Constantly Screaming

I hate this website

[whitepeopletwitter]

[grassfire]

every time i blindly slide the usb-c cable against the lip of my ipad looking for the tiny charge port, metal scraping against metal in my dark bedroom

i think of that stupid fucking sherlock scene every goddamn time

[gudgercollege]

This line was an update of a deduction Holmes made about a pocketwatch in the original story so now I'm wondering if the Victorians who were bad at winding their watches in the dark felt the same bitterness that Holmes would assume they're an alcoholic.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i love that sirius black escapes azkaban and his first 2 instincts are:

seek vengeance  

buy expensive gifts for school children 

[alicat-gotyourtongue]

If these aren’t your two primary goals following a dramatic escape from a supermax prison— what are you even doing with your life?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

“dramatic escape” that bitch literally just walked out

[little-miss-rasputin-pageant]

HE SWAM ACROSS THE FUCKING OCEAN AS A DOG I THINK THAT QUALIFIES AS A DRAMATIC ESCAPE

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

that bitch literally DOGGY PADDLED AWAY

[kitten-cab00dle]

Azkaban designers: our guards cannot see and may not be able to hear but they can sense youw feewings

[whitepeopletwitter]

[too-cool-for-facebook]

[boxercrab]

source

[bogleech]

no territorialism between different kinds of moral eels, they know they’re all the same ridiculous thing

[journeymanfool]

me and the boys

[meangirls2004]

legendary

[honeyfawns]

mid life crisis ? no no, mid DAY crisis. happens every day

[fakeboitherottengirl]

[neotravis]

rand paul really is wild

[renemagritte-art]

[hell-cube-deactivated20230327]

Every day, 1966 by Rene Magritte

[your-local-bi]

Just Trying To Blend In With My Green Screen, 2018 by Jenna Marbles

[shencomix]

[anxietyproblem]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[weaselle]

time to hit the government with a motherfucking

[lmaonade]

oh just like real life!

[arbyscurlyfries666-deactivated2]

this is what pops up in a youtube vlogger’s peripheral vision when they hit 1 million subs

[mysharona1987]

[spacehomos]

Confess and get the fuck out

[theladytrickster]

These sound like the words of a broken man

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

Me, in Ancient Greece, tying my sandals and pretending I don’t know that swan checking me out is Zeus:

[sprimpfriedrice]

me, an ancient greek, knowing that some thot is about to send hera on another murderous rampage

[lil-lit-bit]

Me knowing the baby zeus just put in her is gonna have a hellish life because she got thotty with Hera’s man

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

I’m a dude, LMAO. :p

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

It has come to my attention in the notes that Zeus’ monster thundercock would probably still get me pregnant anyway, and you know what? You’re absolutely right! Me, going to Mount Olympus to pick up my alimony checks from Hera, cause Zeus is out being a thot with someone else after I moved on to some cute, horny Satyr:

[ike-loves-men]

Hera smiting you as soon as you appear there:

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

Me, walking right back into Olympus after I convince Zeus to give me some thotty job like cup bearer or whatever so Hera can’t touch me:

[me93]

this post makes me thankful that the world didn’t end

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

If I had to nominate one of my posts as my favorite I’ve made the last decade, it would be this one.

[actuallygodzilla]

i am not immune to the giant valentine bear aisle