted. Shoulders squared. Back straight. The very picture of composure. And yet beneath the corseted stillness, something in you rebelled. Screamed, even.
Around you, the ballroom bloomed with youthโgirls of sixteen and seventeen, flushed with nerves and excitement, each clinging to her mother's arm or fan or smile like a lifeline. They were sweet, uncertain creatures, trembling on the edge of womanhood, eyes glittering with a thousand dreams of dukes and diamonds. You were not one of them.
You shared their silhouette, yes. Your gown was cut to the same rigid standards of eleganceโivory silk, so luminous it caught every twitch of light and turned it to liquid pearl. Your gloves were trimmed in diamonds, your sleeves edged with embroidery so fine it seemed conjured. And the tiara resting above your dark coiled hair was a family heirloom, once worn by your mother when she had made her debut a lifetime ago.
But the illusion went no deeper than your skin. Inside, you were still a scholar, still more at home in a quiet conservatory than a glittering ballroom. You had left London at eighteen, free-spirited and full of fire, bound for Vienna and its hallowed halls of music and philosophy. You had studied beside prodigies, argued in candlelit salons, wandered libraries until your fingers were ink-stained and your brain pulsed with thought. You had stood beneath frescoed ceilings with your violin and felt the world hush to listen. And now you were back. Debuting at twenty-two. A woman made into a girl again, because society could not fathom any other way to introduce you. A relic of your own making. Behind you, a fan fluttered.
"Smile, dearest," Violet whispered, the corner of her mouth barely moving as she leaned in. "You are a Bridgerton." Her tone was kind. Firm. Drenched in pride and worry in equal measure. But her words, sweetly meant, landed like lead in your chest.
You didn't answer. Didn't say the thing blooming sharp in your throatโthat being a Bridgerton had never felt more like a prison than it did now, under the weight of six hundred eyes. You heard your name.
"Lady Bridgerton," the steward intoned, voice ringing across the floor like the opening note of a performance. "Presented to Her Majesty, Queen Charlotte."
Time narrowed. You moved. The ballroom pivoted toward you as if pulled on invisible strings. Faces turnedโsome politely blank, others lit with interest or disdain. The queen sat like a throne of her own, glittering and still, a mountain of brocade and diamonds, watching you as one might inspect a gem that refused to sparkle. You walked slowly, each step a study in elegance, your gown gliding behind you in perfect waves. The whispers followed, clinging to the hem like burrs.
"She's olderโ"
"Too much time abroadโ"
"Her father's daughter, certainly, butโ"
"She plays an instrument, I heard. Like a man."
You curtsied. Precisely. Every movement a ghost of your mother's training, passed down in parlor rooms and mirrored halls. The queen nodded. You dipped lower. And when you rose, you saw him. He stood just to the right of the throne, half-shadowed by a marble pillar wreathed in gold. Tall. Still. Apart from the pageantry like a stone set among glass. The Duke of Cardenas.
Pedro.
The name struck through your ribs like a swallowed breath. He had changed, and yet not. He wore no decorations, no silk flowers, no gaudy embroidery. Only a coat of black velvet, tailored to absolute precision, fastened with polished silver buttons that winked like eyes. His hair was longer now, touched with the faintest silver near the temples. His jaw was clean-shaven, his mouth unreadable. But his eyes. Oh, his eyes.
They found you before you even truly looked at him. Dark. Heavy-lidded. Lit with something that made your blood pull in unnatural directions. It wasn't curiosity. Or cruelty. It was memory. Recognition. Something older than this moment. He had not seen you in yearsโnot since your hair was in braids and your teeth had stained red from pomegranate seeds in the garden at Bridgerton House. You had been twelve. He had been... already far too adult. A guest of your father's. His favorite friend. The quiet one, the one who always brought your brothers books and argued about music in low tones with your mother over tea.
He had rarely spoken to you. A nod, a smile, nothing more. But you had remembered him with absurd clarity. The sound of his laugh. The way he never fidgeted, even in silence. The way your father trusted him without caveat. Now, he looked at you like the past was a thread that had just tightened. You dipped your head in farewell to the Queen, the moment oddly unmoored, and turnedโand his gaze did not leave you. You felt it trail you. Burning. Not cruel, but hot with pressure, like sunlight behind glass.
Behind you, voices again.
"Who is that?"
"The Duke of Cardenas. He hasn't danced in years." He hadn't. Not since his family estate burned. Not since the title was thrust on him like a brand and he vanished into the countryside. People spoke of grief. Others spoke of scandal. Some said he had lost someone in the fire. No one knew. And he had never corrected them.
But he was here now. And suddenly you were acutely aware of yourself. The slope of your neck. The way your gloves pinched just slightly at the wrists. The way every breath lifted your collarbone. You made your way from the dais, careful and slow, keeping your expression serene even as your mind spun. The music behind you shiftedโstrings lifting into a tempo more fluid, suggestive. A waltz, soft and elegant, began to unfold.
A young man approached. Barely nineteen, all curls and nerves and practiced bowing. He introduced himself with trembling lips. You offered your hand before his name even reached your ears. The dance began. He was polite, and you were kind, and the music made everything feel effortlessโbut it wasn't. You moved in time, the rhythm a whisper beneath your feet, the gown blooming with every turn.
And across the floor, alwaysโhis eyes. The Duke of Cardenas did not dance. Did not speak. He stood like a statue carved from midnight, utterly still but impossibly alive.
Watching you.
And just before the final chord, as the young man thanked you in a breathless voice, you caught the smallest movement across the room. A flicker. A pull at the corner of a mouth that had not changed in a decade. He smiled.
And you knew, without understanding whyโ Something had already begun
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
The air outside was colder than it had any right to be. The kind of chill that didn't bite at first, but crept in slowly through silk and lace, nestling between your ribs and along your collarbones like whispered disapproval. Spring in May was supposed to be gentler. But tonight, it felt as though the world itself bristled at your escape.
You welcomed it.
Anything to numb the high color still blooming in your cheeks. Anything to silence the swell of your heart that had not steadied since the moment you stepped down from the dais and saw him watching.
You didn't come here to chase a memory. You had only needed a breath. A pause. A private corner of sky where your corset didn't feel like a punishment and your gloves didn't feel like a costume. You hadn't planned to vanish, not really. Just a momentโjust enough distance from the ballroom to remember who you were before lace and diamonds were stitched across your body like chains.
But now the silence held you.
The moon, a thin silver coin, floated in the inky sky, its light too soft to see by but too bright to ignore. The hedges rose around you like cathedral walls, ivy veined and climbing over every surface as if trying to reclaim what the nobility had built. Gravel paths twisted and turned through the garden maze like the lines of a secret letterโjust a bit too narrow for comfort, just a bit too winding for innocence.
And of course, you were alone.
Which was, by any measure, a disaster.
A debutante gone missing during her presentation ball? It would be enough to summon Lady Featherington's swoon and send half the Dowager Countesses into fainting spells. The rumors would start before you even returned inside.
You could already hear them:
Poor girl. Older, you knowโdesperate.
She's been away too long. Picked up foreign habits. Music, I heard. Philosophy. God save us.
Your fingers grazed the rough edge of the ivy wall as you walked slowly, deliberately, its texture biting softly at your gloves. Each step was measured, though your heart was not. It thudded like a soloist's drum, out of place and far too loud. And not because of the boy who had just danced with youโnervous, sweating, barely able to string a sentence together. He was harmless.
It was the man who watched.
Pedro's gaze had been like fire caught behind glass. Unmoving, but alive with some hidden heat you couldn't name. He had looked at you as if the years hadn't dulled anything. As if seeing you now was a problem he'd never learned to solve.
You hadn't seen him since you left England. Not truly. Letters had never come, though you had waited for one onceโabsurdly, foolishlyโwhen your father's name was first spoken in a lecture hall in Vienna. But there had been nothing.
And now here he was. And there you were.
Alone in a garden like a girl in a Gothic novel.
A twig snapped behind you.
You turned before the sound had fully diedโevery nerve sparking in protest. And there, stepping from between two hedges where moonlight laced over his shoulder like a blessing he did not needโ
Pedro.
The Duke of Cardenas.
He was not supposed to be here.
He looked like he wasn't supposed to be anywhere. His posture was too still. His coatโmidnight black, sharp-shouldered, closed with simple buttonsโwas too plain for this crowd, and yet impossibly elegant. He wore it like armor, every inch fitted to hide something sharp beneath. His face, shadowed and severe in the low light, gave nothing away. But his presence told you everything you needed to know.
He had followed you.
"I imagine your brother would be rather displeased to learn his sister wandered into a hedge maze alone," he said softly.
His voice.
