Inner Waymark

Nick Meador shares perspectives on holistic lifestyle and wellness, with the core idea that we can find meaning, purpose, and direction within. Currently posting travel updates from Central America.

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From 2016/1/17: On Friday I started a Reiki, Energy Medicine, and Esoteric Healing workshop in San Marcos. It was a day of fireworks and loud music in town as the locals celebrated the entry of new government officials from mayor all the way up to president. I felt the itch to get back to traveling, but a part of me knew it would be good to sit with the restlessness. Whatever was bugging me would trail behind. That night I happened upon a fire spinning performance. Then Saturday I took an early solo hike into the mountains above town – the kind of hike that became a metaphor for life in the way I wanted to reach a point with a clear view where it would all make sense, only to realize that even a dead-end high up in the jungle was still an accomplishment and provided many insights. Later in class I learned a kind of acupressure that was extremely powerful both giving and receiving. At night saw local band Kumara Guatemala play in town, and felt gratitude for being able to go out and experience heartfelt conversations with something like 8 separate human beings all in one night. Then Sunday I got my Reiki II attunement!! I can now start doing that work with people! I spent time integrating by the turbulent lake, and finally happened upon a poetry ceremony where I shared a piece I wrote back in late 2012 – my first time doing stand-up reading in nearly three years. So I've had a full weekend, definitely with inner trials but also great rewards. Great things are coming. :)

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From 2016/1/15: Recently I heard a quote... something like "Everyone always asks 'Who am I?' That's not nearly as important as 'Who do I *become* when I don't get my way?'" (Attribution, anyone?) On Thursday night I didn't get my way. I spontaneously accepted an invite from friends to an electronic show across the lake in San Pedro, knowing that the public water taxis stopped shortly after that. I figured it would be an exercise in going with the flow. We got a number for one boat driver who could take us back to San Marcos, but I was ready to return before midnight and my friends wanted to stay much later. No San Pedro hostels answered when I called, and any solo transportation would have been costly and potentially unsafe. So I moped and grumped for a while, especially with all the cigarettes and booze around at the show. It took me a few hours to dissolve my desire to control the situation, my impulse to get to bed "on time," and my out-of-place feeling for being the sober one. Soon I was part of a parade of about 80 people in the streets of San Pedro looking for an after party that didn't actually exist – probably the most comical scene of my trip so far. I made it home in the private boat and felt fine the next day. No regrets, only learnings. :D

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From 2016/1/19: In my third appearance on the Project Bring Me to Life podcast, we talked about my trip to Spain for the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage and a seminar in large group facilitation, while overcoming long-term illness.

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From 2016/1/14: This is part two in my video blog series about red flags in self-development groups, now about when deep emotional outpours are encouraged in an unsafe container for status and belonging in the group. #InnerWaymark #SpeakingMyTruth #WatchOutWorld

Sign up for my mailing list (https://groups.google.com/forum/#!forum/nmfacilitator) and learn about my work on my website: http://ndmeador.wordpress.com.

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From 2016/1/16: On Wednesday I got to try the Lucia Light Experience, a hypnagogic device that uses white light to induce brain states rarely achieved outside of deep meditation. I had heard about Lucia a few years ago, but it fell off my radar until this week. I went in with minimal expectations, wondering if it could have therapeutic use. Afterwards I couldn't believe that it was only white light passing through my eyelids. I saw incredible colors, geometries, and interference patterns. Yet I was obviously sober and still definitely in my body. I felt afraid at first of the resemblance to a pre-migraine aura, but was able to breathe through it and let go. Then I gained a few insights for the Inner Waymark workshop I'll lead today. Overall I had a highly valuable experience marked by feelings of peace and significance. Much gratitude to James for making it available. Coincidentally, I also got to try the popsicle stick version (pictured here), which can be constructed for pennies and produces a similar (if less complex) effect when spun between the sun and closed eyes. Added 2016/1/21: Just to follow up on this, my hypothesis is that this had some destabilizing effects on my dopamine/seratonin system, judging by the mood and energy fluctuations in the 24-48 hours afterwards. But I did gain some insights and had a beautiful experience. So it's a trade-off, and probably different for different people. Hopefully some clinical research happens with it.

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From 2016/1/13: When I got to San Marcos, it surprised me that there was no weekly ecstatic dance happening in town. But I spotted the perfect space and said, "What the hell. Let's give it a try." I procured a stereo, made simple flyers, and posted a Facebook event. But I discovered that word-of-mouth had the biggest impact in such a small community. Sam Tosha helped me make cacao bliss balls to serve, nearly 30 people showed up (!!!), and Ashtar Kukuk co-facilitated by offering some embodiment exercises to start us off. What an amazing evening! It really confirmed that this is the perfect place to experiment with facilitation and affirm that I have a lot of value to offer the world, especially in collaboration with the right people. Reprise coming next week. 😄

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From 2016/1/12: On Sunday I hiked to The Yoga Forest for their weekly ecstatic dance. From San Marcos, painted flowers mark the way up to the mountainside eco-village. Their multi-use space (dancefloor/classroom/etc) is wedged between a waterfall and rock walls that beg to be climbed. It was surreal to be at one of the communities I had contacted early in 2015 when planting the first seeds of this journey. I followed my body when the desire for rest came on, and walked back to town for a second cacao ceremony. The lesson in the air is about doing what I want, standing up for my needs (even internally), and trusting that every experience is an opportunity to learn and grow.

