… Oh. That’s… Hm.
“>…..”
She thinks for a short time, reviewing what she knows. According to a firsthand account, Zero stifled any and all expressions of individuality or independence. If not them directly, it was others in the hivemind who would regulate their peers. There was no tolerance for deviation. She can guess that the “reconstruction” Blade mentioned is akin to the “reintegration” she had been told of previously.
However… Zero is gone, as is most of the hivemind. While it’s possible there are a handful of surviving individuals who still cling to their previous habits, others have been more or less free to start trying to lead normal lives. As close to normal as they can be, anyways… But that might be a little much to suggest.
“>… For some people, discussing how they feel can be a good way to process those feelings. You might realize something you didn’t before, or receive an alternative perspective. As things are, I do not believe you need to worry about “reconstruction” for expressing yourself.”
Though not stated outright, the question of “who is left to stop you?” is certainly implied.
". . ."
Blade is visibly contemplative.
Freedom to express... "themself"...
But who or what are they, if not a servant of— No. As much temptation as there is to do so, they need to stop with this back and forth, don't they? This... internal argument ultimately does little to help. Their "nature" was always defined by Zero... but did Swordsman ever want that?
No. No. No. This, they know. Life as a mindless speck would have been less miserable, the Dark Matter had often thought. To loathe the happiness of others... because, by nature, they could never obtain such a thing.
But now... Now they're given the actual opportunity to change things, and yet their mind keeps going back to their designated purpose, their instincts—
What is it that some mortals say...?
Get it together?
...
"...What... Where... where would I. Start? Feelings... are..."
Difficult.
It’s clear they’re thinking about this a lot… Which makes sense. There’s a very real possibility this is the first time they’ve really done so in this manner. Dark Matters aren’t exactly welcome by most, which in turn means Blade probably hasn’t really had much encouragement to start figuring things out. Going about life more or less aimlessly, not sure of who you are in the wake of everything you knew being gone or changed beyond recognition, not knowing anyone you can turn to for a sense of direction… Though her own circumstances were quite different, she knows from experience how difficult it can be. Leading a life determined by others is stifling, but waking up one day and suddenly having to determine how you will live in a world that you don’t even seem to fit in… It’s overwhelming.
And that was with experience balancing a variety of different emotions and perspectives and ideas. Trying to reconcile who you were with who you are or who you want to be kinda requires being able to understand yourself on some level, which is something she can’t really help them with directly. They’ve met before and talked about things, but one conversation hardly constitutes knowing them well. Certainly not as well as they could know themself. So, their question remains open: where to even start?
“>Hm… It might be a good idea to try and identify what exactly you’re feeling first, if you haven’t already. Knowing your emotions is the first step to processing them. Once you do that, you can think about the reasons behind them, and whether they are something you can realistically do anything about. If you can’t change anything, dwelling on it isn’t really going to be helpful. If you can change something, even if it’s small, you can start thinking about how to go about doing so.”
… The ship wonders if this may have actually been a bit much to suggest all at once...
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