It hadn't changed much. Still low and textured, like rough velvet. The kind of voice meant for secrets and confessionsโnot for parlors and polite society.
You didn't answer at first. You studied him, your breath fogging faintly in the air between you. Then, with the same composure you had offered the Queen:
"Would he?"
The corner of his mouth movedโjust enough to suggest a smile, or perhaps the ghost of one.
"He would."
A pause opened between you, just long enough to feel like something had shifted. His eyes moved thenโnot with haste, but with deliberate care. They traced the line of your gown, the pale sheen of silk against your body, the faint shiver in your exposed throat. And then they rose to meet yours.
"And I imagine," he continued, more slowly now, "he would be even more displeased to learn that I saw you go and followed, rather than summon him."
You tilted your head, arching a brow.
"And yet," you said, voice silked in frost, "here you are."
"I'm here," he replied, each word shaped with deliberate calm, "because the Ton already whispers enough about your family. And I have no interest in watching your name dragged through the mud over a moment's breath of air."
Your chin lifted, reflexively. "How noble."
He didn't flinch.
"You were alone," he said simply. "I made sure you weren't."
You bristled. Not at his presenceโbut at his logic. His arrogance. The sheer nerve of him, cloaking concern in superiority like it was a virtue.
"Then by all means," you said, stepping past him, "consider me saved."
You meant to walk on. To put a hedge between yourself and whatever this was turning into. But his voice came again, a little sharper this time, like flint sparking against steel.
"You shouldn't be here."
You stilled. Something in his tone was different now. Less performative. Less defensive. And when you turned slightly, enough to see him in profile, you noticed the way his eyes flickedโbrieflyโtoward the house. Then back to you.
There was something in that glance. Not fear, exactly. But knowing.
"And yet neither should you," you said softly. "Unless you've made it your duty to guard every wandering girl this season."
"I don't make a habit of chasing debutantes into gardens."
You took a step forward. Just one. But it was enough to collapse the polite distance between you.
"No," you murmured. "You only chase the ones you knew when they were fourteen and heartbroken and mourning a father you once loved."
His reaction was not dramatic. But it was real. The smallest tightening of his jaw. A breath pulled in, slow and ragged. His lashes lowered.
"I remember," he said at last, and his voice was different now. Stripped of performance. "You were the only one who didn't cry at the funeral."
"I did cry," you said. "Just not where anyone could see."
A silence unfolded then. One that did not press, but lingered. It was full of unsaid things, things too sharp to survive under chandeliers and violins. You stood there, not quite touching, yet entirely exposed. The garden walls around you might as well have closed in to form a confessional. Pedro looked down. His hand, half-clenched, hung at his side like it ached.
"You shouldn't be here," he said again, this time quieter.
You exhaled.
"And yet you followed me," you whispered. "Like you always do."
That made him look up.
And there it was againโthe stare that didn't belong to the man from your childhood. This one wasn't gentle. It didn't blink. It saw everything and flinched at nothing. It burned. Your breath hitched. This wasn't the Pedro who brought books to your brothers. This was the man who had spent four years trying not to think of you and had failed.
"I should go," you said suddenly, the air too thin now.
He nodded, but he didn't step aside. You moved past him anyway. Your sleeve brushed his handโa whisper of fabric on skinโand something electric snapped up your arm. You nearly flinched. Nearly. He did not follow this time. But when you looked backโjust once, just enough to seeโ He was still watching you.
Unmoving.
Unforgiving.
Undone
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
You hadn't meant to look for him. Truly, you hadn't.
After the gardenโafter the hush of moonlight against hedges, the cold kiss of ivy, and the scalding heat of his gazeโafter his voice coiled around your name like a memory that refused to dieโyou'd sworn you would forget it. You'd told yourself, stern and silent, that it had meant nothing. That it was an indulgence. An old thread tugged loose for one foolish night and now severed. You could tuck it back into the quiet folds of your memory, where it could fade like all things unspoken.
But you lied. You looked for him. You hunted for him.
Across parquet floors glistening beneath chandeliers. Over the rims of champagne flutes filled and refilled by white-gloved attendants. Between the dull thrum of conversations you didn't care to finish and compliments you didn't ask to hear. Your gaze wandered without permission. Always alert. Always searching.
You told yourself it was harmless. A flicker of curiosity. A passing thought, like the scent of an old book or the echo of a song you used to love. But it wasn't. Because he looked for you, too.
He didn't speak. Not once. Never crossed the ballroom with intention. Never dared ask for a dance. But he was always near. A shadow standing just beyond reach. A constant in every crowd. A figure leaning against columns or half-framed in mirrored doors, lingering near balconies, halls, thresholds. Places you weren't meant to noticeโuntil you did.
And the distance between you was always just enough to make your skin ache. It made everything worse. Because the restraint, the proximity, the way he wouldn't touch youโit was all louder than any gesture. More intimate than any hand at your waist. And it turned every moment you spent breathing the same air into something dangerous.
It happened three nights later. Lady Danbury's ball.
The invitations had been floral and garish, stamped with pink wax and printed on ivory stock that reeked of wealth and unnecessary flourishes. The ballroom was a confectionโgilded cornices, sprays of violets and lilies in every possible vase, musicians dressed to match the wallpaper. Everything smelled like honey and crushed petals and heat. Debutantes fluttered like paper dolls, each one soft-petaled and polished to gleam, their laughs like windchimes strung too tight.
You arrived in pale blue silk. The color your mother had chosen with unrelenting optimism, claiming it was "cooling, elegant, and subtle enough to smooth your edges." You had not bothered to argue, but the effect was the opposite. The blue turned your skin porcelain, made your eyes too sharp, your cheekbones more severe. You looked carved, not softened.
You liked it. Your gloves, pearl-buttoned at the wrist, were fitted like second skin. Your neckline modest, your earrings old family sapphires that caught the light like secrets. You moved through the crowd like a blade slipped into a bouquet. Every smile was practiced. Every word measured. You didn't belong here, but you wore your presence like a challenge.
And then you felt him. Not saw. Felt.
Like a cold spot in a church pew. Like a hush in the middle of a symphony. The moment a room turns, not physically, but metaphysicallyโtoward something it cannot name.
Your spine prickled. You hadn't seen him on the guest list. But then, Pedro did not require invitations. The Duke of Cardenas answered to no one. And more importantly, no one dared to question where he placed his boots or his brooding silences.
He was beside you before you even turned your head. Not close enough to scandalize. But close enough to feel it. The gravity of him.
"Careful," he murmured.
The words slipped from the side of his mouth like a secret meant for your skin alone. His gaze did not shift from the room, but his voice was tailored to your ears.
"You've caught the attention of every man here."
The corner of your mouth twitched, but your voice remained even. "I've been back less than a week. I imagine it's more curiosity than admiration."
At that, his head turnedโslowly, deliberately.
"Let them be curious," he said, eyes flicking briefly across your face. "They don't know you."
You met his gaze. "And you do?"
That stopped something in him. Just a flickerโa tightness around the mouth, a narrowing of the eyes, as though the question had pressed a bruise. He didn't look away, but he did hesitate. Just long enough for the silence to draw taut.
"I did," he said. "Once."
The music swelled behind youโanother waltz, another cascade of strings and polite rhythm and glittering couples spun together like dolls on wire. Someone called your name. Loudly. A young viscount. Wide-eyed, polite, forgettable.
You stepped away from Pedro without looking back. Slipped into the arms of your next dance like a woman donning a mask.
The floor moved beneath you. The crowd turned and shimmered in time. The boy smiled nervously and asked too many questions. You answered with practiced patience. Let yourself be twirled and dipped and led across the room.
But the entire timeโ
You felt him.
Pedro's eyes.
Tracking. Burning. Unforgiving. Possessive.
And you hated yourself for liking it.
When the music ended, you thanked your partner with the barest of curtsies and moved toward the edge of the room. Not to flee. Not exactly.
Just to breathe.
The gold-draped curtains rustled slightly as you passed them. You stepped behind one, into a pocket of stillnessโaway from light, from noise, from pretense.
And he was there.
Waiting in shadow like he belonged to it.
You didn't face him. You didn't need to.
"You're playing a dangerous game," you whispered.
There was a pauseโjust long enough to feel intentional.
"So are you," he murmured, voice darker now. The low register of a man who no longer pretends.
You exhaled slowly. "You shouldn't speak to me like this."
"I shouldn't think of you like this."
That stopped everything.
The sound of the ballroom receded, as if drawn back by some divine hand. Your breath hitched. The velvet curtain shivered slightly from the heat in the room. You turned. And his mask slipped. He didn't move. Didn't touch you. But in that heartbeat, you saw it all. The hunger. The ache. The violence he had done to himself by pretending the last few years hadn't sharpened you into something he wanted. The way his gaze droppedโfirst to your lips, then lower, as if seeing you now confirmed every memory he had tried to erase. He leaned infinitesimally forward. A motion so slight it could be dismissed as nothing. But it wasn't.