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From 2016/1/11: After the intense OSHO meditation course last week, I felt glad to have some time to explore town and relax. But I had my first Central American food scare Friday and Saturday. Apparently parasites are a big issue at Lake Atitlan. Friends gave me anti-parasite supplements and I switched to a cautious vegan diet. It’s all part if the experience. My new place to stay doesn’t have heated water, which makes a game out of finding a shower at least every 48 hours. I want to stay present and keep flowing instead of doing too much planning and problem-solving. I also want to be authentic and raw, while also honoring how special it is to be here. It’s a ride, indeed. :)

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From 2016/1/9: I can tell that just being in San Marcos for a while will be an education in itself. Aside from the plethora of courses and retreats available, I'm always running into people who are also working on themselves, seeking purpose, and connecting to spirit. We share ideas and reflect on our experiences, mostly face-to-face, often over food, tea, or cacao. In that way, community can be a great teacher. I do want to spend time at established eco-villages, but San Marcos feels like something between that and the sprawling city layouts in more developed places. Now finally taking some hammock time after a hectic month or so. 😎

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From 2016/1/8: I feel tiiiired. I went right from Christmas season into a transformational festival into an intense OSHO meditation/facilitation retreat. Now it's time to ground in and rebuild my energy. San Marcos has opened its arms to me. A place to stay "fell in my lap" amidst high season competition, probably through the end of January. And I have a new burst of inspiration for leading groups. This is a good place to experiment with events in a tight-knit community. Experiencing the totally embodied meditations taught me just how overly cognitive my facilitation has been up to this point. Now I see a potential triad leading from unfolding/processing to clearing/releasing (the new, more somatic/meditative part) to re-programming/hacking. I'm planning two events for next week in San Marcos: an Inner Waymark Gathering and an ecstatic dance, both including cacao, both at Eco Hotel La Paz. Stay tuned for details. 2016 is about to get funky. 😎 Here, sunrise from the San Marcos dock on Friday morning.

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From 2016/1/6: Random shots from around San Marcos

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From 2016/1/6: I'm in a rough phase... the peak of a cold, the depths of intense personal work. But magic still abounds, and it's all part of the path. "Thus it can be seen that mental health is based on a certain amount of tension between what one has already achieved and what one still ought to accomplish... What [humans actually need] is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task. What [they need] is not the discharge of tension at any cost but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled..." -Victor Frankl

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From 2016/1/5: Shaking is a natural part of trauma release in the animal kingdom. I knew that from trying TRE (Trauma Release Exercises) and reading about Somatic Experiencing. What I didn’t know is that it’s possible to get to that kind of a spontaneous twitching without first contorting the body in various muscle-stressing positions. And it feels pretty good! But the trick is to keep wiggling out the compulsive, unhelpful thoughts that arise. Making nonsense sounds while stretching out the face also achieves this. Very serious stuff I’m learning in my OSHO meditation & facilitation training! ;) Photo: the view from the Sanctuary retreat center.

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Later 2016-1-4: On Saturday, at the end of Cosmic Convergence, I took a boat across Lake Atitlan from Santiago, stopping in San Pedro (more of a party town) and landing in the mythical San Marcos la Laguna. This place is mostly a walking village, and filled with every variety of healing and self-development practice. It feels like a combination of various earth spots that are special to me, like northern Michigan and the Gulf Coast of Florida. It mirrors my imagined vision of what Big Sur, California, must have been like in the early 1960s. Today (Monday) I start a four-day facilitation and leadership training with Gaia Ma, founder of the InanItah ecovillage in Nicaragua. The trick in a place like this is remembering to take time alone for rest and recharging. I may be here a while... :)

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From 2016-1-4: On Sunday I finally visited Keith the “cacao shaman” at his home in San Marcos la Laguna, and joined in a cacao ceremony for nearly seven hours. I’d describe it as a gentle group therapy with facilitation from both the skillful Keith and magical Guatemalan cacao, plus the warm company of a bunch of genuine souls. This is the view of Lake Atitlan from the ceremony porch. I came out feeling light and clear. I will be back. :)

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From 2016/1/3: Reflections on Cosmic Convergence 2015/2016: Every transformational festival I've ever attended had been challenging for me. But there are also moments of bliss, great learning, and connection that make it all worthwhile. More than anything this one offered a mirror for how I've changed in the past couple years. From start to finish I tried to push myself past my own B.S. and barriers and meet others in a heart-centered place. I had a couple of incredible workshop experiences that informed the next stage of my journey. Not to mention I got my fill of booty-shaking for four days. The festival was intimate enough that I formed bonds with organizers, artists, and fellow attendees. All this nestled between volcanoes and lush hills on the banks of Lake Atitlan, which really surpasses its reputation. Plus I loved staying in the town of Santiago and mixing with the beautiful souls and their ever-pulsing market. I am grate-FULL! Hasta la próxima vez!! :) <3

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From 2016/1/1: Happy New Year from Guatemala! By far my favorite part of this trip has been the people, both the Mayans and those visiting from other parts of the world. These travelers are not the couch potato variety of domesticated ape, but “movers, shakers, and change makers,” people pushing themselves into the new and unknown, working to fulfill their dreams while also helping others thrive. Everywhere I go I’m filled with inspiration and wonder. Guatemala (probably other Central America spots, too, from what I hear) really hosts a special meeting of the minds. :) <3 (at Santiago Atitlán)