People will kill you over time and how they’ll kill you is with tiny harmless phrases, like ‘be realistic.
Dylan Moran (via wordsnquotes)
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@intentevolar
People will kill you over time and how they’ll kill you is with tiny harmless phrases, like ‘be realistic.
Dylan Moran (via wordsnquotes)
Connect with people who remind you of what you truly are.
Ralph Smart (via wnq-anonymous)
“Sex is what makes us human”. Really? Because monkeys have sex. Turtles have sex. Barnacles have sex.
Humans learn foreign languages just because they can. Humans bake cookies. Humans knit sweaters. Humans ask permission to pet other humans’ dogs. Humans argue over whether ghosts are real. Humans write stories they’re too embarrassed to show to anybody. Humans eat food so spicy it makes our noses run. Humans do google searches to find out what kind of bird is making that noise. Humans build pyramids, or travel thousands of miles to look at other humans’ pyramids.
“Sex is what makes us human”. Really?
i think the most egregious example of the manic pixie dream girl trope was this play i but I just remembered seeing it, several years ago…
it was about this sad-sack guy driving across the country to try and reunite his old band for one last show
he’s accompanied by this girl who he was in the band with, back in the day… and he was in love with her then, and she’s cool & smart & funny & talks only to him for the entire play, even when the rest of the band joins him on the drive
& at the end of the play it turns out that she was a ghost the whole time, nobody else in the play could see or hear her, & the ‘last show’ he kept referring to is actually going to be her funeral wake bcs she died..
That her ghost had accompanied them on this trip bcs he was grieving & she wanted to help him let go of her…
which, you know, was a surprise & it was really emotional & legit the play was pretty good
But I just started thinking about it randomly…
And I keep being struck by the fact that the play only works if the entire audience is so used to the idea that a female character would literally only speak to the main male character for the entire length of a narrative.
Would only converse with him, interact with him, even when there were other people around.
That even as he talked about what he was doing next, she never discussed their future goals. She never touched any props or anyone other than him.
That nothing she did or said would genuinely have anything to do with herself as a person, except in the context of how he felt about her.
The entire play hinges on the audience not expecting anything hinky about a female character who acts like that,
& most of the audience bought it, hook, line, and sinker.
even I did. there was genuine feeling of surprise in the room
and I just…
A woman can literally be an incorporeal ghost & as long as she is emotionally supportive of a man we see her as a fully realistically person
if that isn’t a sad indictment of how female characters get treated idk what is, honestly
I’m always soft for you, that’s the problem. You could come knocking on my door five years from now and I would open my arms wider and say ‘come here, it’s been too long, it felt like home with you.
(via soullessgoth)
EMOTIONAL ABUSE
Lots of people talk about physical abuse, but what about emotional abuse? Emotional abuse AKA mental abuse, is when a person or people treat someone poorly enough to create the same psychological feelings as physical abuse. (Fear, depression, trauma…)
Some examples of emotional abuse are: ~ degrading comments/insults towards you ~ constantly pushing aside your opinion like it doesn’t matter ~ using sarcasm and jokes to put you down in harsh ways ~ belittling or crushing your accomplishments or goals ~ doing things to you that they would hate if you did to them ~ making excuses and never apologizing ~ putting the blame on you and making you feel like it’s your fault ~ abandoning//ignoring you in order to “punish” you ~ humiliating you in front of others ~ threatening you in order to get what they want
Examples of someone who has been emotionally abused: ~ constant apologizing ~ hiding their feelings in fear of upsetting you ~ breaking down during small disagreements because they’re scared it will get bigger ~ low self-esteem due to insults ~ needing lots of reassurance
PLEASE RECOGNIZE THESE AND STAY SAFE
Exploring Emotionally Abusive Relationships
Characteristics of an emotionally abusive relationship include:
· Using money as a means of control
· Threatening to walk out or abandon you
· Creating fear and anxiety through looks, words, threats and actions
· Destroying things (and often things you value) – either in a cold and heartless way, or in an angry fit of rage
· Using blaming, shaming, minimizing and denial to control you
· Verbally attacking and demeaning you (includes name calling, shouting at you, criticising and putting you down – especially in public)
· Attacking and putting you down in private, and acting loving and charming in public
· Minimising the abuse; acting as if you’re over-reacting and it’s “no big deal”
· Deliberately withholding approval, affirmation and affection as a means of punishment or control
The effects of living with emotional abuse include:
· A fear of being natural and spontaneous
· A loss of enthusiasm
· Insecurity related to how they coming across to others
· An inner belief that they are deeply flawed
· A loss of self-confidence and self esteem
· Growing self-doubt (so they’re afraid to make even the smallest decision, or to take on even the simplest of tasks)
· Never trusting their own judgment (as they believe that they’re likely to get it wrong, or to misunderstand or misread everything)
· Having a constant critic in their head
· Feeling they should be happier and more upbeat than they are (in order to meet the approval of others)
· Feeling they’re too sensitive, and ought to “toughen up”
· Fearing they’re going crazy, or losing their mind
· Having a tendency to live in the future (“Everything will be OK when/after ….”)
· A desire to break free, escape or run away
· A distrust and fear of entering into any close relationships again.
We have a double standard, which is to say, a man can show how much he cares by being violent – see, he’s jealous, he cares – a woman shows how much she cares by how much she’s willing to be hurt; by how much she will take; how much she will endure.
Andrea Dworkin (via 4a0000)
I keep trying to feel who I was, and cannot.
Jack Gilbert, from “Summer at Blue Creek, North Carolina,” Collected Poems (Knopf, 2012)
I’m gone just leave this here ….
If men stopped working…the world would continue on.
If women stopped working, then things would get ugly.
What?
there has been an instance where this happened. it was 1975 and icelandic women decided not to work for one day. working as in cooking, cleaning, taking care of the children, doing chores and so on, not only “not showing up to your workplace”. women did nothing that day, except showing up in reykjavik and protesting for gender equality, equal pay and equal representation in parliament, you know, cool stuff. you know what happened? havoc. men were left with food to cook and children they never took care of to pick up from kindergarden and entertain for the day. they went en masse to the food shops buying sausages because they could cook nothing else, they had to bond with children they never spent more than a couple hours a day with. they struggled combining their work day and the domestic tasks they had to sort out. and this just for one day. iceland in 1975 stopped working and things indeed got ugly. so ugly that women in the following decades became woke AF and soon it happened that women became president, took half of the seats in parliament and achieved one of the best living environments in the world. is your astonishment solved now?
We try so hard to hide everything we’re really feeling from those who probably need to know our true feelings the most.
Colleen Hoover, Maybe Someday (via wordsnquotes)
Accept the fact that you will grow apart from people you’ve had significant relationships with. Understand when someone no longer positively affects your life. Let them go. Don’t hinder your growth.
Lyjeeria (via doll)
Things they don’t teach you in school
(via 5-p-m)
i relate to neutron stars, for i, too, have been crushed beyond recognition by the gravity of my responsibilities, and i will continue to spin wildly for many years