Your hand trembled at your side.
You didn't move. Couldn't. The world had narrowed into thisโinto curtain folds and heat and a man you should never let this close.
Thenโ
"Lady Bridgertonโthere you are!"
Anthony.
His voice cracked across the room like a whipโsharp, good-humored, utterly unknowing.
Pedro stepped back instantly. Like he'd been scorched. His expression closed like a door.
Anthony emerged between two guests, looking bemused and faintly breathless, as though he'd been weaving through conversation after conversation in search of you.
"You've been quite popular tonight," he said, smiling as he offered you his arm. "Come. Lord Ainsley has requested your next dance."
You placed your hand in his. Your spine was a rod of steel. Your face serene. But your pulse was a storm beneath your skin.
Anthony glanced behind you. Just once. His eyes landed on the gold curtain. Narrowed.
You didn't look back.
You didn't need to.
Pedro was already gone.
But the feeling of himโhis voice in your ear, his gaze on your throat, the phantom heat of a confession barely spokenโ
That stayed with you.
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
He didn't come the next night.
Nor the one after.
You told yourself it didn't matter. That it was good. Sensible. Expected. That his absence was what you had wanted. What you had promised yourself you would want.
You lied.
Lady Edgecombe's masquerade passed in a blur of feathers, masks, and meaningless compliments. You danced. You smiled. You accepted three cards and declined two. You laughed at jokes that weren't funny and curtsied before baronets with teeth too white and opinions too loud. Your mask had a filigree edge that caught the candlelight like frost, and the entire evening felt like a pantomime you had rehearsed in a past life.
He wasn't there.
At the Featherington luncheon, you sat between Penelope and your mother, sipping lukewarm tea while conversation drifted through topics like embroidery, marriages, and Lord Halberton's new hothouse orchids. Your gloves were stained faintly with raspberry from a tart you didn't finish.
He wasn't there.
Even Hyde Park offered no solace. The day was crisp, the sky stubbornly clear. Debutantes paraded in pale muslins and pastel bonnets, laughing too loudly, fluttering their fans like nervous birds. Your brothers rode ahead, all polished boots and easy swagger, drawing attention the way Bridgertons always did. You walked with purpose. You nodded when spoken to. You answered questions you didn't hear.
But he wasn't there.
No velvet coat in the crowd. No sudden stillness on the periphery. No voice catching the back of your neck like breath.
He had vanished.
And it hurt in a place you didn't know had been open.
Anthony noticed, of course. He always did. He noticed everything. He had been watching you your whole life, sometimes out of love, sometimes out of duty, and often out of some mixture of the two that felt more like surveillance than affection.
And now, he wasn't just watching. He was waiting.
Waiting for the moment you'd slip. For a name to fall from your lips. For the glint in your eye you didn't know how to hide.
It came to a head three days after the ball.
The day had been dull, grey-skied and slow-moving. You were curled on the settee in the drawing room, one slipper tucked under your leg, pretending to read a collection of essays you had already memorized in Vienna. The pages blurred. The fire crackled. Your mother's knitting clicked softly in the adjacent parlor.
Then the butler cleared his throat in that discreet, funereal way reserved for inconvenient arrivals.
"His Grace, the Duke of Cardenas."
You didn't look up.
But Anthony did.
The air stilled like the moment before a ship tilts.
Pedro stepped into the room with the same impossible quiet that always preceded him. He was dressed in a coat so dark it could have swallowed lightโtailored perfectly, without ornament or frill. His gloves were tucked beneath one arm, and his expression was a mask carved from stone. Controlled. Cold. Too cold.
He bowed. Precisely.
"Bridgerton," he said, addressing Anthony first.
"Duke," Anthony returned, standing slowly. His voice was clipped. Measured. No warmth. No pretense of cordiality.
You set the book down carefully, spine-first against the cushion. The room was too quiet. You could hear the shift of the coals in the grate. Neither man acknowledged you, and yet your presence thrummed between them like a live wire.
"I was hoping for a moment of your time," Pedro said. "Privately."
Anthony's smile was tight. Politic. "Anything you wish to say in my home can be said in front of my sister."
"I disagree," Pedro replied, and there was something in his toneโso perfectly civil it cut. "Some things require discretion."
Anthony's eyes darkened.
"And yet," he said, voice lowering, "you've shown precious little of that lately."
Your breath snagged in your throat.
Pedro's jaw tensed, just barely. A flicker of tension behind the eyes. He didn't speak.
"This is about Lady Bridgerton," Anthony went on, clearly emboldened. "And if it involves her name, it involves mine."
You stood then.
Not quickly. Not dramatically. But with intention.
"Perhaps," you said quietly, "you should let him speak."
Anthony turned toward you, as if just remembering you were flesh and not concept. "This manโ"
"This man," you interrupted, "was your father's friend. My father's friend. And I am not a child, Anthony."
His mouth tightened. "You are a debutante."
You stepped forward. "And he is what? A Duke? Older? Uninterested in the games of courtship you so desperately thrust me into?"
Anthony's expression faltered. Just for a heartbeat.
Pedro's eyes cut between you both. And then he stepped forward, not between, but beside youโgently, firmly, a presence that turned the air heavier.
"Enough," he said.
One word. But it landed like thunder.
The silence that followed was complete.
He turned to Anthony first.
"Whatever you suspect," he said, voice low, even, "you may rest easy. I have not compromised your sister's reputation. Nor do I intend to."
Anthony crossed his arms.
"Then why are you here?"
Pedro hesitated.
And then, finally, he looked at you.
Not fully. Not deeply. But enough.
Enough to see itโjust beneath the surface. That faint tremor in his restraint. The ache that never made it to his voice. The ghost of something he wasn't ready to confess.
"I came," he said, "to say goodbye."
The floor beneath you might as well have dropped.
"What?" you said. The word was barely breath.
He didn't meet your eyes.
"I'm returning to Cardenas," he said. "This season was a courtesy. An obligation to my family, to my station. But it's time I returned."
Anthony remained still. Silent. His face unreadable.
You could not remain silent.
"So that's it?" you asked. "You follow me through ballrooms, into gardens, you look at me likeโlike I'm something you cannot nameโand now you run?"
Pedro's jaw clenched. His throat moved with a hard swallow.
"You don't understand."
"Then explain it to me."
"I can't."
"Why?"
His eyes met yours. And the mask cracked.
"Because if I start," he said, voice breaking low and brutal, "I will not be able to stop."
The silence that followed didn't feel like silence. It felt like a scream under glass.
You stared at him. At the man who had haunted the corners of your season. At the man who had once been a story your father told over wine. At the man who had followed you into moonlight and left you with heat along your skin and nothing in your hands.
Pedro turned then. No drama. No apology.
He bowedโshallow and sharp.
And he left.
The door clicked shut with unbearable gentleness.
You didn't follow.
But oh, how you wanted
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
You knew he would be at the opera.
No one said it aloud. His name wasn't printed in the programme, and his family crest didn't appear in any of the ornate, gilded invitations fluttering across Mayfair parlors that week. But you felt him.
The way one feels a storm on the edge of the horizonโsilent, electric, too near to ignore.
From the moment your carriage turned onto Pall Mall, your pulse had refused to steady. Each gas lamp flickering against the glass, each rustle of satin and scent of beeswax candles set your nerves on edge. You crossed the threshold of the opera house and felt the air shift.
He was here. You knew it.
Not because he had told you. Not because he had written.
But because something inside you went very still.
The opera house was alight with spectacle: golden arches, crushed crimson velvet, perfumes so rich they clung to your gloves. The chandeliers glittered like chandeliers always did, but more cruelly tonight, more bright. Each lady's laugh rang a little too high. Every whispered gossip seemed to scrape across your skin.
Your mother smiled too much.
Your brothers, both in attendance, lounged in the family box with all the ease of men unaware of ruin.
You didn't breathe until the curtains rose.
And then, there he was.
Not in the boxes. Not with the dukes and barons and courtiers whispering through binoculars and fans. He stood at the very back of the gallery, half in shadow, dressed in a coat so plain it defied his station.
Pedro.
The Duke of Cardenas.
His eyes weren't on the stage.
They were on you.
It hit like a blowโhis gaze. It found you amid the crowd, across distance and music and time. And it held. Not possessive. Not begging. Just there. Like an anchor beneath the ocean.
You didn't watch the opera.
You couldn't.
When the curtain dropped at intermission and the audience broke into polite applause, you rose from your seat too fast. Your mother began to speak, something about lemonade in the vestibule, but the words barely touched your ears.
