I decided to make a post about some of the wacky things I hear my friends say
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Me: Bellamy is 23 and Clarke is 17 in season 1
Her: I mean...age is just a number ❤
Her: NOO I'M KIDDING. But seriously, she's legal now so it should be fine if they end up together.
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Me: So that's my only issue with their soft pretzels. They are oversalted and I need to scrape some off.
Friend: See, that's a big issue. Usually soft pretzels have enough salt to collapse the economy.
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(In regards to a restaurant putting the wrong name on my order)
Me: So instead of my name they put down the name Krin -.-
Friend: Dang, that's pretty Krin-ge
Me: I appreciate that you have the time to laugh at my misery
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Me: You threatened to get us banned from the pottery place!
Friend: I didn't though! Although, I should have shot paint at that worker.
Me: She was really nice though
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Me: (friend name), I'm a hoe again
It's like a werewolf transformation
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Friend: Inteleon is 6'3"?? 😏😏😏
Me: Stop sexualizing the chameleon!
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Me: I swear Julian is a masochist. He alludes to it too much.
Friend: Would you be down to give him what he wants?
Me: I was gonna say that I'd beat him up but he'd probably enjoy that. And i'm not sure. The worst I could probably do to him is give him a little smack on his butt
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Friend: If you dare ghost him then I'll hack your account and then block everyone but him
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Me: Apparently some people can't hear their own thoughts?
Sometimes they aren't even mine
It's a constant stream of talking
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Friend: *Sends fanart of some anime man*
Me: Okay I guess he looks good
Friend: Literally the best man I’ve seen all week
His only flaw is that he isn’t real and holding me in his arms
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Friend: So the question says "What is one thing you've learned so far that can keep you safe during quarantine?" We are talking about the reproductive system. Like how am I supposed to answer without getting in trouble?? "Wear a condom" "Close your legs" "don't be a thot" "Yeetus the Fetus"
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Me: Remind me to never let (friend) walk behind me again. All I heard was “(My name)’s got that fatty” and she was talking about my butt again. I am a modest lady and she always talks about my butt!!
Friend: It’s (friend) we’re talking about, modesty isn’t real
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Me: *Telling my friend about the fo4 companions*
Friend: Tbh I would still kiss him. Is his d*ck normal tho? Tbh would still ride that radiation fried d*ck
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Me: He’s a villain! He has a right to look like a king!
Me: This feels like a personal attack on me
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Me: I could never be the dom in a relationship but being called master kinda hits different.
Ugh I hate myself for saying that
U are now a certified whore
*Cue me somehow conveying being a stuttering mess through texts*
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Me: You can’t bone someone who is literally made of bones