You moved quickly.
Down the carpeted corridor, past footmen and wide skirts and smirking gentlemen too confident in their cravats. You descended the grand marble steps, the hem of your gown whispering against stone. Outside, the air was thickโperfumed with roses from the terrace and the faint, acrid bite of coal smoke.
And there he was.
Waiting in the half-dark, beside the carriages, where no chaperones dared follow and the lanterns cast long, lonesome shadows.
His presence didn't surprise you. Not anymore.
He looked as he always didโspare, restrained, unrelenting. But something was looser in him tonight. Something frayed.
"Lady Bridgerton," he said, and the formality sounded ridiculous on his tongue.
You didn't bother returning it.
"I received a proposal today," you said.
He didn't speak.
But you saw itโthe flash of pain across his face. The catch in his breath before he buried it beneath that infuriating stillness.
"Lord Wetherby," you continued, stepping closer. "Twenty-five. Pleasant. Dull. My mother nearly wept with joy."
Pedro's jaw flexed. "He is... acceptable."
You let the word hang between you like ash.
"Is that what I should want?" you asked quietly. "Acceptable?"
He looked away. Not farโjust toward the horses shifting in their harnesses, toward the flickering gaslight on the cobblestones.
He didn't answer.
So you took another step.
"I'm not naรฏve, Pedro. I know what this is. What it can't be. I know what people would say. What my brother will do. What your title demands."
Still, he said nothing.
"And still," you whispered, "I am standing here."
When he finally looked at you, it was like something broke. Not in himโbut between you. As though the rules that had once kept you apart had been paper all along, and the night had torn right through them.
The expression on his face was not guarded anymore.
It was bare.
Grief. Desire. Rage. Guilt. All there. All raw and wretched in the pale moonlight.
"I have done everything right," he said, voice low and shaking. "I kept my distance. I said nothing. I let Anthony believe the worst of me to protect you. To protect us. And I would have left it there."
"But you didn't," you said softly.
His eyes closed, just for a second. When they opened again, he looked wrecked.
"Because I can't," he said. "Because the thought of another man's name on your marriage contractโanother man at your side, in your bed, in your lifeโ"
He couldn't finish.
You swallowed hard.
"Then take it back," you said. "Say something that cannot be unsaid."
For a moment, the only sound was the rustling of a sycamore tree nearby. A carriage creaked in the distance. The wind pulled at your skirts.
And thenโbarely more than a breathโ
"I love you."
It wasn't elegant.
It wasn't rehearsed.
But it shattered something inside you with exquisite violence.
You closed your eyes. "You shouldn't."
"I tried not to."
You opened them. Stepped forward.
"I should walk away."
"You won't."
He was right.
You kissed him.
You kissed him like it had already ruined you. Like it had ruined him long before tonight. His hands caught your waistโnot possessive, but anchoring. Yours tangled in the folds of his coat, clinging as if you could crawl into him, into the impossible truth between you.
The kiss wasn't sweet.
It was desperate. Hot. Real.
The kind of kiss that burned through silk and duty and logic. That said we will suffer for thisโbut kissed anyway.
When it broke, you were breathless.
Your head bowed. Your forehead pressed against his.
"What now?" you whispered.
His voice was barely a thread.
"Now we decide if we want the world... or each other."
You didn't hesitate.
"Each other."
And for the first time since you were children in a sunlit garden, he smiled.
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
He found out the next morning.
Not from you, of course. You'd planned to tell him gentlyโin your own time, with your own words, with the dignity of explanation. Perhaps in the study, just the two of you. Over a fire. With care. With strategy. A small storm, not a tempest.
But London does not wait.
And scandal travels faster than even a Bridgerton's temper.
It began with a whisperโtwo ladies lingering too long near the terrace of the opera house, fans fluttering too frantically for innocence. It passed through the hands of a footman with ears sharpened by curiosity and coin. And by sunrise, your name was tangled in the Duke of Cardenas's like thread knotted too tightly to be undone.
Not a tryst. Not an affair. Not yet.
But a kiss.
A kiss behind carriages. In the dark. In the arms of a man twice your age.
A man your father once called brother.
The drawing room had barely begun to fill with light when Anthony arrived.
He didn't knock.
The door slammed open with a thundercrack of motion, and your elder brother strode through it like a soldier breaching enemy lines. His coat was half-fastened, his boots dusty, his cravat askewโnot from haste, but from fury. Bridgerton fury. The kind that arrived before thought and left no space for reason.
"You kissed him?" he thundered.
You didn't startle.
You looked up from your teaโcalm, quiet, deliberate. The porcelain cup rested lightly between your fingers, steam still curling from the rim. A servant flinched in the corner and wisely fled the room.
You met Anthony's glare without blinking.
"Good morning, brother."
His chest rose, then fell with a sharp, shallow breath. "You kissed him. In public. Behind carriages, no less. Do you have any ideaโ"
"Private carriages," you corrected, lifting the cup to your lips. "And no one saw but God and the stars, I'm told."
He looked as if you had slapped him.
"Is thisโ" he choked, voice cracking on disbelief "โis this some kind of rebellion? Some final act of defiance before you let us secure your future properly?"
You rose then.
Slowly. Deliberately.
The pale silk of your dressing gown fell in ripples over your figure, its embroidered edges catching the morning sun that now bled through the tall windows. You did not tremble. You did not falter. You were, for all the world, every inch the lady you were raised to beโbut sharper now. Older. Your beauty carried weight, and Anthony suddenly looked at you like you were something he had never seen before.
"This is my future," you said evenly.
"He's your future?" Anthony spat. "He's twice your age."
"Not quite."
"He is our father's friend!"
That one struck.
You didn't flinch, but your throat tightened. There was a pauseโbrief but deep, like a wound exposed.
And then softly: "He is not my father."
Anthony's mouth partedโbut no words came.
"He's not replacing him," you added. "He never could. But he saw me, Anthony. Before anyone else did. Not as a name. Not as a pawn to be brokered like a parcel of land. He saw me as a woman."
Anthony turned away, pacing to the hearth as if the motion could smother the heat in his chest. His hands clenched at his sides. His voice dropped, laced with something colder.
"He is a Duke. Do you honestly believe he is free to love whom he chooses?"
"I don't know," you said. "But I know I am."
His gaze snapped back to you.
"I know I'd rather be ruined beside him than adored by someone I don't love."
The words landed hard. Too honest. Too bold. Too true.
For a moment, there was nothing. Only the tick of the longcase clock in the hall, the soft clink of china against its saucer as your tea cooled on the table between you.
And thenโanother voice.
"Enough."
You both turned.
Violet Bridgerton stood in the doorway, framed by sunlight, every inch the matriarch you had always feared and loved in equal measure. Her hair was swept up with ruthless precision, her pearl earrings catching the light, her expression unreadable.
But her eyesโher eyes burned with something neither of you could name.
"I have listened," she said, stepping into the room. "And I have allowed this tempest to rage, because I know what grief does to brothers. I know what fear does to sisters. And I know what silence does to love."
You opened your mouth, but she held up a hand.
"I know what you think of him," she said to Anthony. "I know what the world expects you to think. But I knew him long before you were born. I saw him laugh with your father in a way few men ever could. I saw what loyalty meant to them both."
She turned to you now, softerโbut not gentle.
"And I see what he means to you."
You nodded. Just once. Your throat was tight. You weren't sure you could speak.
Violet exhaled. "Then the only thing left is to ask: are you prepared to lose everything for him?"
You didn't hesitate.
"Yes."
Anthony flinched, but this timeโhe said nothing.
Violet's shoulders sagged slightly, as if something in her had finally settled.
"Then I will stand behind you," she said.
Anthony turned to her, aghast. "Motherโ"
"I will stand behind her," she said again. "And you will not make an enemy of your sister, Anthony. Not now. Not when your father would've done the same."
Silence fell again.
Anthony stared at the rug for a long time. His breathing was ragged. Controlled rage giving way, slowly, to a kind of reluctant, aching clarity.
Then finally, he looked up at you.
And for the first time in yearsโhe saw you.
Not the girl who needed protecting.
But the woman who had already chosen her path.
And though he hated itโ
He understood.
Eventually.
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
The summons arrived the next morning.
It came with no warning. No explanation. Only the distinctive crack of carriage wheels at the front steps and a knock so perfectly timed that even the staff held their breath.
The letter itself was brief.
Eight lines of elegant script. Sealed in purple wax stamped with the royal crest. Delivered by a footman clad in the Queen's liveryโsilver-trimmed plum velvet, his face as blank as carved marble. He didn't speak. He didn't need to. The weight of the envelope spoke for him.
You were to present yourself at Queen Charlotte's private salon.
Alone.
The ride to Buckingham House passed in a blur. London's early light made everything feel too sharp: the clang of hooves, the chatter of pedestrians, the glint of dew on iron railings. Even your gloves felt too tight, your breath shallow beneath the lace of your collar. Your hair had been dressed quicklyโyour mother too stunned to argueโbut you had insisted on the pale lavender silk gown, the one with the embroidered train that trailed like spilled ink behind you.
As if beauty could serve as armor.
The palace loomed as it always did: sprawling, ancient, and impossibly clean. You were led not through the main halls but through the sideโa more intimate route, the kind reserved for confidences and consequences. Marble floors gave way to rosewood. Mirrors became narrower. Lamps dimmer. The silence was ceremonial.
And then the doors opened.
You stepped insideโand your breath stopped.
The Queen's private salon was smaller than the throne room, but no less grand. The walls were a pale mint, inlaid with gold filigree and framed portraits of dead kings and prized dogs. Two harpists played in the far corner, fingers gliding over strings too softly for comfort. The air smelled of myrrh, roses, and threat.
Pedro was already there.
He stood near the windows, stiff-backed, hands behind his coat. The morning sun caught the edge of his profileโthe strong line of his jaw, the glint of silver threading his dark hair. He wore no embellishment. No jewels. No medals of service. Just a simple coat, pressed and severe, as if daring anyone to reduce him to decoration.
He turned the moment you entered.
And bowed.
Not just out of obligationโbut reverence. You curtsied in reply, your knees light, your head bowed low, but your pulseโGod, your pulseโwas violent in your throat.
Queen Charlotte did not rise.
She sat in an armchair the color of crushed mulberries, her wig piled high with pearls and a miniature ship bobbing among the curls. Her gown shimmered with so many jewels it hurt to look directly at her. Her expression, however, was plain as stone.
She looked between you both as if appraising livestock.
"You," she said finally, "are quite the talk of the season."
Her voice was calm. Controlled. But not kind.
She stood with deliberate grace, her skirts rippling as she stepped forward. She stopped just short of the rug separating you and Pedro, eyeing you both as one might regard a pair of unruly hounds brought in from the rain.
"A fallen Duke," she said. "An aged debutante. And enough tension between you to singe my drapes."
You said nothing.
The floor beneath your slippers might as well have been ice.
The Queen walked slowly, deliberately, pausing in front of you. She tilted her head. Her eyes were sharp, appraisingโnot unkind, but surgical.
"I should be furious," she said, her voice low now. "A scandal. A spectacle. You kissed in the open, behind carriages. Do you know how many letters I've received in the last twenty-four hours? I've had to speak to the Archbishop about your lips."
Your mouth parted. "Your Majestyโ"
She lifted one jeweled finger. The room froze again.
"And yet," she said, turning to face you squarely, "I find that I am not furious. Do you know why?"
You tried to answerโbut the words withered on your tongue.
"No, Your Majesty," you whispered.
She turned thenโquick, sharp, like a bird of prey.
To him.
Her voice hardened. "Do you love her?"
Pedro didn't flinch. Didn't hesitate.
"Yes, Your Majesty."
The words were not loud.
But they filled the room.
They dropped like a stone into still waterโrippling outward, touching everything. The harpists faltered. The footmen stiffened. Even the air stilled, as if waiting for the world to crack in two.
The Queen stared at him. Long. Unblinking. Thenโ
"And you would marry her?"
"If she would have me," he said, voice thick with something close to reverence.
The Queen turned to you.
"Well?" she asked. "Would you?"
Time unraveled. The moment stretched, impossibly thin. The world felt far awayโthe throne, the court, the portraits, the harpists, the tapestries, your family, everything. All that remained was Pedro's eyes on yours.
The man who followed you into gardens. Who stood beside you in ruin. Who never asked you to choose, but chose you anyway.
"Yes," you said.
Queen Charlotte clapped her hands onceโsharp as a pistol crack.
"Then I expect an invitation," she declared. "Gold trim. Proper calligraphy. And no mention of that nonsense in the carriages."
You blinked. "So... we have your blessing?"
The Queen smiled thinly.
"No. You have my attention. Do not waste it."
Then she turned, with the full drama of monarchs and theatre critics, and disappeared behind a curtain embroidered with peacocks.
The silence she left behind was holy.
Pedro looked at you thenโnot like a man forgiven, but like a man alive. His shoulders slackened. His breath eased. The worry that had lined his face for days began, slowly, to drain away.
You reached for his hand.
He took it.
And though the throne had not said yes, the world had not said no
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
The world was quiet again.
Not silentโnever silent. There was birdsong beyond the window, light and half-curious. Somewhere far off, past the iron gates and winding lanes of the estate, a carriage rattled by on damp cobblestones, wheels whispering over gravel. The hearth crackled low, just embers now. The fire had burned hot through the night but faded with the dawn. And still, you hadn't moved.
Not even an inch.
The light was different here, softer than London's. It touched the sheets in long ribbons of gold, painting lines across your bare shoulders, his chest, the scattered folds of linen tangled around your legs. The curtains were drawn back, but the windows remained open, letting the morning in without hurry. The breeze smelled of cut grass, of distant rain, of something green and old and alive.
You lay half-draped across his chest, your cheek pressed to warm skin, his hand resting against the curve of your spine. One of his shirt sleeves was still clinging to his armโunbuttoned, untucked, forgotten. Your own gown was somewhere behind the dressing screen, a pale mess of silk and dropped buttons. Your stockings were twisted on the floor near the armchair. His cravat, you couldn't find.
But none of it mattered now.
The chaos of itโthe softness, the heat, the hum of flesh and breath and belongingโthis was quiet. The kind that didn't demand stillness. The kind that wrapped itself around bare skin and tousled hair and hands that refused to let go.
His voice rumbled beneath your ear, low and rough with sleep.
"You're staring."
You smiled against his chest. "I'm memorizing."
He huffed, lazy and amused, his chest rising beneath your cheek. "You've had years to memorize me."
You shifted, tilting your face up, your chin resting along your forearm.
"Yes," you said. "But now I don't have to pretend I'm not."
His hand came up to brush your hair back, fingers trailing from your temple to your jaw. A slow, reverent motion. The kind he never allowed himself in public. The kind he had spent years denying.
"You've always been terrible at pretending," he murmured.
You arched a brow. "And you've always been terrible at staying away."
That made him smile.
Not the tight, polished one he wore under society's gaze. Not the diplomatic one, the cautious one. But his smile. The crooked one. The warm one. The one that had once been rare and fleeting, glimpsed only in moonlight, in stolen glances, in half-forgotten moments behind garden walls.
Now it was yours.
"I thought this would feel more impossible," you said after a while, your voice barely more than a breath.
Pedro turned his head slightly to look at you, brow faintly furrowed. "And does it?"
You shook your head.
"No." You leaned in and pressed your lips to the hollow beneath his jawโwhere his pulse beat slow and steady. "It feels like we won."
"You always were the stubborn one," he murmured, eyes fluttering shut.
You grinned against his skin. "And you always let me win."
He let out a soft soundโsomewhere between a sigh and a laugh.
"I never let you," he whispered. "You just... never stopped choosing me."
You froze.
Just for a moment.
Not because you doubted it. But because it was true in a way you hadn't realized until now. Not fully. Not in words. But somewhere, deep in the marrow of you, you had always been choosing him.
Even when he left.
Even when you told yourself it was over.
Even when the world lined up suitors and whispered names and promised comfort.
You had still looked for him in every room. Felt him in every silence. You had kissed him in the dark and let the stars bear witness. You had taken the world's judgment in stride, faced your brother, faced the Queen, and said yes.
Because he wasn't just a Duke. Or a scandal. Or a fantasy carved from grief and nostalgia.
He was home.
Taglist: @lonely-ey3s @ultra-nina-bella
WE WERE NEVER JUST ENEMIES
โฆ Chapter Oneโฆ
โYou Hate Me, Remember?โ
Pairing: Javier Peรฑa x Reader
Word Count: 4.4k
Warnings: Implied smut, explicit sexual tension, enemies with benefits, mutual pining, angst, unresolved feelings, jealousy, toxic flirting, forbidden touches, rough kissing, emotional repression, rain-soaked makeouts, hurt/comfort, vulnerability in denial, and one shared bed that changes everything.
Summary: You and Javier Peรฑa are enemies, partners, and something dangerously in between โ circling each other through smoke-filled bars, ruined stakeouts, and bruising kisses neither of you can stop chasing. It starts with a cigarette. It ends with a confession. Everything in between threatens to destroy you both.
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
The bar is a shithole.
One of those places that doesn't have a name, just a flickering neon sign and the smell of regret thick in the air. You didn't come here for ambiance. You came because Saldaรฑa's driver was spotted here last week, and intel says he likes to drink alone in the back booth on Tuesdays. It's Tuesday. You're not in the mood for surprises.
Which is why it's such a fucking delight when you spot him the moment you walk in.
Back corner. Low light. That signature slouch โ one leg crossed over the other, arm stretched along the booth like the leather's only there to prop up his arrogance. There's a drink on the table, half-finished and untouched. Cigarette pinched between two fingers, burning low. He's watching the door like he expected someone worse than you to walk through.
You almost turn around.
Almost.
Instead, you exhale sharply through your nose and make your way to the bar, ordering something cheap enough to match the place and strong enough to make him disappear. It doesn't work. His presence pulls at your skin, an itch you haven't scratched in months. Years, maybe. Whatever this thing is between you โ it doesn't fade, it festers.
You pretend not to notice him as you lean against the bar, but of course he doesn't afford you the same courtesy.
"Didn't think they let you out of your cage this time of night," he says.
You glance sideways. He's close now. Close enough that you can smell the smoke on his breath, the cologne faded under the musk of whiskey and humid Bogotรก heat. His shirt sleeves are rolled to the elbow. His tie's gone. Two buttons undone. That goddamn smirk playing at the corner of his mouth like he knows exactly how much you hate him โ and how much that hate has teeth.
"I could say the same, Peรฑa," you reply, voice like cracked glass. "Or did you finally run out of rookies to corrupt?"
He chuckles low in his throat, and it does something to your stomach you really wish it didn't.
"Still sharp," he mutters. "Still an absolute pain in the ass."
You take a slow sip of your drink and turn to face him fully. "Still riding off that one major bust from '83?"
He narrows his eyes, but the corner of his mouth twitches. "You still pissed I got the collar and you got the paperwork?"
You smile like a blade.
"Pissed implies I care."
He pulls out another cigarette, rolls it between his fingers, and reaches into his pocket for a lighter. It clicks. Nothing. Again. Still nothing. You don't even think โ you reach into your coat, flick your zippo open, and hold it up.
The moment stretches.
He leans in slowly. The tip of the cigarette touches flame. His hand wraps lightly around your wrist โ not possessive, not gentle. Just... there. Like he needs to remind you he can still touch you if he wants to.
He inhales. The cigarette crackles. Your breath catches.
The flame goes out.
"You always so generous with your enemies?" he asks, voice low, smoke trailing from his lips like a confession.
You lean in closer. "Only when I want to watch them burn."
The silence between you is alive. The kind of quiet that happens right before something irreversible. You don't blink. Neither does he. It's a stare-down disguised as foreplay โ or maybe the other way around.
"You tailing Saldaรฑa too?" he asks, finally breaking eye contact. He exhales a thick stream of smoke toward the ceiling.
"Yeah," you reply, sliding onto the stool next to him. "Which means if he shows, I guess we're working together."
"Again," he mutters, deadpan.
"Unless you want to blow the whole op."
He groans and rubs a hand over his face. "You ever not start a partnership with a threat?"
You grin. "Only when the guy's competent."
That earns you a laugh โ rough, reluctant, but real. You hate how much you like the sound of it. You also hate that his thigh is brushing yours under the bar and you haven't moved.
"You really think I need you?" he asks, voice dipping.
You don't answer right away. Instead, you take the cigarette from between his lips and drag on it yourself, eyes locked on his. Smoke burns down your throat. You exhale slowly, letting the smoke curl from your mouth like sin.
"No," you say, handing it back. "I think you hate that you do."
His hand brushes yours as he takes it. Not an accident. Definitely not.
He looks at you like a man sizing up a loaded weapon. One he's not afraid to fire.
"Careful," he murmurs. "You keep talking like that, someone might think you're flirting."
You lean in again โ closer this time. Close enough he can see every fleck in your eyes, the rise and fall of your breath. Close enough your lips nearly brush the shell of his ear as you say:
"Dare me."
A beat.
Then he turns to face you head-on. Jaw tight. Eyes dark. Something wicked rises in his chest โ you can see it.
"Don't start what you can't finish."
You smile. Not coy. Not sweet. Dangerous.
"Try me, Peรฑa."
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
The worst part isn't that you're stuck in an interrogation room with Javier Peรฑa.
The worst part is that you're stuck in an interrogation room with him, and he's lounging like this is a fucking vacation.
You pace the perimeter like a caged animal โ boots echoing across chipped linoleum, anger flickering just beneath your skin. Javier's sprawled out in the plastic chair beside the table, legs spread, arms folded, cigarette unlit between his lips. His jacket's off, sleeves rolled. He's watching you with the same casual amusement you'd expect from someone watching a cockfight they bet against.
You hate how calm he is. Hate that he looks good being calm.
"Stop staring," you mutter.
He doesn't blink. "Hard not to, cariรฑo. You're practically vibrating."
You stop mid-step. Turn to face him. "Are you going to help or just sit there looking like a washed-up Marlboro ad?"
He grins, slow and sharp. "I thought you liked me better when I shut up."
You cross your arms, staring him down. "I like you better when you're not here."
He tilts his head. "And yet, here we are. Again."
You don't know what you want more โ to slap him or kiss him just to make it stop. Maybe both. Probably both.
You glance at the two-way mirror. No one's behind it yet. The suspect hasn't been brought in. You have a few minutes, maybe more. Enough time for this to spiral, as it always does.
"You know, Peรฑa," you say, walking over to the table, palms flat on the surface as you lean in, "you can drop the whole 'too cool to care' routine. I see right through it."
He raises an eyebrow. "Yeah? What do you see?"
"I see a man who still thinks charisma is a personality trait."
That gets under his skin โ just a flicker, a flash behind the eyes. He taps the cigarette on the table. Still doesn't light it.
You sit across from him, legs crossed, arms folded to match his posture. A mirror of tension. The energy between you is sharp and coiled, like a spring under pressure.
"You pace like you're trying to outrun yourself," he says after a beat.
You raise a brow. "And you lounge like you're trying to remember what it felt like to matter."
His jaw ticks.
You both fall silent.
The air thickens. That's the thing about you and Javier โ it's never just words. Every insult is a metaphor, every retort laced with years of unresolved everything. Anger. Longing. Lust. Resentment. You two were built in the wreckage of all the things you never said.
"I'm not doing this with you," you mutter, pushing your chair back to stand.
But you don't leave.
You can't.
"Don't act like you don't love this," he says, quiet but sharp. "The game. The back and forth. The way you light up when we argue."
You turn slowly. "You think this is fun for me?"
"I think this is the only time you're honest."
You swallow hard.
That one lands. Too close. Too fast.
He leans forward now, forearms on the table. No more smirk. No more swagger. Just intensity โ low and hot and real.
"Tell me I'm wrong," he says.
You stare at him. Jaw tight. Heart pounding. You don't know when you stood up. You don't remember walking around the table. But suddenly, you're in front of him. Close enough to feel the heat coming off him in waves. He doesn't move.
You lean in โ your hands on the armrests of his chair, caging him in.
"Tell me," you whisper, "that if I kissed you right now, you wouldn't kiss me back."
His gaze drops to your mouth. Just for a second.
It's all you need.
You move first โ not a kiss, not really. Just the threat of one. Your lips brush his like a secret. Not touching. Barely breathing.
His hands flex on the arms of the chair. Not grabbing. Not pulling. Just waiting.
But the door opens.
A junior agent walks in with the suspect in cuffs and two cups of coffee, and you're already halfway across the room by the time the guy looks up. Like nothing happened. Like your heart isn't still hammering in your ribs.
Javier doesn't say a word.
But when you sit down again, his knee brushes yours beneath the table.
And he doesn't move it away
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
The rain comes down in sheets.
Hard and fast, the kind of storm that turns Bogotรก's alleyways into rivers and drowns all sound except for tires splashing and thunder cracking overhead. You're soaked through in seconds โ shirt clinging to your spine, hair plastered to your face, boots squelching in every step.
But you don't stop walking.
Not until you hear his voice behind you.
"Real smooth in there, agent."
You stop. Fists clenched at your sides. Jaw locked.
He's following you, of course he is โ soaked to the bone too, shirt translucent against his skin, collar yanked loose, a line of blood on his cheek from the chaos you both just walked out of. Surveillance blown. Suspect gone. A complete fucking mess.
And somehow โ somehow โ he has the audacity to blame you.
You turn slowly.
"Don't start," you snap.
Javier throws his arms out, water flying off his sleeves. "You jumped the gun! He wasn't even reaching."
"He was running. We had five seconds to react."
"And you shot up the goddamn alley like a cowboy without a badge."
"I was doing my job, Peรฑa."
He storms toward you, boots slapping through puddles. "Doing your job would've meant listening to the plan for once."
You meet him halfway. Your finger jabs into his chest, hard enough to shove him back a step. "And following your plan would've gotten us both killed."
"Oh, but your instincts are never wrong, right?"
"I didn't see you stepping in to stop me."
"Maybe I should've."
Lightning flashes โ just enough to light up the fury in both your faces. The steam rising off your skin isn't just from the rain. It's the heat of weeks โ years โ of these fights, these cracks, this unbearable thing between you that never breaks but never goes away.
"You're impossible," you hiss.
"And you're reckless," he fires back. "You walk around like you've got nothing to lose."
You step in again, chest to chest now. "And you act like you lost everything already."
For one suspended second, he doesn't answer.
Your breath heaves. His does too.
And then his hand snaps out, gripping your wrist โ not rough, not gentle either. His thumb drags over your pulse point, and it's like the whole world tilts sideways.
"Let go," you whisper, though you don't mean it.
"Tell me you don't want this," he says, voice lower now. Hoarse. Wetter from rain than it is with emotion โ but only barely.
You glare up at him, your face soaked, hair stuck to your lips.
"I don't," you lie.
He steps closer. So close the heat of his chest seeps through your clothes, even in the downpour.
"Say it again," he dares, voice like gravel.
"I don'tโ"
You don't finish.
Because then he's kissing you.
Hard. Brutal. Like punishment. Like survival.
Your back slams against the brick wall, and his hands are everywhere โ gripping your waist, your jaw, your hair. You kiss him back just as violently, teeth scraping lips, tongues colliding in something that barely qualifies as affection. It's a clash. A collapse. A war.
You pull his shirt, he grabs your thigh. It's messy. Uncoordinated. Wet in every sense of the word. You taste smoke and adrenaline and everything you've hated about him since the first time you laid eyes on him.
It's the best fucking kiss of your life.
And when it breaks, when you both pull back gasping like you've surfaced from drowning, he presses his forehead to yours.
Breathless.
Ruined.
"Fuck," he mutters.
You're already stepping back. Hands trembling. Chest burning.
"This was a mistake," you rasp.
He doesn't stop you.
He doesn't have to.
Because you're already gone.
And you don't look back
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
The room is small. Cheap. Sterile.
A government-funded shithole with peeling wallpaper and a flickering bedside lamp that hums louder than the broken A/C. The twin beds are too close together. The walls are too thin. The tension is already in the air, clinging to the curtains and soaking into the stained carpet.
You drop your bag by the door and don't look at him.
Not when he walks in behind you. Not when he tosses his jacket onto the nearest bed like it's his already. Not when he mutters something about the size of the place being "fucking ridiculous." You say nothing. You're still ringing from the alley โ from the kiss you haven't stopped thinking about since it happened.
That kiss.
That fucking kiss.
It's been a week. A whole week of silence. Avoidance. Shared reports passed between agents, briefings where you wouldn't look up and he wouldn't speak unless spoken to. Now they've thrown you together again, like fate's playing a joke. A 48-hour stakeout with one cartel runner and one room.
Of course there's only one room.
Of course he's here.
You head for the bathroom without a word, stripping off your rain-drenched shirt and tossing it onto the floor. Cold water, harsh soap, a few minutes of pretending your skin doesn't still feel his hands on it.
When you come back out, he's sitting on the edge of the bed with two little plastic hotel cups and a half-empty bottle of something amber in the middle.
He doesn't say anything.
Neither do you.
You cross the room, take the cup without a glance, and drink.
The whiskey burns. Not enough.
You sit on the opposite bed โ not his. Yours, technically. If there's a difference.
Minutes pass. Maybe hours. You lose count somewhere around your third pour. The silence between you is almost comfortable now. Almost.
Then he speaks.
"You gonna keep pretending it didn't happen?"
You don't look at him.
Instead, you ask, "Which part?"
He shifts on the bed. You hear the springs creak, the whisper of fabric as he leans back on his elbows, like this isn't killing him too.
"The kiss."
Your throat goes tight.
You sip. Swallow. Don't answer.
"You ran," he says after a beat. "You always run."
That pulls your gaze to him.
He's not smirking. He's not baiting you. He's bare. Eyes shadowed, tie undone, hair mussed like he's been running a hand through it for hours. His shirt's wrinkled. His jaw's tense. And underneath it all is something you've never seen on him โ something that looks dangerously close to hurt.
"You think I ran because I didn't want it?" you say, quiet.
He holds your stare. "Did you?"
You don't answer. You don't have to.
Because your silence is already an answer. And you both know it.
The whiskey hits heavier now. It makes your limbs feel too warm, your chest too tight. You don't want to have this conversation. You don't want to give it meaning.
So you scoff. Deflect.
"This doesn't mean anything, Peรฑa," you mutter. "It was rain and adrenaline and too much goddamn tension."
He nods slowly, like he expected that. But something in his jaw ticks.
"Then come say it to my face."
You blink. "What?"
He gestures to the floor between the beds โ the three feet of carpet that might as well be a goddamn minefield.
"If it didn't mean anything," he says, voice low and steady, "come here. Look me in the eye. And say it."
You stare at him.
The room is suddenly too hot.
Your pulse kicks up, wild and stupid.
You shouldn't move.
But you do.
You rise slowly, barefoot on thin carpet, and cross to stand in front of him. He's still sitting on the edge of the bed, looking up at you with something unreadable in his eyes โ not anger, not lust. Something older. Worn.
You open your mouth.
But nothing comes out.
Because the second you look at him โ really look at him โ the lie won't leave your tongue.
So instead, your fingers reach for the knot of his shirt. Button by button, slow and deliberate, you undo them โ watching his breath hitch with every inch of skin revealed.
His hands find your hips. Light, tentative.
"This is a mistake," you whisper.
He nods. "Yeah."
Still, neither of you stop.
When he kisses you this time, it's nothing like the alley.
It's slow. Careful. Searching. The kind of kiss that speaks in apologies neither of you will ever say out loud. His hands cradle your jaw like you're made of something breakable. Your fingers tangle in his hair like you've done it before โ like you've wanted to for a long time.
The bedsheets tangle beneath you. Clothes fall away in pieces. Every touch feels dangerous. Like you're crossing a line that can't be uncrossed. But by the time his mouth finds your throat and your nails dig into his back, it doesn't matter anymore.
Because you've already crossed it.
You move together like you're fighting for air. Desperate. Slow, then not. His name slips past your lips like a secret you've been holding onto. Yours is a curse on his tongue. When he finally sinks into you, it's not just sex โ it's surrender.
And you both lose.
You don't fall asleep in each other's arms.
That would be too soft. Too honest.
Instead, you lie back-to-back, sharing heat but not words. Neither of you speak. But neither of you move away.
And in the quiet dark, when you think he's asleep, you whisper the truth into the pillow:
"It meant everything."
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
The morning light is cruel.
It cuts through the flimsy hotel curtains, slicing the room into jagged strips of gold and gray. You wake to the sound of traffic outside, your body sore in all the right places and your heart in all the wrong ones.
Javier's still asleep. Or pretending to be.
He's facing away from you, one arm thrown over the pillow, bare back rising and falling with slow, even breaths. The sheets hang low around his hips, revealing a constellation of old scars you've seen before in glimpses โ in dressing rooms, in alleyways, in briefings when his shirt rode up just enough. But it's different now.
You saw him last night. All of him.
And now you don't know what the hell to do with it.
You sit up carefully, like if you move too fast, the entire night will come undone. The ache between your thighs is a reminder. The bruises blooming on your hips. The way his voice rasped your name like it hurt to say it.
"It meant everything"
You said that.
He didn't.
And that silence is louder now than ever.
You get dressed in the dark. No words. No eye contact. You don't even steal one last look at him as you slip out the door.
It's easier that way.
Later, at the station, everything's back to normal.
On the surface, anyway.
Javier's already there when you arrive โ lounging against the file cabinet, shirt crisp, sunglasses on, coffee in hand. Like nothing happened. Like he didn't wreck you in a cheap hotel bed just hours ago.
You nod once, cold and professional. He nods back.
Two agents. Two masks.
Your hands brush when you both reach for the same file. Just a second. Barely anything.
But your breath catches.
So does his.
Neither of you look at each other.
You think you're holding it together until she walks in.
Marisol.
New transfer from Caracas. Sharp. Loud laugh. Pretty, in that obvious way that always turns heads โ and Javier's eyes definitely turn. You see it happen. You feel it happen. Like a knife dragged slow across your ribs.
She compliments his tie. He says something back โ low, charming.
She laughs.
Your stomach flips violently.
You don't want to care. You shouldn't care. But your jaw is already clenched and your nails are digging into the folder in your hands and god, you hate him. You hate him so much it makes your hands shake.
You storm out.
He finds you twenty minutes later in the back office. The one with the broken lamp and the blinds that don't close.
"You got a minute?" he asks.
You don't answer.
He steps inside anyway. Closes the door behind him with a soft click.
"What the hell is your problem?" you snap before he can speak.
Javier lifts a brow. "You tell me."
"Don't play dumb with me, Peรฑa. You've been doing this long enough."
He crosses his arms. "Doing what?"
You laugh, sharp and humorless. "Acting like you didn't crawl into my bed last night at the hotel. Acting like I'm nothing more than another fucked-up field assignment you have to manage."
He steps closer. "I never said that."
"You didn't have to."
"You left," he says, voice low. "Before I could say anything. Before either of us could."
You shove past him, pacing. Your body hums with frustration, with want, with this unbearable itch under your skin that only he seems to cause.
"Maybe because I knew what you'd say," you throw over your shoulder. "Maybe because I didn't want to hear it."
"Yeah?" His voice follows you. Sharp now. Angry. "Maybe because you're scared."
You whirl around. "Of what? You?"
"Of this." He gestures wildly, like the word itself is too much to touch. "Of the fact that we can't keep pretending it doesn't mean anything when every time I look at you, I want to fucking lose it."
You blink.
"I see someone talking to you, I want to rip their throat out. I watch you walk out of the bed like it was nothing and it makes me want to put my fist through a wall."
You stare at him. Mouth open. Heart racing.
"You make me fucking crazy," he growls, stepping closer, crowding you against the filing cabinet.
"You think I don't feel that too?" you snap, voice shaking. "You think this is easy for me?"
"Then stop pretending it didn't happen."
You hesitate. Just a second. That's all he needs.
He grabs your face and kisses you.
Hard. Messy. Everything you've both been holding in, all at once.
You gasp, grabbing the front of his shirt, pulling him closer. He lifts you onto the cabinet without thinking, your legs around his waist, mouths moving like it's a fight neither of you want to win. You kiss him like you hate him. He kisses you like it's the last time.
Your teeth clash. His hand fists in your hair.
Your hips grind against him, slow and filthy, and if someone walked in right now, neither of you would stop.
It's reckless. It's stupid.
It's real.
And you both know it.
When the kiss finally breaks, you're both breathless.
Foreheads pressed together. Hands shaking.
No one speaks.
But for the first time, you both stop pretending
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
The office is dark when you find him.
Everyone else has gone home โ agents, techs, the night shift. The hum of fluorescent lights has given way to the low drone of rain against the windows, and the station feels like a ghost town. Quiet. Unsettled.
You should've left hours ago.
But you couldn't. Not after today. Not after what happened in that back office. Not after the way his mouth found yours like it belonged there. Like it had been waiting for months โ maybe years โ for you to stop running.
You find him in the file room. His back's to the door. Cigarette between his fingers. Shoulders hunched like the weight of the world finally decided to sit down on top of him.
He doesn't turn around when you step in.
But he says your name.
Soft. Almost like a prayer.
You close the door behind you.
For a long time, there's silence. The air between you isn't electric this time. It's heavy. Thick with all the things you've tried to swallow down. Things you can't outrun anymore.
Finally, you speak.
"I'm not doing this if it's just hate sex."
He flinches.
Just a little.
You step closer. Slow. Measured. Like if you move too fast, the whole thing will collapse.
"I mean it, Peรฑa. If this is just anger and adrenaline and us trying to fuck out whatever damage we're both dragging aroundโthen I'm done. I'm not going to keep being a place you go when you don't know what else to feel."
He turns now.
The look on his face knocks the breath right out of you.
It's not hard. Not cocky. Not that smirk you've memorized and resented.
It's broken.
"I don't know when it stopped being hate," he says, voice rough, "but it's not just fucking anymore."
You freeze.
He steps closer.
"I've tried to lie to myself. Hell, I've tried to lie to you." He exhales a shaky breath, tosses the cigarette into the trash without looking. "But every time I think I'm done with you, I hear your voice or see your goddamn face and it's like something inside me catches fire all over again."
He's inches from you now. Just close enough to touch. But he doesn't. Not yet.
"I don't hate you," he says. "I couldn't if I tried."
Your heart's beating so loud you're sure he can hear it.
You stare at him.
"You make me feel like I can't breathe," you whisper. "Like I've been holding my head above water for so long, and you're the only person who ever saw me drowning."
He swallows hard.
"Then let me help you breathe."
You don't move.
Not at first.
Because letting him hold you means admitting it's not about lust. Not about anger. It means letting go of the armor you've spent years building โ the walls, the sarcasm, the indifference.
But he's still standing there. Waiting. Not forcing.
And you realize suddenly โ he's just as scared as you are.
So you reach for him.
And he comes apart.
He kisses you like you're a truth he's never been brave enough to say out loud. Like he's sorry and angry and hopelessly in love, all at once. His hands cradle your face like he's holding something sacred. Yours thread through his hair, gentle now. No more desperation. Just need.
Slow.
Careful.
Different.
You end up in his apartment. You don't even remember how you got there.
You fall into bed fully clothed, kissing each other like the world might end in the morning โ like maybe that'd be okay, as long as this is the last thing you feel.
This time, it's quiet.
No fight. No bite.
Just two people learning what it means to be held.
He wraps himself around you like he's afraid you'll disappear. And you don't pull away. For once, you don't run. You lie there in the dark, heart still pounding, breath slowing in sync with his.
It takes a long time to fall asleep.
But when you do, it's next to him.
And this time, you stay
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
๐ฅ โฆ PEDRO PASCAL MASTERLIST โฆ ๐๏ธ
minors do not interact | 18+ content | chaotic slow burns, soft smut, way too much emotional damage
โพ ๐ซ fluff โพ ๐ angst โพ ๐ค smut โพ ๐ญ enemies to lovers โพ ๐ฌ series โพ ๐ฐ๏ธ mutual pining โพ
๐ฑ text format / social media fic โพ ๐ญ emotional โพ series.
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
โก ๐ท๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ท๐๐๐๐๐ โก
Au
Soft Launch ๐ค Pedro Pascal Fanfiction ๐ซ ๐ ๐ค ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๏ธ ๐ฑ ๐ญ
Season Of Long x Pedro Pascal Au
Bridgerton style Pedro pascal Au fanfiction, Belladonna Bridgerton x Pedro Pascal
The Duke And The Debutante
Duke Pedro Pascal Au x Debutante lady Bridgerton Reader. Possible chance for book
The Mug, The Myth, The Menace. ๐ซ ๐ฐ๏ธ
Author Pedro Pascal Au x Roommate witchy roommate. Possible chapter two
Drunk Confessions ๐ซ ๐ ๐ญ
Best Friend Pedro Pascal x hopelessly in love reader
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
โก ๐ฑ๐๐๐ ๐ด๐๐๐๐๐ โก
The Last Of Us
Ghost of you
Joel Miller x Reader. Song one shot
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
โก ๐ฏ๐๐๐๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โก
Materialists
Pacifier her ๐ซ ๐
Boss Harry Castillo x known for 13 years and co worker of 7 years reader. Possible chapter two
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
โก ๐จ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฑ๐๐๐ โ๐พ๐๐๐๐๐๐โ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐๐โ๐ โก
Kingsman: The Golden Circle
To be written
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
โก ๐ซ๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐๐ โก
The Mandalorian
Wanted: Dead or Alive ๐ญ ๐ซ
Enemy bounty hunter din x bounty hunter reader. Possible chapter two
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
โก ๐ถ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ด๐๐๐๐๐๐ โก
Game of Thrones
To be written
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
โก ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ท๐รฑ๐ โก
Narcos
We Were never just enemies ๐ซ ๐ ๐ญ ๐ฐ๏ธ
Officer Javier x officer reader close proximity. Maybe a a chapter two
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
โก ๐ญ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ด๐๐๐๐๐๐ โก
Triple Frontier
To be written
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
โก ๐ด๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ด๐๐๐๐๐ โก
We Can Be Heroes
To be written
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
โก ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐ป๐๐๐๐ โก
The Great Wall
To be written
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
โก ๐ฑ๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐รฉ๐๐๐๐ โก
The Unbearable weight of massive talent
To be written
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
โก ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐จ๐๐๐๐๐๐ โก
Gladiator 2
To be written
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
โก ๐ช๐๐๐๐ โก
Freaky tales
To be written
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ
โก ๐ฌ๐๐๐ โก
Prospect
To be written
๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ โฆ ๐๏ธ โฆ ๐ฅ